Kings and Queens of Promise

I Think I Wanna Marry You.

“Happy Cinco De Mayo!” a loud voice shouted next to me.

“Jesus!” I shouted, bolting upright.

“Nope, just me,” Jack said, grinning. Since we’d gotten home, he’d been acting like the Jack I knew and loved again. “What are you doing today?”

“Just some online shopping for the wedding,” I said, throwing off the covers and getting out of bed. Jack sighed and began to pout.

“I can’t believe you’re marrying him after what he did to you,” Jack said, gesturing to my swollen stomach.

“No child wants to grow up without a father,” I said firmly.

“What about what you want?” I hesitated, looking at Jack in sheer amazement. Since when was Jack deep?

“I...I have to.”

“You really don’t, Em,” Jack said. “If you stay here, the baby can still have it’s dad, you just won’t be married.”

“Jack, do you know how hard it is for a woman with a child to get a man?” I pointed out. “This could be my only chance.”

“Well, good luck telling that to everyone,” he said. He had a point. Since I’d rather reluctantly accepted Pierre’s proposal, everyone but Jack, Frank, and Zacky were avoiding me. Alex refused to speak to me. Jared had fled to his mountain cabin. Brian only came home late, completely wasted, then left as soon as he woke up the next day.

With a heavy sigh, I twisted the ring that was placed on my left ring finger.

“There are others that would gladly be with you,” Jack said in a tone that was borderline pleading. I shook my head, getting up and brushing past him. He grabbed my arm, holding me a moment as he looked at me thoughtfully.

“You okay?” I asked him. He nodded and, letting go of my arm, turned and marched from the room. As he left, he practically rammed into Pierre, who swerved out of the way just in time.

“Damn, what’s his damage?” Pierre asked, obviously annoyed.

“No one wants me to marry you,” I shrugged.

“I do,” Pierre said, pulling me into a hug. “How’s he doing today?” he asked, crouching down and touching my stomach.

“Fine, I guess,” I said.

“You okay?” Pierre asked as he straightened up again.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Did you book the chapel?” I asked him.

“Yup, and I ordered the rings and our save the date cards.” My stomach flopped uncomfortably at the thought of sending out the Save The Date cards. “And you have an appointment today.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, the doctor just called to remind you.”

“I didn’t arrange an appointment...”

“Maybe your brother did it.”

“I doubt it. Everyone around here hates me these days.”

“I’m sorry,” Pierre said, giving me a gentle squeeze. “Go ahead and get dressed.” I sighed once he was gone, dropping onto my bed for just a moment. I was tired and crabby, but I knew I had to put on a happy face, so I went into the closet and picked out today’s outfit; a red top and some Capri pants. I didn’t feel like putting on makeup or even putting in my contacts, so I just wore my glasses. I then wandered into the kitchen, where Pierre was finishing up making breakfast. We ate in complete silence until I dropped a bit of maple-syrup covered pancake onto my shirt.

“Fuck!” I shouted angrily, standing up and trying to wipe off the stain. Pierre, who I’m pretty sure had never heard me cuss, looking shocked and unsure of how to react to this outburst.

“Um, it’s okay. You go grab another shirt and I’ll throw this one in the wash,” he said uncertainly. I shrugged and pulled off my shirt, throwing it at him and walking back to my room unconcerned: no one was at home anyway, since they were all avoiding me. I pulled on another shirt and then went into the great room to wait for Pierre. It was definitely going to be a crappy day.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Jared?” I exclaimed when I saw a familiar person sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. I ran to him, embracing him. He didn’t hug me back at first, then he gave me a light squeeze before letting go. “Where’ve you been?”

“Up in the mountains,” he said, shrugging.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Pierre asked, his tone less than friendly.

“I’m her best friend,” he said unconvincingly.

“Like hell,” Pierre muttered.

