Opposites Attract

As you can probably figure out, I'm really nervous about tonight. Why did it have to be soon? Maybe so I wouldn't have time to chicken out. But I don't know if I can do it. Can I really go up to him and tell him that I'm in love with him? I mean, it was hard enough telling Mr. Sinclair. But maybe it'll be easier with Cory. I tell him pretty much everything else. I can't help it - those stupid eyes of his can get you to confess to a murder you didn't commit.

Zephy and her annoying friends have not stopped squealing all day. At first she was excited that Cory and I were "finally going out", which she is not allowed to tell another living soul. But then her attention was directed to that guy she's taking on the date with us.

Oh didn't I mention? She also assumed that making us go alone would only make things more awkward or something, so she made it a double date. As if I wasn't already embarrassed. What am I supposed to tell this guy - mine and Cory's dates never showed up, so we're just gonna be each others date?

And what if this whole thing is a disaster? I can't ruin this. This is my last chance - this moment will change everything. Friends, boyfriends... what if we never talk to each other again?

Okay, calm down Sean. It's just one date. It's not a big deal, right? You've done this before. Granted, it's never been with a guy before. Just annoying chicks who were only into you because you were a muscle-head. I'm not a genius, but I know when I'm being used - either for popularity or sex. I'm not your plaything. I have feelings, too. So, I guess in a way I'm been kind of shoved in this direction.

But why did it have to be my best friend? This isn't right. This isn't a love story - how is this gonna end? If I were the author, I'd put my pen down right now, because I couldn't handle the guilt of causing the characters the pain of heartbreak.

***

I stood outside with Cory at his mom's car. We were just waiting for Zephy to show up with her date. And yes, we were avoiding eye contact, or at least I was. Cory was... smiling. A lot. It's a little... uncomfortable, only because I didn't expect him to smile. I always imagined that when the day came that I finally told Cory how I felt (on my death bed), he'd be disgusted by me. But so far, he hasn't said a word about it. He's just acting like... nothing's new. I don't want him to try and act like nothing's wrong. I've always done that for him because it helps him - it's doesn't help me. It's like hiding the truth from me. I want to know what's going on his head right now.

I mustered up my courage to at least look at him. He was smiling up at the sky. So many times I've seen him like that and wondered what he was thinking, while all I could really think about was how cute and happy he looked. I used to wonder if I ever looked like that - peaceful and happy.

"Cory?"
He looked at me, his hair falling perfectly over his eyes. "Yeah, Sean?"
"How do you always look so innocent?"
He tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"You're doing it right now. You just look so... happy. Like nothing ever bothers you. How can do that?"
He laughed a little then shook his head. "I didn't realize I did that. Um... I dunno. Maybe because, unlike you, I don't try to get on the teacher's bad side, and I control my temper."
"No, that isn't it. I just think you're too fucking innocent. You need to get laid or something."
He laughed and I felt the tension ease away. For now, he was still my friend, and I was gonna make the most of it.

Zephy and her guy walked up. She was putting on more lip gloss while he was looking down, so I didn't get a good look at his face until he stood in front of me.

"Sean?" His eyes lit up in a disturbing way.
"...Forrest? Hey. I haven't seen you in awhile."
"Not since summer camp, huh?"
"Yeah." I tried not to glare at him.
"So, you guys know each other?" Zephy looked at us curiously.
"Uh yeah. We all went to summer camp together. Sean and I didn't really get along that well."
"You locked me in the shed with a skunk and left me in there all night. It was freezing, it smelled horrible, and I missed dinner."
"That was years ago, Sean."
"You also rammed into my canoe and made me fall in the lake-"
"I know but-"
"And let's not even revisit the camp fire incident."
He sighed. "I know. I was a terrible kid. And I'm sorry, I really am. But that was years ago. Can't we let bygones be bygones?" He held out a hand.
I stared at it for a long time until Cory nudged me. I gritted my teeth and squeezed his hand.

Cory knows how much I hate him. Forrest has done a lot more to me before, some stuff that Cory doesn't even know about. But if he doesn't want me to cause a scene this time, then I'll honor my best friend's wishes... for now.

Zephy eyed both of us, probably wondering how badly this was gonna turn out. Cory just shook his head and opened the car door.

