I Love Your Switchblade Attitude

“I feel bad,” Harley muttered, shoving the spoon of vanilla ice cream into her mouth.

“Unf?” The blonde beside her replied, her mouth full of the delicious dessert. Colie swallowed quickly, before turning to look at her friend. “What do you mean?

The two best friends sat curled up on the couch, with a pint of Neapolitan ice cream between them, sulking in the afternoon sun. The air condition blasted cold air that leisurely circulated across the room while the murmurs of a reality show articulated from the television.

The day was hot, one of the hottest in Maryland that summer, and the idea of going out into the scalding sunshine sounded as promising as a rat walking right into a trap.

Harley sighed, before digging in the multi-coloured bucket once again, and bringing the cool dessert to her chapped lips. “I just, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything.”

Colie snorted, before stretching her legs out and turning the volume of the television down. “What the hell are you talking about? You managed to snag a new super hot, rich boyfriend in a couple of weeks. What more can you want?”

“Well,” Harley sighed, blowing a strand of hair that fell awkwardly into her face, “I haven’t talked to Rian in forever and it feels like we aren’t as close as we used to be. Also, what about Jack? He’s still mad at me for dating Max, and I feel like I don’t even know Zack anymore. I haven’t spent any time with my mother, and it still hurts when I see Alex and Lisa together. I’ve accomplished nothing, other than getting a possible boyfriend who only talks about himself, who won’t even make it official.”

Colie made a whining noise before grabbing the carton of ice cream and placing it in her lap. “Stop complaining,” she muttered, taking a generous spoonful, “I would kill to have a guy like Max. And since when has Rian been important to you? All you seem to do since you got here was complain about him, which in my opinion, I see no reason too, ‘cause he’s a great guy.”

“Do you like him or something?” Harley narrowed her eyes at her friend, who had suddenly taken great interest in the ice cream carton.

“What?! No. What are you talking about? Why would I like your brother?”

“I don’t know. It’s stupid. You just talk a lot about him, that’s all. So I had to assume—”

“Well, we’re here to talk about your problems not mine. If you want to hang out with Jack or Rian, why don’t you just go ask them to do something?” Harley looked at her like she was insane. “Ugh, just do it Harley. Call Jack or something.”

Colie got up, before sluggishly locating the cordless house phone resting on the coffee table. She dialled a number and handed it to Harley, muttering something about Jack.

Harley took it reluctantly, before placing it to her ear. Someone was mumbling incomprehensible words on the other side, and Harley had to concentrate to figure out what they were saying.

“Rian?” A deep voice muttered, and the sound of metal clattering to the floor followed by a quick “fuck” in the background made Harley’s ears ache. “I can’t seem to make these fucking pancakes. When it says ‘flip’ them, I didn’t have a spatula and had to use a spoon, but it didn’t work. You think I could just make pancake batter soup?”

Harley blinked in surprise, confused by the words suddenly spoken. “What?!”

An awkward silence filled the air, and Harley could hear Jack’s breathing through the phone. “Who is this?”

Harley frowned, confused by the statement. Jack definitely knew who it was. “Why are you making pancakes at lunch time?”

“Why are you calling me?” Jack retorted annoyed, revealing to Harley that he knew she was on the other line.

“Because...” Harley paused, and Jack waited expectantly. The sound of something sizzling on a frying pan echoed through the phone. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry, and that you were right.”

“What are you talking about?” The sound of sizzling stopped immediately, and it seemed as though Harley had finally captured Jack’s full attention.

Harley gave Jack the rap, telling him in detail about her failed date with Max, and how although she thought he was as interesting as a rock, she was still ‘dating’ him, and wished she wasn’t.

She reluctantly informed him about her big lie, and how Max had started out as a fake boyfriend and somehow turned into more, finally ending with her awkward lunch with Alex. Finally, after Harley had finished, she waited for Jack’s reply, but got none.

After an uncomfortable silence with only Jack’s rhythmical breathing to fill the air once again, he spoke, his voice full of uncertainty.

“So, what are you guys? Are you actually dating?” Harley let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, before clutching the phone tighter to her ear as she thought about her answer.

“I don’t even know!” Harley groaned loudly, leaning against the sofa arm as she pushed her hair back angrily. “We don’t have an official relationship, but we act like we’re dating, so who knows...”

“Well,” Jack made a strange noise of dissatisfaction in the back of his throat, “I still don’t approve.”

