When Everything Gets Crazy, I Get Lost In You.

Adam and I walk into our hotel room at about 3:30 in the morning, wound for sound. I throw my bag onto one of the two queen sized beds and sit down at the desk chair to take my shoes off. My ears are thumping from the echos from the amps at the show tonight. It's a sound that I've gotten pretty used to lately. I can only imagine what it sounds like for Adam and the other guys.

It's been two days since Austin and Jackie were here, and now we're starting a three day break. Tonight and tomorrow night we get to stay in hotels, and then we're going back on the bus to travel to the next venue in Missouri.

I pull my shoes and socks off and throw them to the side of the room. I see Adam standing next to the window lighting a cigarette and adjusting the thermostat on the heater.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I tell him. He nods without looking at me. I start going through my bag, looking for something to put on after my shower, then I give up and resort to the large white bathroom that the hotel supplies.

"It's too late to order food," Adam says absently.

"I'm not that hungry anyways."

"Me neither." And with that I head to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

The bathroom is pretty basic. I big long vanity with a black marble counter top and one white fiberglass sink. A white fiberglass shower with a clear glass door. And white tile on the floor with dark gray grout. I remove my clothes that I wore to the show tonight and put them in a dirty clothes bag, then pull the drawstring tight and leave it on the floor. I reach in the shower and turn the water on as hot as it will go and take the barrettes that are holding my bangs out of my face, out of my hair. I take a towel down from it's place on a shelf over the toilet and set it on the vanity so it's in reach when I get out of the shower.

I get in the shower and pull the glass door shut, then just let the hot water wash over me. It's been two days since I showered last and at home that might not seem like a long time, but when you're out here it feels like forever.

I've been in the shower for about two minutes when I hear the door open and see Adam walk into the bathroom with something in his hand. He pulls himself up so that he's sitting on the vanity directly across the room from me.

"Hey babe," I say to him.

"Hey fly," he says, still looking down at what I assume is his phone.

"What's up?"

"Jack just sent me a text, saying that he's flying out tomorrow by himself and staying for a night, then staying the next day and leaving that next night. I tried texting him back and he didn't reply. I tried calling and he didn't answer."

"By himself? I wonder why Nikki isn't coming."

"That's why I was trying to get ahold of him, but now he won't answer."

"Did you try calling the house?"

"No. I'm trying Nikki now." I watch as he dials the number, and a second later I hear ringing. He must have the phone on speaker. After it rings about six times, Nikki's voice comes on the line telling us that she can't come to the phone right now and to leave a message.

"Hey girl it's Adam. You're probably working right now, but um, give me a call when you get this would you please? OK, bye," Adam says, then he hangs up.

"It's almost four in the morning, babe," I say to him.

"What did I say?"

"That she was probably working."

"Fuck." He pushes some more buttons on the phone and a second later I hear ringing again and then my voice on the answering machine at the house. He hangs up without leaving a message.

"What the hell, everyone in the fucking world has a phone and yet no one answers the cock suckers at four in the morning?" I smirk to myself and start rinsing conditioner out of my hair.

"I'll let you finish in here," he says, jumping down from the counter and starting to leave the bathroom.

"I'll be out in a minute." I quickly finish up in the shower and turn it off, hopping out and drying off with the towel that I got out earlier, then wrapping it around my torso. I finger comb my hair and put some mousse in it, then I drop the towel to the ground and put the bathrobe on.

When I come out of the bathroom, I see Adam laying on the bed watching TV, just wearing a pair of jeans. As soon as I enter the room his eyes wander over to me and he gives me a once over. I see his blue eyes become icy and sort of squinty, and he immediately turns the TV off and throws the remote onto the other bed. I smile at him and wander over to where he is now sitting on the edge of the bed. He puts his head down, resting the top of it between my breasts, and puts his hands on my lower back. I run my hands gently through his hair and look down at him. A second later he lifts his head back up and un-ties my robe, opening it and putting his hands inside and rests them on my hips.

