Kings and Queens of Promise
Not Loving You Is Harder Than You Know.
“Sweetie, do you want anything?” my mom called up the stairs.
“No, thank you!” I called back.
“What are you up to in here?” asked Jared, walking in. I just shrugged, looking over at him. I patted the space next to me on the bed. Jared crossed the room and stretched out on his back, clasping his hands behind his head.
“You know what you were doing when you were 24?” I asked.
“I dunno,” he shrugged. “Dicking around?”
“You were filming,” I told him. “You had a leading role in a movie. You know what else?”
“Gaining 60 pounds?” he suggested.
“That was stupid. You could’ve worn, like, a fat suit or something for that role. But no, you were also making time for your band. Your famous band. And did you know that on IMDB.com, you have 10 paragraphs in your biography? That’s 4 more than Ashton Kutcher, Sandra Bullock, Hugh Jackman, and Jennifer Lopez, put together.”
“What’s your point?”
“Well...look at me, Jared,” I sighed. “I’m 24 years old, I don’t have a college degree, I have no clue what I want out of life, and I’m pregnant with a child I’m nowhere near ready for. I’m not even listed on fuse.tv,” I breathed. “Every musician has a page on fuse.tv.”
“Em, you don’t have to have a page on fuse.tv to be somebody. You’re somebody to me.”
“You have to say that; you’re my best friend.”
“Well, even so, you’re somebody to Alex. And Jack. And Frank and Zacky. Even to Syn. Hell, even to the other losers that bum around the mansion. They all fucking love you! And, Em, that baby is going to fucking love you. You’ll be like the sun to that baby; she won’t be able to live without you.” I took a deep breath and looked down at my stomach. At 20 weeks, the bump was now noticeable; my mom had noticed it the moment she hugged me. I laid my hands on my stomach and slivered slightly at the jittery feeling I had, like butterflies in my stomach. I turned my head to find Jared looking intently at my face, an unreadable look in his eyes.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Of course you are. It’s natural, I’m sure.” With a shaky breath, I rolled onto my side, resting my head on Jared’s chest. My left hand rested idly on his stomach, but was soon enveloped by Jared’s strong hand. “You’re not alone. We’re all going to help you through this.”
“That’s the problem,” I sighed. “Why does everyone like me? It would be much easier if it were just you and Alex and Frank and Zacky. But Brian and Pierre and Jack...they just make this harder for me.”
“I guess it’s just easy to fall for you,” Jared whispered.
“I wish it wasn’t,” I said after a long pause. I sat up, rubbing my stomach. “I’m hungry. Let’s go out for lunch!” I got up and walked to the door, pausing when I realized Jared wasn’t with me. “Jare?” I turned back and saw him sitting up, looking at me again. He looked like he was going to say something, but he just shook his head and smiled.
“We’re all gonna go broke trying to keep you fed,” he chuckled before getting up and brushing past me. I tried to put it out of my head, but I couldn’t help but wonder what it was he was going to say.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Later that night, I was taking a hot bath when Mom came in with the phone.
“You’ve got a phonecall, honey,” she said.
“Who is it?”
“Alex.”
“Okay,” I said, reaching for the phone.
“EM! THANK GOD, YOU’RE ALIVE!” Alex’s voice screeched in my ear.
“Of course I’m alive. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you just took off without saying anything to anyone and you kidnapped Jared!”
“I didn’t kidnap Jared; he followed me.”
“Either way, Pierre’s pissed. He says ‘how am I supposed to be taking care of her if she’s off on some goddang roadtrip with Jared?!’,” Alex chuckled, doing a pretty good impression of Pierre’s voice.
“He has no right to be pissed. I can do whatever I want.”
“Well, he doesn’t feel the same, apparently. He did contribute half the DNA to ya’ll’s baby, y’know.”
“I didn’t ask him to,” I returned.
“I know, Em. Anyway, how’ve you been?”
“I’m fine,” I replied. “A little emotional.”
“Always. What’re you up to today?”
“I’m taking a bath.”
“EW! Why are you talking on the phone if you- are you, like...naked?”
“No, I’m wearing a cocktail dress, Alex. People do tend to bathe naked, but I find a dress much more comfortable.”
“Your sarcasm isn’t appreciated.”
“So, what’s new on your end of the country?”
“Oh, you know...nothing.”
“Fascinating,” I laughed. “How is everyone?”
“They’re good. Syn’s still telling everyone to call him Brian, and he’s not being as much of a creep as usual. Zacky and Frank hardly ever leave the poolhouse -yucky thoughts- and Pierre spends a lot of time brooding.”
“How often does he go in the kitchen?”
“Um...not very.”
“Oh, crap. I broke him.”
“He’s just worried about you.”
“How’s Jack?”
“I dunno. He’s still MIA.”
