There's a Point Where You'll Break But...

I need a fucking drink. She needs to get outta my mind.

“Yo Jimbo! What the hell are you doing taking my beer?!” I heard Brian, my best friend, yell at me from the couch. I looked up at him, staring at him with my cold, depressed eyes. He gave me a quick sympathetic look knowing that I hated it. Brian stood up and sat next to me, around the small table in the small tour bus.

“Dude, let it go.” He started out, putting an arm around my shoulders. “I know you love her, but you can’t be drinking yourself into oblivion every fucking night.”

Too bad that I actually can do that. And that I would indeed, “Drink myself into oblivion”. And it feels so fucking good when I do. Because she doesn’t crawl back into my mind. I just nodded my head to get Brian off my back. He just gave me a brief hug and left to the bunks with a quiet goodnight. I nodded nonchalantly and went back to Brian’s beer that was glued to the palm of my hand. I breathed deeply before getting the tip of the bottle to make contact with my lips. I chugged down the rest of the ¾ filled bottle, slamming it back down onto the table and caused it to shake with fear. I stared at the empty bottle with pure agony.

“You know, Ash wouldn’t be too happy if she found out that you’re doing this almost every night.” I heard from the couch across from me.

“I know,” I whispered,“ but she loves someone else Val. I can’t force her to love me back.” My eyes became watery and I did my best to blink it away. “I don’t know what to do…” My breathing changed its tempo as I began to feel the emotional pain stab my body repeatedly. I can’t hold anything back now. I felt fragile arms drape over my neck and a soft kiss pressed against my right cheek.

“It’s okay to cry Jimmy. Don’t worry, we’ve got you.” Val said softly in my ear. I nodded and hugged Val for being there for me when I needed her most. She hugged me back as I quietly cried myself to sleep, only hearing my sobs and Val’s quiet but beautiful humming.

“I think that it’s really fucking stupid of how Ash thinks that she doesn’t love Jim. We all know that she does.” I heard being discussed a little bit in front of or behind me.

“She keeps lying to herself and I have no clue why! I don’t understand her, and whenever I say that she loves Jimmy, she gets all defensive about it!”

“Guys, shut the fuck up!” I scream. I didn’t know that they talked together like that when I sleep. What. The. Fuck!

“Oh, tough Jimmy. Now get your ass up and get ready!” Val demanded.

“What the fuck for?” I asked, crabbily.

“Date.”

I forced my eyes to open, no matter how tired I was. “Excuse me?” I asked with confusion. I looked at everyone who was on the couch and sprawled out over the floor.

“A date.” Val repeated with a smile on her face. I couldn’t tell if it was a sincere smile or if it was a sly smile. All of Val’s smiles looked the same. Damn her. I looked and Zacky and Brian to see them smirking like psychopaths.

No. Fucking. Way. In. Hell.

“With who?” I said through my teeth. I was about 99.99% sure that everyone can see the anger and annoyance in my eyes.

“Jim, you should be happy.”

“You’re setting her up, aren’t you?”

“No.” She stated. She gave a glare at me in seconds. “She called me earlier and asked for you, but you were passed out. She wanted to meet up with you.”

“Fucking liars. This isn’t a date. This is a get together to tell me to forget about her.” I scolded. But I got up and headed for the bathroom anyways. Oh boy, aren’t I in for a good day ha, fucking sarcasm, I swear. Annoying son of a bitch. I did the regular thing I do: shower, piss, brush teeth, get rid of morning(In this case afternoon) wood, etc, etc. And then I got my ass ready for the shinding of tea party bullshit.

But it’s not like I don’t give a shit, ‘cause I still get to see her beautiful face. I hate the fact that I’m such a fucking hypocrite sometimes. Jeez, I hate myself a lot.

“Jimmy!” I heard being sung. Shit. She’s here.

I checked myself out in the mirror one last time before I walked out to be enveloped into a tight hug. I immediately hugged the petite frame back and held her close. She placed her head on my chest seeing as she couldn’t reach up to my neck. I laughed softly at her.

“Shush. It’s not my fault that I’m not a fucking skyscraper like are, ya buttface.”

“But I’m your only skyscraper, right?” I asked, scared.

“Duh!” She began giggling in my chest and I probably had the biggest smile on my face.

