When Flying Feels Like Falling

Just as I had predicted, Tom had in fact come to my aunt and uncle's house to see me later that day. And, of course, I had given him the same excuse I'd given to everyone else about the whole fainting thing. Lack of food and girl stuff.

Although I was sure that me not eating had also contributed to my fainting, Oliver was still the main contributor, thus causing me to lie through my teeth to my family and boyfriend.

It was funny how Tom had almost the same reaction as Eric and Liam when I mentioned the girl stuff, only he didn't say anything. His face was enough to make me laugh. He had also given me a bit of grief about the not eating thing and I was forced to chomp down on pepperoni pizza with Tom at my side and my aunt at my other.

After I had reluctantly eaten about four slices and topped it off with my aunt's apple pie, Tom and I had gone to my room, where we got to talking about normal things. He'd told me about some party that Matty would be throwing at his house the next day and asked if I wanted to come.

Of course, this had triggered my nerves. No doubt Oliver would be there and I was definitely not planning on seeing him again anytime soon. There was no way I could face him after what happened, especially with Tom around.

At first I'd told him I wasn't really up for it. I'd just about had it with parties. Everytime I went to one, something bad always happened. But when I told Tom I didn't want to go, he tried convincing me otherwise, stating that soon I'd be leaving Sheffield and we wouldn't see each other again for a while. He said he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible.

That was enough to convince me. He was right. We had only a few more weeks until I'd go back to Orlando and I wasn't even sure when I'd be seeing him again. Just thinking about that made me sadder than I already was. It was impossible to look at Tom without remembering the mistake I'd done with Oliver. Although we just kissed, it still pained me.

I was desperately trying to forget that little mistake, though it was clearly something unforgettable. But I had to try. And try hard. I wanted to spend the rest of my summer with Tom. After all, he deserved my full undivided attention. Granted, I sure as hell didn't deserve him.

I was now in my room, staring bluntly out the window, while tapping the tips of my fingers impatiently against the glass. I had called Manda a few minutes ago and asked her to come over as soon as she could. I needed to talk to somebody and I knew she was the right person. I could trust her.

There was a sudden knock on my door and I instantly turned around, watching it open, followed by Manda stepping into my room. She had her hair up in a messy ponytail and was sporting a pair of pink sweat paints, a baggy hoodie and converses. I'd probably given her little time to change, since I'd specifically asked her to come fast.

"Oh, good, you're here," I said, sighing in relief.

"Loreh, is something wrong? Yeh kinda sounded desperate on the phone," She stated warily.

"Everything's wrong, Manda," I muttered, walking to my door and closing it. Then I turned around and leaned against it. "I'm in the middle of a crisis."

"Jesus, now yeh scaring me. What's going on?" She inquired.

I breathed out and motioned for her to sit on my bed. She did so, still giving me a concerned/confused look.

"Manda, I did something bad," I spoke quietly, biting my lower lip.

She narrowed her eyes. "Something bad?"

"Yes." I began pacing around my room.

"How bad?" Manda questioned, watching me.

"Extremely bad," I replied, biting my nails.

"Oh shit," She mumbled. "Did yeh kill someone?"

I glanced at her strangely. "No."

"Shoplift?"

"No."

"Set a box of kittens on fire?"

I paused. "No."

"Stab a dog?"

I sighed loudly. "No."

"Blimey, is it worse than all the things I just said?" She asked shakily as her hand flew over her mouth.

"Not worse," I replied quietly. "Just...equally bad?"

She raised her brow as her hand returned to her lap. "Did yeh join a cult?"

I buried my face in my hands. "No."

"Loreh, love, we could do this all day but I'm gonna need yeh to at least give me a hint," She stated with a light chuckle. "I'm not a mind readah."

I uncovered my face, running both my hands through my hair before staring intently at her. "I kissed Oliver."

Her eyes widened. "Shit, that's bad."

"I know!" I whined. "Manda, you have no idea how this is killing me!"

"Oh, Loreh!" She shook her head. "When did this happen? Bettah yet, how did this happen?!"

I gulped. "It was two days ago at his house."

"His house?"

"Yeah. I had to spend the night because of the stupid thunderstorm, which by the way, was the works of the evil gods of irony. I swear, it's like they have something against me!" I shook my head.

She eyed me strangely. "Hold up. Spend the night? And where the hell was Tom?!"

"At Lee's."

"Oh sweet motha of Jesus!" She covered her mouth in shock. "So yeh were all alone in that big 'ole house with Olivah?!"

I nodded sadly. "Yes."

