Forever?
first will be the last
I sat in my dark room looking at the pistol in my hand. The silent moonlight that streaked through my black curtains fell upon its silver barrel that contained on single bullet.
My gaze quickly averted to the picture that had been sprawled across the floor in tiny pieces. Two people ripped apart by a common mistake made in a relationship. The image continuously replayed in my head. Her and that guy from school. I though what we had was love.
"Guess not" i whispered to myself. I had already realized that this was just some horrible, miserable nightmare that i was sure to wake up from; but the heart breaking truth of reality.
"C'mon Spence, open the door" My older brother continued to yell at me threw the locked door.
I knew i had to do this sooner or later but something was holding me back. A sense of want...even love.
"there's no way someone would ever love you like that. Not even Brittany loved you" My conscience spoke aloud.
"Spencer! Do not say something like that." I heard Aaron yell out. Great, soon the whole fricken neighbourhood will be here. Even the news. Imagine the headlines 'pathetic boy locked in his room crying over his ex girlfriend'
"Time to get this over with"
"Time to do what?" I heard Aaron ask Will.
"Oh nothing really"I said with a smirk across my face just asking to be slapped it was so big.
As i held the gun to the side of my head, a note was slipped under the door. I didn't bother to read it. Nothing said now could change what i was about to do.
"3" I breathed in and out as slow as i could.
"2" I said confidently
"1.......I love you Aaron" I said with out realising it. but now it was to late to act upon anything.
"Always have and always will" I whispered before quickly pulling the trigger. My body hit the floor with a loud thud. As my soul and spirit escaped my tormented body i heard screams from people from outside my door, obviously realising i had shot myself. The blood from my body began to drain into the cracks in the floorboards, creating a pool around my lifeless corpse. The note left behind had soaked up some of my blood making it a red colour. The letters still visible.
'Spencer C Noble your not alone.
I wish i didn't have to write this
I wish i could say it to your amazingly beautiful face.
Yet your locked in your room because of some stupid slut that treated you wrong. She doesn't know how special you are.
But i know your special and i also know that I'm in love with you. I have been ever since i laid eyes on you.
Please open the door so i can see your face?' My spirit read upon the letter..
Finally Will, Aaron and a couple of there friends had broke down the door only to face what tragedy i lived in. Paintings, photos, drawings all over my walls. Cuts, bruises, whip marks indented in my body. some were self punishment, some created by others.
Boys and girls from school. Even my step father.
"Oh my god" Aaron whispered, his trembling hand wiping away the still damp tears on my ever fading white cheeks.
"Is this true??" My brother asked Aaron holding the note in his hand.
"Y-yes" He whispered, tears streaming down his face quietly. My brothers expression turning from shock and sadness to pure anger and hate. I knew he was extremely homophobic, basically i taught myself to lie to myself. To "love" people i didn't love.
Deep down inside i knew i was gay and deep down inside i knew i felt the same for Aaron as he felt for me.
"You filthy slut! Get the fuck away from my brother, he never like you...he was never like you!" Will shouted. Half of what he said was true. A truthful lie. To make others happy and to keep them calm.
Aaron ran from my dark room where my body lay. I followed him. To see where he was going. As i tried to keep up, i realized he was heading toward the abandoned house that we found that night together little less that 3 weeks ago. I told him i was gay that night. The second living soul to know my secret. First being my step father.
As Aaron climbed the stories of stairs he came to the bedroom in the attic. It looked like he had been back since that night. There was a small bag in the corner and few papers scattered everywhere.
He rummaged through his bag for a minute until he pulled out a thick rope.
"Oh my god." i knew exactly what that meant.
I watched in horror as he tied it tightly to the strong rafters. And as he made the loop at the bottom.
He got down from the chair he was standing on and rummaged through his bag again. He pulled out a razor that had red glistening in the light. I never knew he had down it before. He rolled up his sleeve revealing deep pink and purple scars. He began to mutilate both arms writing his suicide poem. three words he carved though stood out through all the blood.
'Love Last Forever'
I could tell he was getting faint as he wobbled slightly as walked. He scrambled over to the chair below the dangling rope. He shakily got on top of it and put his head through the loop.
"Always and forever" Were his last words before he kicked the chair from underneath and he fell.
3 weeks later
As the rain cascaded down the windows on the hearse. I watched the two coffins begin to drop to their depths together.
My brother....It was his idea for Aaron and i to be together forever. I guess people can change.
Aaron stood next to me, our hands embraced tightly. He had found me on the roof of the house that night we both took our own lives. Both our bodies and souls were together like the should have been long ago. It finally felt right....I guess its true love.
