I Love Your Switchblade Attitude

It had been a disaster.

The first two dresses Harley had tried on didn’t fit properly and the third had a questionable stain on the bust. Her mascara tube was jammed shut, her hair refused to do what she wanted and she couldn’t find the pair of heels she needed to match her outfit.

Now, Harley stood in the cramped bathroom in her mother’s house, staring at her reflection as Colie helped to curl her hair from behind her.

Harley squirmed in her spot as the curler came dangerously close to burning her scalp. ”I look ridiculous.”

“Shut up.” Colie laughed, finishing off curling the final strands of Harley’s hair. “You look great.”

The two friends had repeated this exchange many times over the past ten minutes, after Harley had found a dress that fit her and began applying her makeup.

Harley had originally wanted to do things simple, with natural makeup and hair, but once Colie had become involved, things had spiralled out of hand. Her face felt caked with makeup, and she hoped that she wouldn’t sweat off the layers of foundation and blush out of nervousness.

Her lips were painted a cherry red, and her hair was curled nicely around her face. Her dress was a bright red halter dress, which showed a little too much cleavage in her opinion, but was perfect according to Colie.

She felt awkward and uncomfortable, but with Colie’s encouragement, she began to feel confident about her appearance. Max would be there in a few minutes, and Harley felt her heart speed up as it began to beat like a drum in her chest.

“Are you do—?” Harley was cut off by the door swinging open, with Alex appearing at the doorway, one of his large hands resting on the doorknob.

“Your mom wants to know if you are eating dinner with us or if you’re...oh.” Alex stopped mid sentence, eyeing her formal attire. “You’re going out?”

“When did you get here?” Harley asked, swiping a curl behind her ear as she ignored his question.

Alex smirked teasingly. “About ten minutes ago. Why? Don’t want us here?” The rest of the band must be here too.

“Of course, you’re always welcome.” She smiled back jokingly, before turning her attention back to the mirror. She watched in the reflection as Colie unplugged the curling iron, and Alex stepped further into the room.

“So you’re going out, then?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure look fancy. Max is going to like that.” She felt Alex’s gaze drop to her ass, and she spun around raising an eyebrow as she placed her back against the counter.

“What do you want, Alex?”

“So you’re going out with Max, then?”

“Alex.” Harley hissed through gritted teeth, getting irritated by his questions.

“What?” He blinked at her innocently, which caused her scowl to grow even bigger.

“Yes.” She exhaled loudly, glancing at Colie who watched quietly from the counter, biting her lip. It was obvious that Colie was excited, wanting to say something as she watched the two interact. Getting the message however, Colie walked out of the room slowly, muttering something about helping Harley’s mother set the table. Closing the door behind her, Harley realized that she and Alex were now alone. “I’m going out with Max. Is that a problem?”

“Yeah, actually. It is.” His dark eyes locked with hers, and she felt her jaw drop slightly. “Your boyfriend is a dick.”

“Well.” Harley attempted to regain her composure and not get offended. “Okay. That’s your opinion then.”

She walked hurriedly back towards the door, and as her hand grazed the doorknob to pull it open, Alex reached out and grabbed her wrist, spinning her around.

“Wait.”

Harley looked down at her wrist, noticing how warm Alex’s hand was against her arm. His hands were calloused and huge, and they felt nice and rough against her skin. She had to remember to stay mad at him. She shouldn’t be thinking this. He had just offended her...boyfriend.

“Let go of me.” She seethed, trying to yank herself free.

“Just listen.” He frowned, pulling her closer towards him and away from the door. “You can’t go out with Max.”

“Why?” She found herself asking, though she felt like smacking herself at the fact that she gave him an opportunity to defend himself.

“Max was horrible to us in high school.” He paused, looking at her expectantly.

Harley laughed bitterly. “So? That was four years ago, Alex. Let it go, I’m sure what he did wasn’t that bad.”

“No. You don’t understand.” He groaned, “He did everything he could to make our lives living hell. There was that incident with Jack and the trashcans, he called us the ‘band fags’ all the time, slammed us into lockers, and he always tried to hit on Lisa. I think he was trying to steal her away from me. He’s just using you because he knows that you’re Rian’s sister and it kills Rian to see you date. He’s a dick, and he’s going to hurt you, Harley.”

Harley was furious. Suddenly, anger swelled inside of her, and she couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of her mouth. “Oh, I’m so sorry that you’re precious little Lisa was being hit on, Alex. It’s really the end of the fucking world.” Alex looked as though he had been slapped in the face, and opened his mouth to speak, but Harley quickly cut him off. “Everyone has those experiences. That’s high school, for fucks sake. It was years ago, you need to get over it.”

A horn sounded in the distance, and Harley managed to yank her arm away from Alex’s grip. She stormed angrily out of the bathroom and away from a speechless Alex, ignoring the calls of a curious Rian and Colie as they watched her descend angrily down the stairs.