She suddenly stood from the bed and took hold of both my arms, pulling me to sit next to her. Then she gripped my shoulders firmly. "Loreh, love, I want yeh to tell me everything. And when I say everything, I mean don't spare aneh details!"

I looked down at my trembly hands, eyeing the mood ring. "Okay." I exhaled deeply. "I was sort of freaking out because of the storm and Oliver wasn't really much of a help. If anything, he only made me more freaked than I already was. Then the phone rang and it was Tom. He kept saying that the storm would only get worse and it was better if I just stayed the night. That had totally freaked me out even more."

"Shit!" She shook her head. "So spending the night there was Tom's bloodeh idea? Wow."

"Yeah. Wow," I muttered wryly. "After we talked, I sort of tried convincing Oliver that my staying over wasn't exactly necessary but the storm really was getting worse so it was kind of a lost battle for me."

Manda's face held a look of sympathy. "Go on."

"Well, after I realized there was no way out of it, Oliver was gracious enough to lend me his pajamas. Simple wifebeater and shorts." I shrugged. "After I had them on, he asked if I was tired and I said no. So then he asked if I wanted to watch a movie and I said yes."

"What movie?" Manda asked, furrowing her brows.

I looked at her quizically. "Does it matter?"

"Of course. I said spare no details."

I sighed. "The Exorcist."

"Ugh, typical Olivah." She rolled her eyes. "Horror movie buff."

"Anyways," I gave her a stern look, "we were watching the movie and I got a bit scared and before I knew it, his arms were around me."

"Then yeh kissed him?" She guessed, widening her eyes.

"No," I said. "I mean, things got awkward. Well, for me, anyway. Oliver couldn't have been more casual and nonchalant. Nothing ever really seems to bug him that much. God, sometimes I wish I was like that," I mused with a shake of my head, mostly to myself.

"Loreh, love, back to the story," Manda said, snapping her fingers.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Well, after the movie ended, I was relieved. All I wanted to do was go to bed and then wake up and leave first thing in the morning and forget about all the awkwardness." I let out a humorless laugh. "The gods just couldn't let me have my way."

"Shit, what happened?" She asked curiously.

"I got up off the couch to stretch, which only resulted in me tripping like an idiot--"

"On what?" Manda interjected.

"I don't know, a shoe?" I sighed. "Anyways, I tripped and Oliver caught me just in time."

"And then yeh kissed?"

I squinted my eyes. "No."

"Oh." She smiled sheepishly. "Proceed."

"Okay, so he caught me and I felt like a clumsy moron. The awkwardness became simply unbearable. So, we went upstairs to go to bed. He went to his room and I went to Tom's. Just a few minutes after I'd lied down, I heard Oliver screaming all of a sudden."

Manda gasped. "Why was he screaming?"

"He was trying to close his window because it busted open by the strong wind," I explained. "So yeah, when I got to his room, I helped him shut it."

"Then yeh kissed?"

"No." I rolled my eyes at my friend's constant interruption. "When we finally got it closed, we were all wet because of the rain that came in the room. Oliver looked like a wet puppy dog and I just started laughing. Then I kinda teased him about his hair and proceeded to, um...to." I trailed off, fidgeting with my fingers.

"Kiss him?" Her eyes widened again.

"No. I messed it up. Y'know, played with it," I explained.

She looked confused. "Yeh played with his hair?"

"Yeah."

"Why would yeh play with his hair?"

"Manda, focus on the big picture!" I sighed.

"Okay, okay. Then what happened?" She crossed her legs.

"Then, he started playing with my hair too and we sort of started wrestling, trying to see who could mess each other's hair up more."

"Oh lord," She mumbled. "Then what?"

"Well, I sort of tripped again and fell back with Oliver right on top of me." I bit my lip.

"Shit. Then yeh kissed?"

"No."

"Jesus, this is a big storeh." She shook her head.

"Well, you said spare no details and that's exactly what I'm doing," I muttered.

"Right, right. Continue," She chuckled, waving a hand.

"Okay so, he was on top of me and he looked, I don't know, frozen. He just kinda kept staring at me and he wouldn't move. So then I told him to get off and he did and then he helped me up. After that, I noticed he was still kinda looking at me funny and so I asked him if he was okay and he said he was fine and then........" I gulped.

Manda looked at me expectantly with her wide blue eyes.

"He kissed me, Manda."

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "But wait a minute. Didn't yeh say before that yeh kissed him?"

"Well, yeah, the second time," I said quietly.

