Opposites Attract

corybantic [adj]: frenzied; agitated; unrestrained.

This what Sean has been calling me for about two days now. It's not funny. I am not "corybantic". Not in the least.

"OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S ON CRUTCHES?!"

Okay, so maybe I am being a little frantic.

Sean chuckled and waved at the now traumatized kid who just ran for his life.

"Cory, you have got to stop being so freaked out. I'm fine, I've been injured before, I can manage."
"Yeah but you-" He struggled to put a hand to my mouth.
"I thought you promised not to talk about this again."
"But Sean-"
"Never again. He's out of my life for now: It's just me, you, and Dallan. No one else."

I sighed and held the door open for my completely stubborn boyfriend as he hobbled into the school building. Eyes immediately darted to him. He furrowed his brow as the entire student body stared him down. He glared right back.

"What the fuck are you all looking at?"
"Language, Mr. McLean." Mr. Sinclair said, walking past us.
"Sorry, Keith baby. Good to see ya, by the way." He grinned.
Mr. Sinclair just shook his head with a smile and walked to his classroom.
"Now, as all of you probably know by now, I had some trouble and ended up pretty beat," he addressed the hallway. "This does not mean, however, that I am gonna put up with any well-wishers or gossip or any of that... crap. Today, I just want to focus on myself and my sexy-ass boyfriend over there." He pointed to me while I proceeded to blush like crazy.
"Sean..." I whined.
"Sorry babe, but there is no point in denying it. You're sex on legs." He grinned.
"Damnit, Sean, shut up!" I hid behind my shirt collar while some girls giggled and some guys scoffed and groaned in disgust.
"So anyway, if anybody has anything ignorant to say about me, don't say it. That is all." He smirked and bowed somewhat gracefully to his public. Didn't I tell you he was the king.

The crowd somewhat dispersed and carried on with their talking and flirting and whatnot. I still felt the heat of my blushing on my cheeks as Sean came back over to my side and kissed me on my rosy face.

"Don't be embarrassed, babe. I'm proud to show you off. I want the whole world to know just how lucky I am." He whispered in my ear.

I frowned in confusion at how he could possibly feel so lucky considering this month's past events, but completely forgot it all when he planted a huge kiss on my lips. In front of everyone.

I pushed him away from me, careful not to let him fall off his crutches. "Sean, what the h-hell are you d-doing?!"
He frowned. "Just... what I always do. I kissed you. Is that bad now?"
"Yes, in public it is!"
"Why? I came out, so what's the problem?"
"It's not about us being gay, I just don't like all the attention. You know I hate PDA, and I certainly hate being in the middle of it."
"Sorry, Cory. I forgot. It won't happen again, okay?"
I felt entirely guilty after he said that. It has, after all, been a huge struggle for him just to admit to his feelings, so for him to even kiss me in public was a huge feat.
"Forget about it. It's not like I'm gonna tell you you can't kiss me anymore."
"Good because I wouldn't have listened anyway." I smiled as he kissed me once again and flipped off the onlookers that sighed and groaned.
"Maybe we should get to class before you piss somebody off."
"Aw, man. I still have to go to class?"
"What were you planning to do at school?" I asked but then regretted, expected some perverted answer from him.
Instead he shrugged and adjusted his crutches under his arms. "Nothing. I guess it's fine as long as everything is back to normal. Come on, we're gonna be late for homeroom."

I stared bewildered at his back as he hopped forward down the hall. He just thinks that everything will go back to normal? Has he really forgotten everything that just happened?

If you hadn't noticed, normal just isn't apart of our lives here.

***

Sean locked eyes with Zephrinity when we entered homeroom. At first I thought they were going to murder each other, and I had no idea why! Then they approached each other, looked the other up and down, and settled into their own comfortable stances.