“Emerson Gaskarth?” called the doctor. “Come on back.” I gratefully went back, followed by Jared and Pierre, who were still glowering at each other. I sat on the chair, and we waited while the doctor got ready. Then he started up the machines and all that jazz, you probably know how ultrasounds work. “Do you want to know the sex?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Pierre and I looked at each other for a split second, realizing we hadn’t even talked about it. But, then again, I was the one carrying the baby, so I figured I had the right to decide whether or not I knew the sex, so I repeated, “yes.”

Pierre took one of my hands, glaring when Jared took my other hand.

“Why are you here?” he snapped. “You have no reason to be here.”

“I’m supporting my best friend,” Jared said blankly. “Now stop talking.” Pierre opened up his mouth to say something else, but no sound came out. His eyes widened and he let go of my hand, feeling his throat. He shot Jared a glare and made a movement, but stopped as the doctor said, “there’s your baby.” We all looked at the screen, where we were mesmerized by the sight of my baby. “It’s a girl,” said the doctor. My breathing practically stopped and I tightly squeezed Jared’s hand.

“That’s my baby,” I whispered. “My baby...”

I was on cloud nine for the rest of the appointment. I felt like I was floating as we left the office. I had completely forgotten about what had gone down between Jared and Pierre, until we got outside.

“You son of a bitch!” Pierre shouted, lunging at Jared. I let out a scream of fright, trying to grab Pierre before he hurt Jared. “What the hell did you do to me?!”

“You fucking deserved it!” Jared shouted back at him. I needed to stop the situation before it got out of hand.

“Guys, stop it!” I exclaimed. “Pierre, it was obviously an accident, he didn’t-”

“Why are you defending him?!” Pierre demanded. “He abandoned you. I don’t even know why he bothered coming back. He obviously doesn’t give a fu-”

“He’s my friend.”

“He doesn’t care about anyone,” Pierre said. “Get your fucking head out of the clouds,” he said, shoving me to the side. Suddenly, Pierre let out a terrible scream, grasping his head. My eyes widened in shock as Pierre fell to his knees, and I looked at Jared. He was glaring at Pierre, eyes blank and fists clenched.

“Jared!” I shouted, running to him. I grabbed the front of his shirt. “Jared, stop!” Pierre continued to scream, and I shook Jared, tears streaming down my face. “Jared, stop! You’re going to kill him! Please, stop!” As quickly as it had started, Pierre’s screams died and Jared let out a gasp, stumbling backwards. I ran to Pierre’s side, one hand on his back, the other helping him sit up. “Are you okay?” I asked him. He nodded and we both looked up at Jared.

Jared was looking at us, horrified. He took a step back, then another.

“Jared-” I started, but it was too late. Jared turned and ran before I even had the chance to try stopping him.
♠ ♠ ♠
Word Count: 1,286
Running Total: 46,367

So, I've recently come to realize that I have a fear of dying. Unlike my family, I sometimes doubt my religion and wonder--what if we're wrong? What if there is no heaven and, once we die, that's just...it. We're dead. End of story. It's something that haunts me but today I laid back and thought to myself, maybe it isn't DYING that scares me as much as growing old and realizing that I might WANT to die one day because I'll be sick and in pain and weak. And I just today realized that He makes me strong and, even though my body will get old and withered, my heart and soul don't have to. And sure, I still panic sometimes when I realize that there's no stopping what has to happen someday. But I just have to sit down, play some Casting Crowns, and relearn how to trust my God.

I'm sorry to all you atheists and anti-Christians who are rolling your eyes at this little speech. I just felt like I needed to tell someone and who better than a bunch of anonymous readers? So, I'm not trying to give you a lecture or life lesson, just expressing my doubt and recognitions of earlier today. So, please no nasty comments. I just feel loads better getting this off my chest. And, when I feel like I'm dying and panicking, this song gives me light and hope.

"And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
"

If anyone else out there is feeling this way, I hope you'll listen to this song and find your hope again.

So, with that out of the way, hope you enjoyed the update and keep on reading. =)

~Daffodillyric~
Outfit