I was driving, since I was the one who asked him on a date. And I have the perfect place to take him. The zoo. It may seem a little silly, but some of our best memories have either come from summer camp or the zoo.

See, when we were kids, we were a lot more mischievous, especially at the zoo. We had a way with animals. For example, we got along really well with the monkeys - we both had fun throwing things. At the lions den, Cory and I would compete to see who's roar was best. The lions always had us beat, but I still say I was a close second. Oh, and the most thrilling zoo experience was when we somehow 'accidentally' let a baby alligator out of it's habitat. It's not like anybody got hurt, and it was just a baby. We did scare a lot of people though, especially when it got into the woman's bathroom. They shut down the whole place that day, and we would've been banned for life if it wasn't for Cory and his ridiculously innocent face. All he had to do was smile and say that I was with him the whole time - we never got caught for that one. Okay, so we aren't kids anymore, but it's the sentimental part that counts, right?

My heart swelled when I saw his eyes light up at the sight of the zoo. The grin on his face really made my day. Cory practically jumped out of the car when we parked, and even Zephy seemed happy with this place. Forrest looked a little confused, but I couldn't care less about what he thinks.

"Okay, well, Cory and I are gonna go off on our own, so let's just meet at the cafe at 6:30." I set my watch.
Forrest was still giving me a weird look, but I forgot all about it when Cory grabbed my hand and pulled me off towards the giraffes.

I just hope my hands aren't sweating too much.

The Lincoln Park Zoo is great in the winter, if you're used to the cold weather. They have lights and decorations all over the trees, and an ice sculptor who works by the front entrance. I can see he's already made a penguin, but I don't know what he's working on now. Some of the habitats are inside heated buildings like the lions and other wild cats. And every time we come here, Cory begs his mom to get him one of the stuffed animals. She always says no because it's a little pricey, and I didn't think it was possible, but there is one person who can resist Cory's innocent face: his mom.

We went to the lions first. We were both grinning, because we knew we were about to look like complete idiots. We both roared, earning a roar from one of the lions and numerous weird looks from adults.

"I totally won that one." I smiled.
"No way, I won."
"I've always beat you, and I will continue to beat you."
"But I've gotten better at it. I was closer to beating you this time." He pouted.
I sighed and put my arm around his shoulders. "You were better than the lion, Cor."
He smiled, his face flushing slightly when we realized how close we were to each other. The lion roared again and snapped us out of it. We both put on our most immature faces at the overgrown cat and walked off.

It was like a walk down memory lane, seeing the tigers, the monkeys (don't worry, most of them were asleep so we didn't throw anything), the rhinos, and the giraffes. We both got an evil gleam in our eyes as we stepped into the reptile area. Rattlesnakes, lizards and crocodiles... it was 3rd grade all over again.

Unfortunately, one of the employees recognized us and kept glaring at us the whole time. Cory and I just laughed and walked around, pretending to be completely focused on the tree lights. Of course, we couldn't actually 'liberate' any of the animals anymore, we'd probably go to jail. But we could still make the guy think we were going to, and totally freak him out. He never took his eyes off of us, and when Cory and I saw the crocodile, we couldn't help the grins that spread across our faces. That's when we knew we had to leave, before the guy called security or something. It would have been awesome to set the croc free, but like I said before: when little kids do it, it's naughty but slightly adorable, but when teens do it, it's a crime.

After we left there, we wandered around for awhile. The birds, the fish and the bears were less interesting, so we didn't spend much time there. But when Cory spotted the zebras, he ran over there and stood admiring them. He loves zebras, it's his favorite animal. I never understood why - they don't really do anything, and it's confusing trying to figure out what they are. It's like: horse or donkey or both, black w/ white stripes, white w/ black stripes, and I don't even know what noise they make. But 'to each his own', I guess (now that I finally understand what that means).

He leaned against the gate, watching them roam around and eat. Subconsciously, I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He jumped about a foot in the air, and I backed off, blinking. At the time, I honestly didn't realize what I was doing - it was just like an impulse. He turned around; he was blushing now. But then he smiled a little and pulled me back over to him, so I slowly put my arms around him again. It was a little awkward at first, since I realized what I was doing now, but eventually it just felt natural. He'd shiver from the cold and I would lean in closer and hug him tighter. I rested my head on his shoulder. I think my breath hitting his neck only made him shiver even more, but that made me feel a little better. This was turning out a lot better than I expected.

