Opposites Attract

I'm bored.

Cory and his mom went out grocery shopping today, and because I'd rather be doing anything besides shopping, I opted to stay home. I've been sitting on the couch watching TV all day. Sure, I could probably be doing something more productive, but I've already done my homework and... actually that's the only productive thing I can think of doing. So, I guess I'll just get food or something.

I got up to go to the kitchen just as the doorbell rang. I figured it wasn't Cory since they would just use their keys or call me first, so I looked out the window, and I froze.

My dad was here.

What is he doing here?!

I knew I couldn't hide forever, but for some reason it never occurred to me that he might come looking for me at the house of my best friend since grade school. God, I really am an idiot.

"I know somebody's home. I can hear the TV. I'm here for Sean - I'm taking him home."

I gasped and quickly covered my mouth before sliding down to the floor.

"Sean? I know you're in there! Open this door now!" The door suddenly shook. I tried to breathe as quietly as possible, hoping that eventually he would just go away. My dreams were shattered when he started pounding on the front door repeatedly not so I would let him in, but so that he could let himself in.

I got up and ran upstairs to Cory's bedroom and closed the door behind me. Unfortunately, this house doesn't have any locks on the doors besides the ones that lead outside. I decided to barricade the door, so I pushed the dresser in front of the door, careful not to knock anything over, then ran to hide in the closet. How ironic.

I closed the door - which really didn't help me much seeing as it was one of those doors with the slats in it so you could see inside - and sat down on the floor. I still heard the banging on the front door. I wanted to tune it out and forget what was happening at the moment, but I'd be a dead man if I did that, so I tried to calm myself as I took out my phone with my shaky hand and pressed Cory's number on speed-dial 2. Each long ring made my calm slip away faster than it came to me. No answer. I called again... no answer. Again... still no answer. Damn it! Knowing him, he probably left his damn phone in the car or something. I thought about calling his mom, but then remembered that she had just lost her phone a few days ago. Damn it again. I frantically called the only other two people I could trust right now - Zephrinity and Dallan. Neither of them answered. I was officially screwed.

I realized that the banging had stopped downstairs. I was hoping that he was giving up... but then he started back up again. I knew the door wouldn't last much longer. I called all my friends again, dialing every number to make sure I had it right. Still no one answered. I scanned every contact in my phone, but no one else knew about my dad. I didn't trust anybody else to help me. I trusted my friends... but they're nowhere to be found.

I scanned every contact again, then stopped at my mom's. I know it seems weird that I still have her number since she passed away, but I could never bring myself to delete it. I rubbed the call button gently, thinking about how often I had relied on my mom always being there for me. I never had to call her or even say her name, she would just appear whenever I needed her. It's like she had a mother's intuition times ten. She never cared how badly I messed up or how stupid I acted sometimes - she loved me anyway. I bet she wouldn't have minded that I was gay.

I snapped out of my reminiscing when I heard a loud crash downstairs. I jumped and felt my panic level rising again. His footsteps echoed through the house as he came up the stairs. His steps paced the hallway, throwing open every door but just jiggled the handle when he realized he couldn't get in. He started pounding on the door and shouting at me. I pressed the call button immediately and laid my head against the wall while I listening to the ringing, wishing that I could hear my mom's voice on the other end saying "It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. I'll always love you anyway, Sean."