She kept her mouth tightly closed until she had slammed the front door behind her and climbed into Max’s car.

“Hi, Max.” Harley smiled as she climbed into the expensive vehicle—a BMW by the looks of it, shutting the door behind her. The interior was immaculate, with shiny leather seats and lots of legroom. “You look good.”

She tried her hardest to conjure up a smile, but it must have looked like a grimace, for Max furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“Is everything alright?” Max questioned as he pulled out of her driveway, managing to pull off that sexy-one-arm-reverse manuever. “And thanks.”

He said nothing about her appearance, and instead looked down appreciatively at his outfit, before meeting her gaze once again.

“Of course.” Harley nodded attempting to form a weak smile, before looking out the window at her house as it disappeared further away into the distance.

So much for becoming friends with Alex.

____________

The restaurant was beautiful. When Max and Harley had been arranging for the date, Max had told her to dress ‘not to fancy’ and well, that was a huge mistake.

As soon as the couple had walked in, Harley knew that this was the fanciest restaurant she had ever stepped foot in.

The marbled tile stretched for what seemed to miles, hundreds of huge, round tables covered in embroidered gold tablecloths and surrounded by large floral chairs were placed strategically across the area to provide the largest amount of space for waiters to pass through.

Towards one side of restaurant rested a large bar, with an enthusiastic bartender who showed off his many bottles of liquor with a flourish and an elderly man slumped over on one of the matching gold bar stools, sipping on an exotic pink drink while surveying the area.

On the other side of the restaurant was a classical violinist, who continued to mechanically play a lengthy piece so sweet, it was like honey to Harley’s ears. The restaurant was dimly lit, with only small lamps that gave of an orangish-glow to provide lighting for its customers.

Max had walked confidently up to the maître d’ and asked for “Porter. Party of two.”

The maître d’, a young man who looked too incompetent to be working in such a high class establishment took a moment to stare at the pair idiotically, before looking down at his reservations list, grabbing two menus and nodding to them, leading them further into the restaurant.

He sat them at one of the tables towards the back of the restaurant, closer to the violinist, before disappearing back to his podium. Harley sat down, followed by Max, and even though they were surrounded by the murmurs of their fellow diners and the melodious hum of the violin, the air became quiet.

Feeling uncomfortable, Harley glanced down at the menu placed in front of her, and her eyes immediately flew to the numbers placed next to each item.

“Jesus Christ.” She muttered, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping open.

“What?” Max’s head flew up from his menu and an alarmed expression appeared on his face.

“Why is this stuff so expensive? Our finest bottled spring water only for eleven dollars. Jesus, is it God’s piss or something?”

Max chuckled and shook his head, seeming unfazed by the prices.

“You should see this restaurant I took my friend to last week. Forty dollars for an appetizer.” Max smirked, before looking down at his menu.

Harley immediately flipped to the appetizer section, glad that the appetizers were all under thirty dollars. She attempted to skim the menu, but couldn’t find anything she recognized. Her eyebrows furrowed as she attempted to decipher the unknown language listed on the menu.

Before she could ask Max about the unidentifiable foods on the paper in front of her, an elderly man in dress pants, a stiff white shirt and bow tie appeared in front of them with a notepad.

Harley was confused by this man’s sudden appearance, and realized that he was the waiter and there to take their order. Should she just read one of the names on the menu? Or maybe pick the least expensive? Should she ask the waiter about it? Should she—?

“Harley?” Max’s velvety voice pulled her away from her thoughts, and she squinted in the dim lit to see his face. He frowned and raised his eyebrows, but she continued to look at him, confused.

“What?” She asked, fidgeting in her seat. The waiter looked as though he was trying not to laugh.

“Are you going to order?” He paused and she continued to look at him oddly. \

It took her a moment to figure out that he had already ordered, and that the waiter was waiting patiently for her.

“Oh...uh...I..I guess...” Harley looked down nervously at her menu, and felt the heat rush to her cheeks as her vision blurred. “I...I...”

“Yes?” The waiter asked, uncapping his pen once again and touching the tip to the notepad.

“I’ll have...w-what he’s having.”

Harley attempted to regain her composure as she clumsily folded up her menu and handed it to the waiter shakily. Max did the same with much more grace, and the waiter disappeared to place their order.

“Are you okay?” Max looked worried, and Harley’s thoughts immediately flew to Alex and his previous words. She felt like scoffing. Max did care! Alex was just being stupid.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine.”

“So.”

“So.”

The pair awkwardly laughed.

“I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.”

Another dead end. This was turning into another disaster.

“So, uh, tell me about yourself. Some more about you, I guess. For being your fake girlfriend, I don’t know much about you at all.”

“Oh. Okay!" Max visibly brightened. "Well, my name is Maximilian Porter...”

Harley relaxed in her seat. She had a strong feeling the night had finally begun.