“You don’t have to,” Harley felt her voice rising in desperation, “I just...I miss you. I don’t even care if you continue to hate Max, but I really...I really miss having my best friend around.”

Jack chuckled slightly, causing hope to swell in Harley’s chest. “What about Colie?”

“She’s not as immature as you. Who else can make as trerrible dick jokes as you?”

“This is true.” It was almost as though Jack was nodding, and Harley couldn’t help but grin.

“Honestly, I’ve missed you too. But you have to make it up to me, you little fucker.”

“Make it up to you?” Harley asked incredulously, “Please don’t force me to do your laundry or something. I really don’t want to have to deal with scrubbing at a bunch of tighty-whities.”

“Please,” Jack laughed, “That’s what my Mom’s for. I do however have a sudden craving for some ice cream...if you get the hint.”

“Ugh, fine.” Harley pretended to be upset, but was already on the way to grab her mother’s car keys from the coffee table. “I’ll be there in ten.”

“Will do.” Jack laughed loudly before hanging up the phone, causing Harley to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment, and a feeling she just couldn’t place.

She was just glad to have her friend back.

_____________

The nearest ice cream shop was quaintly placed between Joe’s Laundr-o-mat and Maryland Psychic!, but that didn’t stop the ice cream from being top quality.

It was decorated like an old-fashioned ice cream parlour, with a large case displaying the various brightly coloured flavours of ice cream. Behind the counter sat an ancient soft-serve machine selling chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and a neon sign displaying prices and types of shakes screamed at customers from a distance.

Hard, metallic chairs and compact tables decorated the small checkered seating area, and a rack of spoons, napkins and multiple toppings was placed awkwardly at the left side of the restaurant.

Harley knew she shouldn’t be eating so much ice cream, hell, the small bulge that began to roll over the waistband of her jeans was enough evidence to prove this, but she couldn’t pass over the opportunity to spend time with Jack.

Jack was still the same, with about two days worth of stubble growing on his jaw, and dark shades shielding his eyes, even though the pair were inside a building. He was as enthusiastic and childish as ever.

He grabbed her wrist awkwardly and tugged her along, pointing excitedly and grinning widely at the variety of flavours offered in the small dessert shop. After an over-enthusiastic welcome, the server, a bubbly redhead with a nose piercing and ears too large for her head asked about their orders.

“Split a sundae?” Jack asked, pointing to the monstrosity that was the shop’s ‘grande’ sundae, complete with bananas, five scoops of ice cream in flavours of the customer’s choice, whip cream, chocolate sauce and cherries on top.

Just looking at the picture made Harley feel like she had gained a pound. Shrugging, Harley nodded and the paid for the giant dessert, before grabbing two spoons and heading to a table by the window.

Jack plopped down on the chair first, before promptly standing up and rubbing his behind.

“Ow! My ass!” He screeched, attracting the attention of the redheaded server. “You, ma’am, have the hardest fucking chairs in Maryland.” The redhead grinned apologetically, before muttering something about it being the manager’s fault.

Jack sat down, grumbling jokingly, before taking a spoon and digging into the sundae. The two ate in silence, with Jack devouring most of the sundae, before he finally placed his spoon down and stared at Harley until she noticed him.

“Yes?” She asked, whip cream falling off her spoon and landing in a pathetic pile back into the sundae bowl.

“You know what I think? About you and Max?” Jack asked suddenly, a serious tone in her voice that she had rarely heard before. Before Harley could even begin to object, hoping that the topic of her love life would stay out of their outing, Jack continued. “I think that you guys are completely wrong for each other. Call it intuition, but from the beginning of last summer when I first met you, it seemed like you and Alex were meant to be together; and it still does. I know you like Alex, but really, you’ve just got to fucking break up with Max and admit your feelings for Alex already.”

“It’s not that simple, Jack.”

A knowing smile formed on Jack's face. “Life isn’t simple, Harley, but we’ve all got to keep living.”

Harley sat in stunned silence, confused as to why Jack was giving her relationship advice, and telling her to get with his best friend. Harley hadn’t been away from Jack for that long. When had Jack gotten so philosophical?

____________________

The air was cold around her, which seemed impossible considering it was in the sweltering 90’s today. Jack had gotten her thinking, and Harley knew that she liked Alex. A lot.

She was being a coward, and really did need to admit her feelings to Alex. After all, she couldn’t keep all of these feelings bottled up inside her forever; she felt like she was going to burst.

