Opposites Attract

I think time has actually stopped.

The sun doesn't even shine anymore, it just sits there lazily in the sky with a blanket of grey clouds around it, as if even itself doesn't want to wake up in the mornings. No, I'm not exaggerating. It's been cloudy and rainy ever since Sean left.

It has only made me more mopey.

My mom has to shove me out the house every morning, and it's hard for me to break my routine of walking to Sean's house to wake him up for school. One day I got all the way to his old house and rang the doorbell before I even realized where I was. I got to school late, and I spent all day thinking about Sean and his dad. They haven't spoken since the beating. Sean's away at some institute to deal with his anger, and his dad is locked up somewhere until Sean and Dallan are ready to take the case to court, meaning his dad could actually be set free by now since he's not officially on trial yet.

I feel guilty for not talking to Sean before he got sent away, and I still haven't talked to him. I know they have phone access and I know I can visit him, but what do I say? Last time I saw him, he tried to hit me. I'm not even angry about that anymore, but that doesn't mean I forgive him. I think it's best if I wait till we have all calmed down and can talk everything out without causing more problems. Keeping our distance for now is the best option.

I still miss him like hell, though.

***

"Do you believe this? It just doesn't make any sense!"
"Babe, I'm sure it was just a mistake."
"Mistake? Are you freakin' kidding me?! This was totally on purpose! That woman is trying to kill me!!"

I sighed as Zephrinity freaked out about her food. Apparently, the employee did not understand her when she said she did not want nuts on her ice cream sundae because she is allergic. She even told the woman this, but still Zephy had lots of nuts on her sundae, and thus she had a fit. Right now, her boyfriend Forrest is trying to calm her down and stop her from jumping over the counter.

"Look, why don't you let me talk to her, okay babe?" He smiled at her.
She glared at the woman and rolled her eyes. "Fine. But I want to see her cry."
His eyes widened and he shook his head then went to the counter. Zephy huffed and sat down at the table with me.
"Sorry, Cory. You know how I get sometimes."
I nodded.
"What's wrong?"
"I miss him again."
She sighed. We only went out for ice cream so I could forget him, but let's face it - I can't forget half of my life.
She tapped the table before smiling. "How about I send Forrest home and spend the rest of the day with you?"
"That was your plan. We met Forrest at the mall and you've been inseparable since. Zephrinity, I love you for trying to help, but I think I just want to go home and sleep."
"No, that's how I found you this morning. We could go ice skating?"
"No thanks."
"Ice skating?"
"I can't skate."
"Um... why don't we go to the football game tomorrow?"
"It's across town, I hate football, and it's Sean favorite sport after wrestling." I stood up.
"Come on Cory, I really want to help you feel better?"
"Then why can't you just take me home and let me sleep?"
She sighed. "Tomorrow, I'm coming over to take you on a road trip, and if you aren't dressed and downstairs by 5 p.m., I'm going to make you listen to screamo music all day."
"Zeph, do you really think a change of venue is going to help me?"
"You never know. Sometimes a change of scenery and some fresh air is the best cure. Please, sweetie, do it for me?"
I sighed and she squealed since she knew she won. Forrest came back to the table with an even bigger sundae free of nuts and placed it in front of her.
"I talked to the manager - he apologized, scolded the lady, and he made you a new one himself. It's safe to eat and it's free."
"Did she cry?" That's all she cared about at this point.
"Like a baby. I think she'll get fired."

Zephy smiled and kissed him on the lips before eating her ice cream. He winked at me, sharing the secret that the woman didn't actually cry but at least his girlfriend was happy now. I took out my phone for the twentieth time today. I had the institute's number in my phone. I walked away from the table and stood near the bathrooms to call.

"Murphy's Institute for Emotionally Unstable Children. How may I help you."
I swallowed for no reason. "Is... what time are visiting hours?"
"12 to 3 p.m. on weekends, 3 to 5 on weekdays."
"Okay. Thanks."
I hung up. I already knew when visiting hours were. I still wasn't going to see him. I don't even know why I keep calling.

