I Love Your Switchblade Attitude

“Harley?”

Harley didn’t even bother to look at the person who had continuously called her name, but instead continued to stare at the boy in front of her.

He hadn’t changed much, which was something that she hadn’t really expected. He was roughly the same height, with the same skin tone and big brown eyes.

His hair had been dyed a deep yellow, and was cut much shorter, framing his face beautifully. His mouth still adorned his signature smirk, but it slid off his face as soon as he saw her.

Peeking out from the collar of his shirt was a small figure in black ink, though it was unclear what the tattoo was.

He was dressed roughly the same, in a Glamour Kills t-shirt and skinny jeans, the only difference about his wardrobe being a thin key necklace hanging from his neck.

She watched him from afar, her surroundings completely forgotten as they drank each other in.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets awkwardly, ducking his head slightly as he spoke. He continued to stare, open-mouthed.

"Harley," he said slowly, blinking his wide eyes at her, "you... did you...you’re here."

She felt herself grimace involuntarily at his reaction, quickly remembering all the pain he had caused her the previous summer.

Her insides continued to twist, and her hands began to shake at her sides. She quickly grabbed her wrist and hid her hands behind her back, afraid that Alex would figure out her lack of confidence if he saw her shaking.

Instead, she tried to smile widely and ignore the internal battle she was fighting.

“H-hi Alex,” she choked out, forcing out a smile. So much for seeming cool.

He looked up at her then, and slowly smiled back, though it was one filled with apprehension.

“What...what are you doing here?” His eyes travelled to her suitcase, which was placed haphazardly beside her, before snapping back to her face. “You are...staying?” He winced slightly, but still attempted to keep up his nonchalant facade.

“Yeah,” Harley paused, a crimson blush coating the apples of her cheeks, “for the whole summer, actually.”

“Wow...” Alex trailed off, looking down at his shoes, before glancing at Rian and Jack. It was clear that their conversation had come to an awkward halt.

Harley followed Alex’s gaze, and took in the group around her. Rian was hugging his mother and talking rapidly, completely ignoring Harley’s presence now.

He had gotten slightly thinner, his brown hair still shaved in a buzz cut. His teeth were still a pearly white, and as he smiled widely at his mother and nodded his head,

Harley felt a pang of regret for leaving him and not working things out.

Her eyes then moved to Jack, who was watching the two cautiously, but curiously. His dark hair was sticking up messily atop his head, while an aloof grin played on his lips.

Next to him stood Zack, who was leaning against the wall talking to Colie. They looked comfortable talking to each other, and while her eyes briefly landed on the pair, they flew back to Jack, who had his arms crossed across his chest, clearly unsure whether he should interrupt.

“Jack!” Harley distracted herself from a further awkward conversation with Alex, and instead hurtled her body towards him, wrapping her arms around his scrawny frame.

He tumbled backwards, before letting out a girlish squeal and picking her up off the floor. She giggled into his chest, happy to be reunited with her friend.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Alex rub his neck awkwardly, before walking over to Harley’s mom to make small talk.

“Harley!” her mother screeched, causing her to flinch and separate herself from Jack.

“Yeah?” Harley drawled out, eying her mother, and Rian and Alex, hesitantly.

Alex was clearly uncomfortable being in the same room as her, but even as she knew that she should hate him, she began thinking about how good he looked.

“Say hello to your brother!” She smiled a sugary sweet smile, before glancing between her two children, “you haven’t seen each other in a year. This is so exciting!”

Rian grimaced as his mother turned her back, and Harley rolled her eyes before making a fake vomiting gesture.

“Why did you leave?” He asked, completely ignoring the fact that their mother was a mere five feet away chatting with Alex.

“I, uh, well...I guess I didn’t want to be there anymore.” Harley shrugged, looking down at the ocean blue carpet, avoiding her older brother’s gaze.

She didn’t bother saying anything else, because both siblings knew it was a sensitive subject.

“Well if you didn’t want to be there, you could have at least let us know!” He hissed under his breath so their mother would not hear. “I wake up in the morning and you’re fucking gone. I only figured out what happened because Jack had this big-ass constipated look on his face.”

“What...what did he tell you?” Harley sighed, running a calloused hand through her tangled hair.

“That you left in the middle of the fucking night, because apparently you didn’t want to see us anymore.”

Even though it was true, Harley glanced at Jack, who was clearly eavesdropping on their conversation, and glared at him until he shrunk back into the wall. He sent her a look, indicating that he was sorry, but she just sent him a small shrug, before turning back to Rian.

“Well, I’m sorry if it was too much for me to handle then.” She frowned, and she watched as Rian’s face slowly softened.

“You could have just fucking dealt with it!”

“Fucking dealt with it?” She felt her voice raising above a whisper now, their conversation no longer spoken in hushed tones. “I couldn’t just fucking deal with it, you prick!”

“Don’t call me a prick! It isn’t my fault that you had some issues and decided to be a coward and run away!”