Her mouth gaped. "Second time?! Yeh mean yeh guys kissed twice?!"

I frowned. "And maybe another time after that."

She gasped theatrically. "Loreh!"

"I know, I know! Evil!" I pointed at myself.

She shook her head. "Well, at least this isn't as bad as setting a box of kittens on fire."

I buried my face in my hands.

Manda chuckled lightly. "Finish the storeh."

I exhaled loudly. "Okay, so after he kissed me, I totally freaked out and started yelling at him, asking why he did that. He kept saying he was sorry and I just flipped out even more. So then, he began yelling at me too and everything got a bit too dramatic. I swear, it was like a damn soap opera. And after yelling a few more times, he just flat out told me that he.....uh.....liked me."

Manda's jaw dropped. "Shit."

"After that, he ran to the bathroom and locked himself in there. I was just so shocked." I shook my head.

"Was it really that much of a surprise to yeh?" She questioned. "I told yeh he liked yeh centuries ago."

My eyebrows knitted into a V. "Well, it's a bit weird hearing it come directly from Oliver's mouth."

She suppressed a laugh. "I would've given anything to be a fly on the wall that day."

"Manda! This is seriously tearing me apart on the inside and you find it funny?!"

"Of course not, love. It's just, you and Oleh have a vereh weird interaction, y'know? It's comical. Even in this particular situation."

I glared at her.

She smiled sheepishly. "Okay, yeh can continue the storeh."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my legs. "So after a few minutes of being in a completely shocked state, I left his room and tried getting him to come out of the bathroom but he wouldn't. It took some time, but I finally got him to unlock the door and we talked. Well, I talked. He just kinda kept telling me to go away."

"And didn't yeh?" She asked.

"Well, I was going to. But then I got mad and we started yelling at each other again. But I only got mad because I just wanted to talk about it with him. He seemed really upset."

"Hmm, makes sense," She mused.

I nodded. "So we continued arguing back and forth with each other until I asked him how long he liked me. Then he got all quiet and refused to answer." I paused for a brief moment before continuing. "For some reason, I felt like I needed to help him and, I dunno, something came over me which kinda led me to........uh....... kiss him."

"Okay, that does not make sense." She shook her head.

I rubbed my forehead. "Manda, it's hard to explain. I feel something different with Oliver."

She sighed. "How did the third kiss happen?"

"Well, after I kissed him, which was brief, he kinda got confused. I was very ashamed of what I'd done and a little confused myself, to be honest. We stayed silent for a few seconds. And then, he just kinda took my face in his hands and then my own hand, unconsciously might I add, touched his cheek....." I bit hard on my bottom lip.

"And that's when kiss numbah three happend," Manda concluded.

"Yes," I muttered.

"Okay." She looked thoughtful. "So when he kissed yeh, did yeh kiss back?"

I blew my fringe out of my face. "Yeah."

She sighed a long sigh. "Oh boy."

"Manda, I really really regret it. But....that last kiss....it was amazing. I'm not even gonna lie." I pulled my knees up against my chest. "It was pure electricity."

"And yeh've nevah experienced that with Tom?" She questioned, lifting a brow.

I sighed. "No. They both kiss so different. Tom's kisses are like honey, y'know? They're sweet and passionate. But Oliver's are more rough and kinda sloppy, but still so amazing."

"Hmmm. Interesting," She mused, rubbing her index finger on her chin.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Oliver said stuff to me. I mean, stuff that literally made me faint."

Her eyes widened. "Yeh fainted?"

I nodded. "And I think he might've kissed me again just before I blacked out, I dunno."

"Whoa. What did he say?" She asked, intrigued.

"He basically just explained to me why he liked me," I replied with a shrug.

"And the explanation is......?"

"He thinks my smile's pretty and he said he's unlucky because Tom is the one who's with me and........" I trailed off, playing the scene again in my head. "He thinks I'm prettier than any other girl he's met."

Her mouth dropped. "I knew it."

I sighed sadly.

"Loreh, do yeh or do yeh not like Olivah?" She questioned firmly, grabbing my shoulders and making me face her.

I made a face. ".......Do I have to answer right now?"

"Hell yes."

My eyes averted elsewhere. "Um......."

"Loreh," She spoke in a warning tone. "Look at me and give me an answer."

My eyes returned to her face and I let out a shaky breath. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

She nodded, releasing my shoulders. "It's nice to get that out in the open, isn't it?"

I frowned. "No."

She clicked her tongue. "What about Tom?"

"What about him?"

"Do yeh still like him?"

"Of course I do!"

