Opposites Attract

I woke up with a killer headache in a foreign room.

I'm guessing I drank too much last night.

I slowly opened my eyes to see Cory lying beneath me on the bed. Have you ever seen a sleeping angel? I'm looking at one right now.

I tried getting up, but groaned, especially when the sunlight hit my face. My protests woke up Cory. He blinked and shot up, making us bump heads, and multiplying my headache by like a thousand. I groaned even louder and fell back on the bed. Cory crawled on top of me and stared, as if he was inspecting me.

"Sean, are you alright?"
"Ugh, aside from the massive hangover and huge bump on my head, I'm fine. Watch where you're going, Cor."
"S-sorry. Do you... remember what happened last night."
"Uh... nope nothing. Oh wait, I think I remember... uh... no all I remember is doing shots. Which I guess probably wasn't a good idea."
"You're damn right it wasn't!"
"Whoa, chill Cory. What's got your panties in a twist?"
"I can't believe you got so drunk last night. How could you not remember anything?!"
"It's called alcohol, Cory. It's not my fault."
"You shouldn't have gotten drunk."
"I needed a break."

He sighed. I'm used to Cor scolding me after I drink. I don't do it too often - I drink at parties, and sometimes I take my dad's beer, but it's not like I have to drink. I'm not stupid enough to get hooked or anything - that why I'd never touch a cig. I just need a stress reliever sometimes, and other times are just for fun.

Cory ran a hand through his hair. "Sean, I need you to think really hard. Tr-tr-try to remember what you did last night."
"Uh well I know I drank beer. And I did shots. And... I guess I danced too. With... I dunno some chick."
"Zephrinity. You danced with Zephrinity."
"Oh. Man, I must have been really drunk." I grinned.
"This isn't time for a joke."
"Then what is it time for?"
"It's time for you to get serious for once."
"Aw, where's the fun in that?"
"Could you just knock it off for once second?!"
"Fine."

I kept quiet as he hopped up from the bed and started passing in front of the bed. Oh great, he was "over-thinking" again.

"Alright. How about we just... ask each other questions?"
"I don't really have any questions."
"Don't you wanna know what happened last night?"
I shrugged. "Did I have fun?"
"I-I-I-I don't know."
"Well, what did I do?"
"Um... w-w-w-w-well y-y-you were um... I... you..."
"Care to elaborate on that?"
"Oh why can't you just remember?"
"Why can't you just tell me?"
"Because I can't! It's just... too... too... it - I can't say it."
"Cory, what happened? Did I do something illegal?"
"What? Of course not."
"Did I break anything?"
"No."
"Then what's the big deal?"
"It's a big deal, trust me."
"Well if it's such a big deal, then I need to know."
"I know but... I c-c-can't say it. And then you even... I don't know how to say it."
"It's simple. You just move your lips like this-"

He cut me off, groaning in frustration.

"Ugh! Sometimes you just totally irritate me!" He threw up his hands and sat back on the bed. I slowly sat up and stared at him.
"Well, sorry but I don't know what's wrong with you, but I'm guessing it has to do with me."
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Can you just tell me what I did wrong?! What, did I get in a fight, did I say something bad about you, or embarrass you or-"
"I don't want to talk about it, Sean!!" he exploded.
I blinked. He doesn't usually get this mad.
"...Okay, Cor. We'll just leave it."
He sighed. "Just like our sleepover kiss?"
"Hey, you didn't want to talk about it."
"I did! Just not then!"
"Well when?! Because while you were sitting there moping and ignoring me, I was going insane trying to keep my cool for you! That's what I always do, stay calm so you don't freak out. And I wanted to talk about it as soon as it happened, but you didn't, so I gave you time. But a week went by and you were still ignoring me. How do you think I felt, huh? I was so fucking confused, and I couldn't even talk to my best friend about it because he was too busy pretending that I didn't exist!" I yelled, feeling a lump rising in my throat.

Don't cry, Sean. Not here. Not now.

"It's not entirely my fault, you know. Nobody asked you to baby me. You don't have to pretend like everything's fine for me."
"Yes I do, or else you hyperventilate."
"That doesn't always happen!"
"Well how am I supposed to know when you're gonna do that?!"
"You don't have to protect me all the time!"
"I do because you won't stop acting like a HELPLESS LITTLE KID!"
"I'VE ALREADY GOT TWO PARENTS, I DON'T NEED YOU TRYING TO BE MY MOM!!"

I froze.

We were breathing heavily, and it only took him two seconds to realize what he just said.

"Wait, Sean -"
"Shut... the fuck... up." I said through gritted teeth. My fists were balled at my sides, so tightly that my nails were turning my hands white.
"S-S-S-Sean..."
I swung back.

He flinched.

My fist stopped inches from his face.

"I don't know what I did to deserve any of this." I breathed. I lowered my hand, then slammed the door as I walked out.

***

24 hours.

I haven't seen another human being in 24 hours.

After I left, I couldn't go home. I couldn't take the car since it was Cory's. All I could do was walk, which was good. I needed the fresh air.