"So you're back at school, huh? I figured you would at least hide out until your face went back to it's usually less hideous form." I gasped as Zephy casually tossed out her insults.
"Nah, I figured if you can walk around with a deformed face AND body like that, then I can handle sporting a few bruises."
"Hm. I know you've forgotten that girls can be attractive, but let me remind you - I'm a sexy bitch, and the entire male student body agrees."
"Well, you got the bitch part right."
They stared each other down before bursting out in giggles and hugging each other. I shook my head. My friends have such a weird way of greeting each other.
"Glad you're back, buttface."
"Glad to be back, mugshot."
I walked over and joined in the hug. "You guys are weird."
"And that's why you love us, darling!" The both shouted with grins on their faces. I rolled my eyes. They were getting along. That means that terrible things will happen to me.

"So here's what you missed - everyone at school has named you the King of Popularity but I think that's just because everyone thinks you fought your old man or something, Mr. Sinclair has been acting more out of it than usual, your boyfriend is being stalked by fangirls and gay guys, and Forrest and I are now officially a couple!"
I flinched at the shriek that followed her happiness before putting an arm around her. "That's great, Zephy. I'm so happy for you." I smiled. She grinned, then turned to Sean.
"What?"
"Be happy for me, damn it."
"Aw, do I have to?"
"Yes." She and I both said.
"Fine. But only because Cory said I have to."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." She shrugged. "Now, Cory, you have to come shopping with me today so I can pick out new clothes and underwear."
Sean and I gave a simultaneous 'ew'. "Why the hell do you need him to help you pick out underwear?" She crinkled his nose in disgust.
"Because I need a male opinion and since you won't go shopping with me, Cory's the closest thing I've got."
"Hey! I totally count as a guy!"
"Sure you do, sweetie." She pet my head while I folded my arms and pouted. Sean just laughed.
"You'll always wear the pants in this relationship, babe."
I rolled my eyes at him but still felt slightly better after that, which probably makes me a mean person. Suddenly, he frowned, then shuddered violently.
"What is wrong with you this time?" Zephy sighed.
"I just got a mental image of you in lingerie. Oh gross! Egh!"

She punched him in the ribcage without thinking. When he began coughing, her hands few up to her mouth as she apologized over and over again. I was already at his side making sure he was okay. He looked up, his body still bent over, and grinned.

"Gotcha."

Zephy gasped and punched him again. I abandoned his side, bothered by him faking his pain. I didn't understand how he could make a joke about all of this, but then again he never was really serious about anything, and the fact that it took so long for him to tell us about his dad must mean that he's put on a brave face multiple times. But I wonder how much of it all he really remembers. The therapist at the hospital said that Sean might have selective memory which means he remembers only the things that he wants to but may not even realize it. In a way, he's making all of his bad memories repressed, and that can only be bad once he remembers everything. I don't want him to relive any of it, but I don't want him to just try and pretend like half of his life didn't even happen. What do you even do in this kind of situation? There's no way I can get a boy as stubborn as Sean to think about things that would make him feel less brave.

This isn't working. I need coffee.

***

Halfway through Mr. Sinclair's class, Sean was tapping his pencil, and Mr. Sinclair had dropped his papers on the floor for the second time today. He sighed and began picking them up, then just shook his head and left them there. He stood up, went back to the board, then scratched his head and stood there.