In one swift movement he removes the robe and lifts me up around my waist and lays me down on the bed. My head sinks into the overly soft pillows as I watch him remove his jeans and throw them on the other bed. He crawls on top of me on his hands and knees, then he lowers himself to his elbows and starts to kiss my lips and touch the ends of my hair. He moves his hands a little lower on my body, and his lips follow in pursuit, kissing down my jawline and throat, then down to my collarbone, taking his time and moving his hands smoothly up and down my sides.

"I want you," I tell him, pushing my hands against his chest until he rolls over onto his back. I crawl on top of him and kiss his lips again, then start moving down his neck and chest. He takes my hands in his and kisses the tops of them, then I move back up and kiss his lips again.

"Sit up," I tell him and he immediately obliges, sitting up as far as my body will allow him to, and with one thrust of my hips I can feel him inside of me. I place one hand on the wall behind the bed to support us and keep him sitting up for as long as possible. He puts one hand on my hip, and the other on my right breast, squeezing it and gently biting the nipple. I moan loudly as I feel myself come undone for the first time. I watch his face when I feel his whole body tense up under me. He shuts his eyes as he releases inside of me and a moan escapes from his lips, making me smile just from the utter pleasure of the whole thing.

I fall off of him onto my stomach beside his body, and he lays back on the bed, both of us sweating and panting hard. After I come down, I reach over and rub my finger across his chest as it rises and falls. I lay my hand flat over where I know his heart is, and I feel it pounding rapidly. He looks over at me without an expression.

"I love you," he says.

"Too."

"Say the words."

"I love you."

"Now say it without me asking you to." I frown at him.

"I love you, Adam. More than anyone, more than anything. You know that," I say, my voice sounding a little fierce. He looks back up at the ceiling without saying another word.

A moment later, I'm still laying on my stomach. I think Adam might be asleep, so I close my eyes to try and get a few hours in too. Almost as soon as I shut my eyes, I feel Adam sit up and after that I feel him laying on top of me again, and I can feel him hard against my leg.

"Mmm," I moan quietly.

"Get up on your knees," he whispers to me and like he did for me earlier, I immediately do as he tells me. I grab ahold of the bedframe just as he thrusts into me again.

When we're done this time, I'm completely spent and I can tell he is too. I snuggle into bed on my side and I feel him casually place his arm around my waist, keeping a firm but still loose grip on my lower abdomen. Minutes later I hear his breathing steady and I can tell he's asleep.

The next morning when I wake up, I feel completely rested and wonderful. Adam wakes up not too long after and we lay in bed and watch TV for a little while and smoke cigarettes, one right after the other until we finish half a pack. Adam grabs the phone that's next to the bed and calls down to room service to have some coffee sent up. I decide to get up and put my robe on so I can answer the door for the room service guy when he comes up. As soon as I start to sit up, I realize that the muscles in my ass, the backs of my thighs, all the way down to the backs of my knees are aching like a son of a bitch. I grimace as I stand up and Adam gives me a sideways glance, knowing what caused my aching muscles.

"A little sore this morning, fly girl?" he asks with a smile.

"Fuck you," I say, putting my robe on and stumbling to the bathroom to pee. When I come back out he's still laughing.

"I hate you," I say, crawling back into bed with him. He sits up and tickles me and grabs at me. I laugh at him and push him away from me.

"You're such a bitch," he says. He says it with a smile on his face, so I know he's only kidding, but I stick my lower lip out and fake pout. He leans over to me and runs his tongue over my lower lip, making me smile.

"Am I forgiven?" he asks.

"Yes." We both look up when room service knocks on the door.

"Coffee's here," I say. We both get out of bed and I watch him as he walks completely naked to the bathroom and shuts the door. I shake my head and answer the door.

"Good morning, ma'am," A young guys asks me as he comes into the room with a tray that has a small coffee pot and two dishes with cream and sugar in them and sets them on the desk. I go over to my bag and take some money out and hand it to him for a tip.

"Thank you, ma'am," he says as he leaves the room and I shut the door behind him. As soon as he's gone I go over to where he put the coffee, and pour myself a glass, adding some cream and sugar as Adam comes back out of the bathroom.

"What are we going to do today? We have to check out of here at eleven and they won't let us back in until three thirty," he says as he pours himself some of the coffee.