"Hello?"
My eyes shot open. I stared at the phone, calling out hello to me. "U-u-uh... he-hello?"
"Hello, who is this?"
"This is... this is Sean."
"Sean? I'm sorry, sweetie, but I don't know anyone by that name."
I gasped, realizing how much this woman sounded like my mom. I had almost felt like I had forgotten my own mom's voice, but hearing this lady, it was as if I was talking to her.
"Sweetie, are you still there?"
I gulped and put the phone back to my ear. "Sorry, yes I'm still here. It's just... you sound so much like my mom. Um... look, you don't know me, but I really need someone to talk to right now. My dad... my dad is really mad at me right now. A while ago, I ran away from home because he and I got in a fight. He was mad because he was tired of me being gay, and I was mad because he always loved my older brother over me. The fight got really intense, and then he slapped me. I'd put up with his insults for a long time, but I was really scared when he hit me because it was the first time he's ever done that. So I left and hadn't talked to him since. I've been staying at my boyfriend's house, but nobody's home right now, and my dad found me and came in the house and now he's trying to get into the bedroom. He wants me to come home, but judging by his attitude, he's not letting me walk out of here. He's... he's really scaring me right now. I don't know how to deal with him anymore-"
"SEAN, OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU! YOU ARE COMING HOME RIGHT NOW AND I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY MIND, DO YOU HEAR ME?!"
"Please, miss. You've got to understand what I'm going through right now. I mean, I guess I am just whining. He's only hit me once, it's not like he's really abusing me or anything. I should just suck it up and deal with it. After all he is my dad, but still... we were never really close to each other, and I don't think he would hesitate to hurt me again. We never got along well, not like him and my brother Dallan. They loved each other. Dallan was the golden child: straight A's, captain of every sports team you could think of, he got everything he ever wanted because he was such the charmer. My dad treated him like a god. I was just second best since my grades sucked and I wasn't as good at sports as Dallan was. My dad definitely played favorites. My mom didn't though. She loved us both equally because she was just that type of person. She was sweet and caring and didn't care if you failed at life or were an Olympian or genius or whatever. She loved everyone, even my dad. God, I wish I could be with her right now. I don't want to go with my dad, but what else can I do? I'm here by myself and I can't take down my own dad. My friends aren't answering their phones - neither is my boyfriend or his mom or my brother. It's as if they aren't supposed to help me right now. Maybe I should just deal with this by myself."
"I'M GETTING SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS, SEAN! YOU ARE MY DAMN SON AND YOU WILL OBEY ME! YOU CAN'T HIDE IN THERE FOREVER!"
He paused, and I listened, holding in a breath.
"I'm trying to be reasonable here, Sean. I'm giving you a chance to come out now and we can talk about this. But if you don't to come out, then I'm coming in! You can't just fucking get up and leave home, especially not to go to your little faggot friend's house!"
I bit my lip and put the phone back to my ear. "Did you hear that?"
"Yes, sweetie I hear it all. Are you okay? Has he hurt you right now?"
"No, he hasn't gotten to me yet. But I know that he's gonna get in soon. He already busted through the front door, and that was locked. I put the dresser in front of the bedroom door, but he's strong so I doubt it will hold him much longer."
"And you said that you can't reach any of your friends at all? Have you called everyone? What about your family? Where's your mom right now?"
"My mom's gone. She died in a car crash when I was little. This... this was her old phone number. I was desperate so I called it. I didn't really expect anyone to pick up, I was just... I don't know, being extremely optimistic."

I heard the banging start up again. I'm guessing my dad had finished resting and was ready to try busting down the door again. I heard it splinter, and I sucked in a huge breath and let it out.

"He's trying to get in again. I don't think the door can take it."
"Where are you right now, sweetie?"
"I'm in a bedroom closet."
"No, I mean the address of the place."
I told her the address. Then I heard her talk to someone in the distance and relay the address to them. I didn't know who she was talking to, I was too busy focusing on the door that was thudding against the dresser and moving it out of place. He would be inside soon. Damn, I wish these doors had locks.
"I've called the police, sweetie. They're on their way."
My eyes widened. "Wait, you what?! Why?!"
"Because you're scared, and obviously your father is dangerous. He could really hurt you."
"But they'll take him away from me. He may hate me, and I can barely tolerate him, but he's still my dad. He's the only family I've got: my mom is dead, and even when my brother is nearby he's never there for me! You can't let them take my dad from me!" I felt my voice crack as my throat ached.
"You need help, son. You need someone to protect you, and I want to be that person. Just relax, sweetie, I'm here for you."
I froze. She sounded exactly like my mom.
That's when I broke.

I started crying into the phone as she talked to me, trying to soothe me.

Then the door burst open with a big crash. I looked up through blurry eyes and saw the dresser knock over on the floor and the door halfway open with a huge split in the middle. He squeezed through the doorway and looked around the room. I held my breath and crawled further back into the closet as quietly as I could. His eyes scanned the room before landing on the closet door. I saw his mouth turn up into a wicked grin that sent chills down my spine.

"I'm not leaving until we talk, Sean! You might as well come out now and make it easier on yourself. The sooner we talk, the sooner we can go home."
He threw open the closet door and I jumped, dropping the phone.
"Are you okay, son?" I heard the phone say faintly.
My dad glared down at me. "Come out of the damn closet Sean!"
"Why would I? That's what g-g-got me into this mess in the f-f-first place." I stammered.
He growled, picked up my phone, and threw it against the wall. It shattered into pieces by the bedroom door.
"Get up now before the same thing happens to you!"
"You don't scare me." I lied.
"Why are you fighting me? Why can't you just come home so we can talk about this?"
"Because you don't want me to talk at all! You only want to hear what you want to say! You just want me to agree with whatever you want!"
"I want you to stop this annoying backtalk! I'm your father and your the child! I'm in charge and you obey me, that's how it works!"
"Well, I'm not going to listen to you until you stop acting like such a psychopath!!"

He slapped me across the cheek. Hard. I bit my lip and glared up at him as tears threatened to spill out.
No. Not again. Not in front of him.

