With out love where would you be now?

Mom: bien. Como te fue en escuela? (good. How was school?)

Sara: ehh tu sabes. Odio la escuela. (you know. I hate school.)

Mom: si ya se. Necesito tu ayuda en la cocina. (yes I know. I need your
help in the kitchen.)

I nodded and got up.

Mom: andale Yoni. Levantate flojo. (come on Yoni. Get up lazy.)

He looked at her blankly. I nodded towards the kitchen.

Johnny: oh...

We walked into the kitchen. Me and mom got to cooking while Johnny sat
at the table watching.

Johnny: what are you making Rosa?

Mom: I'm making rice.

Johnny: my favorite.

My mom always likes when the guys come over. She may not say it but she
loves feeding them. She likes it when people enjoy her food. And the
guys always enjoy her food.

Johnny: any beans?

Mom: pues si. (ofcourse)

Johnny smiled. We all talked while cooking. My dad showed up with Sofi
and that's when the fun started.

Dad: I saw Matt at the store a bit ago.

Sara: and?

Dad: well arnt you like best friends?

Sara: well...I guess...

Sofi: they arnt talking.

Sara: how do you know that?

Sofi: I guessed.

She smiled and went back to her homework. Little brat gets nothing but
A's in school.

Mom: que paso? (what happened?)

Sara: nothing happened.

Lies.

Dad: look Rosa she doesn't want to talk about it. Now let's eat.

Johnny: yeah let's.

Dinner was like it always is at my house. Full of conversation. I
helped my mom with the dishes. While my dad talked with Johnny.

Mom: is Johnny staying the night?

Sara: I don't know ask him.

Mom: por que no andas hablando con Matt? (why arn't you talking to
Matt?)

Sara: no mas por que no. (just because)

Mom: es la novia verdad. Mija tu savias que eso lliva a pasar. (its
because of his girlfriend huh. Babe you knew that was going to happen.)

Sara: no era problema antes. Pero algo cambio. El cambio. (it wasn't a
problem before. Something changed. He changed)

Mom: cosas pasan. Alamejor la novia se puso selosa. Y le dijo que no te
pudia mirar. Acabo tu eres la mejor amiga no amigo. ( things happen.
Maybe his girlfriend got jelous and told him he couldn't see you
anymore. Afterall you are his best girlfriend not guyfriend.)

Sara: selosa de que? Yo soy chapparrita y gordita. No soy guera y tengo
ojos cafes. No puede ser eso.( jelous of what? I'm short and chubby.
I'm not blonde and I have brown eyes. So it can't be that.)

Mom: eso no tiene nada que ver. Tu conoses a Matt mas bien que ella. Tu
sabes todo de ese muchacho. Lo que le gusta, no le gusta. Tu eres como
la otra mujer por que tu lo tenias primero.
( that has nothing todo with it. You know Matt better than she does.
You know everything about that boy. What he does and doesn't like. You
are like the other woman. Because you had him 1st.)

Sara: they've been going out forever mom. Its just all of a sudden he's
been acting this way.

Mom: maybe he likes you.

I stared at her like she was crazy.

Sara: that's just not possible.

Mom: y por que no?
(and why not?)

Sara: cause its not. I mean come on, Matt like me? Yo creo que no mas
se subio a su macho y piensa que es rey por su grupo. Se le olvida sus
amigos. (I think that he got on his high horse and thinks he's a king
all because of his band. He forgets his friends.)

Mom: alamejor tu eres la selosa. (maybe your the jelous one.)

Sara: yo? La selosa? De que? (me? the jelous one? Of what?)

Mom: you are complaining about him ignoring you.

I shook my head at her ridicoulousness.

Sara: I have nothing to be jelous about.

Mom: maybe your jelous of his girlfriend.

I looked her.

Sara: because why?

Mom: she has your friend and you don't.

She continued with the dishes.

Mom: ya no te necesito. (I don't need you anymore)

She shooed me away. I grabbed Johnny and went to my room.

Johnny: so what do you want to do?

Sara: not sure.

I looked out my window across the street to Matt's house. Processing
what my mom had said.

Johnny: maybe I should go?

Sara: you don't have to. Its cool if you stay.

Johnny: I don't have any clothes. I might come by later.

I stood up and pulled him into a hug.

Sara: I consider us best friends too Yoni.

A smile spread across his face. We made out briefly then he left. I
changed into some grey booty shorts with hearts and lightning bolts. I
then put on a alice in chains shirt. I put some music on. Then frowned.

Sara: where did I put that nirvana cd?

