Opposites Attract

I'm happy to finally be out of the hospital - it brought back a really bad memory for me, Dallan, and Cory.

Speaking of memories, I think mine is defective. Cory told me what happened with my dad, but I honestly can not remember it happening, or remember much of anything. I mean, thankfully I can remember people that I know and some buildings look familiar, but everything else is just hazy. I can't really remember most things that have happened. But the two things that have stuck in my mind make this kind of bittersweet: my mom isn't here, and Cory is my boyfriend. Those were a little fuzzy in my mind at first, also. But you know when a person has amnesia or something, but then they see or hear something that triggers their memory? Well, being in the hospital reminded me of my mom, and well come on - do you really think I could look at Cory and not remember that he's the best thing that's ever happened to me? :D

Dallan is in town, and he's here to stay. He rented an apartment for the both of us. I'm not allowed to go back to my house or Cory's house, but nobody's telling me why. I know my dad attacked me, but that's all anybody will tell me. They act like it's all some big deal, and then they give me a sad look.

I hate this. I feel like I'm the center of gossip and no one will tell me what they're saying about me. I know they're all talking about me, but they won't let me in on anything!

Right now, I'm sitting in Dallan's car outside of our new apartment. He went upstairs with my bags - I'm not allowed to do any heavy lifting for a while, even though I feel fine, just a little sore and I've got medicine for that. But no, everyone's got to treat me like a baby. It's insulting.

Cory had to go to school today, so he's sitting in third period right now. He came early this morning to see me leave the hospital, making my day. He protested so much to leaving me, which only made me smile more. It's funny when I remember how complicated things were before when we were first working out our feelings for each other, and now we're just as inseparable as we've always been. That's something that I'm glad will never change.

Dallan opened the passenger door for me and handed me my crutches. I glared at him before gripping the door handle and standing up by myself, despite his disapproval. He sighed and propped me up on my crutches once I had gotten out of the car.

"You don't have to keep putting up the strong front, Sean." He said after closing the car door and locking the car.
"It's not a front. Everyone knows that I'm strong, and I intend to remind you guys by proving it to you. Just because I got in an accident doesn't mean I'm incapable of taking care of myself."
He frowned at that. "I wouldn't really call it 'an accident', Sean-"
"I don't care what you would call it. It was a mistake, and it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't left alone." I snarled at him, instantly feeling as much guilt for saying it as he probably did when remembering it all. He shrunk back, defeated, and walked to open the front door for me.

Of course I felt shitty for saying that. He was only trying to help me. I just couldn't help that from shooting out though - I guess I still feel pissed about everyone babying me, and about the fact that I need help in the first place. I didn't think that I still blamed Dallan for everything bad that's happened between me and dad, but apparently my accident just brought back my frustration.

I don't care what anyone says. It shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake. An accident. I just wasn't prepared for it, and it's my fault for it happening I'm sure of it. Dad hated me, so why wouldn't I be to blame for what he did to me?

"Dammit, I'm sorry, Dallan. You know I don't blame you for-"
"No, it's okay," he cut me off, "I understand you're angry at a lot of people right now, and honestly I am kinda to blame for not being there when you needed me. I left you alone with dad and I didn't come to rescue you. Even when you called me and I came to visit, I didn't do shit to help. I know I'm a lazy, selfish jerk... I... I'm gonna change that, okay? So, what do you want for dinner?" He put on a fake smile to try and change the subject.
"It's barely lunchtime, Dallan."
"Right, um... well I took the rest of the day off, so I'm here if you need anything. The bathroom is down that hall-"
"Wait wait wait... you got a job?"
"Ye-Yeah, I figured I had to pay for an apartment somehow - I couldn't keep staying at my friend's house, ya know? And I can't leave you by yourself again, so I got a job. Uh, two jobs actually. Because of my lack of skills and pretty much worthless associate degree, I've got virtually no chance at a well paying job. But um, the hours aren't too bad - I'll be working while you're at school and when you're asleep, so it all works out."
"No offense Dallan, but I didn't think you were even capable of doing menial labor."
He let out a breath, blowing his shaggy hair off of his forehead for a few seconds before falling back in the exact same place. "I'm not. I had to beg my friend Socko to hook me up with my second job."
"So, are you gonna be okay working two jobs? I've never seen you break a sweat unless you were playing sports, and you aren't exactly... scholarly..."
"You let me worry about that, smartass." He grinned and nudged me.