“And you have no clue where he might be?”
“Well, it’s Jack. He’s either at a hotel in Vegas or home with Mommy.” I pondered over that for awhile, before continuing the conversation.
“Maybe I’ll pay Mrs. Barakat a visit before we head back.”
“Oh, that reminds me...what’s going on with you and Jared?”
“Nothing!” I exclaimed, blushing. “He’s my best friend, he was just worried about me.”
“Uh-huh, sure. He’s just a friend.”
“My best friend,” I said.
“That’s not what I see.”
“Alex, I don’t like Jared and he doesn’t like me.”
“Right, he just followed you to the airport, and was basically at your beck and call for two months straight because...you’re just friends?”
“I’m hanging up now,” I said. “I’ll see you next week, okay?”
“Alright. Love ya.”
“Love you, too,” I replied before hanging up the phone.
Jared’s POV
I was laying awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I could hear Emerson tossing and turning in the next room, and I was contemplating whether or not to go see if she was okay, when the sound stopped. I heard her door open, then a soft knock on my door.
“Jared?” she whispered cautiously.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting up immediately.
“The baby’s kicking,” she said excitedly, coming over to me. “Quick, quick, feel!” She sat down on the edge of the bed, taking my hand and laying it on her stomach. After a few short moments, I could feel movement under my hand, which drew an involuntary smile to my face. Em’s small hands were still on mine, and I allowed my gaze to travel up to her face. She was looking adoringly at her stomach and I knew, then and there, she would be an amazing mother. She was definitely ready for this.
I had it really bad for this girl. She was everything I’d ever wanted. She was beautiful and confident and talented and maternal. She was kind and selfless. She was...perfect. Not to mention, how much she had been helping me with my own problems. I didn’t even have to think about blocking out her thoughts, because I didn’t need to. I could see everything I needed to in her eyes. In turn, I had gained a level of control over myself and now I wasn’t overwhelmed by the thoughts around me. I could think clearly and didn’t have to hear everyone else’s thoughts.
I felt normal again.
With my free hand, I reached up and brushed my fingers against Em’s cheek. She looked up at me, and smiled that gorgeous smile that made my stomach do somersaults. Taking my hand off her stomach, I pulled her against me, her back against my chest, and got comfy. I looked down at her with a soft smile, watching as she held her stomach lovingly.
If only we could always be like this, blissfully happy together. But I knew that in five months, things would get a lot harder.
For more reasons than even Em knew.
“No, thank you!” I called back.
“What are you up to in here?” asked Jared, walking in. I just shrugged, looking over at him. I patted the space next to me on the bed. Jared crossed the room and stretched out on his back, clasping his hands behind his head.
“You know what you were doing when you were 24?” I asked.
“I dunno,” he shrugged. “Dicking around?”
“You were filming,” I told him. “You had a leading role in a movie. You know what else?”
“Gaining 60 pounds?” he suggested.
“That was stupid. You could’ve worn, like, a fat suit or something for that role. But no, you were also making time for your band. Your famous band. And did you know that on IMDB.com, you have 10 paragraphs in your biography? That’s 4 more than Ashton Kutcher, Sandra Bullock, Hugh Jackman, and Jennifer Lopez, put together.”
“What’s your point?”
“Well...look at me, Jared,” I sighed. “I’m 24 years old, I don’t have a college degree, I have no clue what I want out of life, and I’m pregnant with a child I’m nowhere near ready for. I’m not even listed on fuse.tv,” I breathed. “Every musician has a page on fuse.tv.”
“Em, you don’t have to have a page on fuse.tv to be somebody. You’re somebody to me.”
“You have to say that; you’re my best friend.”
“Well, even so, you’re somebody to Alex. And Jack. And Frank and Zacky. Even to Syn. Hell, even to the other losers that bum around the mansion. They all fucking love you! And, Em, that baby is going to fucking love you. You’ll be like the sun to that baby; she won’t be able to live without you.” I took a deep breath and looked down at my stomach. At 20 weeks, the bump was now noticeable; my mom had noticed it the moment she hugged me. I laid my hands on my stomach and slivered slightly at the jittery feeling I had, like butterflies in my stomach. I turned my head to find Jared looking intently at my face, an unreadable look in his eyes.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Of course you are. It’s natural, I’m sure.” With a shaky breath, I rolled onto my side, resting my head on Jared’s chest. My left hand rested idly on his stomach, but was soon enveloped by Jared’s strong hand. “You’re not alone. We’re all going to help you through this.”
“That’s the problem,” I sighed. “Why does everyone like me? It would be much easier if it were just you and Alex and Frank and Zacky. But Brian and Pierre and Jack...they just make this harder for me.”
“I guess it’s just easy to fall for you,” Jared whispered.
