When Everything Gets Crazy, I Get Lost In You.

I open my eyes and realize that it's morning. I'm laying on top of Adam's arm with my neck, and he has his other arm around my waist. It's two days before we're leaving to go on tour. Adam is all packed and ready to go, but I'm not. I know I should be up and working on that right now, but laying here is feeling pretty good.

I roll over to face Adam and he opens his eyes. I smile at him and give him a kiss on the lips, then shut my eyes again. A few minutes later, I hear someone walk up to the front door and stick a key into the lock. I open my eyes and look at Adam, seeing that he heard it too and is still listening. The dogs hear the noise and run out of our room to the front door to bark at whoever it is. I hear the door push open and Jack's voice as he quietly talks to the dogs. I roll over a little and look over my shoulder just as he walks past our open bedroom door. He has a paper bag in his hand and a cardboard drink carrier in his other hand. Both dogs are trotting along at his side as he goes into the kitchen. I watch as he sets the stuff on the counter and does something with it, but I can't tell what since the kitchen wall is in the way.

I roll onto my hand and lay my head on Adam's arm, staring up at the ceiling.

"I have to pack today," I say to him. He doesn't say anything. He just traces his finger on my chest along the v-neck of my tee shirt.

Jack comes in a moment later with two to-go coffee cups and the paper bag in his hands. He tosses the bag on the bed in between Adam and I, then motions for us to sit up. When we do he hands us the two coffee cups.

"Candy Cane hot chocolate mixed fifty-fifty with black coffee, just how you like it," he says, as he hands me my cup. I reach up with my free hand and put it on his face, kissing his cheek.

"Thanks baby," I tell him.

"Don't mention it. There are donuts in the bag," he says as he turns and walks back out to the kitchen. Adam and I both take sips of our coffee. Jack comes back in a second later and moves the desk chair so that it's facing the bed, and sits down in it. Sticking his feet up on the edge of the bed and taking a sip of his own coffee. I reach into the donut bag and take one out and hand it to Adam. Then I grab one for myself and toss the bag down to Jack.

"I would have made coffee but we're out," he says as he peers into the bag. Adam and I both pause with our donuts half way to our mouths and stare at him with blank expressions. Jack takes a donut, then looks up at us. I'm the first to find my voice.

"We need to go shopping." Jack nods and takes a bite of his donut. After we finish our donuts, I slide back down so that I'm laying down, with my head on Adam's side. He puts his arm around my back and lights a cigarette while he finishes his coffee.

"So Jackie bear, this is how it's gonna go," Adam says to Jack. "I'm getting a new car. My girl here is gonna get the Tahoe, and you're gonna get her car." I raise my eyebrows. This is all news to me. I look up at him.

"Really?" I say, kind of excitedly. I love the Tahoe. It's only a year old. Adam got it the week after we got married last March.

"Yeah," he says to me, then he looks back to Jack.

"That's cool. My car fucking sucks."

"I know. The deal is though, I paid it off before Christmas so you don't have any payments on it, but there is insurance. As long as you're in school, I'll pay for your insurance. If you flunk out, or drop out you can keep the car, but you have to pick up the insurance yourself."

"Sounds good to me."

"And that goes for when you graduate too. I'm not paying for your insurance your whole life after you graduate and have two jobs. You can do that yourself."

"Cool. Thanks Adz, that's one of the nicest things you've ever done for me," he says with mockery in his voice.

"Well, I wanted a new car. And Sophie needs something newer too. And we all know about yours and Nikki's cars." He gives a fake shudder. I smirk. I'm quite excited about getting Adam's Tahoe.

"Plus it will be good for you to have that when we're gone, rather than your car and have something happen," I say.

"My thoughts exactly," Adam says. I yawn and get out of bed, and go into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I look at myself in the large vanity mirror and stretch my arms above my head, and yawn again. Then I mess with my hair a little, pulling the front section up and securing it on top of my head with a tiny elastic band. I go back out to the bedroom where Adam and Jack are watching the NHL network on TV. Neither of them look up at me when I come in the room, but Jack puts his feet down off the bed so I can get around him, then he puts them back up when I'm past. I can feel Adam's glance as I walk past his side of the bed to the walk in closet. I grab a pair of jeans and a shirt, and a clean bra and panties, then walk back to the bathroom to take a shower.

When I get out of the shower, I get dressed and do my hair and make up. Then I go back out to the bedroom, where I see Jack still watching TV as Adam pulls on a pair of jeans over his boxer briefs. I go out to the main area of the house and feed and water the dogs, and let them outside. Adam and Jack come out of the bedroom a few minutes later while I'm sitting at the dining room table looking at some drawings that I was working on the day before.

"Mama, come take a ride with me," Jack says.

