With out love where would you be now?

I ran my fingers over the pictures of my baby.

Sara: what a cute little fetus.

Matt laughed a little.

Matt: Sara...I'm really glad you let me come.

I nodded and kept looking at the images on the paper.

Matt: here's Johnny's.

Sara: come in with me please.

He sat silent for a moment.

Matt: sure.

We walked up to the house. I knocked.

Mrs. S: Sara. How are you doing?

Sara: everything is great.

I held out the pictures. She smiled widely.

Mrs.S: beautiful...really it is. You look amazing as well. Nice to see
you Matt.

Matt: hello.

Sara: I am gaining weight like crazy.

Mrs.S: ofcourse. You are having a baby. I'm sorry about not letting
Johnny go. He wanted to go despretly. He even tried to sneak out.

I smiled a little and nodded.

Mrs.S: he's up in his room.

She handed me the pictures back. Me and Matt made our way up.

Matt: dude I'm excited I can't wait to see the look on his face.

Sara: what if he-

Matt: he can't freak out he already knows you're pregnant and he's the
dad.

I nodded slowly. I entered the room.

Johnny: Sara!

He ran over and hugged me.

Johnny: hey Matt what's up? How was it? What did I miss?

Matt: ask Sara.

He looked at me and I handed him the pictures. His eyes went wide.

Johnny: this is our baby...

He said quietly and sitting on his bed.

Sara: yeah that's our baby.

I looked at Matt. He was watching Johnny with a small sad smile.

Johnny: we have a beautiful baby.

He kissed my cheek.

Sara: that's your copy baby.

He nodded and kept looking at it.

Sara: but I need to get home. I will call you later.

Johnny: alright.

He said with a pout.

Johnny: I will be over later.

He narrowed his eyes and glanced from side to side making a sneaky
face.

Sara: planning to sneak out are we?

Johnny: shhhh...yes. I need to be with my pancakes.

I shook my head a little. He leaned forward and kissed my lips.

Sara: I will see you later.

He nodded and walked us to the door.

Matt: see mexi fry.

Sara: I know I was just nervous and I don't know why.

He warped an arm around me.

Matt: so home now?

I nodded.

Sara: MAMA! Come see the baby!

My mom came rushing, nearly knocking Matt over.

Mom: oh....mija que bonito. ( oh baby how beautiful.)

She smiled widely and kissed me.

Mom: hola Matt. Sorry about almost knocking you down.

Matt: its ok Rosa. Well I better get going.

Sara: why?

He shrugged. I grabbed his hand and drug his ass to my room. I sat him
on my bed and looked at him. My hands on my hips and a determined mind.

Matt: what?

Sara: I wish you weren't so sad. My Matty, the old Matty was never a
sad brute.

I wrapped my arms around him. A sigh left his lips. Causing his warm
breath to meet my cheek.

Sara: why have you been so down?

He looked away and shrugged. I reajusted so my arms were around his
middle and one of his arms was drapped around me lazily.

Sara: I actually don't know what to say to make you feel better.

He looked at me. His eyes dull and dark. Something forign to me when it
came to him. I touched his face. Running my fingers down his cheek to
his lip ring. I felt this was the only way to comfurt him. By touch. My
hand went to his other cheek and down his chin to his arm. I grabbed
his hand.

Sara: everything is going to be ok. It always is.

He let go of my hand and cupped my face.

Matt: why do you do this?

Sara: huh?

Matt: this...all that you do?

I shook my head in cofusion. He looked at me intensly.

Sara: what do I do?

Matt: drive me insane.

He kissed me lovingly on the lips. Pulling away so our noses and
foreheads were touching. His eyes were closed.

Matt: I can't. I hate this whole situation.

Sara: what do you mean?

Matt: you and Johnny. The baby. It fucks with me to know he has
everything I wanted. That he got it so easily. He didn't even have to try.

His hands went to my sides and he kissed me again. The sad look on his
face more visible than ever.

Matt: you can't tell me you don't love me.

He said so quietly. His voice sounding shaky. His eyes were glossing
over. I had to look away. All these intense feelings flowing between us.
Ofcourse I did. I always had. He gently grabbed my face and made me
look at him. Another soft kiss placed on my lips. He put a hand on my
stomach.

Sara: Matty you waited to long to tell me all of this...

Matt: if we knew how we felt you would of thought we never had to tell
each other.

Sara: that's just it Matt. You never let me know. Now its too late.

Matt: you don't love me then.

Sara: Matt...you will always be loved by me. No matter what. You know
that. From when we first met, to when you were with Val, and even now.

Matt: but...

Sara: no buts. I love Johnny.

I wiped his eyes before the tears could fully leave his eyes. I laid
back. He looked at me.

Sara: you took to long to tell me words that mean the world to me. That
I have always shown to you through our friendship.

Matt: used to show me.

I reached up and ran my hand down his face. His hand was still on my
stomach.