"Probably just go hang out on the bus or something."

"Barry was talking about getting his knuckles tatted yesterday. I saw a tattoo shop not too far from here when we came in." I nod and take a sip of my coffee.

"I wanted to get my other hand done," he says.

"So that's an idea, I guess."

"Mmhmm." After we finish our coffee we get dressed and start getting ready to check out of the room for the day.

When we're done we head outside to the bus. As we walk up to it, I see Brad and Barry standing outside of it with the bands body guard, smoking. Adam stays outside with them and I go inside to drop off our bags. When I get inside I see Neil and Chris sitting in the main lounge. I limp past them into the bunk area and drop Adam's and my bags in our storage area under our bunk, then limp back into the lounge.

"Why are you limping?" Neil asks as I plop down on the couch next to him. I shake my head at him and look up at what they're watching on TV, trying to get him off of it.

"Long night?"

"Drop it, Sanderson," I snap and he starts laughing like a douche. I shake my head again just as the others come inside.

"Sophie, we're gonna go get tatted. You coming?" Adam asks me.

"Yeah." I pull myself up off of the couch carefully and limp off to follow him and Barry.

Some how I manage to limp my way all the way down the street about a block and a half to the tattoo shop. We go inside and the guys tell the two artists what they want. Barry is getting the word 'Mean' on his right hand, and Adam is getting 'Hope' on his left hand, since he already has his right hand done. I'm not getting anything this time around. The last tattoo I got was right after Adam and I got married, on my arm and after that I decided that I was going to wait awhile before I got anything else. Plus I haven't found anything else that I want on my body for the rest of my life, yet.

The artists get two chairs set up right next to each other with a little space in between them, and the guys both sit down and wait while the artists draw up their designs. I walk around the shop and look at some designs that are all over the walls, then I sit down next to Adam with a book of piercings and start flipping through it while we wait.

I feel Adam looking over my shoulder as I flip through the book, then he reaches out and stops me as I turn a page.

"What?" I ask him and he points to a picture of a girl with a tiny hoop with a small ball in the middle of it in her tragus.

"Didn't you want that?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Why don't you get it?"

"Today?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"What are we getting?" A guy asks, coming up to us and looking over my shoulder at the book. He has two nose piercings, snake bites, two eyebrow piercings in each eye, and both arms covered in tattoos.

"She wants to get her tragus done," Adam tells him. The tattoo artist that's working on Barry comes up and starts placing the stencils on his knuckles.

"Well lets get it done, then," the guy says. I look at Adam and then look at the guy. Adam nods and I get up and follow the guy. I fill out a piece of paper giving my consent and confirming that I'm of legal age, then I follow him back to a chair. He fixes the chair so that it's completely flat and tells me to lay down on my side on it. I hop up on the chair and lay so that my left ear is up. He gets some stuff out and shows me the jewelry and the needle so that I'm aware that everything is fresh and sterile, then he puts a tiny piece of cork inside my ear.

"Ready?" he asks me.

"Yeah, go for it." He swabs my ear with some alcohol, then positions the needle above my ear. I feel him touch the needle to my ear and a second later, he's pushed it all the way through and I feel it connect with the piece of cork. He quickly works to take the needle out and put the jewelry in my ear. Then he takes the cork out and cleans my ear with another alcohol swab.

"You are all done, my dear," he tells me. I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the table, and he gives me a mirror. I check out the piercing and thank him, then trot over to show Adam.

Both he and Barry are in the process of getting tattooed when I come over. They're both watching the artists intently.

"What do you think?" I ask Adam, showing him my ear. He reaches out with his free hand and turns my head so he can see it a little better.

"Pretty fucking sweet."

"You think?"

"Yeah." I laugh.

"Mama did it!" I say with another laugh. He grins at me and I trot over to show Barry, who gives me a little half smirk. I sit down on a little stool in between their chairs and watch as they get tattooed.

"Does it hurt?" I ask them. Adam looks at me with his lips pressed tightly together and his eyes wide and nods his head quickly.

"I kind of like the pain of it," Barry says.