"Hang on, I'll be right there," I say to him as he goes out the garage door. Adam sits at the table with me, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and putting it in his mouth, but not lighting it.

"What kind of car do you want, Babe?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I'll do some research and probably start looking when we get back. I'd like to have it by then, otherwise I'll be walking." I grin.

"I'll drive you places."

I get up and put my trench coat on so that I can go with Jack while he drives my car around. I stick my phone into my purse and grab out my own cigarettes and lighter. Adam stands then and comes over to me as I light my cigarette. I put the lighter up so that the flame is on the end of both cigarettes at the same time, and he cups his hand around the flame. Once we're both lit up, I put the lighter back in my purse, give Adam a quick kiss goodbye then go out to where Jack is waiting for me in the driveway.

He's messing with the stereo when I hop in the passenger seat.

"All I have to say is if you wreck it, total it." He grins and puts it in gear and backs out of the driveway slowly.

We drive around through town for a few minutes, then he turns into the suburbs of Peoria. It feels weird to be riding shotgun in my own car, but I guess it's not really mine anymore. Just another thing that I have to do. Clean all of my shit out of here and into the Tahoe. But, I guess that can wait until we get home from touring.

As we're driving along, I hear the car make a few clicking noises. Jack looks over at me and I shrug, and we keep driving. About a mile later, a light on the dash comes on and starts blinking.

"It says 'Check Engine,'" Jack says to me.

"It's never done that to me." He looks down at the dash.

"Shit."

"What?"

"We're out of gas." Suddenly I feel the car drop back a little, and the engine dies.

"Shit," Jack says again. He coasts the car to a stop along the side of the road and puts it in park.

"Do you have your cell? I left mine at the house," he asks me. I dig in my purse and pull out my iphone. I push a few things on the touch screen and dial Adam's number. It rings twice, then stops. I pull the phone away from my face and look at the screen. It's black. I push on the screen a couple times and nothing happens. I try to turn it back on, but still nothing.

"Cock sucker," I spit at the phone. Jack grins.

"It died?"

"Yes this motherfucking, cock sucking, fucking piece of shit phone, fucking died on me!"

"Beautifully put." I glare at him and put the phone back in my purse.

"We could call OnStar," he suggests, pointing at the button on the rearview mirror.

"What are they going to do, call Adam and have him bring us gas? No. They'll have a wrecker sent out to drag us home, and that will cost us at least fifty bucks, plus roadside service charges." He's silent, probably wondering what else we can do. Probably nothing, but I just want to stew for a minute.

Jack looks around us at the nice houses and the street signs.

"Isn't this by where your mom lives?" he asks. For the first time I look around and realize where I am, then a lightbulb flashes on in my head.

"Yes!" I quickly get out of the car and look at the street signs, to figure out exactly where I am. Jack gets out of the car and pulls the hood up on his sweatshirt, then comes over and stands next to me.

"See down there?" I ask him, pointing down a line of backyards. "That white fence at the very end is my mom's fence."

"Well lets go then." He starts to walk up the side walk towards the street.

"Lets go this way," I say to him. He turns back to me and looks at where I'm motioning to.

"Through these peoples yard's?"

"Yeah, come on."

We start walking through one of my mother's neighbors backyard towards my mother's house. Everyone in my mother's neighborhood has a privacy fence on the side of their yard to block it from the next driveway, so everytime that we cross someones yard, we have to open up their privacy fence and go through it. We must look like we're up to no good, both of us dressed in black. Jack with his hood up. And both of us with our heads down.

When we get to my mother's house, I walk up to the back door, rather than walking around to the front door.

"I hope it's not locked, I don't have a key," I say to Jack.

"There are ways to unlock doors without keys. Trust me." I wrap my hand around the door handle and turn it, pushing it open and entering the kitchen. My mother looks up at us startled when we come in. She yelps a little before recognition kicks in. Jack shuts the door behind us.

"Oh my goodness, Sophie you startled me. What are you doing coming in the back door without knocking, all dressed like that?" I look down at my clothes. I'm wearing light colored jeans and black ankle booties with my black trench coat. I don't see anything wrong with this outfit.

"I need to use your phone," I tell her.

"Go ahead. What's wrong with your phone?"

"It's dead."

"Well that would explain why you never answer when I call you anymore." I'm starting to get an eye twitch. Ten seconds in my mother's house, and I already have an eye twitch. I press my finger to my eyelid and go to get the phone. Jack sits down at the kitchen table, helping himself to an apple from the fruit dish in the center of it. My mother gives him a perplexed look and he gives her his most charming smile. I know the smile well, he gives it to me whenever he's being a cocky ass.

"What's up, toots?" he says to her. She raises her eyebrows in shock, like she wasn't expecting him to say anything at all.