We stepped further into the living room. He pointed towards a doorway that I hadn't noticed yet. "Alright, the kitchen is through that doorway, and your room is the first door on the left, across from the bathroom on the right. Help yourself to the fridge... as soon as I stock it up. You won't have to worry about any of my late night conquests coming by because I am making this a sex-free zone, you know unless you and Cory- no wait it's still a sex-free zone. No sex, no drugs, no drinking, no parties, no staying up late. Your curfew is at 12."
"Dallan, not that I'm criticizing your new parenting style, but I figured I would tell you that 12 o' clock is pretty late for a curfew."
"It is?" I nodded. "Oh, well uh, just come home before that then. And do your homework."
"Do I have any chores?"
"Chores. Right. You can... take out the garbage and... vacuum the... the..."
"Dude." I put my hand on his shoulder. He sighed and put an arm around me.
"I'm really trying here."
"You're trying too hard. I'm not a bad seed. You don't have to act like a super-strict parent - even mom and dad weren't that strict. Just make sure that I stay in line by keeping an eye on me, but know when to give me some space. I promise I'll stay away from the drugs and beer, I can't promise that I won't have a social life, but I won't stay out too late, and as for the sex... unfortunately I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon."
"Aw, your little boy-toy ain't putting out? A night alone of candlelight and heavy petting should help with that." He grinned.
"Now that's the Dallan we all know and tolerate."
"Aw, we both knew I wasn't completely changed."

He pulled me in to give me a noogie. I glared him down while fixing my hair, but he just laughed and disappeared down the hallway. I rolled my eyes and followed him, and I found him in a room sitting on the bed.

"This is your new love nest, Ace." He smirked.
"Very funny. I didn't see another room down the hall. Where do you sleep?"
His smiled faded into seriousness. "On the futon in the living room. Now before you start protesting, you should know that I've slept on much more uncomfortable- uh the futon is fine. I don't need my own room - I've been living on my own for a long time. I'm glad to have company that won't sneak out in the morning."
"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate hearing about your private life?"
"Well maybe if you told me more about your life, I wouldn't have to fill the conversation with mine." He smirked.
"Speaking of your private life, are you single right now?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Just like you said, it's my private life and his too."
"Whose?"
He frowned at what I'm guessing is something else I didn't remember. "You set me up on a non-date with your teacher Mr. Sinclair. Remember, he came and visited you in the hospital?"
"Huh? Oh ye-yeah, I think I remember him. Wait, I set you two up together?"
"You thought that he needed more interaction with men his own age, but you didn't want me to sleep with him because that would be gross and it wouldn't help him, but I don't see how that wouldn't help him - sex always helps me feel better."
"What, why would you... nevermind. So how are things going with him? I suspect you didn't listen to me and slept with him anyway?"
"Actually, I haven't. He and I have gotten together a bunch of times and just talk or hang out. He's actually got a great taste in food, music and men. And he's trying to introduce me to these books he's seriously in love with. I might actually start reading one of them."
"Oh my god." I dropped my crutches for effect.
"What is it?!" Panic set in on his face.
"You aren't bragging about how you got in his pants? You don't want to talk about how hot he is or how much he's into you? You're going to read?! You aren't bragging about how you got into his pants?!"
He rolled his eyes. "Shut it. Nothing's happened between him and me, just like you asked for. He's a cool guy, and it's been a long time since I've had a real friend besides Socko. And... I'm not really looking for a relationship or a hookup right now. I'm enjoying the single life."
I stared at him in shock, my jaw practically on the floor. "First a job, now this? What the hell happened while I was unconscious?!"
He tried not to laugh while shaking his head. "It's time I grew up."
"You can't replace our parents. And I really don't want you too. Don't change because you feel like you have to."
"But I do. I'm not trying to replace anybody, but you have to admit that I've been living like an irresponsible teenage manwhore long past my high school days. I'm a grown man and I need to start acting like it."
"...Are you on drugs?"
"Thanks for the support, buddy. I'll be in the bathroom masturbating to my high school yearbook if you need me." He said walking away.
"Okay, I know that was a joke, but I still did not need to know about your gross private life!" I called after him.