***

I decided to not fight Zephy and came downstairs dressed in wrinkled clothes and messy hair, but she rolled her eyes and pointed to the stairs. I sighed, went back up, then came back down in a purple v-neck, black vest, white skinny jeans, black boots, and a belt and I fixed my hair. After she nodded in approval, she threw a black beret at my face and told me to come. I rolled my eyes, put the hat on my head, grabbed a black hoodie, and followed her out the door.

When we got to the car, I saw Forrest in the front seat. I raised an eyebrow at her and she nervously smiled.

"Uh-"
"Save it. Don't care if he tags along."

I got into the back seat once she started the car. So far, the car ride had been filled with the radio and her and Forrest chatting about different songs. She'd look back at me every once in a while, but I was busy staring out the window. Eventually they started devouring each other with their eyes and then hands went in places that I don't want to know about. I laid down in the backseat and went to sleep. When I woke up, Zephy was shaking me and trying to pull me out of the car, even though my seat belt was still buckled. After I let myself out of the car, I looked at where we are: Club Zero Gravity.

"Are you serious? Do you really think I feel like going to a club, Zephy?"
"But you love clubs!"
"I hate clubs and parties."
"But you love dancing! I just thought it'd be a chance to have fun and ignore your brain for the night. At least try to have fun please?"
"As long as you promise not to ditch me."
"Promise."

Of course I didn't believe her at all, but whatever. We filed into the club and thankfully, the music wasn't pounding yet because there was a separate entrance room first. We paid and showed our school I.D.s (it was a teen club) and went into the people-filled dance area. Zephy squealed in delight, but for the first time I couldn't hear it and I actually laughed. She immediately forgot her promise not to abandon me and ran off into the crowd. Forrest grinned and looked back at me. "Want to join us?" he mouthed. I shook my head no. He shrugged and went off in search of his girlfriend.

I sat down at the drink bar and order a Pepsi. Why the hell was I here? I was in no mood to dance at all. Plus, I don't even have any friends around me here. Ugh.

Don't Stop The Party by Black Eyed Peas started playing and I found myself tapping on the countertop with my fingers. I frowned and looked away and caught the eyes of the barista. She smiled shyly and looked down. I hope she doesn't think I'm interested. She bit her lip and looked back at me. Okay, now I'm getting up - I am not starting some huge mess.

I stood at the edge of the crowd. Half of it was couples grinding on each other and the other half was just a blurred mass of people. This does not count as dancing at all. Someone put a hand on my shoulder and I jumped. A guy with blonde hair softly smiled at me.

"Are you lost or something? This is a club, you know, where you dance?"
"That," I pointed at two couples grinding against each other. "Does not count as dancing."
He grinned. "Then I assume you know how to dance better than them?"
"Much better." I scoffed.
"Then prove it to me."
I narrowed my eyes and grabbed his hand, dragging him into the crowd. We squeezed between people until we found a clear spot. I smirked and started dancing, to which he laughed and nodded his head before joining me. Before I knew it, we were still dancing together nine songs later.
"You are good. Why are you at a club if you didn't want to dance with horny people?" He said into my ear.
"My friends dragged me here then ditched me the second we got inside."
"Nice friends." He nodded. I giggled and he grinned at me.
Before long we were sweating a lot. Then another song came on and I found myself sandwiched between him and some chick. He gave a look that said 'Sorry you're in this situation'.
I shook my head. "I don't really care now - she's not really paying attention to me."
"Is that a good thing?" He asked.
"Oh, I never told you - I'm gay."
"Oh, that's cool. I am too." I smiled at him and he smiled back. "By the way, you never told me your name."
"It's Cory."
"Frank."
I nodded and we kept dancing. An awesome new song played just as the smoke machine erupted and lasers fired into the crowd. I had to admit, I was having a blast now. Halfway through the song, I noticed Frank's hands were brushing against my waist, but I didn't say anything since it wasn't a big deal. But then he pulled me closer and wrapped his fingers around my belt. Now it was getting uncomfortable.
"Um, Frank?"
He didn't answer. He moved closer, and by now I could feel his heated chest against mine.
"Frank-"
He looked into my eyes, then he kissed me. I went into shock but snapped out of it to try pushing him away, but the crowd just packed us closer together. His lips worked against mine and I mentally begged him to stop soon, not because I didn't like it, but because I still had Sean. He tugged on my belt but I smacked his hands away, surprising him. He pulled away and looked at me confused. I didn't even bother stuttering an explanation - I bolted away from him and tried to detach myself from the crowd. I was bumped and shoved around so many times I got turned around and ended up by the stage, but luckily I was able to scoot around the stage and escape to the booths. I sat down and felt a panic attack slowly set in, but it hit full speed when I felt my phone vibrate against my leg and saw that the Murphy Institute was calling me. Of all people, of all times - why Sean, why now?

