When Everything Gets Crazy, I Get Lost In You.

"Jackie woke up and is on the phone with Austin. It didn't sound good," Adam tells me.

"Why? What happened?" He blows smoke out of his mouth and it evaporates in the cool January air.

"He called her to say that he was sorry and it woke her up, so she answered and started yelling that he was useless and that he couldn't even let her sleep without needing something."

"What did he need?"

"He didn't need anything. He said that you had just left and had been talking to him about all kinds off shit that happened a long time ago and that he didn't want to go back to that, and that he was sorry for treating her like that. And she just flipped out, man." I sigh.

"OK, I'll go see what her problem is," I say and start walking towards the front door. Adam reaches out and grabs my upper arm, stopping me. I turn to face him and he leans down and kisses me.

"Hi," he says.

"Hi."

"I love you." I smile.

"I love you too, babe. Let me get this sorted out for these two and the three of us will hang out, OK?" He nods and gives me a little smile, and I start walking into the house again.

When I walk in I see Jackie sitting on the couch with the phone on the coffee table in front of her. She has the baby in her arms, looking down at him. She looks up at me and smiles when I walk in the room.

"Hi," she says pleasantly.

"What's going on?" I ask her as I sit down on the couch next to her. She sighs and looks down at Baby Austin.

"Austin called. He said that you talked to him about shit."

"I did. I told him that he has a beautiful life that a lot of people would love to have, and that if he didn't watch himself, he was going to end up back where he started. You didn't know any of us then, but it wasn't that great and he knows it, but I think he just needed to be reminded."

"Yeah, he's told me some of the stuff that happened back then, but I never really dug into the past, ya know?"

"Adam said that you guys got into it on the phone."

"He called to say that he was sorry and asked me to come home, and I just lost it on him. I don't know why, it just didn't feel genuine to me. And after I started yelling, he did too and then it just escalated."

"How did you leave things with him?"

"I hung up on him and told him to call me when he was feeling a little more rational."

"Do you want Adam or I to go over there and talk to him?"

"What's the point, Sophie? He needs to fix himself on his own. No amount of talking is going to make him see my side of things, he needs to figure it out on his own." I hear the front door open and feel a cold breeze come in. Adam and Jack come inside, and Jack immediately goes into his room and shuts the door. Adam comes over to Jackie and I and sits on the coffee table in front of us.

"What's up, ladies?" he asks, pulling the blanket back from Baby Austin's face, looking at him with a smile. Jackie hands the baby off to him carefully and stands up.

"Jackie, I want to help you and Austin make this work because I love you both to death. Just tell me what I can do to help," I say to her as she paces the main area of the house.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stay here with you guys for the rest of my life, and my mom won't let me stay with her so I need to figure out what I'm going to do tonight."

"You can stay with us for the night if it comes down to it," Adam says. "We aren't going to let you guys be homeless." I stand up from the couch and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"That is really nice of you guys, but seriously? How long am I supposed to wait for Austin to man up and take responsibility for his family?" Jackie says. I come back around the bar and stand in the living room with my ass rested on the edge of the couch, my back to Adam and the baby and watch as Jackie continues to pace.

"I think he's willing to step up and take care of you guys like you want him to, but I just think that you need to talk with each other calmly, rather than yelling at each other," I say to her.

"He's not going to want to talk calmly, especially after our last conversation."

"I'll go over there again and talk to him," I say, getting up from the couch. I go over to the kitchen counter and grab up my purse and keys. Jack comes out of his room then and comes over to me.

"Mama, I need to talk to you about something."

"Jack, I can't talk right now. But as soon as I get back we will talk, OK?"

"It's kind of important."

"Honey, if it's that important I'll want to give it my full attention and right now I am unable to do that."

"OK," he says kind of quietly, making me feel bad.

"Is it something you can talk to Adam about?"

"I guess." I sigh and he steps into me and gives me a kiss on the lips.

"I love you, mama."

"I love you too, baby." I pat him on the chest with my hand. Right at that moment, I hear the baby make a weird half burp, half squeak noise, then a sloshing noise. I turn around slowly and see Adam holding the baby out in front of him at arms length, and he's covered in a milky white liquid... baby vomit. The baby looks pretty pleased with himself, and is spitting out little white bubbles from his mouth.