I plopped down on the futon, careful to avoid the unpacked boxes littering the living room. This was gonna be a lot of work unpacking. Who knew I even had this much stuff? I might as well get started on it now. First box: comic books, actual books (how did those get in there?), text books... okay too many words. Moving on. Second box: alarm clock (dammit), iPod dock, desk lamp, etc. Third box: clothes, clothes, and more clothes. Fourth box: shoes. Fifth box: unidentifiable foreign objects from my room. More boxes to go, and now it occurs to me that I still have to move all of this stuff to my room. I sighed just as my cell phone beeped in my pocket. I took it out and looked at my new text message:

skool sucks so much w/o u here. but its better knowin u r ok now. c u l8tr. - <3 Cory

I grinned big at my phone. Dallan walked in then.

"What's with the happy face? Your bf send you some naked pictures?" He joked.
I was contemplating whether to be embarrassed, turned on by the thought, or angry at him. I settled on angry for now by answering with "Shut up. It's just a text."
"Well, that's no fun. I swear, for a couple of teenagers, the hormones aren't exactly raging. Have you even made out yet?"
"Yeah we have, o irritating brother of mine. I just don't want to push him too far. He's never been with anybody before and well, I've been his first... everything. I want to continue that, but not until he's ready."
He came over and sat down next to me. "You're a good kid, Ace. A real gentleman. I admire you for that. I could never do that myself, I mean come on I practically run on sex."
"So then how have you been powering yourself for so long without it?"
"I told you I was in the bathroom with my yearbook-"
"Okay nevermind. I don't need to know whether you where telling the truth or not. So, do you think I could go back to school soon?"
"If you think you're up to it."
"I'll take my crutches with me and Cory can help me if I'm too stubborn to ask for help."
"Alright, and homework?"
"Uh..."
"I'll talk to my teachers and get all my make-up assignments and then study so I won't fall behind?" He gave a confident smile.
"I hate it when you act responsible."
"Well, get used to it because the new me is gonna be popping up from time to time. Now, are you hungry or not?"

***

"So, this is the new place?" Cory said as he walked into my room.
"Yep. I got most of the unpacking done earlier, but I've still got to add the personal touches."
"You mean messiness and sports equipment with a hint of body sweat?"
"And a dash of dirty magazines. That is trust Sean-esque, my friend."

He rolled his eyes at me before jumping onto the bed. I leaned against the wall and smiled at his comfort on my new mattress. But at that moment, a lot of thoughts started popping into my head at the idea of Cory lying on my bed and know there was nothing around that would stop us. Kinda like on 'The Hard Times of RJ Berger', where his parents are practically begging him to bone somebody. I love that show. X)

"School was so boring without you. My day was full of well-wishers, many of whom talked as if you were dead. So Zephy had to make sure I didn't punch anybody in the face for saying 'I'm so sorry about your loss. You two made such a cute couple.'"
I snorted. "That's what people were saying? Who says that to someone in mourning? 'Oh, you looked so cute together. But I bet if you killed yourself, you guys would be the cutest corpses ever!'"
He giggled and rolled over on the bed while hugging a pillow. Dammit, Cory, stop looking so sexy and innocent while laying in my bed. "I bet we'd win Prom King and Queen."
"Totally, except which one of us would be the King?"
"Obviously it's you, Sean. You're a leader and the most popular kid in school right now. Plus, you've gotta admit I'm closer to the stereotypical effeminate gay boy than you are."
"True, but I'm the stereotypical closet gay who hides his true feelings behind testosterone and violence. Nobody likes that guy until he comes out and finds a boyfriend."
"Not true. They always have a fan base, and it's usually the girls who fall for the bad boys - 'He's so troubled and broken, but I can fix him.'"
"Some things just weren't meant to be fixed. Like broken mirrors - even if you could put it back together, you would still have billions of cuts and seven years bad luck. Totally not worth it."
"That's what I like about you, Sean. We can talk about absolute nonsense and have a totally serious conversation with it."
I smiled. "Nonsense? I thought zombie prom couples and bloody superstitions were of the utmost importance."
"Maybe to an extreme fetishist." He said nonchalantly.
"Whoa, such naughty talk coming from such a pure little boy. I might have to wash your mouth out with soap, young man."
"Or maybe we could play nurse and I'll give you the sponge bath."
"I uh... well I..." Okay, the new Cory was leaving me speechless. Since when does he spew out flirts and innuendos?