I ignored all the stuff that just happened - I hadn't talked to him in weeks and now he was talking to me.

"Hey, Sean. What's up?" I shouted over the music.
"Hello? Cory? Where are you - it sounds like your at a party."
"Hold on." I headed to the entrance room but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Frank. He stared at me, but I just ran past him into the men's room.
"Sean! Hey, you called me - that's unexpected."
"Uh yeah, I just found out I could call people using the desk phone, but I only get up to ten minutes. What's going on. Are you at a party or something?"
"Uh n-n-no, I'm at-at a c-club."
"Are you okay, Cor? You're stuttering - you're not having an asthma attack are you?"
My breathing picked up speed. "I- I- I-"
"Cory, calm down. Do you have your inhaler?"
I checked my pockets but didn't find anything. "N-N-N-No."
"Shit. Okay remember your breathing exercise. Slow breaths, just close your eyes and relax, clear your mind. Do you need any water? Are you outside? You should get some air."
"I- I- I- I- I'm fine. It's ok-k-kay."
"Don't lie to me. Are you by yourself?"
Before I could answer, I heard the door swing open. "Cory?"

Crap.

Footsteps came near me and opened the stall door.

"Hey man, I'm sorry if I freaked you out, but I thought you were into it."
"We-we were j-j-just dancing!"
He raised an eyebrow. "People don't dance that close and stare at each other like that unless they're into each other."
"I have a boyfriend!"
"Why wasn't he dancing with you?"
"He's... he's not here."
"Then what's stopping you from doing this?"
He kissed me and pressed me against the stall door. I struggled against him and shoved him off of me, letting go of my phone. It went flying into the toilet. I shoved him out of the way.
"Crap crap crap crap crap! No no no no this isn't fair! I hadn't talked to him in weeks and he... he probably just heard everything we just said!!! FUCK!"
"Relax, I bet he didn't hear a thing."
"Shut up! Our relationship was already having trouble and now you just crapped all over it!"
"Well if you guys were almost over anyway, then why are you mad?"
I stared at him in disbelief and left the restroom. Thankfully, I quickly found Zephrinity and Forrest making out in the corner. I pulled them apart.
"I'm leaving. Now."
"What, but we-"
"I said I'm leaving. You wanna stay, fine, but I don't know how you're getting home."
They looked at each other then followed me out the door.

The car ride was silent and tense. I sat there fuming the whole way back. When I got home, I searched the house frantically for my mom's cell phone but her and her phone were nowhere to be found and we didn't have a land line. By now, Zephy and Forrest and already left and I knew that they wouldn't be heading home right away, so I couldn't use their phones. I was sunk.

I dragged myself upstairs, locked myself in my room, and cried. Why was this so hard to make things work?

***

I told Zephy what happened the next day at school. She let me use her phone but the front desk just kept telling me that he was 'busy in therapy' or couldn't use the phone now, which I knew wasn't true. I felt depression set in.