"S-S-Sean?"
"Yeah, Cor?" I breathed.
He shivered again and bit his lip. "I... I want to apologize."
"For what?"
"Forcing you to choose so soon. That wasn't fair. You don't have to tell me anything."
I looked up at him. "Cory, why would you wait until now to tell me that?"
"Well, b-b-b-because I d-d-didn't want you to avoid the subject. I knew that if I didn't give you an ultimatum you would never had said anything about it, and I didn't want things to be awkward between us forever. You didn't even come to school that day because of me. If this is gonna ruin our friendship after so long, then maybe-"

I turned him around and kissed him. I felt a mix of surprise and relief surge through me, along with a kiss that I can only compare to fireworks on the Fourth of July. It never occurred to me that he might feel the same way - scared that this wouldn't work out. But now that I know that I'm not the only one afraid, well it means that this isn't something I don't have to go through alone.

I pulled away, regrettably. "I'm not confused."
He shook his head. "Wait, what?"
"I'm not confused, Cory. I never was. I've... I've liked you for a long time... and I've been in love with you since 6th grade. I didn't want to tell you, because I was thinking the same thing - it would ruin our friendship. I didn't want you to avoid me, or even hate me. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you at all. But... well in the past few days, everything has gotten completely messed up, and I can't keep it a secret anymore. It's too exhausting trying to keep this up when all we have to do is kiss, and then BAM - instantly we're gay, but then the next day we're not. Our friendship was never gonna be the same whether I told you the truth or not, so I might as well just have said it. I just hope that you aren't mad at me."

He stood there, shocked. I was afraid he wasn't breathing for a minute, but he took a huge breath, pulled out his inhaler, and in a few minutes he was back to normal.

"Sean... what the hell?"
I bit my lip and prepared for rejection.
"How the hell could you keep that from me for so long? I just realized I might be gay like a month ago, and you've been keeping this a secret for five years? Wait, more than five years? How long have you-"
"Wait, you're gay now?"
He face-palmed. "Yes, you dumb-ass. And you're to blame. If we hadn't kissed that day at my house..."
"At our sleepover?"
"Yes. It's all your fault."
"But you kissed me!"
"Yeah, but... you shouldn't have been so... so..."
"So what?"
He looked at me, a smile spreading on his face just as his face turned a deep pink. "So damn cute."
My eyes bugged out of my head.
"Sean, I don't know how you do it. If you really have had a crush on me for over five years, how have you stopped yourself from doing something like kissing me? It kills me everyday having to sit next to you and keep at least some self-restraint."

I was absolutely speechless.

He laughed and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"Sean, just kiss me."

Well, I can still do that.

My lips met his in an instant. My heart exploded like a firework, every second longer was another burst. I pressed him against the zebra gate and held him there for a few more seconds, until a (very annoying) zebra nudged Cory's head, making him break the kiss. He turned around and laughed (I didn't find it funny), then leaned in closer to me. The zebra observed us for a minute before walking away uninterested. Cory sighed and smiled at me.

"I'll remember this day forever, Sean. Thank you."

I smiled back and hugged him.

"Me too, Cory."

***

We were pretty much in a daze after leaving the zebra habitat, and just wandered around the zoo until Zephy and Forrest spotted us and came over.

"We were supposed to meet at the cafe 20 minutes ago. Where were you guys?"
Cory just giggled, and even I couldn't help but giggled. Zephy raised an eyebrow, and Forrest looked at us as if we were high.
"You two didn't let any animals loose again, did you?"
"No." Cory giggled. "We made friends with a zebra."
"You made friends with the zebra. I didn't like it."
"Aw, come on Sean. He was friendly."
"He was a c*ckblocker."
Zephy's eyes widened. "HUH?! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO DO?!"
"Zephy, shut the fuck up. Why do you always have to yell?" I groaned.
"What happened?! Cory. Cafe. Now!!!" She dragged him off, that goofy smile still on his face.
My smile faded once I realized I was left alone with Forrest. He still looked confused and had his hands in his pockets.
"So, you and Cory are-"
"Friends." I blinked, realizing how fast I answered that - it must have been a reflex or habit by now. Were we still friends?
"Ah. So nothing's really changed since I've been gone."
"What do you mean gone? We go to the same school."
"Yeah but we don't hang out."
"Because I hate you."
"It was a long time ago, Sean. Get over it."
"I can't help if I can hold a grudge. Anyway, what are you doing with Zephrinity?"
"I like her, and no I'm not trying to pull some prank on you or anything. I didn't even know you two knew each other."
"I'm not gonna trust you around her."
"When have I ever done anything wrong... besides pulling pranks on you?"
"You are just an all-around bad person. You just don't show it to anybody, but I know it. Look, I don't like the creature that much, but in some way, she's still my friend, and Cory's too. So you don't lay a hand on her. And if you hurt her, I'll return the favor."
"I swear, I'm not gonna do anything to hurt her. I've grown up, Sean."