Cue awkward silence.

"So, anything else happen at school today?" I tried desperately to change the subject.
"Ugh. Zephy thinks that the best way to keep my mind off of things is to throw me in a dark room filled with horny teenagers fist-pumping to blasting techno music and humping each other under strobe lights."
"No way, are you talking about a rave? I've always wanted to go to one!"
"Yeah, the Anime Club at school host a rave every year apparently, but they've just recently become popular, so now mostly the whole school knows about it. Zephy thinks that I enjoy her dragging me to parties to get violated. She is mistaken."
"Yeah, you do sorta have this tendency to be violated at parties."
"Hey, you are mostly to blame for that."
"You say that as if you didn't like it."
"You were drunk and you totally left me confused after that."
"And I apologized for being such a drunken idiot but eventually accepted that it was a good thing I did kiss you or else none of this would have ever happened. Now, compared to how well things have worked out for us, can you still honestly say that you going to a party with your friends is a bad thing?"
He stared at me for a long time before pouting. "I hate your logic. it makes too much sense."
I grinned and hobbled over to sit on the bed with him. He sat up and pulled his legs up to his chest, not helping me walk or sit down because he knew I would be annoyed at the babying. "Coach also thinks that I should join track."
"But you have asthma."
"I know, but he says I'm a great runner and can overcome some slight wheezing with practice so that my body will get used to it."
"Do you like running?"
"I'll admit that it's fun sometimes, but not for sport, more like for chasing my friends when they say something inappropriate or stupid."
"Well in that case, you should be in perfect shape for track."
"Ha ha. Really, I don't know if I should do it or not."
"Well, let's list the reasons why it's a bad idea: it takes away from your free time, it could cause problems with your asthma, you would have to run even when it's rainy outside, and it might just draw more attention to yourself. Good reasons: you like exercise, you're good at running, you'll feel proud when you win, it's a great thing to put on college applications, and I bet your ass will look great in those shorts."
"Again, you are hilarious."
"I wasn't kidding. It's pretty hard to make your ass look bad."
"So I guess there's no point in asking if these pants make my butt look big?"
"Even if they did, I'm sure Sir Mix-a-lot would have no problem with that."
"Oh please, I'm a skinny white boy with absolutely no muscles or curves. What exactly would Sir Mix-a-lot enjoy?"
"Hm... okay forget him. Your boyfriend would enjoy it very much, and would be extremely jealous if any out-of-date rappers stared at it. This is my ass. I claim it."
"What, are you gonna stick a flag on it and claim it in the name of your thing?"
"If I must. Then everyone shall know it is mine."
"No sticking weird things up my ass... I mean, uh well you shouldn't stick anything, I mean not that I don't want you and I to ever, but not that I'm suggesting anything I mean I'm not saying we should have sex right now, not that I never want to have sex, I just think that now's not the right time. Please say something to cover up my awkwardness." He sighed, his face a flustered red.
"No way, it's cute when you're embarrassing yourself."
"No it's not."
"You have yet to prove me wrong."