I rumaged through all my drawers. Under my bed. Nothing.

Sara: this is retarded. It has to be in here. Maybe my dad has it...

Yeah my dad listens to nirvana amongst other kickass bands like that. I
walked into the living room. My dad was watching the mexican soaps
with my mom.

Sara: hey dad. Do you have my nirvana cd?

Dad: no I don't. I asked for it the other day and you said you didn't
have it.

I thought for a moment.

Sara: where did I leave it?

Dad: I think you said something about letting someone borrow it.

I frowned. Who did I lend it to? I then headed for my front door.

Mom: donde vas? (where are you going?)

Sara: to get my cd.

I walked out of my house and across the street. Hmmm the front door or
window? I didn't feel like climbing. So front door it is. I walked in.

Sara: hello?

His mom came around the corner a smile on her face.

Mrs.S: hello Sara. Nice seeing you.

Sara: nice seeing you too. I just came to pick up a cd I let Matt
borrow.

Mrs.S: oh well go ahead. He should be up there.

I nodded and walked upstairs. I busted through the door. Only to hear
Matt scream and quickly rewrap his towel around himself. I think I might
have seen an ass cheek. I laughed.

Sara: I...can't...believe...you... scremed!

I said between laughing. I was using the door for support.

Matt: you surprised me. Most people knock before walking into someones
room.

Sara: surprised my ass you got scared. And I've never knocked on your
door.

Matt: what if I was naked.

Sara: well technically you are.

He gripped the towel tighter and shook his head while smiling.

Sara: its no biggy I've seen your baby pictures. I know what you
got...actually more like don't got.

I laughed and he glared a little.

Matt: hey I was little. Things have changed.

He said deffensivly. Then there was a silence. I looked around his
room. It looked the same. Manly and Matt like. With his smell. My eyes
landed on some pictures. I picked them up. I looked through them.

Sara: I don't remember these Matt. We were so young.

Matt: my mom found them and gave them to me.

He came and sat next to me. He was still hot from the shower.

Matt: oh that's from summer before freshman year. Remember? We all
went to the beach. Zacky almost fell in the fire.

I laughed remembering.

Sara: oh look me and you. Awww bff.

Matt: yeah...goodtimes.

Sara: for sure.

Matt: that was a few days before you hooked me and Val up.

He wrapped an arm around me. A smile on his face.

Sara: oh yes. Now I remember well.

I said while putting the pictures back. I heard Matt sigh but ignored
it.

Matt: what did you want Sara?

Sara: my nirvana cd.

Matt: oh.

He got up and walked over to his dresser. I followed and watched him
dig around. Pulling out clothes in the process.

Sara: I've never noticed but you keep weird shit in your drawers.

I grabbed a slinky.

Matt: you should see Zack's he had a mayo packet.

I made a face.

Sara: why is my cd in there anyway?

Matt shrugged.

Matt: aha! There you go.

Sara: thanks.

I grabbed it and headed out.

Matt: wait.

I turned around.

Matt: do you maybe want to see a movie?

I walked over to his bed and sat on it.

Matt: is that a yes?

Sara: no, I mean yeah but not long. Johnny is coming over later.

Matt: oh. Well let me get dressed and we can watch some tv.

I just nodded. He went into his bathroom. I got up and went to his cd
rack. I grabbed a cd and managed to knock about half of them on the
floor. He came stomping out.

Matt: what the fuck was that?

Sara: I dropped your cds. Sorry?

Matt made a face. I started picking up the mess.

Matt: just leave it. They will end up there eventually.

I nodded and sat back down.

Sara: how things between you and Val?

He shrugged and laid on his back.

Sara: what does that shrug mean?

He shruggHe shrugged yet again.

Sara: are you good? Happy? Sad? Feeling like a turtle?

He smiled at me.

Matt: like a turtle?

Sara: yeah you know. Confined. Stuck in a shell.

Matt: oh...I don't know.

Sara: you don't know? Well niether do I Matt.

Matt: so how about you and this mystery guy? How's that working out for
you?

Sara: good.

Matt: is he nice? Does he treat you well?

I nodded.

Matt: so...who is he?

Sara: I'm not going to tell you?

Matt: will you ever?

I shrugged.

Sara: so are you gonna take Val on tour with you?

He shrugged. To much shrugging was going on.

Sara: when are you gonna get another tat?

Yet another shrug. I was getting tiered of it.

Sara: we never had problems talking before. Well I actually don't have
the problem. You do.

He looked at me.

Sara: right...I'm just gonna go.