_______________________

Two hours, sixteen minutes and fourteen seconds.

Two hours, sixteen minutes and fourteen seconds of Max talking about his life.

Only about his life.

Every topic, every comment and every small bit of conversation led back to his life.

The only comment he had made regarding anything other than himself was when the food had come, identical bowls of some sort of pasta with meat in extremely small portions, and Harley had questioned what she was eating.

“Cow brains.” Max said with a straight face, his mouth staying in a flat line, the corners of his lips not twitching at all.

Harley choked on her food, coughing slightly as she contemplated swallowing or spitting out the cow brains in her mouth. “WHAT?!” She reached for the miniscule glass of eleven-dollar spring water, before chugging it down in one gulp to wash out the taste of brains.

Just then, Max burst into laughter, noticing her horrified expression upon realizing that he had been joking. “No, it’s just beef in some sort of sauce. Not the brain of cow, don’t worry. Though one time, I was in Paris and we went to this restaurant with this waiter who told me I looked very handsome, so I decided to try some cow brains and...”

It never stopped.

Two hours.

Sixteen minutes.

Fourteen seconds.

After Max and Harley had finished eating, Max had thrown down a couple hundred dollar bills onto the table, before the couple walked out of the restaurant.

The ride home had been quiet on Harley’s part, as she strained to hear the radio over Max’s one-sided conversation. He talked about the time he decided he would go golfing in a cashmere sweater.

How exciting.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the BMW pulled up in the driveway of a familiar residence. She had never been so happy to see her house in her life.

“I had a great time tonight.” He grinned, his pearly white teeth visible even in the dark of the car.

Harley glanced past his head, and noticed that the light was on in the kitchen of her house. Those lucky bastards were probably eating nice, large portioned meals that did not consist of cow brains, having the time of their lives.

Harley forced a counterfeit smile onto her face. “Me too.”

Max was so nice, and he was handsome too. Why did he have to have the personality of a rock?

Max must have taken this as some sort of approval, for he leaned across the center console and grabbed her face towards his, before crashing his lips onto hers. The kiss was rough as his body awkwardly twisted to make himself more comfortable.

Harley’s body was still trapped by her seatbelt, the small strap jamming itself against her chest. She had to admit, ignoring the pain of the seatbelt and the awkwardness of kissing across the car, the kiss was nice.

Max was a great kisser, but she already knew that. Next to him, she felt inexperienced, but she knew that if they continued this fake/real relationship, whatever they had going on, she would learn.

If it continued.

After this dinner, Harley felt a little sick learning about the lack of personality Max had. It was only when Max’s hand began to inch its way towards her leg, before finally resting on her thigh, that Harley pulled away, a little startled at the odd contact.

She looked down at his hand, and Max breathed heavily, his breath still smelling of liquor and cow, before he slowly retracted his hand in confusion.

“Sorry.” She breathed out, glad that the darkness of the car masked the fact that she wasn’t sorry at all. “I don’t do more than kiss on the first date.”

“Huh.” Max blinked at her, and the streetlight across the street illuminated the disappointment in his features. “Okay. Well, night Harley.”

“Good night.” She muttered, shivering as she opened the door of the BMW and closed it behind her, before teetering up to her porch and opening the front door.

Closing it softly behind her, she waited until she heard the purr of the BMW fade into the distance, before letting out an exhale of relief. That date was a catastrophe. Turning around, Harley almost collided into the petite frame of Colie, who had appeared behind her with a coy smile on her face.

Harley glanced at her wearily, getting ready to tell her that she was not in the mood to share details, but Colie was already talking. “...where did you go? What did he wear? Did he say you looked great? Or beautiful? What did you eat? Did he kiss you? Did you get laid? What did you guys talk about?”

The questions came out in a big rush, and the anger and disappointment that clouded Harley’s mind caused the words to jumble together even further.

“Colie,” Harley sent her a look and Colie stopped, her expression softening as she noticed the disappointment on Harley’s face.

“Oh god. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Harley paused, getting even angrier at the fact that she was constantly asked that question throughout the night, and she just kept lying. Contemplating this, Harley opened her mouth once again. “Actually no. No, I’m not alright. I feel like shit.” Colie opened her mouth to console her, but Harley lifted her hand in protest. “I’m just going to sleep. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

Harley slipped off her heels, leaving them sloppily against the doorway before climbing the stairs and walking towards her bedroom, ready to collapse. As she climbed the stairs, she heard the heavy footsteps of Colie as she retreated to the kitchen, where she was met with even more questions.

“Was that Harley?” Someone that sounded like Rian asked.

“Yeah.”

“How was her date?” This question came out bitterly. It must be from Alex.

“I don’t know.”

“Where is she?”

“Upstairs.”

“Is she—?”

Not wanting to hear anymore, Harley slammed the bedroom door behind her, collapsing onto her bed and blocking out the world around her.