"Well you're a fucking demon. You're supposed to like pain," I say and they both laugh.

When they're done the tattoo artists wrap up their hands and we pay for everything, then we walk back down the street to the bus. When we go inside I immediately notice Jack and Mike sitting on the couch in the main lounge with Brad and Neil. They both get up when we walk in. I'm very surprised to see Mike here. I definitely wasn't expecting him to be here.

"Hey mama," Jack says to me with a smile, giving me a tight hug.

"Hey baby. How are you? How was your flight?"

"Mmm, it was good."

"Where's Nikki?"

"Uh... I don't really know right at the moment. You know Nikki." I frown and then Mike wraps his arms around me. I give him a quizzical look.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you both later," he says quietly into my ear, I'm assuming so Jack doesn't hear him. I break away from him and see Adam talking to Jack beside us.

"What did you guys get matching tattoos on your knuckles?" Mike asks Adam and Barry, jokingly. "Did you get each others names? That is so cute." Barry rolls his eyes and heads back to the bunk area, and Adam just gives him a light knock to the shoulder. We all sit down and talk about a bunch of shit for a while, then at 3:30 we all head into the hotel to check back in for the night.

Jack and Mike get a room together, and after they drop their stuff off they come back to our room to hang out. We order room service and watch movies and smoke cigarettes until about midnight, then Jack heads off to their room to go to sleep, while Mike hangs back. As soon as Jack is gone, Mike gets up from the bed where he was laying watching TV. He waits a few seconds then opens our room door and peeks out into the hallway, then shuts the door and comes skipping back into the room.

"Dude, there are all kinds of issues going on with him and her back at home," he says, plopping back down on the bed Indian style.

"What do you mean? Is that why she isn't here?" Adam asks.

"I guess so. Well, a couple weeks ago she started acting all weird about a bunch of shit. She was like, all spaced out and shit. I just assumed that she was fucking tired from running around like a fucking freak all the time, ya know? Both of them are wrapped up tight in fucking work and school all the time, I just assumed that she needed some sleep."

"OK..."

"Then about a week ago, she says that she got fired from her job. And she's like crying all flipping the fuck out because she needed that money for gas and to survive on, and her parents hate her and won't give her money and all this shit. So Jack's like, why do your parents hate you? What's up with that, ya know? And she's just going on and on, and she was like convinced that her parents were going to kick her out of the house and she was going to be homeless, which I thought was weird because, wasn't she supposed to be living at your place with him while you two were gone?"

"Yeah. She was going to stay with Jack because it was easier than driving back and forth between places all the time," I say.

"Oh yeah, and all of this went down in the middle of Rodi's where we were hanging out one night. Me and Jack and Shaun and Daisy, we're all hanging out and she comes busting in out of nowhere, flipping out and telling Jack all of this. I thought she was going off the fucking deep end or something."

"What did Jack do?" Adam asks.

"He just was telling her to calm the fuck down, and that it would all work out and shit. You know, being all good boyfriend like and all."

"That's very odd, none of that seems like Nikki at all."

"None of it is like her. And that's not all either, she's been acting fucking weird for weeks. Jack knows that's somethings up with her, and I think he probably has some idea on what it is, but he's not saying anything to me or Shaun. Anytime I bring it up, he just says something like, 'oh she's just tired, or stressed' or something like that."

"Hmm..." I say.

"If I didn't know better I would think that she was fucking stoned or something. That might explain why she got fired from her job."

"Did she say why she got fired?"

"Oh she blamed it on layoffs or something. The place she works at was cutting back or something."

"Maybe one of us should talk to him tomorrow, babe. If he's gonna say anything it will be to one of us," I say to Adam.

"Yeah. I'll talk to him in the morning and see what he has to say about things."

"Alright, well I just wanted to let you guys know what was going on. I'm gonna get going back to the room now so he doesn't think I'm in here telling on him or some bullshit," Mike says, getting up from the bed. I get up and give him a hug and walk him to the door.

When I come back I crawl onto the bed next to Adam and wrap my arm around his stomach.

"It's been a while. We're due for some drama, babe."

"I guess so."