Opposites Attract

Today I went shopping with my mom. I really don't like grocery shopping, but my mom kept insisting that we never spend time together anymore. I'd like to say it's because I spend so much time with Sean, but I know that I've been neglecting him, too.

Lately, it seems like Sean has just turned into the perfect boyfriend: he's sweet, he's fun, he's willing to do anything to make me happy. I've been trying to make Sean as happy as he makes me ever since we became friends, but I know that it's a difficult task considering how upset he really is. He hardly ever admits it, but I know he's still depressed about his mom's death. The fact that his dad is so mean to him doesn't help at all. Dallan has been trying to get more involved in Sean's life, but I think we all know it's kind of pointless. No offense to Dallan, but he's not ready to grow up and be a mature adult, and yes I know he's almost 25 or something, but he's still not ready to be a parent. So I guess you could say that Sean has a severe lack of parental figures in his life.

I know I'm nothing like his parents, but I've still babied him before, which he hates but I do it anyway. He doesn't realize that he can't take care of himself all the time. Everyone needs help now and then. I just wish he could learn to ask for it before it's too late.

I absent-mindedly stared at the shopping list while my foot rested on the shopping cart. My mom was digging in the frozen section for something - I think it's pizza - and was coming up empty-handed but refused to give up. Mothers are scary ruthless when they shop.

I missed Sean. That makes me sound so clingy since I only left about an hour ago, but I really do miss him when he's not around. I'm so used to him always being there that it seems unrealistic for us to be apart.

I wanted to do something special for him even though I know I could never top the awesomely-romantic date he planned for us. I figured I would do something food-related too. I wanted to make him his favorite dessert. Unfortunately, he has no favorite - he loves every dessert, and has few foods that he dislikes. I tried thinking of what to make him while my mother emerged from the freezer with three frozen pizzas. Why did we need three frozen pizzas for four people? Because it's on sale. -_-

After what felt like an eternity, we had checked out and trekked back to the car to pile in the groceries. I frowned at myself when I noticed how difficult it was for me to lift a few bottles. I am so much weaker than Sean. Maybe I should start exercising. He would definitely tease me for it: "How is a little twig like you supposed to lift weights?" or "I could bench-press you." And then I would pout and he would laugh and apologize and I would instantly forgive him but not tell him that and continue pretending to be mad. That's when he would kiss me, and I would take that chance to kiss him back as best as I could, thus initiating a make-out session without it seeming totally random. I suck at being spontaneous, unlike Sean.

I slid into the passenger seat and clicked my seat-belt. As my mom started up the car, I noticed my phone on the floor. Of course I had forgotten it again. I picked it up and saw the screen flash telling me I had a missed call. I frowned - it read 7 missed calls from Sean. That can't be good. Panic set in as I tried calling him back but go no answer - it went straight to voicemail.

"Mom..." I started but couldn't find the words to continue.
She looked over at me with concern. "What is it?"
I choked out the words I dreaded the most: "I think something's wrong with Sean."

***

We practically sped back home, me calling Sean every chance I got, then calling Dallan and Zephrinity to see if they had heard anything. Zephrinity didn't answer - she was probably at the clothing store working since it was the weekend. Dallan still hadn't answered as we pulled up to the house. There were police cars and an ambulance parked out front. I tore open my seat-belt and ran to the door that was about to be blocked off my police tape. An officer stopped me and it took all the strength I had not to punch him in the face right then.

"You can't go in there, this is a crime scene."
"This is my house! You can't tell me what to do!"
"Look, I'm sorry son, but-"
"Where is he? Where's Sean!"
"Calm down, please. We're trying to work out the situation right now."
I stared at him incredulously. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE WORKING OUT THE DAMN SITUATION?!"
"Could you please calm-" I tried shoving past him but was stopped at a sight that broke my heart.
Sean was being rolled out of my house on a stretcher. He was covered in blood and his clothes were ripped. His chest wasn't moving - he wasn't breathing.

I felt like I just suffered as many blows as he did.

I didn't even realize when I had started crying, but my mom had come to hug me in comfort. I wriggled out of her arms and ran over to the ambulance that was taking Sean away.

Then I heard angry shouting coming from behind me. I turned around and saw Sean's dad being dragged out in handcuffs, cursing to high heaven. When his eyes landed on me, he sent me a glare filled with so much hatred that would have shaken me to the core if I could feel anything right now. I felt nothing but despair.

I turned back to Sean. They were hooking tubes and things to him at lightning speed while it felt like the rest of the world had stopped. Everything went back to normal speed when they said "Let's get him out of here!"

