With out love where would you be now?

Poor Johnny. Fucking Matt and his weirdness. I can't believe he hit my
Johnny. And for what? He didn't do anything wrong. He just assumed
Jimmy was right. Even though he is.

Sara: you ok sweetheart?

Johnny: I bink sbo.

He said sounding a bit stuffed up. The bleeding had stopped. Thank
goodness. I thought the poor boy was going to bleed to death. I smiled
sympathetically.

Sara: let's clean you up.

He nodded while he stood up.

Jenn: what the fuck happened to you?

I gave her a look.

Jenn: oh...

Zacky: holy shit Johnny! Your whole face is covered in blood!

Brian: damn. Its like a horror movie in here.

Sara: come on Johnny into the bathroom.

He sat on the toilet while I got a towel wet.

Sara: no puedo crer que iso eso. (I can't believe he did that.)

I growled in frustraition.

Sara: no tenia el deretcho aser eso. El no corre mi vida. El cabron. (
He had no right. He doesn't run my life. The asshole.)

When I looked at Johnny my anger seemed to go away. He sat there
humming, bobing his head, a smile on his cute face. Amazing. Kid gets punched
in the fuckin' face, he has no idea why and he seems to give a shit.
He stopped bobing his head and humming. But he still had the smile on
his face.

Johnny: I'm ok, pancakes.

I smiled at how cute he is. I started cleaning his face. He winced a
bit when I got close to his nose.

Sara: he is such a dick.

Johnny: all guys are at some point.

I nodded and rinsed the towel. I shook my head as the red water went
down the drain.

Johnny: did he go home?

Sara: yeah I asked him to leave.

Johnny: oh.

Sara: arnt you wondering why he hit you?

Johnny: does it matter? Its not like its going to take it back. I
probley deserved it.

Sara: you didn't deserve it.

Jimmy: he hit you cause of what I said.

Jimmy and Jenn were standing in the door way.

Jimmy: I didn't know he would do that. Its my fault.

Johnny: its nobodys fault. I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding.

Jimmy: I said you were Sara's boy.

Johnny looked at me then back at Jimmy.

Jimmy: its not like I was sure. He just assumed I right. Sorry. You
know me I say shit and don't realize it.

Johnny: its cool. This isn't the first or last time this has happened.

Jenn: you are to cool Johnny. You are the best little man I know.

Johnny: I'm taller than you.

Jenn: by like an inch or two.

The next few days I spent christmas shopping. I hate christmas. Its the
dumbest holiday ever. Don't get me wrong I like the decorations, the
lights, and shit. But its so damn materiallistic. I never ask for
anything anymore. I hate being a part of that bullshit part of christmas. I
hadn't talked to Matt. And I really didn't feel like it. But as always
something makes have togo talk to him. In this case its school work.
When I got back from the mall I went to Matt's. His car was there but
that doesn't mean much. He could have been picked up. I knocked on the
door. His mom answered looking puzzled.

Mrs.S: why did you knock honey?

Sara: I have no idea.

Mrs.S: ok then... Matt's moping upstairs. I'm sure you can cheer him
up.

She smiled and walked into the kitchen. I went up the stairs. Not
really wanting to see him. Ugh. Life is unfair. Metallica's enter sandman
greeted my ears as I reached his door. I could hear him singing. I
deciced to knock. After what happened last time.

Matt: I don't want to be bothered!

He yelled over the music. I knocked again.

Matt: leave me the hell alone!

I rolled my eyes and opened the door slowly. I popped my head in. He
was sitting on his bed shirtless in basketball shorts. Scribbling on a
piece of paper. He didn't notice so I walked in quietly. Closing the door
behind me. He sighed when he heard the click of the door.

Matt: I told you leave me - Sara?

He smiled a little. I waved.

Sara: hey.

I felt a bit akward. He was staring at me.

Sara: what are you working on?

Matt: uhh...yeah the project.

I sat on the corner of his bed. There was a weird tension in the room.

Sara: can I read?

He handed me the paper. Damn. It was good.

Matt: what do you think?

Sara: wow.

A small smile spread across his lips.

Sara: now I just need to paint something to match this.

Matt: that should be easy.

I reread it. He really thought about this. I handed it back.

Sara: its good. So your half is done. Now its my turn.

Matt: I was thinking maybe we could get some chords down and you could
sing it or something.