"Um... okay, so... the Progressive Era was uh..."
"Um, sir, we talked about that last week. This week it's supposed to be the Great Depression." I told him.
"Oh right right."
"Mr. Sinclair, are you okay?" One blonde girl said. "Maybe you need to spend some time in bed. I'm planning to be nurse you know, and I could use the practice." I rolled my eyes as she continued to devour him with hers, biting her lips and crossing her legs in a supposed provocative way.
He wasn't even fazed. "Huh? Oh uh thank you Amy."
"It's Cammy." She said, her voice tinted with anger.
"I'm sorry, it's just... can I be real with you guys?"
The class looked at each other, then back to him, not really sure where this was going.
"How many of you have ever been stuck in the friend zone? You know what I'm talking about, right?"
There were murmurs and nods before nearly the whole class raised their hands, except for the blonde chick and a few dudes. I looked over at Zephy and noticed her hand was raised too, which surprised me - when has any guy ever been crazy enough or stupid enough to turn her down? She caught me staring and smiled nervously before lowering her hand. Strange...
"And has that person ever sent you, like, mixed signals?"
Again, most hands were raised, as was Zephy's. Now I was curious.
"So what do you do about that? I mean, you don't want to just throw yourself at them but you don't want to stay just friends forever. And it's even more ridiculous when you know that the person you like isn't exactly shy, like they're already dating somebody or they're practically a whore-"
"Mr. Sinclair." Uh oh. The Principal just walked in. This isn't good.
"P-P-Principal Howard! I didn't know you were... standing there."
"Just what exactly is going on in here? Because it sure doesn't sound like you're teaching history." He set a stern glare on him.
"W-W-Well, I-I-"
"Keith. Interesting class. Sean and Cory were just telling me yesterday that you had been teaching them about how infidelity ran rampant with a lot of our past presidents, you know - scandals and such. Isn't that right, Keith?"
"Oh... yes. We were talking about the controversy of the Woodrow Wilson scandal to be exact, since we're studying the Progressive Era, right class?"
We all played along.
"Well, alright. But next time, try using more appropriate language around your students. Anyway, I came to escort Mr..."
"Dallan, sir." He waved.
"Yes, Mr. Dallan to see his brother Sean."
"Yeah, you left your new prescription at home, Ace. You know you're allowed to take it at school, right?"
"Yeah I know. I left it on purpose. I don't need it - I feel better now."
Dallan frowned, then looked up at Mr. Sinclair. "Do you think Sean and I could talk outside for a minute, please?"

He nodded. Sean got up with a groan and left one crutch behind to prove his point that he was better, even though nobody really believed him. They left the classroom with the Principal and class went on, but my eyes kept drifting over to the door, wondering when Sean was coming back to class.

The bell rang sooner than expected. I gathered my things and Sean's and went out to the hallway where Sean was leaning against the wall, his one crutch lying many feet away from him as if he threw it. Dallan had a hand through his hair and you could tell he was trying not to pull his hair out.

"We'll talk about this at home, Sean. Bye, Cory." Dallan stormed past me. I bit my lip and looked at Sean. His jaw was set but he didn't seem as angry as Dallan.

"So, what happened between you two?"
"He's just trying to be a father figure again, but I told him it's too late for that. Whatever, can we just go to class?" He said and tried to walk on both of his legs but quickly groaned in pain.
"We have lunch right now." I sighed. I retrieved his crutch from down the hall and gave him both of them, which he took reluctantly.
"Okay, so let's go."
"Maybe we could... just keep Mr. Sinclair company. He looks like he needs help."
Sean sighed but inched back into the now empty classroom. Mr. Sinclair sat at his desk staring at his notebook.
"Are you alright, dude?" Sean asked. He jumped and closed his notebook.
"Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"Because you spent half the class dropping everything and the other half trying not to talk about whores. I really don't think you're okay."
"I just... I... okay can I be completely honest with you guys?" We nodded. "You two have gone through so much and I love that you are happy together. I mean that sincerely. Yes, in the past I had some feelings that were... inappropriate, but I've moved past that, and now I want what you have."
"Oh my god, does Mr. Sinclair have a crush on someone?" I teased him. He rolled his eyes but nodded. "No way! Who is it?!"
"This is where you have to promise not to get mad at me or freak out." We nodded again. "It's Dallan."
Sean snorted. "My brother Dallan? Man, you sure now how to pick 'em, Keith."
"Sean. Sorry, he's just mad at his brother because they haven't been getting along late- wait a second, he liked me before! Are you saying he has bad taste in men?"
Sean blinked then turned to me. "Wait, no that's not what I-"
"Whatever, Sean. Mr. Sinclair, if you really like Dallan then you should go for it."
"But I can't! I'm terrified of Dallan! He's so confident and experienced, and he's made it painfully obvious that he only likes me as a friend. I don't think I can take being rejected again."
I bit my lip and looked over at Sean, who looked like he was thinking deeply. "It's okay, Mr. Sinclair. I know that Dallan really likes you - Sean and I both know so. Dallan's used to one night stands and flirting that doesn't lead anywhere, and the only serious relationships he's ever had ended badly for him. I think he just doesn't want to get hurt again, like you."
"Do you think if I told him how I felt he would change his mind."
"No. My brother is just as stubborn as I am, and if he isn't gonna chase you, then you've got to make him chase you. Play hard to get, then when you've got him close enough, you hunt him down and make him yours." Sean told him. He still looked deep in thought.
His eyes widened. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that?!"
"Get his attention and then make yourself unavailable. He doesn't even realize it, but he loves the unapproachable. He only goes after everyone else because he knows that they're easy to get and he won't have to worry about seeing them again. Look, I don't want to totally get your hopes up. I'm pretty sure he said he isn't looking for a relationship right now, but I know that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about you. If you're affecting him like he's affecting you, then I know that you'll end up like Cory and me in no time."
I blinked and stared at Sean. His face was so serious and you could tell that he really meant what he said. I couldn't help the smile that crept to my face.
Mr. Sinclair looked up and smiled at Sean. "Thanks, Sean. I really owe you one for putting up with me like this."
"Don't bother. I remember now that you've helped me a lot more than I've helped you. It's the least that I could do."
He grinned, got up and hugged Sean and then me. "Thank you - both of you. I'll be fine so you don't have to keep watch on me. Go, enjoy your lunch period."