“So, where in the hell are we going?”

“The best place ever named Wendy’s of course!” She replied back, lifting her head up to smile at me. Good lord, she got even more beautiful. Hot damn…I better not get wood.
We filed out of the bus toward Ashley’s Scion xB that was parked at the nearest gas station. We walked side by side until we had to enter the car.

“So whatcha’ been up to Ash?” I asked as she started up the engine and put the car in reverse.

“Oh, nothing really. Just broke it off with Eric though.”

My eyes widened. “What? Why?”

“He cheated on me. More than 5 times I’m assuming. But I only caught him 3 times.”

“Wow. What an asshole. How can he cheat on someone as perfect as you? Seriously. Eric is definitely stupid as hell.”

Shit. Fuck me in the ass. I can’t believe that slipped out of my god damn mouth. I just HAD to say something as stupid as that. I heard her take in a deep breath beside me. And from my peripheral vision, I saw that her adorable hands were gripping the steering wheel like a serial killer would kill his(her in this situation) victim.

“Jimmy…” she started out.

Shit. Fuck me sideways.

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I can’t control my feeling Ash, and they’re taking over me! So to be straight, I fucking love you and I can’t help it!” I practically screamed out to the world. I could tell Ash was shocked about my little/big outburst. But I seriously needed that off of my chest.
I jumped when I heard a small giggle. Then there was a burst of laughter.

“What’s so funny Ash?” I asked in a squeaky, shaky voice.

“You Jim. It would have taken about 4 bottles of Jack just to say something like that. And now you’re saying it completely and totally sober.” She explained to me. But I still had no idea why that’s funny.

“And how is that funny?” I asked curiously, as I eyed her fit upper body as she parked in the front of our favorite fast food restaurant.

“Because,” she grabbed my hands and placed them onto her lap, “I’ve waited so long to hear that.”

I looked at her, scared to death. She gave me a large happy and excited smile inaudibly giggling. She mouthed a small ‘relax’ as she began to move toward my body. I laughed a little when I saw that she also had moved upward to get near my head. Too bad she
smacked the inside of my thigh which is a turn on for me. Oh Jesus…

“I remember that your thighs were your turn on area.” She stated in the sweet, innocent, and seductive tone.

“Uhm…” I tried to hold in a moan that was trying to exit my lungs.

“Let it out Jim.” She whispered in my ear. She unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped onto my lap, straddling my waist. Then the worst thing out of all was her bucking her little, but sexy, hips against mine. By then, I definitely couldn’t hold it any longer.

“Fuckin’ A!” I harshly whispered to myself after I ‘groaned’ loudly. “Can we go inside, cause I have GOT to get rid of my problem. Which seems to adore you Ash.”

She giggled loudly as she reluctantly got off me. “Mkay. I’ll go inside and get us something to much on, while you go on in the public bathroom and get rid of your quite large boner that seems to enjoy my presence.” Ash commanded while trying her hardest not to explode in laughter.

“Oh hardy, har, har Ashley.” I spoke, dousing my words with sarcasm. She rolled her eyes at me as she unlocked the doors to the car. She leaned over toward me, me believing that she was gonna kiss me, but instead she decided to grab “Jimmy Junior”. Lucky bitch.
She quickly opened her door and ran out before I could do anything to get her back. I shook my head as she kicked her door shut and stuck her tongue out at me. I playfully glared at her as she walked in front of the car and into Wendy’s.

I wondered what I could do to get her back. I’m a 26 year old guy, with a boner, and wants revenge on the love of my life. Oh, and it’s going to be everywhere. Go me.

“Jimmy, why do you have that look on your face?” She asked as she got into the car, 15 minutes later.

“Oh, I don’t know. DO I have a look on my face?” I asked fakely confused of course. Because I’m pretty sure I had a very sinister look plastered on my face. She gave me the stink eye and kept looking at me skeptically.

“What…The…Fuck… Is that fucking SKEET?! She screamed for the whole world to hear.
I couldn’t hold back my laughter so I laughed my fucking ass off.

“I got rid of my problem!” I said as I shrugged my shoulders. I glanced up at her with blurred vision because of the tears of laughter. I heard her giggle a bit but then she growled with anger. Next thing I knew, my ass was flat on the cemented ground. I yelped like a pansy. I completely forgot that she was in shape.