I beg to differ.

Out of nowhere, we heard a loud, shrill scream. Forrest jumped out of his skin, but I was only a little startled. I can't say I was surprised - that was definitely Zephrinity, so I'm guessing Cory told her what happened.

"What was that?!" Forrest clutched his chest.
I smirked. "Your future girlfriend."
He blinked.

After a few minutes, Cory and Zephy walked out of the cafe. Cory stood by my side and leaned his head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around his waist. Zephy nodded in approval before walking over to Forrest. He smiled slightly and gave her a quick peck before staring at me and Cory.

"Well, Sean. You do know what happens next, right?"
"No, Zephrinity, I do not. Please enlighten me." I said sarcastically.
She leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "You have to ask him out."
"I thought I did that already." I whispered back.
She smacked me in the head. "Ask him to be your boyfriend, you idiot."
"Ow. I thought we had to go on another date."
"You don't have to. You only go on another date if you want to get to know the person better before you take the plunge. You two have known each other since 1st grade! So stop stalling!" She whisper-yelled.

I rolled my eyes and looked over at Cory. He wasn't paying attention to the conversation, his eyes were closed and he was just leaning on my shoulder.

"I can't."
"What do you mean you can't? You said you liked him."
"I know, but... it's one thing to tell him. It's another thing to tell the world."
She blinked, then nodded in understanding. I nudged Cory and he stood up, looking a little sad that I had removed his pillow. He did look a little tired though.
"Hey, Zeph, I think I'm gonna take Cory home."
"But he has the car."
"I'll come back and take you guys home when you're ready. Just send me a text."
"Alright. Bye Cory." She hugged him. "Bye Sean. Be nice to him."
"Of course. I'm always a nice person." I grinned.
She rolled her eyes and shoved me, then grabbed Forrest's hand and dragged him off to the bird habitat.

Cory took out his car keys and we went back to the car. I drove him home and parked in the driveway. We sat with the radio on turned down low for a while. I wanted to take the next step and ask him out. But I wasn't ready to make it public about my sexuality. What would the jocks think? What would my dad think?

Ironically, 'If I Had You' by Adam Lambert was playing. I sighed and turned off the radio. Cory turned to face me.

"What's on your mind?"
"Well, you know how I feel about you. And I would never want to change how I feel. I'm glad that you finally know the truth. But..."
"You aren't ready to come out of the closet yet?"
I nodded. He reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze.
"You don't have to. Hey, it's been a long day. Let's just keep this to ourselves for awhile, okay?"
I looked up. "No. You're dying to tell somebody else. I can see it in your eyes. You can tell your family if you want to. Just... don't tell the kids at school, okay?"
"Don't worry, I won't. And I'll make sure Zephy doesn't either. And I won't say anything to your dad."
I sighed and hit my head on the steering wheel.
"You don't have to tell him, Sean. People aren't always going to agree with your decisions, and sometimes you just have to know when to ignore them and do what you want. That is, if you want to..."
"I want to, I really do. I would love to ask you out right now. But it's just too complicated."
"You were gonna ask me out?"
"Wasn't I supposed to?"
"I-I don't know. You could have. I wouldn't object to it."
"But if I don't have to ask you... then what am I supposed to do... ugh this is making my brain hurt."
He patted me on the back. "Calm down, muscle-head, you don't want to strain that last brain cell of yours."
I shoved him, which was a huge mistake, because that only initiated a shoving battle followed by a tickle fight in Cory's mom's cramped car. I honestly can't tell you who won the fight. I was too distracted by my new boyfriend's soft lips.