Status: no plans finishing this
In the Pouring Rain
her smile makes everything worth it.
"What the hell happened, Ray?"
I see concern in her eyes. That kind of concern she only had for me. The next thing I knew, she was touching my lower lip with her fingers - examining the cut Alex's blow had made.
"I er.. Cut it with my teeth.. It's kinda sharp.. I think."
"Oh, shut up. Tell me the truth, please?"
Oh, Katey. Katey. Katey who had the most beautiful coral green eyes you have ever seen. Katey who always looked like she 's about to cry. Katey who always let her guard down. Katey who always belonged to someone else. Katey whose flaming red hair rode with the wind. Katey who was always fragile. Katey who never had to try and look beautiful. Katey who always forgot to bring umbrellas. Katey who was always innocent. Katey.. Katey who was never loved the way she SHOULD be.
I don't know why she always end up like this. She always hurt. She always hid the pain and I know deep inside, it's killing her to bits. I don't understand why she always fell for the wrong guy. I don't know why she always had to cry. I don't know why she always waited outside her front porch for a date that would always disappoint her.
And I don't know how to tell her the truth without making her cry. Because I know it will break her heart again. I know it will tear her up inside and I'm gonna have to watch her break if I tell her what really happened.
♦ ♦ ♦
"I know."
She smiles at me like what I was telling her was old news.
"You knew all along, then?"
"Yes, Ray. I knew all along."
"But why didn't you mean it when you quit what you had with him?"
I can't believe she just smiled at what I have told her. It would've shocked anybody - because they thought Alex and Katey belonged together. But no. Not even a sign of wanting to cry. Katey's handling this one pretty good.
"Ryan, have you ever felt like you can give up anything? Even your own happiness to that one person?"
Yes. Always, I thought. But I stayed silent so she could go on.
"Have you ever stayed up all night just thinking about that someone?"
Yes, Kate. I stayed still.
"Ray, answer me.. Because if you know what I'm feeling, maybe you'd understand why I never broke up with Alex."
I smiled at her, my eyes filling up. Somehow I know that she's about to tell me that she loves Alex more than anything else in the world. I know, somehow that she's gonna tell me that Alex means the world to her. And I'm not prepared for that. So I lied and told her:
"No. I don't know how that feels. I've never felt anything like that in my life."
She sighs and runs her fingers through my hair. Sparks fly. But I know it's only in my head. I'm the only one feeling this connection. She never felt the same way about me.
"I am in love with Alex Sky. I love him. And this feeling... this feeling of being so.. sure about something.. I guess it's true love, Ray. Alex just does not know that yet."
Her caressing hands on my cheeks. Her beautiful face. Her beautiful smile.
"I have to let him know."
I watch as she walks back Alex's house. And I wanted so badly to shield her from the pain she's about to get. But it's hopeless- I am hopeless. I watch Katey walk away as tears fall down - right there where her hands have touched my face.
I see concern in her eyes. That kind of concern she only had for me. The next thing I knew, she was touching my lower lip with her fingers - examining the cut Alex's blow had made.
"I er.. Cut it with my teeth.. It's kinda sharp.. I think."
"Oh, shut up. Tell me the truth, please?"
Oh, Katey. Katey. Katey who had the most beautiful coral green eyes you have ever seen. Katey who always looked like she 's about to cry. Katey who always let her guard down. Katey who always belonged to someone else. Katey whose flaming red hair rode with the wind. Katey who was always fragile. Katey who never had to try and look beautiful. Katey who always forgot to bring umbrellas. Katey who was always innocent. Katey.. Katey who was never loved the way she SHOULD be.
I don't know why she always end up like this. She always hurt. She always hid the pain and I know deep inside, it's killing her to bits. I don't understand why she always fell for the wrong guy. I don't know why she always had to cry. I don't know why she always waited outside her front porch for a date that would always disappoint her.
And I don't know how to tell her the truth without making her cry. Because I know it will break her heart again. I know it will tear her up inside and I'm gonna have to watch her break if I tell her what really happened.
♦ ♦ ♦
"I know."
She smiles at me like what I was telling her was old news.
"You knew all along, then?"
"Yes, Ray. I knew all along."
"But why didn't you mean it when you quit what you had with him?"
I can't believe she just smiled at what I have told her. It would've shocked anybody - because they thought Alex and Katey belonged together. But no. Not even a sign of wanting to cry. Katey's handling this one pretty good.
"Ryan, have you ever felt like you can give up anything? Even your own happiness to that one person?"
Yes. Always, I thought. But I stayed silent so she could go on.
"Have you ever stayed up all night just thinking about that someone?"
Yes, Kate. I stayed still.
"Ray, answer me.. Because if you know what I'm feeling, maybe you'd understand why I never broke up with Alex."
I smiled at her, my eyes filling up. Somehow I know that she's about to tell me that she loves Alex more than anything else in the world. I know, somehow that she's gonna tell me that Alex means the world to her. And I'm not prepared for that. So I lied and told her:
"No. I don't know how that feels. I've never felt anything like that in my life."
She sighs and runs her fingers through my hair. Sparks fly. But I know it's only in my head. I'm the only one feeling this connection. She never felt the same way about me.
"I am in love with Alex Sky. I love him. And this feeling... this feeling of being so.. sure about something.. I guess it's true love, Ray. Alex just does not know that yet."
Her caressing hands on my cheeks. Her beautiful face. Her beautiful smile.
"I have to let him know."
I watch as she walks back Alex's house. And I wanted so badly to shield her from the pain she's about to get. But it's hopeless- I am hopeless. I watch Katey walk away as tears fall down - right there where her hands have touched my face.