Opposites Attract

Here I am, outside of my house. My dad isn't home - his car is gone, so he must be at work right now. But the house isn't empty. Cory is there, waiting for me to come in and act like nothing happened. I told Mr. Sinclair everything, except for the party. He knows that Cory and I had a fight, but he's not prying into it. It's been a long day and I feel exhausted. Spilling your guts can do that to you.

I put my key in the door. Cory looked up at me immediately as I stepped in. I kept a neutral face, but my heart was racing. I just felt like now that I had told somebody that I was gay and that I was in love with Cory, the whole world was gonna know. If Cory finds out, I'm screwed.

We sat down on the couch. He avoided eye contact, his hands were fidgeting. I placed my hand on his to calm him down, which worked, because then he took a deep breath and looked at me.

"I have a lot to say, so don't interrupt." I nodded. "Alright. Well, at the party, you got really drunk - I mean shit-faced drunk, and you did some things that you wouldn't normally do.

You were dancing with Zephrinity... and then you two kissed. And when you came over to me, we went upstairs, and we talked and then... you said something... you said... you said that y-y-you were gay for me. And then you started kissing me and it just got out of hand, so I stopped you. You puked and then passed out.

I... I still can't believe that happened, but it did. And at the time, I was scared - it came out of nowhere, and you didn't give me anytime to think. But I've been thinking about it, and I might have an answer to all of this. But first, I need to know how you feel."

No... that can't be right. I... I didn't...

But he wouldn't lie about this.

I just ruined everything.

I'm so far past screwed.

My heart was pounding in my chest, and I felt nauseous again. I opened my mouth to speak, but only my composure flew out. My nightmare just came true. And you would think that the first thing I would do is justify what I did: either deny it and say I was drunk, or accept it and tell him that it's the truth. But I couldn't do anything but close my mouth and stare at him.

"I didn't expect you to answer right away, Sean." he sighed. "It's just, I'm really confused here. Not just because of how I feel, but also because of how you might feel. I mean, it's not like you only kissed me. You kissed Zephrinity, too."

I hadn't even paid attention to that part. Did I really screw up that badly? Oh man, I wonder if she remembers that. How did I ruin two friendships in one night?

And he's just smiling, that same damn comforting smile that always made me felt guilty, stopped me from doing something wrong, got me to tell the truth.

How can I tell the truth now?! Do I even want to? I mean sure, he's acting like it's okay, that best friends normally kiss each other, especially when their the same gender and both supposedly straight. But what happens after that? We can't really pretend like this never happened. And let's suppose we dated (in my deluded fantasy) - nothing would be the same, and it couldn't work out. Friends are meant to be friends, and in our school, gays are meant to stay in the closet. Nothing good can come from whatever answer I give now.

"Cory..." I started, "I'm sorry for what I did, and I know I probably just screwed everything up, but-"

The door slammed shut, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't jump and scream like a girl. My dad walked in, giving me a weird look at my reaction. I bit my lip and looked down as he growled.

"I came by to get my tools. The truck's been sounding funny. Cory's here again? When are you two not together?"
"He was just leaving, dad." I jumped up and grabbed Cory.

My dad rolled his eyes and grabbed his toolbox. I shoved Cory to the door, dreading his expression right now almost as much as I desired my dad's insults to wait until Cory was out of the house.

"Don't make the fag leave on my account." He chuckled.

I froze. That was the first time he's ever said anything to Cory. And Cory, being the idiot he is, always has to pick a fight with the grizzly bear.

"What?"
"Oh don't get offended. It's just a joke."
"Really? I didn't realize. Oh and I just forgot to laugh." he said sarcastically and folded his arms.
My dad eyed him, then looked at me. "Whatever. Just don't trash the place while I'm gone." He left without looking back.

Cory spun around to me. "Sean, what the hell was that? Your dad was so rude! Does he seriously have a problem with me because he thinks I'm gay?"
I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt like Cory and I had switched places - he was the macho defender, and I was the one who was confused and hyperventilating.
"Cory, you have to go." I said in a rush while pushing him through the door.
"Sean... has he ever said things like that to you?"
I couldn't take his sad eyes. I slammed the door in his face.

I felt my body shutting down as I slid to the floor. How did everything in my life come crashing down from one party? I though I could just escape for one night, but now I've got nowhere to go. I shouldn't have told Mr. Sinclair. I shouldn't have told anyone. I should have just kept it to myself, not even acknowledge it. Maybe I could've faked being straight for the rest of my life and avoided all of this. Maybe... I don't know.

What I do know is that I am never drinking another beer for the rest of my life.

***

"Boy I hear you in my dreams
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again..."

I didn't go to school on Monday. I know I'm probably being over-dramatic, but I couldn't face them - Cory, Zephrinity, Mr. Sinclair... and what if people from the party found out what happened? I'm honestly not sure which would be worse: everyone assuming I was gay by kissing Cory, or everyone thinking Zephy and I were secretly in love with each other and we just pretended to be at each others throats.

Dad did try to see what was wrong me me. I didn't bother faking, I just said I didn't feel well. When Cory came by as he did every morning, my dad told him the same thing - I wasn't feeling well. We all knew I was lying, but Cory didn't object, he just left along with my dad. I stayed in bed all day, aching for a beer, even though I officially banned it from my life.