He waved us away, so me and Sean walked out into the deserted hallway. I kissed him softly on the lips, but he didn't react to it. I frowned.

"I just... wanted to tell you how sweet you were."
"Did Mr. Sinclair really have a crush on you?"
My eyes widened. I forgot that he was still remembering stuff like this. "Um, yeah he did."
"Did you like him?"
"Um... y-yeah, kinda."
"Kinda?"
"Well, I also liked you, too. I mean, I knew that I liked Mr. Sinclair more than a student should have, but I didn't realize that I really liked him like that. And then when you and I sort of happened, I was confused but kinda figured out that I was gay. So, I guess I sort of liked both of you at the s-s-same time, but i-it wasn't hard for me to realize that I liked you more."
"I don't care who you liked more. You had a crush on him? Our teacher? So after being best friends with me for years you still didn't feel the same way, but you knew him for a few months and suddenly you're in love?"
"No, I didn't love him - it was just a small crush, I didn't even realize what it was at the time. But when I started liking you-"
"After how many years?"
"Please, Sean, the last thing I want to do is fight with you."
"Well, I'm sorry but this sucks! I can't remember most of my life, and the things that I do remember end up being incredibly shitty. My dad beat me up, my boyfriend doesn't even like me-"
"But I do! I love you Sean!"
"And yet you keep trying to get out of this relationship."
"What?"
"You don't like it when I kiss you in public. You force yourself on me when you know that neither of us were really ready for it, so you risked giving up something irreplaceable just so you could feel like you meant something to me? You really thought that the only way to keep us together was to have sex? How can I even begin to process that? A relationship built on sex would never last and you know that!"
"I... I know. I just felt-"
"Useless. Defenseless. Unnecessary. Like the world would be better off without you. Yeah, I know exactly how you felt. You're not the only one whose depressed, Cory. My life sucks right now and I was counting on you to let me know that everything would be alright and things would go back to normal!"
"But they can't go back to normal, Sean! Things keep changing, yeah, but not all of it is bad!"
"Oh yeah? My dad is a fucking jackass who beats his own son just because he isn't good enough for him, and then the 'perfect' son decides to step in and show just how perfect he is by taking in the little screw-up child and try to be a good role model for him. Everyone is treating me like a fucking baby when I could kick anybody's ass here, broken bones or not! And then the one person that I thought I could count on turns out to be a fucking whore!"
"Se-Sean, I..."
"Just tell me one thing: where is my mother? Does my father beat her, too? Did she abandon me also?"
"N-N-No. She... she's dead, Sean. She died in a car accident when you were little." My voice was so quiet I'm surprised he heard me. His eyes darkened and his face show pure hatred.

Before I could even blink, he started off on a rampage, swinging into lockers with his crutches, denting most of them. He threw his crutches down the hallway and kept screaming and yelling and pounding on the lockers. I stood back and watched his meltdown, unsure of what to do. Now I truly felt useless. Teachers and students filed out of the classrooms into the hallway to witness Sean finally become the Hulk. Many of them flinched and scooted back as he ripped a locker door off it's hinges and threw it in my direction, just barely missing my right arm.