“I wish it wasn’t,” I said after a long pause. I sat up, rubbing my stomach. “I’m hungry. Let’s go out for lunch!” I got up and walked to the door, pausing when I realized Jared wasn’t with me. “Jare?” I turned back and saw him sitting up, looking at me again. He looked like he was going to say something, but he just shook his head and smiled.
“We’re all gonna go broke trying to keep you fed,” he chuckled before getting up and brushing past me. I tried to put it out of my head, but I couldn’t help but wonder what it was he was going to say.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Later that night, I was taking a hot bath when Mom came in with the phone.
“You’ve got a phonecall, honey,” she said.
“Who is it?”
“Alex.”
“Okay,” I said, reaching for the phone.
“EM! THANK GOD, YOU’RE ALIVE!” Alex’s voice screeched in my ear.
“Of course I’m alive. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you just took off without saying anything to anyone and you kidnapped Jared!”
“I didn’t kidnap Jared; he followed me.”
“Either way, Pierre’s pissed. He says ‘how am I supposed to be taking care of her if she’s off on some goddang roadtrip with Jared?!’,” Alex chuckled, doing a pretty good impression of Pierre’s voice.
“He has no right to be pissed. I can do whatever I want.”
“Well, he doesn’t feel the same, apparently. He did contribute half the DNA to ya’ll’s baby, y’know.”
“I didn’t ask him to,” I returned.
“I know, Em. Anyway, how’ve you been?”
“I’m fine,” I replied. “A little emotional.”
“Always. What’re you up to today?”
“I’m taking a bath.”
“EW! Why are you talking on the phone if you- are you, like...naked?”
“No, I’m wearing a cocktail dress, Alex. People do tend to bathe naked, but I find a dress much more comfortable.”
“Your sarcasm isn’t appreciated.”
“So, what’s new on your end of the country?”
“Oh, you know...nothing.”
“Fascinating,” I laughed. “How is everyone?”
“They’re good. Syn’s still telling everyone to call him Brian, and he’s not being as much of a creep as usual. Zacky and Frank hardly ever leave the poolhouse -yucky thoughts- and Pierre spends a lot of time brooding.”
“How often does he go in the kitchen?”
“Um...not very.”
“Oh, crap. I broke him.”
“He’s just worried about you.”
“How’s Jack?”
“I dunno. He’s still MIA.”
“And you have no clue where he might be?”
“Well, it’s Jack. He’s either at a hotel in Vegas or home with Mommy.” I pondered over that for awhile, before continuing the conversation.
“Maybe I’ll pay Mrs. Barakat a visit before we head back.”
“Oh, that reminds me...what’s going on with you and Jared?”
“Nothing!” I exclaimed, blushing. “He’s my best friend, he was just worried about me.”
“Uh-huh, sure. He’s just a friend.”
“My best friend,” I said.
“That’s not what I see.”
“Alex, I don’t like Jared and he doesn’t like me.”
“Right, he just followed you to the airport, and was basically at your beck and call for two months straight because...you’re just friends?”
“I’m hanging up now,” I said. “I’ll see you next week, okay?”
“Alright. Love ya.”
“Love you, too,” I replied before hanging up the phone.
Jared’s POV
I was laying awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I could hear Emerson tossing and turning in the next room, and I was contemplating whether or not to go see if she was okay, when the sound stopped. I heard her door open, then a soft knock on my door.
“Jared?” she whispered cautiously.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting up immediately.
“The baby’s kicking,” she said excitedly, coming over to me. “Quick, quick, feel!” She sat down on the edge of the bed, taking my hand and laying it on her stomach. After a few short moments, I could feel movement under my hand, which drew an involuntary smile to my face. Em’s small hands were still on mine, and I allowed my gaze to travel up to her face. She was looking adoringly at her stomach and I knew, then and there, she would be an amazing mother. She was definitely ready for this.
I had it really bad for this girl. She was everything I’d ever wanted. She was beautiful and confident and talented and maternal. She was kind and selfless. She was...perfect. Not to mention, how much she had been helping me with my own problems. I didn’t even have to think about blocking out her thoughts, because I didn’t need to. I could see everything I needed to in her eyes. In turn, I had gained a level of control over myself and now I wasn’t overwhelmed by the thoughts around me. I could think clearly and didn’t have to hear everyone else’s thoughts.
I felt normal again.
With my free hand, I reached up and brushed my fingers against Em’s cheek. She looked up at me, and smiled that gorgeous smile that made my stomach do somersaults. Taking my hand off her stomach, I pulled her against me, her back against my chest, and got comfy. I looked down at her with a soft smile, watching as she held her stomach lovingly.
If only we could always be like this, blissfully happy together. But I knew that in five months, things would get a lot harder.
For more reasons than even Em knew.