Kings and Queens of Promise

“Em, you…You can’t be like us,” I said. “You don’t want to be one of us. We are freaks of nature.”

“But how did you get that way?” she demanded. I stood up from her bed, beginning to pace. I ran one of my hands through my already distressed hair.

“We were born this way. I don’t know how it happened.”

“Yes, you would,” she said, looking up at me. Then, I knew she knew my other secret. “Pierre told me that you’ve been trying to find a cure ever since you discovered you were telepathic. But, why?”

“You don’t understand,” I said, desperately trying to make her understand. “It’s not something I want. It’s different from the others. They can control their powers, but mine…it’s like I can’t turn it off. Jack can turn invisible or visible at will. Pierre can choose to make someone feel a certain way by just…I dunno, mentally urging them to do so. He wills them to or something. Syn has had his powers for the longest, so he has learned how to block his visions out. As you can imagine, it would be very annoying to see a flashback of someone’s past every time you touched them, and Zacky…well, talking to animals is just like talking to people. You can just ignore them, if you’d like. I can’t do that. The voices I hear are in my head, they make it hard to think.”

“But, Jared, mind reading is such a gift! You can know if someone’s lying to you or-”

“Or I can know what they really think of me. Or if they’re thinking about sex or hurting someone. I see everything they’re thinking, the good and the bad. It’s taking all of my efforts, right now, to keep your thoughts out.”

“Is that why you won’t look at me?” she asked. I looked up immediately, as if to say ‘what are you talking about? I’m looking at you right now’. Of course, I instantly regretted it. I looked into her big, brown eyes and I saw a conflagration of emotions within them. “Why fight it?” she whispered. “Why not own it? I bet reading minds isn’t all you can do.”

“No, I can’t. I can’t,” I whispered, backing away from her. She stood and followed me, coming to stand right in front of me. She laid her hand on my cheek.

“Don’t be scared,” she said quietly. “Let go. I don’t mind.”

“I promised you-”

“I don’t mind,” she repeated, gazing into my eyes. I took a shaky breath before letting down my defenses, allowing my mind to brush against hers. I could see her immediate thoughts and, when I reached further, I could see the things looming in her subconscious. Images. Images of Pierre kissing her, surrounded by a sea of confusion. Memories of a white room, a hospital. An picture of me, shrouded in a cloud of curiosity. After sifting through her subconsciousness, I moved to her immediate thoughts.

I couldn’t tear my eyes from hers as I saw her blazing desire to be like us. In her mind’s eye, she interpreted it as a longing to be unique, but I could tell the real reason, even if she couldn’t. She wanted to have a connection to all of us. Despite all the abuse, she had begun to fall in love with her life here, but she would kill herself if she knew that. She was so angry at Syn and Pierre, and yet she still wanted to be connected to them, so she could take care of them, like she’d taken care of Jack and Pierre when they were sick: she loved it, that motherly feeling. She would be a great mom.

For the second time, I found myself becoming overwhelmed by the purity, sincerity, and complexity of her mind. I couldn’t look any longer. I threw up my wall, turning my head so I was no longer looking at her. I felt weak at the knees and braced myself against the wall.

“I could feel you,” she said. Of course she could. She had such a strong mind. She was intelligent, possible smart enough to outwit even me. But I couldn’t let her become one of us, even if it was possible. Which it was… “Jared, I want to be like you.”

“I can’t let you,” I replied. “You would regret it.”

“Pierre said that Frank had powers. Powers that he wasn’t born with,” she said. Damn that Pierre! “How is that?”

“Emerson,” I said, taking her face in my hands. I met her gaze again, silently pleading for her to see reason. “Trust me. You don’t want this. You don’t want to be like me. I can’t even go anywhere where there’s crowds. So many thoughts…they overwhelm me.

“They wouldn’t, if you trained your mind. If you practiced-”

“No!” I exclaimed, giving her a slight shake. “I don’t want to embrace this, I want to get it out! That’s why I’ve spent the past five years trying to find a cure!” Emerson sank into resigned silence, but I knew I hadn’t dissuaded her in the slightest. “Look, Em. You’ve been through a lot today. It’s a lot to take in. You need to rest and relax. Have you eaten anything today?” She shook her head. “Okay, I’ll go make you something. I want you to put on some pajamas and get into bed.” Without waiting for her to comply, I left and left the room. Jack and Alex jumped away from the door as I opened it. Alex tried to look like he hadn’t just been eavesdropping, and Jack completely vanished on the spot. I was surprised that I hadn’t heard their thoughts, I guess because I had been trying to block out everything.

“Do you think you changed her mind?” Alex asked.

“Not in the least,” I sighed. Alex followed me downstairs.

“But, Jared, if she talks to Zacky…he might just try to give her powers. She’s…persuasive.”

“I know, but she’s a Gaskarth. Once her mind is set on something, there’s no changing it. Am I right?” Alex said nothing, but his face said it all. After the three of us worked together to make a simple meal (a box of noodles and a can of Prego spaghetti sauce), I went back upstairs, knocking on the door. There was no response, so I cracked the door and peeped in. Emerson was in bed, back turned to me. I started to leave when I heard a soft sniffle. “Em?” I whispered, entering the room and shutting the door behind me.

“Em, what is it?” I asked as I sat on the edge of her bed. “Em?” Slowly, I leaned over her, laying a hand on her shoulder. She hesitantly looked up at me before looking away.

“They all probably hate me,” she whispered. I started to ask who she meant, when the answer hit me in the face. And it was funny. I couldn’t help laughing.

“Emerson Gaskarth, you drama queen!” I laughed. “Nobody hates you. We all love you, Em.”

“But Zacky-”

“Knows you’re friends with Frank and doesn’t want you to find out he likes Frank.”

“He does? Well…what about Syn?”

“He doesn’t want you to find out he’s a total softie.”

“Pierre-”

“Feels insanely guilty for hurting you and desperately wishes he could fix it.” Em sank into silence, still crying. I sighed and pulled her into a sitting position, wrapping my arms around her. She hid her face against my neck and continued to cry. “It’s gonna be okay, Em. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Thank you, Jared,” she whispered. I stayed with her until she ended up falling asleep in my arms. I gently eased her down onto the pillows, covering her up before kissing her forehead.

“Goodnight, Em,” I whispered. I then got up, going to the door. I paused in the doorway and looked back before adding, “I love you.”