Be a Good Girl, Sandy Jones

I made an excuse about having to use the bathroom as I left the room. The moment my bedroom door shut behind me, I rested my back against the wall and tangled my hands through my hair.

I shouldn’t have done any of that. I shouldn’t have gotten high with Dani, I shouldn’t have even gotten any drugs, I shouldn’t have kissed Dani.

I was just coming off my high. I was thinking about how in-a-dream Dani looked, she was laughing and she looked completely carefree, she looked beautiful. I thought about how soft her lips must be, how she must taste, so those thoughts led to thoughts of kissing her, and from there, my body took control. I had put my hands on her shoulders, then in her hair, her hair was silky smooth beneath my fingers. I pulled her to me, and kissed her. I looked at my upper arms, which still had the faint bruises where Dani had grasped my arms, to keep me in place. Those would be gone in a matter of hours, but the feeling of kissing her, even in my half-stoned state, I would remember that for a long time.

I had looked at her, after she woke up, and she looked as if she was trying to figure something out, and after thinking about it myself, she was probably trying to figure out if us kissing was real or some dream. Being high on marijuana, it felt as if you were dreaming or something, I couldn’t really explain it.

I went to the bathroom and washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were slightly bloodshot, and my skin was pale, but it normally was.

I went back to the room to find Dani on my bed now, looking out the window, that I used for sneaking out. It was wide and short, just perfect for me to shimmy out onto the roof, then from there, I’d crawl along the roof and jump down into a pile of logs we kept at the side of the house, but never used, then onto the ground. I’ve done it so many times now, I could do it with my eyes closed.

“I sneak out of that window all the time. I’m grounded from using the car now too, so I have to walk an hour to school and back each day,” I told her with a small smile.

She looked at me, and seemed to analyze me, as though rethinking what she thought of me.

“Why did you get high?” She asked me but my smile stayed on my face, even though it did shrink just a little.

“My mother and I got into a fight last night, basically told me I was a piece of shit and that she wished I wasn’t her daughter, then took the car away from me. She hit me a few times too, so I decided, hey, why not smoke the drug she hates most, in her own house? It’s pay back, on our books.” I told her truthfully, sitting in my spinning computer chair.

“Ok, and why did you want me to get stoned with you?” She asked and I sighed, moving my eyes to look at the ceiling.

“I was selfish, I didn’t want to it alone, and you seemed like the second best person to ask, you were on my doorstep, and you’ve never gotten high before, so I thought it would be a good first experience for you, with me,” I mumbled loud enough for her to make out the words.

She seemed to maul that bit of information, then she asked the question I hoped she wouldn’t, because I wasn’t sure if I should answer truthfully or not.

“I had a dream, I think, about kissing you. Did that happen, or was that just in my head?” She asked, her face going a bright pink. I concealed my emotion as blood tried to rush to my face.

“I don’t know,” I stayed on the borderline of lying and the truth.

She pursed her lips, and it looked as if she was trying to forget that she had even asked that question.

“Over the next few days, you’ll zone out a bit, as if you were high again, that's just a side effect, since it’s your first time,” I told her, and rolled my chair over to my bed, to lay my feet up on the comforter.

She nodded and laid back on the bed, and I wanted nothing more then to lay next to her, smell her strawberry body spray again, kiss her full lips again, hug her tightly, and maybe not let her go again. I shook my head slightly, Dani Worthington was not the girl to be thinking those thoughts about. She stabbed people in the back, let compliments go to her head, and she was as straight as a straight line. Was she? She didn’t kiss like she was. She didn’t kiss me like she was straight. Maybe she was bi? Or just straight out gay.

I began to wonder about that when she said that she had better get going, it was almost 5 in the afternoon. I got off my chair and led her to the front door, and gave her an awkward hug goodbye, before she left and I returned to my room, to sleep. And did I sleep. I didn’t wake up until the next morning, at about 3am, that was 9 hours of sleep. I crept to the living room and spent my morning watching cartoons like a kid, until my mother got up, to go to work, then I retreated to my room again, to do all the homework I had left. Before I knew it, it was Sunday night, and I was getting ready to go to sleep for the night.

When I did, finally, lay down to go to sleep Sunday night, I couldn’t get to sleep for a few hours, I just thought over a few things, what I felt for Dani, if I would tell her that the kiss was real, if I should tell her I was questionably a lesbian, and whether or not she could truly be trusted.

I fell asleep without knowing it, and got startled awake by my alarm clock, yelling at me to get my ass out of bed. I crawled out of bed, grumbling to myself about how it was too early, and took a quick shower. After getting myself ready for clothes, I picked out some what girlie clothes. A pair of jeans, a powder blue tank top with a knit black sweater, and my black Vans sneakers. I bobby-pinned my hair away from my face and put on a little bit of eyeliner and mascara. I actually looked like a girl today, a normal happy girl, not some angry, depressed teenager. I smiled to myself, half wondering what had brought on my sudden craving to dress like almost every other girl in my school.

I picked up my cell phone and keys to the house, noticing that the keys to the car were gone, and took off in a jog for the school, so I’d be there a little early, to see Dani.