I shrieked in surprise and tried to move away from the madness, but another door opening behind me launched me forward onto my hands and knees. I looked up at Sean, or at least this creature that had taken over Sean's body.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He roared. I saw his fist come down towards me. I closed my eyes, but the hit never came. I looked up. Mr. Sinclair was restraining him as best as he could.
"Go back to class. I'll handle this." He said in a stern voice. Slowly, the teachers began shooing their classes back inside the rooms.

Sean struggled and swearing and swinging his fists, nearly punching Mr. Sinclair in the face. He slammed Sean against the lockers and held him pinned. Sean didn't calm down at all. Then Mr. Sinclair smacked him and got in his face.

"Calm down." He said with no emotion, yet still held authority.
Sean stopped and stared at him.
"You're out of control. I don't know what happened, but I'm calling your brother. You aren't ready to be back at school yet."
He let go of Sean and took out his cell phone. Sean looked at me. I looked away.
"Cory... I didn't-"
"You promised you would never hurt me. I know you're fucking pissed off, but you promised that you would never even think about hurting me!" I screamed. He backed off.
"Yes, Dallan? It's me, Keith. I need you to come pick up Sean. He has a problem."

***THREE WEEKS LATER***

"So, Sean, have you learned anything from your violent episode?" The therapist asked me.
I looked around the circle of people, then back at my own demonic hands.
"I learned that I'm angry. I'm angry and depressed, and I can't keep these feelings bottled up or else when I erupt, someone could get hurt."
"Yes. In this case, the someone was your boyfriend?"
I bit my lip and dug my nails into my leg. "Yes. Cory." My voice cracked at the end.
"Have you spoken to him since the episode?"
"No. He hasn't come to see me. He won't return my calls. He's ignoring me."
"He's angry with you."
"Whenever I got mad at my dad or just... life, I would always go to Cory. He would let me rant and wouldn't even flinch when I threw a book or something at the wall. He let me get out my anger and relax."
"But you didn't really release your anger, did you?"
"No. I thought I did, but I just kept waiting till I was calm enough to bottle it back up. And Cory- he never hated me for it. He listened, and he cared about me. And I promised him..." I choked up.
"Go on, Sean."
"I promised him... that I would never lay a hand on him. I could never lay a hand on him."
"And what happened?"
"I almost hit him."
"And you realize-"
"That it was wrong, I know that. I know I'm an asshole for going off on my best friend and my boyfriend, and I know that violence isn't the answer and all that shit that you've been telling me, but you haven't told me how to get better!" I yelled at him.
He sighed and shook his head before looking back up at me. "Sean, this isn't an instant process. You can't just be cured over night. This is going to take some time. But the best things in life are worth waiting for. Don't you want to do your best to resolve your issues so that you can return to your boyfriend."
"Of course I do."
"Then you have to work at it. I can't help you get better unless you admit to yourself that you need help to get better. I know you feel like you don't need anyone, and I know that for a long time you didn't ask anyone for help and you thought that you were on your own. I know that your mother is gone, your father is facing imprisonment, and your brother was off on his own. I know that you felt confused when you realized you were gay, and you felt hurt and rejected when your father turned on you. I know that you felt like everyone was abandoning you. But do you realize who never left your side, even in the worst times?

The person who was there when you felt angry or sad, the person who helped you feel comfortable with your sexuality, the person who waited for you to wake up in the hospital and comforted you when your mom died, and the same person who - even when you completely lost your temper - stood there with you while you attacked the school hallway. That person, Cory, wants more than anything for you to get better. He doesn't hate you, Sean. Nobody hates you. He wants what's best for you, and he knows that until you are better, you shouldn't handle anything that may cause you more stress. That's why he hasn't talked to you."
"He... he doesn't hate me?"
"He promises that he could never hate you. Now don't you want to honor your promise to him?"
"Yes. More than anything."
"Then admit that you need help from someone other than Cory. He's always been there for you, now it's your chance to be there for him."
I nodded. "My name is Sean, and I have anger issues."
"Welcome, Sean." The group replied.

I'll do anything to make it up to him. I swear.