He pouted. I kissed him on the lips, not changing his pout. I kissed him again and put a hand gently behind his head to pull him in closer. Eventually, he gave in and kissed me back. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me down on top of him, surprising me but not enough to stop what we were doing. He moved me to lie in between his legs as his hands firmly gripped his waist. My own were still caught up in his emo hair. My tongue found it's way into his mouth and made itself comfortable. I felt his soft fingertips brush against the skin above my waistline, and it took a bit of lip biting to control myself. He didn't seem too concerned about control as he tug on my belt-loops, then moved his hands down to my zipper. That's when my brain told me I had to pause it (against every other part of my body calling me an idiot for stopping it) and find out what was going on with him.

"Cor, why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what?" He panted while avoiding eye contact.
"Acting like a sex-crazed... teenager. You're like the popular girls at school."
"No I'm not! I j-j-just thought you w-wanted to do the s-s-same th-th-thing that I was thinking o-of."
My eyes widened. "What were you thinking of?"
"Oh, n-n-n-nevermind. J-Just forget it."
"No, tell me what's on your mind." I rolled off of him so that I lay on my side next to him.
"N-nothing."
"You're still stuttering. I know something's wrong. You don't just randomly try to get in my pants. I know my teenage boy mind wouldn't object, but this isn't like you and I'm worried."
"I'm fine, okay? If you can keep secrets and not accept anybody's help, then why can't I?"
I stared at him. "Cory, what's wrong?"
"I told you it's nothing! N-N-Now can we just dr-drop it?"
I looked at him while he stared at the ceiling. His lip was shaking, he was avoiding eye contact, he was stuttering, he was keeping secrets from me, he needed help?

What's happening to my love?

"Okay, Cory. Let's just talk about something else."

But we never did actually start another conversation. He just closed his eyes and laid on his back while I watched him and tried to figure out his odd behavior. Dallan's total 180 was understandable because he felt like I needed a better father figure in my life. But Cory's outburst was completely unexpected. I thought everything was okay between us. Did I do something wrong?

"Is it me?"
"Huh?" He opened his eyes but still didn't look at me.
"Does this have to do with me not remembering anything? If you give me a hint, I bet I can remember what I did to make you mad."
He sat up and looked at me like my brain had just jumped out of my skull, grew wings, and flew out the window. "What makes you think this is your fault?"
"Because we never fight unless I do something wrong."
His face saddened and he groaned. "Oh, why must you be so perfect?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You always blame yourself even when it's totally not your fault. You cover for me and protect me all the time no matter how many times I tell you not to because you know it'd be completely stupid to let me try to defend myself. You always put my needs first and you never worry about yourself. And on top of that, when I try to do something to make you know that this isn't a one-way street, you have to be the perfect gentleman and consider how wrong it feels."
"Cory, I know my memory's out of whack and I've suffered some blows to the head, and I know that I don't want any special treatment for that, but can you please dumb it down so I know what you're talking about?"
"UGH! YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE PERFECT BOYFRIEND AND I'M JUST... I'm just a mistake."
"Because you're my best friend and my boyfriend, I won't slap you for saying that."
"No, really, Sean. Think about it. You're the poster boy for popularity: gorgeous, athletic, rebellious. You're also the sweet and caring guy who would let himself get killed in order to save someone else. You're the guarded boy with a troubled past who won't let anybody get close to him. You've even got the brains when you choose to use them. You are the total package, and you could have any boy or girl at your disposal, and yet here you are - stuck with a skinny emo boy who can't even run far without getting wheezy. What do I have to offer you."

I stared at him in disbelief. He's still pulling the 'you're too good for me' card? He still thinks he doesn't deserve to be with me? Is his self-esteem really that low?

I couldn't stand it anymore.

I pounced on him and began a full on make-out session. I kissed him forcefully and as passionately as I could. He let me wrap my arms around him and pull him close. I tried to put all my emotion into a kiss that hopefully would snap him out of his delusional realm. When I finally came up for air, he was gasping. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, then rolled back over to lay by his side and folded my arms behind my head. I felt the bed move - he had turned to face me, his shaggy black hair hanging over his stunned eyes, his small mouth drawing in air to his heaving chest. When he finally relaxed, he poked my arm and stammered.