I clap my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing at the site of Adam covered in baby puke. He looks perplexed.

"Adam I am soooo sorry," Jackie says, laying the baby down on the coffee table to change his clothes and clean him up. Adam has his mouth open and his arms away from his body to keep from touching the vomit on his clothes. Honestly, he looks like he's going to throw up. I hear Jack snickering from behind me and he goes over to Adam.

"Come on, Adz," he says to him and they go into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. As soon as they're gone I start giggling.

"Oh my God, I feel so bad," Jackie says, also giggling a little. I plop down on the couch with my hands still over my mouth, laughing hysterically. After I stop laughing, I watch as Jackie changes the baby's clothes and cleans his face with a baby wipe. Jack comes out of the bedroom carrying Adam's dirty clothes in his hands, taking them down to the basement to be washed.

"Where's Adam?" I ask him.

"In the shower." I laugh a little and he shakes his head at me.

"You're such a bad wife. If I were Adam I'd divorce your ass."

"Bite me, punk. Go do the laundry!" He laughs and goes downstairs with the laundry.

"Adam doesn't get upset when Jack kisses you, I noticed," Jackie says to me once Jack is gone.

"No, not at all. Adam knows how we all stand. Jack is like our kid, so I mean, him kissing me isn't like, sexual or anything. It's just what we do. Even if it wasn't Jack, if it were someone else, I don't think he'd get jealous because he's very secure in our relationship and he knows that nothing will ever happen for me with another guy, ya know?" She nods.

"OK, well I guess I'm gonna head back over to your place to talk to Austin," I say, getting up from the couch. Adam comes out of the bedroom, fresh out of the shower and dressed in clean jeans, a black t-shirt, and a white button down over it left jacket style. His hair is mostly dry and hanging just below his ears in length.

"Where are you going?" he asks me as I walk past him.

"Austin and Jackie's place."

"I'm going with you."

"You don't have to. Stay here with her and Jack and the baby."

"Yeah, I guess someone should stay and protect Jack from baby puke." I smirk.

"That would be good, yeah." I go over to him and put my hand on his cheek, feeling that he shaved while he was in the shower. I kiss the side of his mouth and his cheek, then turn around and walk out the door.

When I get to Austin and Jackie's apartment, I just go upstairs and walk right in without knocking. I see that Mike is the only one of the Hinder guys left in the apartment, and he's sitting on the couch. Austin is sitting in the chair drinking a beer. I plop down on the couch next to Mike and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Tired?" he asks me.

"A little."

"What did she say to you?" Austin asks.

"She wants things to work out between you two, but she thinks that you need to realize what she wants of you."

"I do fucking realize what she wants of me, Sophie! I was trying to fucking tell her that but she went off the fucking deep end and started fucking yelling at me about how I'm a fucking loser because I can't even let her get some sleep without needing something from her, so you know what, fuck it. I'm done." I look at Mike and sigh.

"That's not the attitude to have, Steener."

"Well what kind of attitude am I supposed to have?"

"You both just need to calm down and stop yelling at each other, you know? Talk rationally with each other and figure out what you both want from each other; that's the only way you're going to figure anything out."

"How am I supposed to talk to someone calmly and rationally when they aren't willing to do the same?" Mike is looking back and forth between Austin and I while we talk, not saying anything to either of us, just listening.

"Leave that up to me. I'm sure I can get her to talk to you, if you're willing to do that."

"Do what you've got to do, just get her and my baby back here where they belong," he says. I smile at him and get up. I grab Mike's hand and pull him up from the couch.

"We should get going now," I say to him.

"I'll talk to Jackie and have her come over here with the baby so you guys can talk everything out, OK?" I say to Austin.

"OK. I don't know how it's going to work out, but I'll give it a shot."

"Hey, chin up, Steen. You need to be positive. You can't expect her to come in here and be receptive to that attitude."

"OK. Thanks Soph." Mike and I walk out of the apartment and go down to the parking lot together.

"How did you get here, do you need a ride?" I ask him.

"No, I've got my car."