"I'll just call Adam and have him bring us some gas, then we'll be on our way."

"You're in such a hurry to be out of here, you just got here. I swear Sophie, I never see you anymore. You didn't even come over for Christmas."

"I called..." I say.

"It was Christmas. You could have taken some time to come and visit your sister on Christmas. And it's not just that. You never answer the phone when I call. I come over and you're not home."

"You never come over!" I argue.

"You wouldn't know because you're never home. I mean, really. What are you doing all the time that keeps you from seeing and talking to me?"

"I'm just busy a lot. It's not that I don't want to see you." The eye is twitching like mad now. I press my finger to my eye harder. Jack is giving me a know it all grin.

"Why do you have your hand over your eye like that?" My mother asks.

"Just a little eye twitch."

"An eye twitch? You know that's a sign of anxiety, right? You should go to the Doctor and have someone look at that. Have you been feeling anxious lately? Have you ever felt like you were going to have an anxiety attack?" Only right now.

"I'm fine. Just an eye twitch. No biggie."

"I still think you need to have that checked out."

"I'm going to go call Adam now." I quickly exit the room and go into the living room where the phone is. I sit at my Stepfather's desk and dial my home phone number. Adam lets the answering machine pick it up.

"Babe? It's me, pick up," I say. He answers immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hey, can you bring some gas over to my mothers?"

"Why are you at your mothers?"

"We ran out of gas and my cell died, so we walked over here so I could call you."

"You walked to your mothers?"

"We were in the neighborhood." I can almost see him smirking.

"How's that going?"

"I've had an eye twitch since the moment we walked in the door."

"Is Jack putting his moves on your mom?"

"I don't even want to know what they're talking about in there." He laughs.

"Alright. I'll be over in a little bit."

"Babe, hurry."

"I will. Love you."

"Too." I put the phone back on it's cradle and walk back into the kitchen. Both my mother and Jack are sitting at the kitchen table in silence. I pause in the doorway.

"He'll be here in a bit," I say. They both nod and mutter some words. I walk over and sit at the table with them, and the silence continues.

"You know last year at this time, you were getting married," my mother says out of nowhere. Jack and I look at each other, then I look at her.

"Yep."

"To a man I hardly knew. You only told me you were dating him a month before."

"We actually got engaged the same day I told you I was dating him." Jack snorts. My mother gives me a horrified look.

"What? I couldn't help it. I didn't know he was gonna propose to me."

"You must have had some idea."

"No I didn't. It was a complete surprise." I think back to that night, and that whole time period. It seems so long ago.

"We did a lot of crazy things back then," I say.

"Everything has changed since you two got married. Not all for the better, either."

"Mother, lets not get into this. I told you a long time ago that you didn't get to comment on my personal life."

"Well Sophie, I'm your mother. No matter what you say, I get a say in what you do. That's just the way it is." Oh God. The eye twitch is coming back.

"After you got married, I never hear from you or see you anymore. Is there something going on with you two?" she pauses for a second. "Is he hitting you?" Jack tries, but doesn't succeed in holding back a laugh. It comes out more like a grunt.

"MOTHER!"

"I just wondered. You know that's what they say happens to women who get abused. They turn very anti social. They stay inside, and don't talk to their family anymore." My mouth falls open and I shake my head back and forth at her.

"That's not what's going on." Where the hell is Adam with that gas?

"Well then what is going on?"

"Nothing! We're just busy. We have lives that are pretty chaotic at times, and it doesn't leave a lot of time for phone calls and visits. I have been to Joe and Billie's in forever, they probably think I'm dead. It's not just you, mother. It's just life, OK?!"

She doesn't say anything. In fact, no one says anything. I hear the doorbell ring and I get up to answer it. My mother and Jack follow. When I open the door, Mike is outside holding a gas can, smiling at me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I went over to your place to pick up the kid, and Adam said that he was on his way over here to get you guys. So I told him to stay home and I would bring you some gas and pick up the kid at the same time."

"What's up?" Jack asks.

"I've got some work for you tonight. Now lets get out of here." The two of them walk out the front door to Mike's car, leaving me alone in the house with my mother.

"I'm going with Adam on tour for at least a month. I'll call you sometime when we're out there."

"When are you leaving?"

"The day after tomorrow." She comes over to me and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Be safe, OK?" I nod.

"I love you."

"Love you, too." I turn and walk out the front door to where Mike and Jack are waiting for me in the car. I get in the back seat and Mike backs out of the driveway.

"I don't think your mom likes me," Jack says.

"Why?"

"I don't know. All I asked was if she had any cougar friends that might be interested in a threesome with Nikki and me." Mike laughs.

"Oh Jesus, Jack."