I got up.

Matt: what why?

Was he serious.

Sara: Johnny...

Matt: oh right... Tell him I said hi.

I nodded and left. I walked to my house. My moms car wasn't there. That
meant they all left. I saw Johnny coming down the street.

Sara: hey babe.

Johnny: hey Sara.

Sara: gonna sleep over or just stay the night.

He smiled as we entered my empty house.

Johnny: both. Where is everyone.

Sara: hell if I know. Let's go to my room.

Johnny dropped his stuff and laid down on my bed.

Johnny: I love your outfit.

Sara: if I didn't know you I'd say you're a sleazy old man.

He chuckled. I put in the nirvana cd and picked up my room a bit. It
was around 5.

Johnny: what did you go to Matt's for?

Sara: get my cd.

Johnny: you guys cool now?

I shrugged.

Sara: you wanna go do something?

Johnny: like what?

Sara: go see a movie or something.

Johnny: how are we gonna get there?

Sara: driving. We can take my dad's truck.

Johnny: can we just rent movies?

Me and Johnny had a lazy weekend. Filled with movie watching, good
eats, among other activities. Matts party was the coming weekend and I
didn't have a costume. It was no biggy. A lot of people were talking about
the party the whole week. I didn't really care. I know it was for my
birthday. And I should be greatful. I walked out to Jenn's car.

Jenn: hey cochina. Have you found a costume yet?

Sara: no, you?

Jenn: yeah I'm gonna be a pirate.

Sara: cool. Johnny told me he is going to be a super cross racer.

Jenn: that will be so hot.

She whispered. I nodded.

Sara: he said he want talk to you about it. Cause you know about that
shit.

Jenn: I'll try not to rape him.

Sara: try is all you can do.

Zacky: where are we going for lunch?

Jenn: where ever I fuckin' feel like.

Jimmy: I have the perfect costume! Jenn you will be proud.

Jenn: what is it Jimbee?

Jimmy: I am going to be a German tourist. Complete with leiderhousin.

Jenn: that is fucking amazing!

Jimmy nodded. Johnny showed up and we left for lunch. Once again with
out Matt and Brian.

Johnny: so Sara your costume is what again?

Sara: I already told you I don't know and chew and swallow before you
speak young man.

Jenn: seriously. I mean its fucking disgusting to see shit come flying
out of your mouth while your yapping away like a fucking parrot.

The guys laughed. Jenn shook her head.

Johnny: anyways...so you haven't the slightest idea of what to be?

Sara: nope.

I said while taking a bite of my food.

Johnny: how bout a hooker?

Jenn: she already is one...

I rolled my eyes while the oooed.

Johnny: fine a dead one then.

Sara: no thanks... I think I have an idea of what I'm going to be.

Jenn: probley something slutty for your man...

She said with a smirk and quickly glancing at Johnny.

Zacky: man? You have a man? Who is this man?

Jimmy: I've been trying to find out for a week and a half now. And I
have a lead.

Sara: really and it leads where exactly?

Jimmy: well obviously to you.

Jenn: oh Jimbee.

Jimmy: I wasn't finished. It leads to you obviously and none of us know
who it is. Yes I have been discussing this with the guys.

Sara: why?

Jimmy: cause...I've wanted to.

Sara: ok?

Jimmy: anyways... So it has to be someone in the group.

Sara: and why is that Jimmy?

Jimmy: well because it has to be someone close to keep it so hard from
me finding out.

Sara: or it could be someone from outside the school.

Jimmy sat back. He had not taken that into consideration.

Jimmy: now I have to rethink everything.

I nodded and winked at Johnny. He smiled to himslef. After lunch me and
Jenn dropped the guys off and ditched our last classes.

Jenn: where to?

Sara: store?

Jenn: ah you know what your costume is going to be right?

I nodded.

At the party.

Me and Jenn walked up the steps to Matt's house.

Jenn: ok one last check is the outfit in place?

I nodded.

Sara: the guys are going to be drooling over your boobs.

She was wearing a pirate costume which consisted of knee high leather
boots, black tight pants, off the shoulder v cut white long sleeved
Shirt. And a big black bitched hat with a big ass navy blue feather.

Sara: ok now me. Is everything good?

I spun around.

Jenn: your skirt is fine.

I was a can can dancer, corset type top, thigh high fishnets, and black
heels.

Sara: ok good. Ready?

Jenn: hell yeah free booze hot guys. What are we still doing out here?

I laughed as I opened the door. I was greeted by random people. I just
smiled and nodded.