"Wh-wh-wh-why did you-"
"If you ever say, or even think that you're not good enough for me again, I will stop whatever I'm doing and take you to whatever base we're on and turn you into a shaky pool of dreamy emo sexiness."
"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-"
I normally would have smirked at his deer-caught-in-headlights expression, but I was serious.
"I love you so fucking much. I'm with you because I choose to be with you and for some reason you're ignoring my perverted and annoying faults and have chosen to be with me too. You're the whole reason I turned gay in the first place, and I'll never look at anybody the same way I look at you. Besides, where else am I gonna find a self-conscious skinny sex god with an adorable stutter and lights up like a Christmas tree when he blushes? I can always find another emo boy, but you, Cory, are a one of a kind model and I would be crazy to give that up."
I didn't hear anything. I turned to look at him. He was actually crying.
"Shit, what did I say now? You're not going into self-conscious overload, are you?"
He laughed and wiped a tear from his face. "No, no, I just can't believe you said all that stuff about me. Here I am, practically throwing myself at you after I spent months trying to figure out exactly what I was good for in this relationship, and here you are showering me with praise as if I'm some Adonis or something."
"Nah, Adonis's are too muscle-y. I like my boys pale and skinny."
"Shut up." He shoved me.
"So, you were really trying to have sex with me earlier? But you're-"
"A virgin, I know. I just thought, that there had to be something I could do. I'm usually the romantic, but you are just the sweetest guy and you plan the best dates. And I obviously can't protect you after what happened with your dad..." He was sobbing now.

I took him into my arms and hugged him, rubbing circles in his back and making soothing sounds to calm him down. Believe it or not, this is what I loved. I always have to put up a brave front around everyone, but when it comes to Cory, I can just relax and be as mushy as I want to. And when you have someone like Cory, who is always mothering you and taking care of you like he does, then it just feels amazing to know that you can do the same.

So I told him that.

And then I told him that he did so much for me: giving a damn when nobody else did, worrying about me when I wouldn't, giving me the strength to be okay with my weaknesses, comforting me when my mom died, devoting his time to try and save a relationship that wasn't even broken, letting me be as annoying and perverted as I want to be without getting smacked, sexing him up when the time felt right, letting me know that someone is always there for me, and loving me unconditionally just as I love him.

That only made him cry more, but they were happy tears this time. Dallan walked by to check in on us, but I just smiled and waved him away. He nodded and left us.

Finally, Cory sat up, wiping his nose. I wiped the tears off his face and brushed his matted hair away from his forehead.

"Okay, I think I'm out of fluids now."
"Oh darn, and I was hoping I had enough time to take advantage of you while you were vulnerable. It just isn't as much fun without jizz."
"You are by far the grossest person I have ever met." He sniffled.
"Then you haven't spent enough time with Dallan. Ask him about his college days - you won't sleep for a week."
"No thank you." I laughed as he snuggled closer into my chest.
"So... the only thing you could come up with was to have sex with me?"
"I figured that I couldn't keep relying on my mother's cooking, I'm too embarrassed to use my art skills, I can't afford to write your name in the sky, and I knew that if it was you and me it would be okay."
"Did you bring condoms?"
He was quiet for a second. "Dammit. How could I forget that?"
I laughed. "Don't worry, I'm sure Dallan's got plenty."
"And gallons of lube."
"And a closet full of porno."
"I bet he wouldn't mind if we borrow his stuff for a while."
We stared at each other, then burst out in laughter.
"Even though you're right, I wouldn't want our first time to be based off of Magnums and a dirty gay porno."
"But I thought that was your dream." He teased.
"Only if you include a cheap motel and a riding crop."
"What the hell? You better be joking."
"Of course. The riding crop is too advanced for you. The ruler is for beginners."
"I should smack you right now, but I'm afraid you'll get turned on by that."
"Only one way to find out."
"Gross. Well, I'm glad you're back to your perverted self, but right now you are really creeping me out."
"I'm kidding. No way I'm I into all that stuff. But I bet I know what you're into."
"What?"
"Student-teacher role-play."