"Cory, I am so sorry. I-"
"-shouldn't have ditched me at the club after you promised you wouldn't? Yeah I agree."
"Sorry but I had no idea this would happen!"
"Doesn't matter. Maybe we just weren't meant to be boyfriends. Every time we try moving forward, we end up taking three steps back. I think we were just supposed to be friends."
"Quit talking like that - you guys were meant to be!"
"Yeah, right."
"If you were meant to be with someone else, then you'd probably be hooking up with that Frank kid right now instead of punishing yourself for something you had no control over. And Sean was Mr. Popular - he could have had anybody, girl or guy, but he's been in love with you since you guys were kids - how is that not fate?"
"We've been friends for years. If we were meant to date, why didn't we get together before then? The only reason we even realized the other person was interested was after he got drunk! Why couldn't it have been when it was sober? Why has everything been so screwed up between us? Why can't things just run smoothly like it was 'meant to be'?"
"Because life isn't like that, fate or not. You guys are working against all odds: Sean's an unstable kid with an even more unstable father and a childish older brother who all have to work to get through a life without a mother, and on top of that, two-thirds of them are gay/bi. What fairy tale or romance starts out like that?"
I sighed. "Maybe a Degrassi episode?"
"Well this isn't Degrassi - it's real life. And believe me, if you guys weren't supposed to be together then I wouldn't have given up on him."
"Wait... what?"
Her face looked like she just saw a ghost. "I-uh-nothing."
I stared her down. "What were you talking about?"
"Nothing. You know what I meant. Nothing."
"I don't know what you mean. What do you mean you wouldn't have given up on him?"
"Oh you know, just like, supporting him and stuff." She was lying. Her voice got higher and her eyes darted around the room.
"You don't even like Sean that much. In fact, you said you only tolerated him because he was my best friend."
"Uh yeah." She said, barely audible.
"Zephrinity, why are being so weird? If there's something you're afraid of telling me, you know I won't judge you. I don't see what the big deal is anyway if it's about Sean - you guys avoid each other as much as possible. I mean, it's not like you'd have a crush on him or anything."

She choked and coughed. My expression went from confusion, to realization, to shock. I grabbed her and pulled her out of the classroom - I didn't care about getting in trouble since we had a substitute and nobody respects them. I dragged her into the girls restroom (the girls wouldn't care anyway) and stood her by the sink, standing directly in front of her and blocking her from escaping.

"Tell me you do not have a crush on Sean."
"I don't." She told me. I let out a sigh of relief. "But I used to."
Relief is gone. "You what?"
She twirled a strand of her hair with her finger and looked at the ground. "I used to have a crush on Sean."
"Used to? When did it stop?"
"When I found out he liked you."
"What? When was that?!"
"I don't know! I mean, it's not like he told me, I just sorta figured it out, and since you guys are obviously soul mates, and well like you said Sean can't stand me, I just left it alone."

I... I... speechless.

"H... H-How l-l-long did y-y-you l-like him?"
She grabbed three more strands of hair and kept curling them around her finger. "Since we were 10."
"WHAT?!?!"
She frowned. "I didn't mean to fall for him! But between all the name-calling and his bad boy attitude and all those spin-the-bottle parties, and we actually kissed a lot of times but it didn't mean anything back then-"
"It did mean something. You're telling me that all this time I thought you couldn't stand him, you were actually flirting with him behind my back?"
"No no! I never actually made a move on him! I told you, this all happened when we were kids!"
"But you liked him for years after that, did you?" She didn't say anything. "Why couldn't you at least tell me?"
"Because I wasn't sure how you would react. You two were best friends and I was never that close to either one of you. I figured if I said anything I would've been banished from the group."
"Does he know?"
"Of course not. He still thinks I hate him. I could never tell him, he'd ridicule me. Before I found out he liked you, the only thing keeping me back was my fear of him rejecting me. It just didn't make any sense to me: we always teased each other and kissed all the time but it was obvious that we still liked each other somewhat. Why did he fall for you and not me?"

I smacked her.

She gasped and held her cheek which was now turning red. Her eyes welled up and she looked at me.

"You know I didn't mean it like that, Cory."
"I don't know what you really mean, since you've been lying to me for years."
"Why are you mad? You just found out you liked him this year! It's not like you've been crushing on him as long as I have - how can you be mad at me when I liked him first?"
"I just- you- whatever. I always knew you were a whore anyway."

Her mouth fell open. One tear fell.

Any other time in our friendship, I would have apologized right away - no, I wouldn't have even thought of calling her that in the first place. But now, I felt no remorse.

I don't know why, but felt extremely anger at her right now.

I've just lost my best friend and my boyfriend all in week. And the worst part?

It's all my fault.