Sara: do you see any of the guys anywhere?

I yelled because Guns 'n' Roses was blasting through out the house.

Jenn: I'm sure if we go to the kitchen we will find at least one of
them.

I nodded. We linked arms and pushed through the people. The kitchen was
full of people.

Jenn: ZACKY!

Zacky looked over and stopped mid drink to check us out. He made his
way over.

Zacky: nice. Very nice.

Sara: thanks.

Jenn: you make a very sexy cowboy.

Zacky: yeah I know. I kinda feel like Axle Rose in these chaps.

We laughed a little.

Jenn: he's a bit skinnier than you.

Zacky pouted.

Zacky: I'm not fat...

Jenn: your right just you know dough boy size.

Zacky: you suck.

Jenn: I'm just adressing the issue. I am the real friend here. The
other assholes ignore it. I can help you.

Zacky: oh yeah well I may be fat but that can go away. You, you will
always be meany.

Jenn gasped and looked completly offended.

Jenn: that is so mean, Zacky.

Zacky: yeah well you hurt my feelings. Big meany.

She gasped again.

Jenn: can believe what he just said to me?

Sara: yeah I heard the whole thing.

Jenn: and you didn't do anything to stop it.

Sara: no. It wasn't my argument.

Two hands then covered my eyes. I smiled.

Johnny: guess who birthday girl...

He whispered in my ear. He uncovered my eyes and turned me so I faced
him.

Johnny: I got you something...

Sara: I told you didn't have to.

Johnny: but I made it.

He pulled out a paper and handed it to me. I looked at it. He made me a
birthday card.

Johnny: open it. Open it.

He was so excited. I did as told. Inside was a flower that had been
dried and pressed. I smiled as I read it.

Sara: thanks Johnny. I really like the flower.

I kissed his cheek and hugged him.

Zacky: my present is better.

Jenn: doubt it. Johnny's present is cute. He even drew a heart and
everything.

Zacky rolled his eyes. Then pulled out a bottle of JD.

Johnny: that is way better than my gift.

We laughed a little.

Zacky: told you! Even the gnome thinks so.

Jenn: pop that bitch open.

Zacky: psh and have random ass fuckers drink it? I don't think so.

Jenn: good point.

Johnny: did I mention you guys look hot?

Sara and Jenn: no.

Johnny: well you do.

Jenn: your pretty hot there yourself Johnny.

Johnny: well I had help...thanks.

Jenn: no problem.

Sara: where are the rest of the guys?

Zacky: around.

I nodded.

Sara: care to dance Johnny?

Johnny: sure.

We walked out to where the dancing was taking place. Which seemed to be
the living room. He put his hands on my hips and we moved to the
music.

Sara: did you walk here babe?

Johnny: no, I got a ride from Zack.

Sara: that's good. Looks like Jenn really hooked it up with the
costume.

Johnny: yeah she told me what the best shit would be.

Sara: well you look good.

Johnny: you too.

Sara: that's my ass Johnny.

Johnny: my bad.

He said with a smile.I shook my head a little. We danced for a bit.

Johnny: let's get a drink.

I nodded and he led us to the kitchen. Jenn was talking with Brian,
Zacky, and Jimmy.

Sara: hey bitches.

Jimmy: happy birthday!

Sara: thanks.

Jimmy: I got you a pair of drum sticks. That way you don't have to
steal mine or Jenn's.

Sara: thanks Jimmy. Maybe it will motivate me to learn to play.

Jenn: back off that's my insturment. I mean for fucks sake you play
everything else.

I shrugged.

Brian: happy year of being older.

Sara: thanks. Happy lifetime of being ugly.

He just shook his head.

Johnny: here you go.

He handed me a beer.

Matt: do your parents know what you are up to young lady?

I turned and saw Matt with Val.

Sara: nice costume Val.

Val: thanks you look amazing.

I smiled.

Sara: let me guess Dracula's pray?

She nodded with a smile.

Sara: Matt you really could be the next Dracula.

He smiled.

Val: happy birthday.

She hugged me. Then Matt almost killed me with his so called hug.

Matt: happy 18th fuckin' birthday. I got you a cake.

Sara: cool. What kind?

Matt: chocolate.

He said proudly.

Sara: thanks for the party Matt. Nothing like celebrating your birthday
with people I don't know, don't really like, and don't care about me.

He laughed as he hugged me again.

Matt: no problem.

Sara: how much have you drank?

Val: ugh you don't even want to know. He started before the party even
started.

Sara: yeah. He has his drunk smile plastered on his face.