After she had dropped Jack back to his house, Harley decided that she would stop by Alex’s house to tell him her true feelings, even if they were one-sided ones.

She knew that she was a coward; a personality trait that displayed itself ever since she had met Alex. Cowards ran away from situations; risk-takers didn’t. A risk-taker would have stayed on the bus last summer, even when things had gotten bad.

Harley wanted to prove to both herself and Alex that she could be a risk-taker, even if it meant that she would mess up their already-screwed-up relationship.

Harley stood on Alex’s porch step like an idiot, contemplating what she would say when she saw him.

Quickly, before the adrenaline of the situation left her body, she brought her knuckles to the glossy wood in front of her and knocked on the door harder than she was meant to, leaving a bruise on her knuckles and a lump in her throat.

Mentally, she was a mess, with thoughts of what she would say jumbling together. Alex...I love you, and I know you don’t love me back but I just wanted to say it to get it off my chest. No, that sounds too nonchalant. Alex, I love you and I know you love me to. No, too desperate. Alex, I’ve known you for a long time and I know we’ve had our ups and downs...too Hallmark. Sup Alex? I love you, you know? No, too...

The door swung open, bringing Harley out of her thoughts, and she took an alarmed step backward to prevent herself from getting hit in the face.

In front of her stood an annoyed Lisa, who as usual, looked perfect even with a scowl on her race. Adorning a messy bun that was no doubt formed on purpose to look that way, a tank top and daisy dukes, Lisa looked like something out of a summer catalogue.

“What do you want?” She snapped, a bored expression on her face as her gray-blue eyes narrowed at the sight in front of her.

“I, uh, I...” Harley knew she definitely couldn’t admit her feelings to Alex with his girlfriend right there and she mentally kicked herself for forgetting that Lisa lived with Alex anyway. Quickly, Harley was forced to improvise. “I, uh, came to see Rian. Is he here?”

“Yeah, in his bedroom.” Lisa swung open the door wide enough for Harley to step through, before slamming it and retreating up the stairs.

Harley followed her, assuming that she was leading her to Rian, but felt her heart drop in her throat as she watched Lisa go into another bedroom—one that from experience, she knew was Alex’s.

From the small space before Lisa closed the door, Harley could make out Alex’s dark figure, sprawled shirtless against the dark covers, a seductive smirk on his face. Harley immediately hated herself for being a coward, and watched helplessly as Lisa closed the door, preventing Harley from seeing what unknown experiences Lisa and Alex would enjoy together.

Sighing heavily and feeling defeated, Harley made her way to what she only assumed was Rian’s room, one of the two doors left in the narrow hallway. She knocked and entered, not bothering to care that her brother may have been doing something private.

He wasn’t anyway; he was lazily playing on his Xbox while a Blink-182 CD played in the background.

“It smells like a fucking meadow in here,” Harley whined, eyeing a bright green candle that flickered on Rian’s nightstand. Her brother was so weird. He ignored her comment, but looked and smiled hesitantly. He was surprised to see her.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, his eyes flickering to the television screen where his warrior had just screamed, as he died an agonizing death.

Realizing he had lost the game, Rian placed his Xbox controller down, before scooting over to make room on the bed. Harley sat down and instantly realized that she had missed the presence of Rian beside her.

There was something comforting about being in the presence of her sibling, may it be his pearly-white smile or protective, warm personality. It made her miss the time she had spent with him when they were younger.

“Can’t a girl visit her favourite brother?”

“I’m your only brother. And what do you want? I only have sixty bucks on me. I’ve got to go to the bank later today.”

“I don’t want your money,” Harley scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest. “I wanted to say hello.”

“Hello.” Rian mumbled, turning back to the television with disinterest evident in his features. The room was silent as Rian waited for Harley to say something, and when she didn’t he began to restart his video game.

Harley had so much to say to him, but she just couldn’t put it in words. Finally, she found herself mumbling in a desperate attempt to get her brother to talk to her, “I’m just glad to be your sister, and wanted to reconnect. I miss you.”

The air was filled with a dead silence as she waited for Rian to respond. She felt her chin quiver and the horrible feeling of restricted tears building up behind her eyelids. At first, she wasn’t sure if he had heard her, as he kept his eyes trained on television in front of him and continued to rapidly smash the buttons on his controller.

Slowly, however, his lips began to move, and if she strained her ears to hear, she swore that she heard him say something that warmed her heart.

“I’m glad to be your brother too.”