I wasn't even paying attention to where I was headed. My feet were hammering the pavement, my head too clouded with violent thoughts and depression. My mouth was spewing out curses, earning me weird and frightened looks by passersby.

The last familiar thing I actually noticed was an old park Cory and I used to go to with our moms. I know that I walked into the park and kept going on into the wooded area after it. My feet had been protesting in pain for hours, but I finally gave in and sat down by a tree. Once I broke down crying, I guess I fell asleep. I woke up to the sun barely peaking through the trees above my head.

I checked my phone for the time: 11:41 a.m. Well, at least it was Sunday and my dad wouldn't yell at me for missing school. Hey wait, I have missed calls? My phone must have been on vibrate or something: 27 calls, 14 voice mail message, and too many texts to count right now. All from Zephy, Cory, even a call from my dad. It's funny how the three people I thought would be happy that I disappeared are the ones that are worried about me.

Lazily, I got up and stretched. I didn't recognize my surroundings at all - just a bunch of trees. I wouldn't say I was lost, just exploring new territory. Honestly, I didn't feel any desire to rush back home. My dad would be mad at me for disappearing a whole day. Cory and I most likely won't be on speaking terms for a while, and Zephy will definitely take Cory's side so I've got nobody for myself. I sighed and decided to just walk in some direction and see where I turned up. Unfortunately, I only took a few steps before I was knocked on my back.

My body was still pretty much numb from sleeping uncomfortably on the ground and using a tree root as a pillow, so the fall didn't hurt too much. I shook my head and sat up, my face instantly meeting a very familiar and slightly unwanted one.

"Sean? What are you doing all the way out here?" Mr. Sinclair pulled me off the ground.
I brushed off my jacket. "Taking a stroll. And you?"
"I jog every morning, later into the afternoon on the weekends. Why are you out here by yourself? It's too dangerous for you to be alone in the woods."
"It probably is. And I was just leaving anyway, so later." I took a step forward but he lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
"Not so fast, McClean. I'm not letting you wander off by yourself. We may not be in school, but as your teacher, it is my job to keep you well-taken care of. Does anyone know where you are?"
"No, and I'd like to keep it that way." I yanked my arm out of his grasp.
"Well, like I said, you can't stay here alone. So you have three options. One, I stay here with you. Two, I walk you home and help you talk to your parents about whatever the problem is. Or three, you follow me."
"No other options?"
"'Fraid not."

Great, how did I get stuck with this guy? Well I'm not hanging out in the woods with him - that's way too creepy. And I'm not going home - I'm enjoying my time of peace - no yelling, no fighting, no screaming... it's paradise. Following him... well it's not exactly what I've always dreamed of, but it's the better option as long as he doesn't call my dad or make me run errands for him.

"Where are you headed?" I sighed.
"Well, I guess I'm done jogging for the day. All I really had planned after this was grading papers."
"Don't you have anything better to do on the weekend?"
"Not really. My college party days are over."
"Well, not really looking forward to my future now if it's all dull work and stupid exercise."
"On the bright side, you don't have to know what you're gonna do with your life right now. How about you just tell me what you want to do now."
My growling stomach answered him.
"Food it is." He grinned.

We walked back to the park after a while, and since neither of us really felt like riding the bus, we continued walking.

"So, where do you want to eat?"
"I don't care. What's closest?"
"Hm... a gas station, a bar, and my place. And no, you're not going in the bar."
"Fine, ruin all the fun."
He rolled his eyes. "So gas station then?"
"It depends. Do you have real food at your house?"
"You mean meat, and not that weird soy and wheat-grass stuff most twenty-somethings eat?"
"Yeah."
"Definitely. Lucky for you, I just bought steaks."

Never take candy from a stranger. That's what I felt I was doing. I don't know Mr. Sinclair that well, but I'm too tempted by food to really think this through.

***

Mr. Sinclair, or Keith, is pretty cool on the weekends. He can definitely grill a steak, he has a ridiculous load of movies, and he owns more alcohol than my dad (probably not a good thing for a teacher, but I'm not against it). After eating, he tried to get me to talk about why I was alone in the woods, but I just shrugged, so he sighed and left me alone in the kitchen. I ended up wandering around his house, then eventually just plopped down on his couch in the living room.

My phone rang again, and when I saw it was Cory, there was an internal battle going on in my head about whether or not to answer it. I was still kinda pissed at Cory - he knows anything mom-related is a sensitive subject, and I really can't help wanting to look out for him all the time. On the other hand, I missed my best friend. But I did not want to argue with him again or have to bring up whatever the hell happened at the party.

"Aren't you gonna answer that?"

I jumped. I took my eyes off the lit-up screen of my now-silent phone and stared at Mr. Sinclair.

"It's not important." I put the phone back in my pocket.
He sat down next to me. "You can't avoid your problems by running away, Sean."
"I'm not running away. I'm just taking a break before I have to face them. Would you rather I deal with my problems while I'm still pissed off?"
"Hey, if that's how you do things, it's fine by me. To each his own."
"You always say that. What the hell does that mean?"
"It's a fancy way of saying 'whatever floats your boat.' If you like it, then that's good for you."
I sighed. "Whatever."
"I don't know what else to say to you then. If you need me, I'll be in my study." He got up and left.