Like Aaron had said. "Always and forever"
My gaze quickly averted to the picture that had been sprawled across the floor in tiny pieces. Two people ripped apart by a common mistake made in a relationship. The image continuously replayed in my head. Her and that guy from school. I though what we had was love.
"Guess not" i whispered to myself. I had already realized that this was just some horrible, miserable nightmare that i was sure to wake up from; but the heart breaking truth of reality.
"C'mon Spence, open the door" My older brother continued to yell at me threw the locked door.
I knew i had to do this sooner or later but something was holding me back. A sense of want...even love.
"there's no way someone would ever love you like that. Not even Brittany loved you" My conscience spoke aloud.
"Spencer! Do not say something like that." I heard Aaron yell out. Great, soon the whole fricken neighbourhood will be here. Even the news. Imagine the headlines 'pathetic boy locked in his room crying over his ex girlfriend'
"Time to get this over with"
"Time to do what?" I heard Aaron ask Will.
"Oh nothing really"I said with a smirk across my face just asking to be slapped it was so big.
As i held the gun to the side of my head, a note was slipped under the door. I didn't bother to read it. Nothing said now could change what i was about to do.
"3" I breathed in and out as slow as i could.
"2" I said confidently
"1.......I love you Aaron" I said with out realising it. but now it was to late to act upon anything.
"Always have and always will" I whispered before quickly pulling the trigger. My body hit the floor with a loud thud. As my soul and spirit escaped my tormented body i heard screams from people from outside my door, obviously realising i had shot myself. The blood from my body began to drain into the cracks in the floorboards, creating a pool around my lifeless corpse. The note left behind had soaked up some of my blood making it a red colour. The letters still visible.
'Spencer C Noble your not alone.
I wish i didn't have to write this
I wish i could say it to your amazingly beautiful face.
Yet your locked in your room because of some stupid slut that treated you wrong. She doesn't know how special you are.
But i know your special and i also know that I'm in love with you. I have been ever since i laid eyes on you.
Please open the door so i can see your face?' My spirit read upon the letter..
Finally Will, Aaron and a couple of there friends had broke down the door only to face what tragedy i lived in. Paintings, photos, drawings all over my walls. Cuts, bruises, whip marks indented in my body. some were self punishment, some created by others.
Boys and girls from school. Even my step father.
"Oh my god" Aaron whispered, his trembling hand wiping away the still damp tears on my ever fading white cheeks.
"Is this true??" My brother asked Aaron holding the note in his hand.
"Y-yes" He whispered, tears streaming down his face quietly. My brothers expression turning from shock and sadness to pure anger and hate. I knew he was extremely homophobic, basically i taught myself to lie to myself. To "love" people i didn't love.
Deep down inside i knew i was gay and deep down inside i knew i felt the same for Aaron as he felt for me.
"You filthy slut! Get the fuck away from my brother, he never like you...he was never like you!" Will shouted. Half of what he said was true. A truthful lie. To make others happy and to keep them calm.
Aaron ran from my dark room where my body lay. I followed him. To see where he was going. As i tried to keep up, i realized he was heading toward the abandoned house that we found that night together little less that 3 weeks ago. I told him i was gay that night. The second living soul to know my secret. First being my step father.
As Aaron climbed the stories of stairs he came to the bedroom in the attic. It looked like he had been back since that night. There was a small bag in the corner and few papers scattered everywhere.
He rummaged through his bag for a minute until he pulled out a thick rope.
"Oh my god." i knew exactly what that meant.
I watched in horror as he tied it tightly to the strong rafters. And as he made the loop at the bottom.
He got down from the chair he was standing on and rummaged through his bag again. He pulled out a razor that had red glistening in the light. I never knew he had down it before. He rolled up his sleeve revealing deep pink and purple scars. He began to mutilate both arms writing his suicide poem. three words he carved though stood out through all the blood.
'Love Last Forever'
I could tell he was getting faint as he wobbled slightly as walked. He scrambled over to the chair below the dangling rope. He shakily got on top of it and put his head through the loop.
"Always and forever" Were his last words before he kicked the chair from underneath and he fell.
3 weeks later
As the rain cascaded down the windows on the hearse. I watched the two coffins begin to drop to their depths together.
My brother....It was his idea for Aaron and i to be together forever. I guess people can change.
Aaron stood next to me, our hands embraced tightly. He had found me on the roof of the house that night we both took our own lives. Both our bodies and souls were together like the should have been long ago. It finally felt right....I guess its true love.
Like Aaron had said. "Always and forever"