"Hmmm." She placed a hand on her chin and another one on my shoulder. "Lor, it seems like yeh stuck in a love triangle."

"There's no love involved, Manda," I mumbled, shaking her hand away from my shoulder.

"But there's lust," She pointed out. "On Olivah's side, to be more precise."

I sighed, laying down on my stomach and planting my face on the mattress. "Shit, shit, shit. They're both just so different, y'know? Tom is caring, sweet, sensitive and romantic. And Oliver.....he's, he's Oliver. He doesn't show much emotion and is far from being romantic. He's tough and rude."

"Like a bad boy." Manda chuckled. "The nice girls always go for the bad boys."

I grabbed my pillow and buried my face in it. "I'm the most selfish human being to walk the planet," I cried, with my voice coming out all muffled.

I felt Manda rubbing my back. "Yeh onleh human, love. Temptation lurks in evereh corner."

"That's no excuse." I dug my face deeper into the pillow.

"Well, don't suffocate yo'self." She laughed, trying to pry the pillow away from me, but I held it tightly. "Loreh, love, stop that."

"No."

"Yeh want to suffocate?"

"Yes, please."

Manda let out a loud sigh. "I know yeh hurting, love. I personalleh would not wanna be in yeh shoes right now. But it's okay. Like I said, yeh onleh human."

"I'm selfish, that's what I am." I finally removed the pillow from my face, tossing it on the floor. "I wish I never came to Sheffield."

"Aw, don't say that. If yeh hadn't come, then we would've nevah met," She said with a small laugh as she laid down beside me. "I would've nevah gained a new best mate."

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. "Yeah, you're right. For that, I'm glad I came." Manda returned the same smile. I brought my hands up to my face, twirling the mood ring around my finger.

"Cool ring," She commented, staring at it as well.

"Oliver gave it to me," I said quietly. "It's a mood ring."

"Why'd he give yeh a mood ring?" She propped herself up by one elbow and rested the side of her face against her palm.

"For my birthday."

"Oh." She chuckled. "So he wasn't serious about the pinecone? That's a relief, I gotta say."

I chuckled weakly.

"Have yeh chosen which one yeh want?"

I glanced at her confusingly. "What?"

"Oleh or Tom," She clarified.

"I don't have to choose. I'm with Tom, Manda." I shook my head.

"But what about Olivah? I mean, he likes yeh too."

I sighed. "I know that. But he's just gonna have to deal. And I know how extremely bitchy and evil that sounds, but it's the right thing. I have to forget Oliver."

"Sure yeh can do that?" She gave me a sympathetic look.

"Yeah. I have to." I shrugged. "And now Tom invited me to Matty's party tonight and Oliver's gonna be there for sure."

"Well, then, just tell Tom yeh don't wanna go."

I rested my arm over my face. "I did. But then he kept saying that he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible because I'll be leaving soon." I bit my lip. "He's totally right. As much as I'm dreading having to go to this thing, he's right."

"Okay, I undahstand."

I nodded. "The problem is, I'll have to avoid Oliver at all costs."

"He's gonna be crushed," She said.

"I know." I shook my head, lowering my arm and looking at her. "Will you help me? With Oliver, I mean?"

She smiled crookedly. "Of course."

"Thanks." I returned the same smile.

"It's gonna be tough, though," She stated thoughtfully, laying back down and staring at the ceiling. "Oleh's not gonna react well at all."

I pursed my lips. "I know. But I'm not giving up Tom for him."

"Yeh might not give up Tom, but what if Oleh doesn't give up on you?" She turned her head to look at me.

"He will. He's not gonna do anything to screw up my relationship with Tom." I suddenly paused, glancing at her. "Is he?"

"He kinda did, didn't he? I mean, he kissed yeh. And sure, kissing is quite harmless but in this case, it's more than the kiss itself. Yeh actualleh have feelings for Oleh and vice versa."

"But Tom doesn't know and I'm not planning on ever telling him," I muttered.

She pursed her lips. "That's quite a secret to keep, love."

"Yeah," I agreed sadly. "But I'll forget Oliver eventually and he'll forget about me. And hopefully all this will be dead and buried in the end."

"Yeh realleh think he'll fo'get about yeh?" Manda asked.

I shrugged. "Yes."

She shook her head. "Have yeh spoken to Oleh since the kiss?"

"No."

"Love, he's gonna wanna talk to yeh. And I think the onleh reason he's coming to this parteh tonight is because he wants to see yeh."

I averted my eyes to the ceiling above me. "And that's where you come in."