I stood up to face him. He didn't seem fazed at all.
"You are a terrible father. You really won't be happy with me, no matter what I do."
"Well maybe if you stopped acting like such a degenerate child, I would!"
"All I've ever done was try to please you! I tried hard in school, I joined the football team because I know it's your favorite! But that never satisfied you. To you, I was just a C-average kid playing catch. Even when our team won a game, it still didn't mean anything to you. Face it, all you ever wanted was Dallan: the perfect son."
"Well he was perfect! He excelled at everything he ever did. He went through high school with flying colors and dominated college. He made something of himself."
"He lived with a bunch of sluts he met at night clubs! After college, he sat at home and fucked his life away - literally!"
"Don't talk about your brother that way!"
"Oh I'm sorry for insulting His Majesty. Should I kiss his ring, get on my knees and beg for forgiveness?"
"You think you're so damn funny, but you've got one hell of a smart mouth. You always got in trouble for doing stupid shit that I had to bail you out of. At least if Dallan did something stupid, he took responsibility for it. I had to force you to apologize to people! You had no manners, no respect for anybody, you were a delinquent."
"I was angry! I couldn't talk to you about anything, and Dallan was never home, and then when mom died it was as if the family just broke. The only person I could talk to was Cory, and you never liked him. I loved him more than anything, and you knew that. You couldn't stand it, that I loved a boy, that I felt close to somebody when you didn't. You felt like Dallan was perfect, he was all that you had, but what about me?-"
"You were a screw-up! You screwed up in school, in sports, fuck you even screwed up with dating! How the fuck did you turn out gay?! What the hell drove you to be something so disgusting?!"
"YOU DID! YOU NEVER LOVED ME! OF COURSE I WAS GONNA FALL FOR THE ONE PERSON WHO CARED ABOUT ME AFTER MOM DIED!"
"YOU DIDN'T DESERVE LOVE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED YOUR DAMN MOTHER!"
"WHAT?! HOW THE FUCK WAS THAT MY FAULT?! I WAS A KID!"
"Your mother loved you kids more than anything, even more than me. I knew she would hate me forever if I hadn't saved your life. If I didn't help you, she would have never forgiven me, even if you both died, she would haunt me forever. Of course I loved you - you were my son, but I never wanted kids. But when Dallan came, he made me realize it wouldn't be too bad. But your mother was so attached to him, and to you when you came. I wasn't even important anymore! All that mattered was you... she would've given her life to safe you anyway. I had to save you."
"I can't believe you. You would've let me die if you didn't think she wanted me?! Are you really that fucking heartless?!"
"I had a heart! Your mother meant the world to me! I couldn't bear it when she was gone! Dallan wasn't so broken up about it, or he just didn't show it. But you, you whined more than I did and I couldn't stand it. If it weren't for you, she would've still been here. You had no right to be upset! You didn't love her like I did!"
"You let her drown! You could've saved her! I wanted you her."
"But she wanted you! Believe me, if I felt like I could've let you die and live happily with her, then believe me I would have."
My eyes popped out of my skull. "Do you really hate me so much that you would let me die?"
He glared at me. "You took the love of my life away from me. I hate you more than death itself."
"I hate you, too." I spat out. "And I can't even figure out how my angelic mother could ever love a bastard like you."

He snapped. He lurched forward and slammed a fist into my face. I fell back on the floor. Before I could even register what had just happened, he started showering me with punches and kicks. I tried retaliating, but he was too fast for me to do anything but try and block, which wasn't very affective at all. I started feeling numb as he hit the same spots over and over, but it was a numbing pain which didn't make sense at all. I could feel my skin bruising, and each kick knocked the wind out of me. Trying to fight back was useless. My attacks would be too weak.

I'm too weak.

My head was spinning and my vision started to blur. I thought my ears were ringing too, but it turns out that sirens were approaching - the woman had called the police. I felt bad that I didn't even get to know her name. Maybe it's better that way. She reminded me too much of my mom, and it just doesn't seem fitting for her to be anyone else.

My dad stopped his assault when he heard the sirens. He cursed while trying to figure out what to do, but was still swearing when the cops rushed upstairs and handcuffed him. I just wanted to curl into a ball and go to sleep, but my aching body wouldn't let me move. I was just happy that I was able to close my eyes. I sputtered a cough and tasted coppery-liquid in my mouth. The sirens, the cops talking to me, my dad shouting - all of it blended into white noise.

I felt my body being lifted up but I had no idea why. Maybe I was dying. Maybe I was going to heaven. Wait, I can't go there. I'm a faggot who killed his own mother and tore his family apart. It looks like I'm getting even farther away from my mom now.

Still, at least it can end now.

At least I won't have to burden anybody else with my problems.

Now I can finally feel better.

Thank you, mom.