Love, Lust, and Spirit: Who Is Mrs. Perfect?

Niki sat on the bed reading a book waiting for Tre to finish packing for tour. She heard a light thud at the end of the bed and peeked over the top of her book.

"Tre, do you really need all of those shirts? I know you're leaving for a few months, but seriously. I packed that many outfits."

Tre looked down at the mound of shirts on the bed then back up at Niki. "Yes, because I'm a dirty boy."

"What does that have to do with packing seventy some odd shirts?"

"Well, I suppose some will be sweaty, some will get dirty or something spilled on them, and the rest will be torn off."

"Torn off?" she asked in slight shock. "By whom?"

"Why, you of course," he said with a grin.

"I'm not that open, you know that. I'm uncomfortable fooling around in public or with anyone around in any place."

"Yeah, well, you're going to be broken of that."

She chuckled. "Whatever you say."

She continued reading her book, finished the chapter, bookmarked, and closed it.

"I'm going to grab a snack," she said getting up from the bed.

She walked past Tre trying to ignore the mound of shoes and clothes laying in their individual piles on the floor but couldn't resist. She stopped in the doorway as she was about to walk out, turned around, and said, "Tre, you're worse than me. Why would any man need that many shoes? How many do you wear any way?"

He looked up with his eyebrows scrunched together. "And when did you become Mrs. Naggy Pants?"

She didn't reply and walked out of the room.

'What on earth is her problem? Ever since we got back she's acted like she sat on an iron bar and can't get it out.'

He finished shoving his clothes in his duffel bags, walked down the stairs to the front door, and threw the bags down next to Niki's. He walked into the kitchen and found her bent over into the fridge. He smiled as he stared at her butt. He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and kissed her spine.

"Hey, sweet cheeks," he said softly.

He let go as she backed out of the fridge and looked at him with a tear running down her cheek.

He frowned and asked, "What's wrong, Babe?"

"I'm sorry I'm being a jerk. I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just a little tired is all."

He pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair.

"It's fine, I understand. People have the right to be angry, judgmental, and upset at times. I'm not angry with you." He kissed her forehead and smiled at her. "You have the most beautiful smile, you know that?"

She could help but smile at least a little after he said that. He wiped the tear off her cheek with his thumb and kissed the end of her nose.

"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I lose myself in them. The deep green color makes me think of laying in the grass with you snuggled up close together. It's truly an amazing feeling."

She buried her face into his chest and squeezed him.

"I love you so much, Tre. You are most definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know exactly how to make me feel better and you don't treat me like shit. I honestly never knew what love felt like while I was growing up so I didn't believe it existed for me. Not until you came along, at least."

He held her tight and rested his lips against the top of her head. He steadily inhaled her scent with each breath. He absolutely loved the smell of her hair and the feel of her touch. Holding her close was the closest thing to paradise that he could ever feel. He didn't want to let go, but he knew he would have to eventually.

Niki pulled back and said, "I'm going to run to the store right quick. Small fruit juice craving."

"Okay, I'll just fix something to eat, I guess. I'll have it done when you get back. Anything specific that you would like?"

"Nah, just fix whatever you want."

"Oh, okay." He had hopes of pleasing her with a fresh cooked meal of her choosing before they left for tour.

She rushed out the door to her car, jumped in, and rushed off to the store. She pulled into an empty spot and locked her doors upon exiting the car. Immediately she ran to the pregnancy tests. She picked out the first box she saw and then grabbed a drink so no questions were asked. She purchased the items and ran to the bathroom.

She placed toilet paper on the seat and sat down. She ran through her test and waited the allotted time for the test results. 15 minutes were up and she looked down at the strip. Negative. A tear ran down her face. Partially out of happiness, partial sadness. Regardless she didn't have to go home to Tre and tell him she was pregnant and her mood swings and eating isn't from feeding two.

She left the store and drove back home much happier than she was when she left. She pulled in the drive way and walked back inside. She heard the shower running and smelt an aroma coming from the kitchen. She glanced in over at the stove and on the counter next to it was a plate of biscuits, sausage, and eggs with a note next to them. She walked over to the counter and read it.

'I don't know if you'll get here in time before it's cold, but I went ahead and fixed it for you anyway. Sorry I couldn't eat with you. Love, your Honeybunschkins'

"Honeybunschkins?" she asked herself aloud. She giggled at the spelling of it and dug into her food.

"Hey, baby cakes," Niki heard from behind.

She turned around and saw Tre in nothing but a towel leaning by his elbow on the door frame. Her eyebrows perked up a little.

"Hey."

"So what was your rush this morning? You didn't give me a goodbye kiss or anything," he pouted.

"I'm sorry."

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her torso. "I was beginning to wonder about your mood swings. You're not pregnant, are you?"

Niki grinned over his shoulder. "Nope."

"Oh, okay."

She was slightly shocked at his response. He sounded slightly disappointed. She rubbed his back and buried her cheek in his shoulder.

"Are you wanting another child or something? You sound disappointed."

"Well, I miss having the kids around since they live with their mothers. I don't get to spend a lot of time with them, especially not Ramona. So,-"

"Yeah, I understand, but I don't think I'm really ready for one. I'm not used to having kids around. I was an only child, as well as my parents, so I don't have any nieces and nephews or anything. I wouldn't really know how to take care of one, or myself for that matter, if I had one."

"Well, I don't want you to be unhappy because you had a kid when you weren't prepared. It's not that big of a deal anyway."

He shrugged a little and pulled her back into a hug. He pulled back, looked into her eyes, and smiled. He kissed her softly on the lips and said, "I have to go get ready. We have to meet with our tour manager today to discuss our promotion and all that jazz. Fun, fun."

She nodded. "Well, I'll see you when you get back." She smiled.

"Yes, ma'am, you will."

They kissed again and he made his way up the steps to the bedroom. She watched him as he walked up and continued thinking.

'What would it be like if I were to have a kid? Am I ready to have one? No, no, I'm not. I need to stop thinking about this.'

She made her way over to the living room, plopped down on the couch, and stared at the ceiling.

'I feel a little bad for telling him no. Ugh, fucking softie. Why, why can't I ever make a decision without tripping over my own thoughts? I'm 29 and can't even hardly think about having a kid. 29 and not ready to have a kid.

He started to give her a goodbye kiss and heard her talking to herself. He stopped at the doorway and listened to her. He hung his head, staring at the floor, and mentally kicked himself. He turned and walked away quietly making his way out the door. He started the car and pulled out of the drive way.

'I didn't mean to put her in this situation...' he thought. 'Why am I such an asshole?