“Fuck off and die.” Harley shouted, earning a short gasp from her mother as she stormed away from the group.

Alex quickly abandoned his spot next to Zack, and instead followed her, calling her name as she started to climb the stairs, taking them two at a time.

She listened to his melodic voice as he called her name, feeling her insides tightened as the memories clouded her mind.

Her vision became blurry through the pool of tears that rested on the brim of her eyelids, and she quickly took a deep breath, before walking quicker across the long hallway.

Harley heard the sound of Alex’s footsteps as they pounded on the carpet more rapidly, and she too picked up her pace. Soon she was breaking into a full out run towards the room at the end of the corridor, the room she had occupied for her entire childhood.

The beige door was nearing her now, and she felt her heart leap into her throat as she flung the door open. She felt Alex’s presence behind her, so she grabbed the doorknob, ready to close it.

The door swung shut, and Harley let out a breath of relief as the leaned against the bedroom wall.

“Fuck,” she heard Alex mumble, though it was muffled by the door. “Harley?” He called, and she felt the doorknob jiggle chaotically beside her. “I’m losing the circulation in my foot. Open the fucking door!”

Harley rolled her eyes, but confusion overwhelmed her. She backed away from the door and looked towards the floor. She let out an audible gasp of surprise as she noticed a Nike clad foot wedged between the door and the wall.

Alex’s fingers nimbly made their way into the crack as he attempted to pry the door open.

“I’m going to come in.” He called out, as Harley forced her body upon the door, hoping the force was enough to keep Alex out of her room.

“Go away, Alex.” She groaned, quickly swiping a few wisps of hair away from her eyes as she hit her head against the door. Her legs felt weak from all the travelling, and a wave of exhaustion washed over her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked, and Harley could hear the frown in his voice.

“Nothing Alex.” She sighed, pushing further into the door. His foot remained wedged in the door, and she quickly glanced at the colourful shoe. She thought for a moment, before adding, “Go away.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Rian should of told you. I left because I didn’t want to see you guys anymore.” Harley felt her tongue become leaden as the words escaped her lips .Her breath caught in her throat as she realized what would happen if Alex believed her lie.

“Bullshit.” She let out a sigh of relief, as Alex cursed. She missed the small things about him, such as cursing. She missed his persistency as well. “Tell me the truth.”

“Fuck off, Alex.” Harley hissed, feeling herself give in. She turned around, about to open the doorknob.

Just as her fingers came in contact with the cool metal, the colourful sneaker slipped away from the door, and Harley felt her hands begin to shake once again.

“Okay,” she heard a soft voice mutter, so quietly that it was barely audible, before the sound of sneakers hitting carpet echoed through the house.

She felt her throat close up once again as she realized Alex was no longer at the other side of the door. She sighed, the releasing the doorknob so the door closed with a thud, before turning around to face the room.

It was the room she had once inhabited long ago, with pale lilac walls (her mother had once claimed that dark colors were a bad influence), a dark amethyst carpet and a large floral rug.

The curtains were like beaded mauve rivers that flowed down each window, and it contrasted with the off-white closet doors opposite them. Posters of garage bands and movies were peeling off the walls, and a broken lava lamp lay awkwardly on the eggshell coloured tables.

Harley felt the sensation of nostalgia overwhelm her as she continued to search the room. Her fingers made their way towards the unfamiliar white bookshelf to the right of her bed. Her mother had obviously attempted to clean up, and this was obvious.

Books that had once been scattered across the floor, shoved under the bed or even stacked at the base of the closet were now organized by size on the shelves. Different blocked fonts and light lettering screamed out at her like a vicarious chorus, and she felt excitement bubble inside of her.

She turned to the bed, a full-sized bed highlighted by the sunlight pooling through the broad windows.

The bed was decorated by numerous throw pillows, something that her mother knew that she hated but continuously kept there anyway, as well as a white and lavender comforter. Harley pulled back the comforter and was met with the faded lavender sheets of her childhood.

She smiled at the thought her mother had put into cleaning her room. Exhaustion overcame her once again, and Harley managed to slip off her skinny jeans and pull back the sheets. At the sight of her bed, she finally realized how tired she was.

She climbed into the bed, her milky legs flailing slightly as she nestled into the fragant sheets. As she closed her eyes, thoughts began to sift their way through her mind.

The first thought that came to mind was that Alex had left her, something that happened throughout the previous summer, though this time she deserved it. Maybe he had given up on her after all, something that Harley was both happy and upset about.

Harley moved that thought to the back of her mind, and continued thinking about the events of the day. She hoped that Rian would forgive her, and that Jack would still be as friendly as he was the previous summer.

Harley then realized that she had no suitcase, and that she was without any clothes, as it still remained on the floor downstairs.

The last thought that crossed her mind before she drifted off into sleep was that she was a failure. She screwed everything up and made everything mad. But this summer, she was going to be different.

This summer, she was going to change.

And with that thought permeating her mind, Harley fell asleep.