After what I guess was hours, but felt like days, I heard the door open downstairs. I rolled over in bed. If it's my dad, then he'll get what he needs and leaves. If it's a burglar, well they'd probably do the same thing. I closed my eyes and pulled the cover over my head.

"Get your damn ass outta bed." The cover was yanked off of me, and my eyes widened when I saw Cory wearing his gym clothes. I blinked while in a blur, he threw the cover on the floor, grabbed my backpack and my gym clothes, shoved my gym clothes in my bag, and pulled me out of bed.

I couldn't say anything, I was stunned.

"Look Sean, I understand things are really weird right now, but I'll be damned if I let you stay home feeling sorry for yourself and let you slack off in school, so put on some pants and get your ass downstairs before I tell Zephrinity to get out the car and come get you herself."

My jaw dropped to the floor. Cory just rolled his eyes and threw a pair of jeans at me from off my floor.

"Put them on now."
I shook my head. "Wait, what? You can't just storm in here and tell me to-"
He shoved me back on the bed and pinned me down. My eyes popped out of my head as he planted a kiss on my lips before moving down and forcing the jeans onto my legs. To say my mind was confused would be the understatement of the year. He got up and threw, yes threw a pair of sneakers at me that barely missed my head. He went in my drawer and tossed some socks at my head - at least they were soft. I didn't know what else to do but obey, so I pulled on my socks and shoes and then the jacket that he held in his arms. I took my backpack from him and walked in the direction of his pointing finger - downstairs. Zephy was in the driver's seat - the engine still running. I didn't get a hi or an explanation, just a "get in the back" and a gesture of her thumb. I did as Cory climbed into the passenger seat, and then we headed to school.

My brain felt like it was caught in a tornado - I was all turned around and I couldn't see clearly, and I was caught with no chance of escaping. The drive was annoyingly silent, and I needed noise. But I guess I shouldn't have asked them, "Do you two hate me?", because Zephy stopped the car, leaned back and smacked me while Cory just shook his head as if I just asked what color the sky was. I rubbed my cheek as she put the car back in drive.

"Okay, so are you two even going to speak to me at all? I know I messed up bad, but are you really gonna shut me out like that?"
"You mean like you did?" Zephy said, not taking her eyes off the road.

I looked down as I remembered I did disappear for nearly two days. They must have really freaked out. No wonder they aren't talking to me.

"Do I even need to say how fucking sorry I am?" I leaned forward.
"No, but it'd be nice to hear it anyway." Cory muttered.
"I am so completely fucking sorry. I was being totally selfish and I so do not deserve such awesome friends like you."
Zephy looked at me in the mirror. "You count me as a friend, asshole?"
"Of course, swamp thing. Yeah, you irritate the hell outta me, but what can I say? You're the girl I love to hate."
She gave me a weird smile before looking back at the road.
"And Cory, I don't even know how I could possibly apologize for all of this. I can't believe you're even talking to me right now, let alone helping me out."
"I could never hate you, Sean. No matter how badly you screw up. You're flaws are what make you you."
"Thank you?" I said confused. He smiled and ruffled my hair.
"That doesn't mean you're off the hook. I want an answer soon."
"Answer to what?"
"Who you really like. I wanna know if you like girls or boys or both, and if you have feelings for me or Zephy. And I wanna know what's going on between you and your dad. And I'm not letting you change the subject if it's brought up. I'm suspending all best friend activities until I get an answer. That means no hanging out after school, no talking during class, no Friday sleepovers, no teasing Zephy behind her back-"
"Hey! You little bastards." She grumbled, gripping the steering wheel.
"And no more 'Seanie'."
"You're gonna stop calling me Seanie?"
"Starting right now." He folded his arms. He meant business.

I actually pouted, and not on purpose either. I sat back in my seat and pouted, like a little kid who just got scolded and had his toys taken away. Let's face it - I was just grounded by my best friend.

But maybe... I mean, I know I've been dreading this all my life, but maybe I should just tell him. I mean, I pretty much already did that. But... if I'm really gonna spill my guts to him, then I want to do it right. It's not every day you get to tell your 'straight' best friend that you've had a crush on him since you were 11 that you're in love with him.

I bit down on my lip to calm my nerves before I said the words that sent me on the path of no return:

"Okay Cory. I'll tell you everything - even about my dad. But... can we... I-" my voice betrayed me and caught in my throat. I could see Zephy looking in the rear view mirror at me in anticipation, and Cory turned around to watch me sweat and shake. "Damnit Cory, you know what I'm trying to say! Let's just go on a fucking date!!!" I shouted and slumped back in my seat, feeling a short wave of relief before a wave of frustration came over me.

He giggled - yes the bastard fucking giggled and looked at Zephy. She grinned and pulled into the school parking lot.
"Took you long enough, Seanie. Tomorrow night, pick me up at seven. And wear something tight." He flashed a oddly flirtatious smile before hopping out of the car with Zephy, leaving me completely dumbfounded. I watched his ass swish all the way up the school steps.

Red gym shorts never looked so sexy.