Matt: Sara Sanchez I love you, I love you more than you will ever know.

His voice going horse. I felt my cheeks get hot. Those words. Words I
will never forget.

Sara: show me.

He stared at me a bit shocked at my response. He proped himself above
me and placed a soft almost nonexisting kiss on my lips. We sat in
silence for a long time. I loved Matt. I could never deny it. But I love
Johnny. I know Johnny is right for me. No words can explain how I know
that.

Guy: Matthew Charles Sanders, you know better than to be all over my...

We looked at the familiar face standing at my bedroom door. Both our
mouths were slightly open. I pushed Matt off of me. To make sure of who I
was actually seeing.

Guy: little sister. What are you doing all over her?

Matt: we uhh...I was just talking to her.

As he questioned Matt. I was trying fully take in my brother standing
right infront of me.

Bro: so is he the boyfriend everyone has been talking about?

I couldn't say anything. He on the other hand seemed to be a bit angry.

Bro: is he? I've also been hearing someother shit that I don't even
want to bring up.

My hands went to my stomach as he said that. And when I did so I saw a
wave of disappointment wash over him. He then looked at Matt and as he
was about to say something.

Johnny: pancakes I'm here! Do you know how much I've missed your tou-

He went silent at the sight of the strange guy in my room.

Bro: who the fuck is this shit?

Sara: Mondo this is Johnny, Johnny this is my older brother Mondo.

Johnny eyed my brother up and down. Mondo perked a brow.

Bro: what exactly did you miss from her?

Johnny looked at me then at Matt.

Johnny: just hanging out with her. We've been on tour so I haven't
really seen her since we've been back.

Mondo looked at him funny.

Bro: what do you do in the band?

Johnny: bass.

He nodded then looked back at me.

Bro: let's try this again. Hey.

He said with a smile and open arms. I hugged him and let my eyes do
there thing.

Bro: what's up?

Sara: so many things.

I bit my lip and hugged him again. He kept an arm around me and looked
at the two boys infront of us.

Bro: so Matt. Why were you all over Sara?

Johnny snapped his head towards Matt. A slight glare on his face.

Bro: what's with the mean look there small shit.

He didn't respond.

Bro: hey I'm talking to you.

Johnny: he just...shouldn't be all over Sara. No one should.

Bro: no he shouldn't. So tell me Matt, what's going on between you and
my sister. Are you guys together cause I will kick your ass or are you
being stupid and with that blonde chick.

Matt: niether.

Bro: hmm...dumb shit. And you? Johnny right?

Johnny: yeah. What?

Bro: you into my sister?

Johnny: yeah I am.

No. No. No. Wrong answer.

Bro: really now? How old are you?

Johnny: really. What does it matter how old I am.

Bro: cause you look like you're about twelve.

Johnny shrugged.

Bro: are you her boyfriend?

Mom: surprise Sara! Johnny?

Dad: what are you doing here?

Johnny: I came to see MY pancakes.

Bro: you're pancakes?

He looked at me. I sighed.

Sara: Mondo...meet Johnny my boyfriend.

Bro: what? He's a kid! He looked like he just entered high school.

Matt: its cause he did.

Which was intended for only him but was heard by all of us. I looked at
Matt.

Mondo: what? You're a freshman?

Johnny: yeah.

Mondo: you let her date a kid?

Mom: she's old enough to make her own choices.

He shook his head.

Mondo: you, you, me, and maybe even you need to talk.

He pointed at me then Johnny and finally Matt.

Mom: I will just go then.

She walked out. She was my only hope of not getting beaten.

Mondo: ok. Let's take a look at the situation at hand.

He gave us all a stern look. One he had picked up from the military.

Mondo: this kid is your boyfriend. But I came in here and Matt was
hovering over you.

I felt my face getting hot. Johnny was giving Matt a look.

Mondo: was something going on that no one is supposed to know about?

He crossed his arms in an authoritive manor. I just looked at him wide
eyed. Because I knew no matter what I said he wouldn't like.

Mondo: well?

I put my hands on my stomach. It made me feel a bit at ease. My brother
knelt in front of me. He looked at me softly. All I could do was nod a
little. He hugged me tightly.

Mondo: so its true...I never thought you of all people would let that
happen.

Sara: don't be mad at me.

I said not looking him in the eye.

Mondo: its hard not to be. You are fucking your whole future up. And
you can't disagree. What about school? Now what? You're just going to be
a mom?

My eyes got watery.

Mondo: don't cry. You did this to your self.

I nodded.

Mondo: you are stupid you know that. Fucking up your life. So which
fucker did it?

I didn't say a word.

Mondo: come on. Don't play stupid.

I glanced at Johnny. I knew he couldn't take a beating from my brother.
Cause that's what was going to happen. My brother will find out, get
pissed, and beat him up. He did it to Zack and he'll do it to Johnny.

Matt: me.