"OK, then I'll talk to you later." We say goodbye and get in our cars and follow each other out of the parking lot. I follow behind him towards my house and smile to myself when he turns off the main road to go to our parent's house. I pull in at my house and go inside.

Adam and Jackie are sitting on the couch together watching something on Animal Planet. Both of the dogs are laying together on the third couch cushion, and the baby is in his little bouncy chair thing that Adam had him in earlier. They both look up at me when I come in the room.

"Well?" Jackie asks.

"You and the baby are expected back at your place tonight so that you and Austin can talk things out, calmly and rationally, without yelling at each other. If you can't do that, then I'm sorry but I've done all that I can do for you."

"Thank you so much Sophie. I was so worried that after the last time we talked that he wouldn't ever want to talk to me again."

"Well, he's willing, so I guess you better head over there and figure this shit out." She stands up and starts gathering all the baby's stuff. I put Baby Austin in his travel carrier and carry him out to the car and get him buckled in his car seat, while Adam helps Jackie carry all of her stuff that she brought over, outside.

Adam and I both give her a hug and wave her off as she pulls out of the driveway. Then we go back in the house. I go into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee, pouring my favorite peppermint flavored creamer into it, then I sit on the couch with Adam. We sit at opposite ends of the couch, facing each other with our backs against the arms of it.

"So now what?" Adam asks me.

"I'm starving. This day has whipped my ass."

"It's whipped your ass, what about my ass? I didn't get more than three hours of sleep lastnight. I'm jet lagged as fuck, and a baby puked all over me. I think that trumps you, babe." I laugh at him.

"That's true." We sit for a minute and drink our coffee in silence.

"Shit," I say after a few minutes. "Where's Jack?"

"Uh, downstairs I think. Why?"

"He wanted to talk to me about something earlier, and I had to run out of here to talk to Austin."

"This day just keeps getting better and better, huh babe?"

"Tell me about it." I get up from the couch and take my coffee down to the basement with me. When I get there I see Jack sitting on a chair in front of the soundboard with a guitar in his hand. I sit down in a chair next to him, bringing my feet up and putting them up on the edge of the soundboard.

"So what's up?" I ask him.

"When I was with Nikki earlier, she told me that she loved me." I sigh.

"And I didn't say anything back to her and now I feel like a douche."

"Do you love her?"

"I think so."

"Well, don't tell her something just because you think it's what she wants to hear. That won't get you anywhere."

"What would you do in that situation?"

"I was in this situation, babe. With Adam. He told me that he loved me and we'd only been together as a couple for like, three months. It was terrifying and I didn't know what to do, so I was honest. I told him that I had feelings for him, but I couldn't say the words to him yet."

"How long did it take you to be able to say it?"

"Not very long. He went on tour and got hooked on Oxycontin while he was out there, and Neil called me up and told me to get my ass out there because he thought I was the only one who could convince him to get his act together, and he was right but I didn't see it at the time because I was pissed off because he had been ignoring me the whole time he'd been out on tour. Little did I know he was ignoring me because he was high and he was ashamed."

"So, you went out there?"

"Yeah. I found him at an after party, high off of his ass but starting to come down, and I took him back to his bus and stayed with him while he withdrawled all night long. The next morning when he woke up, I told him that I loved him," I say. "I knew that I loved him the moment that I walked into that party and saw him the way he was. I knew that it had to be love, because why else would I have felt the way that I did, you know? Seeing him down like that, made me realize that I loved him." He nods.

"I think that you'll know when it's the right time to say it to her. You might not know exactly how or when to say it right now, and that's OK. You know how she feels about you, so at least you're not running blind."

"I know that I love her, but I just don't know like, how to say it or whatever. It feels weird saying it to anyone other than you, or Adam."

"When the time comes, you'll know exactly how to say it. Promise."

"Can we go get something to eat now? I'm starving."

"Oh my God, me too!" We both get up and go back upstairs. Jack goes into his room to change his clothes and I go over to the couch and crawl into Adam's lap.

"We're hungry," I tell him, kissing his lips.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well, since we're being honest with each other. I was hoping to get laid tonight." I throw my head back and laugh at him.

"I think we might be able to arrange for that."