Sara: me? You're the singer. You can sing it. I mean you wrote it. I'm
just painting. I thought we weren't going todo anything major.

Matt: I was just thinking.

I nodded.

Matt: well your stuff is all in your drawer. So you can take it and go.

Sara: I was just gonna stay here and work on it, but since you're
trying to kick me out.

Matt: no. You can stay if you like. You can always stay. You know that.
I just thought that since you know...you wouldn't want to stay.

Sara: I don't want to. I kinda have to.

Matt: you don't have todo anything you don't want to.
I would understand if you wanted to leave.

I just walked over to my drawer and started getting set up. I glanced
over and saw him watching me intently.

Matt: Is everything in there? Cause I'm pretty sure I put it all in
there.

Sara: its all in here.

Matt: do you need help taking it to your house?

I turned and gave him a funny look.

Matt: ok. You could have said no. You didn't have to give me that
shitty look.

He glared at me slightly. I put my stuff on the floor.

Matt: what are you doing?

I looked up at him.

Sara: working on the project. I was thinking lots of reds some black.
What do you think?

Matt: I'm thinking that you are to good to me.

We sat there looking at each other.

Sara: I'm thinking that too.

Matt: I don't even know what came over me.

Sara: I don't either. I can't always give you the answer.

Matt: I know you can't.

I got up and sat next to him.

Sara: its my turn to get answers then... Why did you punch Johnny?

He sighed and looked me in the eye.

Matt: cause it actually bothered me to think he might be the one all
over you like that.

Sara: why?

Matt: because its weird. He's a freshman.

Sara: so?

Matt: I just didn't like it. It bothered me.

Sara: fair enough. But you didn't have to hit him.

Matt: I know. I feel bad for clocking him.

Sara: he was fine. Infact he was humming cheerfully while he waited for
me to clean him up.

He shook his head while smiling.

Matt: stupid tough little shit.

Sara: yeah. Now. About the colors-

Matt: is he though?

Sara: what?

Matt: are you and Johnny...

I just stared at him.

Matt: I didn't think so. Fuck I really am a jerk.

There he goes assuming and here I go not telling him again.

Matt: so what did you get me for christmas.

Sara: equipment.

He smiled.

Matt: you mean you got me new mics and amps and shit.

Sara: that's exactly what I'm saying afterall I don't have a budget.

He rolled his eyes. I got up and changed the radio. The tension was
leaving slowly. It always does. I skimmed through the chanels.

Matt: why don't you put in a cd.

Sara: you don't have what I feel like listening to right now.

Matt: oh? And what is that?

I put it on a rap staition. No diggty by blackstreet was on. I love
this song. I started bumpin' my head to the beat. I turned and looked at
Matt a smile on my face.

Sara: I like the way you work it. No diggty. Got to bag it up.

I sang along and started dancing.

Matt: you like the way I work it?

He said jokingly.

Sara: hell yes Matty.

Matt: change it.

Sara: fine I will. But to another rap staition.

I laughed as jay z's voice filled the room. I instantly started dancing
again. He smiled as I danced around bymyself like an idiot.

Sara: laugh all you want Matt, you know you like to watch me dance.

Matt: yes I do.

I smirked and danced up to him. I was dancing close to him. Swaying my
hips.

Matt: this is dangerous you know...

Sara: how? There's nothing wrong with dancing with your friend.

Matt: or for them...

His hands found there way to my hips and he pulled me so I was dancing
between his legs. I didn't think nothing of it because I meant nothing
by it. He had other things in mind. Dangerous was not even close to
what came next. He stood up and pulled me to him. I looked up at him
confused. His eyes staring at my lips.

Sara: Matt...

I said warningly. His gripped tightened around me. The music playing in
the background blocking out sound. His lips met mine and my eyes
instantly shut. How could I be doing this. All the problems that are to
follow. Its all my fucking fault. Yet I'm not doing anything to stop it. I
am the worst person I know at this very moment. Matt pulled away. He
scanned my whole body. His hands travelled to my face. His thumb ran over
my bottom lip.

Matt: they are exactly how I rememberd them.

Sara: Matt we can't.

Matt: too late. We are.

He kissed me again. His hands roamed. While my arms wrapped around him.Our kisses became heated. Our clothes hit the floor. Our breathing erratic. Our sweat mixing. Our quiet moans drowned out by the music. Me being a whore. Me being a horrible person. A betrayer. Some friend...