My phone kept vibrating in my pocket from all of the ignored missed calls and messages, so I figured I might as go through them now - I had nothing better to do. Zephy called me a couple times on Saturday, my dad called once to see when I was coming home but he didn't seem too worried about me, and Cor has been calling non-stop since I left. Cor and Zephy both want to know where I am and if I'm okay, but it's gets weird after that. He keeps apologizing and saying that as soon as I come home, he'll tell me what happened Friday night, while Zephy keeps saying that Cory won't speak to her. Since when does he ignore her? He never ignores her. I rolled my eyes, knowing that I had to figure out what the hell she was talking about, so I called her and was instantly greeted by her trademark shrieks.

"SEAN WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! YOU COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED!!!! CORY AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK, AND HE STILL WON'T TALK TO ME CAUSE HE'S MAD AND-"
"Zephrinity, shut the hell up. I'm fine, I'm just... taking time to clear my head right now. And I'm sorry I scared you guys, I just went for a walk and ended up sleeping my entire Saturday away. I don't know when I'm coming back, but I'll call you before I leave. And I don't know why Cory won't talk to you. I know he's mad at me, but he usually doesn't take it out on you too. So I don't know how to help you."
"He called me a slut."
I nearly dropped the phone. "He what?!"
"He was so mad. All I did was try to talk to him when he came downstairs, but he just brushed me off. I never give up, so I kept bothering him, and then he just snapped and yelled 'Leave me alone, you slut!' and slammed the door. And now he won't talk to me, he won't answer my calls or my texts, and when you didn't either, I though you two were both ignoring me and that I did something wrong..." Her voice started sounding watery.
"I'm sorry, Zephy. You didn't do anything wrong. Something happened on Friday night that I can't remember, but whatever it was, it really pissed off Cory. He wouldn't tell me what it was before, but he said when I come back he'll tell me, so i'll fill you in as soon as I know. I'll try to find out why he's mad at you too. Alright?"
"(Sniff sniff) Thanks, Sean."

We hung up, and I went off in search of Mr. Sinclair. I found him sitting at his desk, grading papers and listening to "Island in the Sun" (by Weezer) on the radio. He was humming and tapping his pen on the desk. The guy looked genuinely happy, not the overexcited happy that he puts on for school. I found myself singing along, and he looked up and smiled at me.

"Mr. Sinclair, do you think you could drive me home later?"
"Sure, Sean. How long do you plan on staying here? I don't mind, just want to know when I can take a break from grading papers."
"I dunno. If you don't mind, then I'm not really in a rush to get home."
"That's fine."
There was a brief silence before another Weezer song came on - Pork & Beans - and he placed another graded quiz on top of a stack.
"Need any help?"
He looked up. "Sure. This doesn't count towards your extra credit work though."
I rolled my eyes.

It was a few minutes of contentment, just grading papers and listening to the radio. My eyes caught sight of my paper as he pulled it out of a pile. I found myself watching him as he looked over my answers, then wrote a B at the top and put it in the graded pile. I snatched it up and stared at it.

"I got a B?"
"Yes. Why are you so surprised?"
"Because I thought I failed this quiz."
"Did you study?"
"Yeah."
"Did you understand what you read?"
"Yeah."
"Did you remember any of it?"
"Well yeah."
"Then why would you fail?"
I wanted to slap him. "Because I'm nearly failing your stupid class!"
"And why are you failing?"
"I don't know, because I don't pay attention?"
"In class. You know the material, Sean. You just suck at staying focused in class. When you take a test, there is nothing but silence. When you listen to a lecture or a worksheet, you have the chance to talk and lose focus. Just treat every moment like a test, and you'll pass."
I thought about what he said.

Maybe I am being tested. For what exactly, I don't know. But I know that I'm failing. Maybe I do need to focus. Ignore the little things in my life, like who I like or hate, what people think of me, stuff like that. I'm used to being the class clown, the jock, the kid everyone sees but knows nothing about. High school is all about appearance, at least when you're dealing with kids. When you talk about grades and stuff, then yeah it's about focus and studying. But since I normally suck at both focusing and studying, I guess I only thought about the appearance part of it. And look where that's gotten me. My best friend hates me. I thought I hated Zephy, but I was just comforting her a few minutes ago. The teacher I hated is now the closest person to me right now. My dad hates me for being gay and I can't change that. I always wanted to please my mom, and now she's gone. So who am I still trying to impress? Myself? Well that's not going too well. Maybe I should just start over. Take all of the pieces, scatter them in front of me, and start all over.

"Mr. Sinclair." He looked up. I took a deep breath, before I laid down my first piece. "I'm gay."
He slightly smiled and nodded. "Are you happy about that?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "I am."
"That's great, Sean."
"Can I tell you some other stuff about me?"
"Of course, Sean. I'm all ears, but no mouth. What happens here, stays here."
"Alright. Thanks." He nodded. "Well, it started in 1st grade. That's when I first met him. We became best friends soon after that. And then when we were 11, we went to summer camp, and that's when I learned that I was in love with him..."