Then I heard a painful whack from beside me. My eyes widened as I snapped my neck to the right where the sound came from.

And I swear to God that everyone on Earth heard my heart drop. I immediately went into action, lifting Ash’s body and cradled her in my arms. I pushed the hair out of her face and felt a gooey liquid cover my hand. I stared at the blood in shock as the hair on the back of my neck stood up in dead fear.

“Ash! Honey, open your eyes!” I screamed with fear as the tears of laughter changed to tears of fear. I started planting kisses all around her to get any kind of movement. I started screaming bloody murder for help. Employees came out as the customers looked out of the window. Ash’s body twitched in my arms as I screamed for people to call the ambulance instead of fucking standing there and staring.

“Jimmy…” I heard whispered. I cracked my neck to look down at her beautiful face which was covered in pain.

“Yes baby girl?” I asked. I used to say that when we were engaged to each other. Whenever she said Jimmy quietly, I would always say that. She smiled up at me as tears ran down her cheeks.

“I love you.” She revealed. I choked on her words as I saw the red flashing light of an ambulance.

“Baby girl, stay here for me. Please. I don’t wanna lose you.” I spat out in pure sadness. I saw with peripheral vision that the paramedics were getting the gurney out. “I love you Ash. Don’t leave me.” I whispered with all of my heart, tears falling down off of my face onto hers.

“Excuse me sir, we need you to move” A tall guy with a hospital logo on his scrubs commanded. I nodded handing Ashley’s frail body to a lady who was wearing the same uniform as the man. She was kneeling next to Ash, searching for a pulse.

Another guy in the uniform came by and lifted her up and tied her onto the gurney. The woman who checked for her pulse came toward me.

“Pardon me sir, I need information on that young lady.”

I nodded furiously looking from the woman, to the gurney where Ash laid. My heart beat quickly as it got harder for me to breath.

“Name, age, date of birth, place of origin, and what happened?”

I answered everything she wanted to know.

“Okay, thank you. You may follow me to the hospital, but once we arrive there, I have a few more questions for you.”

Again, I nodded and jumped into Ash’s car as quick as I could.

The ambulance speed as soon as it could and I followed suit. I concentrated so hard just to drive, just to pay attention. All I could think about was her. If she was okay, if she wasn’t. What would happen if she left. I just got her, I couldn’t imagine losing her now.

As we arrived, The same lady who approached me earlier, approached me once more.

“Who are you and what relations do you have with Miss Bradberry?”

I gulped loudly as I stared at the gurney being lifted out of the ambulance. The paramedics

were in a hurry, and so was I.

“I’m Jimmy Sullivan and Ash is my fiancée.”

I followed the paramedics as they entered the Emergency room of the hospital. I pushed past a set of doors and saw a doctor immediately grab the gurney and break into a run. He was yelling at nurses to get him things and to set things up. I freaked out and broke into a sprint, only to be held back by the paramedics telling me that I couldn’t follow.

I began to fret, scream, and beg them to let me go, but they weren’t having it.

2 hours later, and the doctor nor Ash or anyone else had come out to tell me what was going on. I called the gang as soon as I had calmed down and they were waiting with me. I couldn’t be any more anxious. I just wanted to see her. To kiss her. To look her in the eyes
and tell her how much I love her.

The doors opened and a middle aged man stepped out. He was wearing a shade of blue scrubs but was also wearing a concerned expression on his face.

“Bradberry?”

All of us, except for me, stood up and stared at him.

“Is she okay?” I asked slowly, staring at him with clear eyes.

“I’m…I’m sorry. She didn’t make it. She fractured her skull heavily and it was too much damage to fix. I’m gratefully sorry for your loss.”

He gave us all a sympathetic look.

I felt the hot tears in my eyes as my body lost all energy. My heart started to burn as my vision began to fade. I heard people yelling my name and screaming, but I didn’t care. All I want is Ash back. I felt my body fall onto the floor, my blood boil, and my heart race more than ever.

“I love you baby girl…I love you.” I whispered with a hard painful breath. I feel like I’m dying. I AM dying.

I’m coming baby girl.