I grabbed the doors of the ambulance. "Let me go with him."
"Are you his family?" I shook my head. "Sorry, we can't let you go."
"Why not?! I'm the closest thing to family that he's got!"
"Only his actual family is allowed with him."
"Half of his family is being hauled away in a damn squad car!!!"
"He's losing too much blood. We've got to go now!" Someone inside the ambulance said.
"Fine let him in." The man waved me inside. My mom rushed in and had her phone out trying to call Dallan again.

I stared at Sean's broken body: his skin was pale and splotched with scrapes and smears of blood, his lips were no longer pink and curled up in a smile or a frustrated pout - instead they were parted and waiting for a breath of air to rush in form the mask begin put over his face, his eyelids were closed yet I still felt them penetrate my skull with a look of sadness I could imagine clearly.

The guilt hit me like a train.

***

We arrived at the hospital after the longest drive I had ever been on. They rushed Sean to the emergency room, or surgery - too many doctors and nurses kept switching words on me every time I asked them. Of course we weren't allowed to follow because we still weren't family, but if he was headed to surgery I supposed we couldn't follow anyway. I would have given anything to be there with him every single step. I fought with doctors, nurses, and interns to let me see him or at least learn what they were doing to him and where he was. Nobody gave me a clear answer.

I hate hospitals.

My mom tried desperately to get me to sit down and relax my worries just a little bit, trying to assure me that he would be fine. But I wasn't in the mood for lies or uncertainties. I wanted the truth, no matter how terrible it might be.

As I stood staring down a hallway, a woman came up to me and tried to talk to me. She looked older than my mom, but that may have been the fact that she had platinum-blonde-almost-white hair. She gave a sympathetic smile and tried to shake me hand, to which I stared at until she lowered it to her side.

"Hello, my name is Gwenyth Budro. I assume your Sean's friend."
I stared at her. "I'm his boyfriend."
"Oh, so that was your house. Oh I am so sorry about what happened-"
"Who the hell are you and how do you know Sean?" I was too pissed to care about manners right now. I just wanted answers.
"Well, he called me, or rather, he called his mother's number-"
"What?"
"He said that he was calling his mother, but I guess I had her old number. I picked up when he called, and then he explained the situation he was in with his father. I listened to him and called the police, and I tried my best to comfort him until help arrived but I don't know how much I helped. He didn't want me to call the police - he said they would take his father away from him and he could bear losing the rest of his family, but you have to understand the predicament I was in - I heard his father screaming and breaking things and Sean was so scared, I-I had to do something!"
"He...he called his mom?"
"Yes. And he told me... that his mother was deceased. It was very confusing to me until he talked about the relationship they shared. He really loved her and misses her, and I suppose that he felt like she was someone he could turn to when he had a problem."
Realization hit me. "He felt like no one else was there for him. He felt like he had no choice but to call his mom. I... I wasn't there for him. I... I... I didn't keep my promise. I didn't protect him..." My voice became wet as I started crying. Tears overflowed from my eyes. The Burdo woman wrapped me in a small hug while my mom rushed up and gave me a big bear hug to engulf me.

I cried for who knows how long - time runs off course at hospitals. Eventually the crying stopped but the guilt and sadness were still there, eating away at me.

Dallan had shown up soon after finally answering the numerous messages left by my mom. He explained that his phone was dead and he had just found the charger and plugged it in when my mom's 24th call finally went through. Just as he as asking my mom what happened, one of the doctors I had recognized from earlier came out to stand in front of us. My mom and Dallan and Ms. Budro rushed over to hear the news. I didn't move from my seat. I couldn't move at all.

His lips formed so many confusing medical terms that I got annoyed and shouted "Just tell me what's wrong with him!"
He kept his emotionless face but bit his lip. "He's been severely hurt. He died twice before we could operate." I froze. "But we brought him back and now he's stabilizing. He has some internal bleeding and a few broken bones, mainly his ribs. Luckily they didn't pierce any organs, but, to put it in general terms, his insides are a mess."
I nearly punched him in the face but Dallan held me back, gripping onto my arms. He wanted to punch him too.
"What's gonna happen to him?" Dallan said, trying to calm down.
"He'll need multiple surgeries to repair the damages. We already had to do one immediately when he came in. Right now, all we can do is wait until it's safe to do another surgery."
"How long will he be here?" I said, barely above a whisper.
He turned to me, same emotionless expression. "No doubt for a very long time, but we don't know for sure. He could be alright after we do the surgeries but it's highly unlikely. In some cases people have fallen into comas. It's unsure what will happen next."
I couldn't breathe at all. Dallan rubbed my shoulders but i think it was mostly to try taking his focus of fit all.

I couldn't believe it.

Sean was in the hospital...

and it was my fault.

I promised I would save him....