When Everything Gets Crazy, I Get Lost In You.

Last media tour, last meet n' greet, last show, last plane ride. Thank fucking God.

We actually finished the media stuff already, and now we're at the meet n' greet, which is always fun. I know the guys really love meeting with their fans.

It's been a week since Jack and Mike came out. Jack had to leave the next day, but Mike decided that he would hang out for a while and do some work on the road crew. Kind of a half-hearted effort being as there was only one week left of the tour, but it was the thought I guess.

Adam tried talking to Jack about what was going on back at home with Nikki, but he pretty much just told him the same thing that he'd been telling Mike this whole time. That she was just tired and stressed out, and that everything was fine. I'm not sure if I believe him 100% though. I know Jack, and I know him well enough now that I know when something isn't quite right with him. Adam told me not to worry too much, so that's what I'm going to try to do.

Right now the guys are all sitting behind a table talking to and signing things for a long line of fans that have been waiting for several hours to see them. They're headlining a radio station sponsored festival tonight, so the meet n' greet is outside under a little canopy type thing. Mike and I are sitting on two barstools behind the guys, messing with our phones and observing the happenings around us.

I look up from my phone and see a young girl walk up to the guys. Adam is second in line to sign things. She hands Neil, who is first in line, a t-shirt to sign and he also signs a small poster for her, then passes the stuff of to Adam. He smiles up at her and shakes her hand, saying something to her that I can't hear over the other crowd noise all around us. I watch her say some things to Adam while he just looks up at her. Then something strange strikes me about this girl. She's younger than Adam and I, but older than Jack. Probably closer to Mike's age. She has long white blonde hair that has some very bright pink chunks in the under layer. Her faded jeans are ripped in the knees, she's wearing combat boots similar to the ones on my feet, and a hot pink women's style t-shirt with some graphics from the guys' album on the front and back of it. The whole time that Brad and Barry sign her shirt and poster, she's still talking to Adam which is very odd. Everyone else today has moved on down the line like normal. There are a couple people behind her now, and they're looking kind of annoyed with her holding up the line so she can talk to Adam.

"Michael," I say to Mike to get his attention. He looks up from his phone and glances over at the scene in front of us. He looks the girl over then looks at me.

"She kind of looks like you, Gontier. Shorter and not as skinny though. Her hair is longer too." I take a closer look at her and see that he is kind of right. Her facial features are different, but if I didn't know any better I would definitely think that she was trying to look like me.

"She hasn't stopped talking to Adam this whole time."

"You gonna kick her ass?" he asks with a smile.

"No but she's kind of creeping me out."

"Ooh, stalker. That is creepy." The girl looks up from her conversation with Adam, and seems to notice Mike and I for the first time. We make eye contact, then she quickly looks down at Adam again.

"That was a little creepy," Mike says to me.

"For sure." I look around and notice Bubba, the band security guard standing nearby. I get up from my barstool and go over to him.

"Hey, maybe you want to step in and keep the crowd moving here, eh?" I say.

"You don't like the girl?" he asks.

"Kind of creeping me out, ya know?" he grins.

"I noticed her too. I'll get her out of here as soon as pictures are taken, but I will get this line moving."

"Thanks Bubba," I say and walk back over to Mike. I sit back down on my barstool and watch for a little while. I notice the girl is now talking to both Adam, and Barry who is sitting next to him. I see Brad look down the table at the line of people who are still waiting, then he looks back at Bubba. When Bubba sees Brad's look, he's immediately in action. He comes over and takes the girl by her arm and gently says something in her ear. She looks surprised at first, then she moves down the line to the next line-up of people who are waiting to get pictures taken. Once she's gone I see Adam look over at Neil and shake his head.

The line moves on normally and once everyone has had something signed, the guys all get up and move over to where the pictures will be taken. Mike and I get up now and stand where Bubba is standing so that we can get a better view of everything. I cringe a little when it becomes the girl's turn to get a picture with the guys.

The band has had a policy since they started these last couple tours, that during meet n' greet pictures, no one touches the fans. It got to a point last year where it was becoming uncomfortable for both the guys and the fans. I mean really, who wants some stranger putting their hand on your back and potentially other places. Every now and then if there is a kid at a meet n' greet, the guys will put their arms around their shoulders or something, but other than that, no touching.

Adam and Barry stand on one side of the girl, Adam standing next to her in the middle as usual. And Neil and Brad stand on the other side. Neil has his hands behind his back, and the look on his face is expressionless. Barry has the hood up on his sweatshirt and his face is similar to Neil's. Brad and Adam both kind of smirk. Out of nowhere, the girl wraps her arms tightly around Adam's waist, right before Chris snaps the picture. She puts her head against his chest and smiles big. Adam doesn't really react except for putting his hand on her shoulder lightly. Once the picture is taken, she lets go and smiles up at him again, and says something to him. I see the other guys looking at her like she's lost her mind, but they don't say anything. Adam gives her a tense smile, then says something to her in which she replies to by putting her hand on his chest.

"Are you seeing this?" Mike asks me.

"I see it."

"Like, what the fuck?"

"It's not a real tour until some creep comes out of the woodwork."

"Yeah no shit. At least after tonight it's over and you don't have to worry about creeps." I watch as Chris moves her out of the canopy so that the next group of people can get pictures taken.

The rest of the pictures go off without a hitch, and when the guys are done they come over to Mike and I and Bubba.

"That was a little weird," I say to Adam.

"You noticed that, huh?"

"It was kind of hard not to notice, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess. There's always one in the crowd."

"Mmhmm."

"We're gonna go walk around and see what we can see," Neil says to us. "You guys coming?"

"Yeah," Adam says to him, taking my hand in his and pulling me in their direction. The seven of us all troop out of the canopy and walk around the busy festival grounds, people watching. Adam, Barry, and Neil all go into a canopy that's giving free clothes and stuff away to band members, and when they come out, Adam has two new shirts and a bag with a bunch of other crap in it. When Barry and Neil come out they also have bags. I take all of the bags from them and hold them for them as we continue walking.

We go back to the bus for a while and eat and drop of the guy's stuff, then we put on our band passes and head back out to watch some of the bands that are already performing. The best part of doing festivals is that you aren't trapped on your bus all day. There are no soundchecks, and you don't have to worry about doing merch, so you have your whole day just to hang out and be a fan.

We go sidestage and watch Apocalyptica perform for a while. One of the member's of the band notices us standing there, and invites Adam to come onstage and sing the song that he did with them a while back. The crowd goes crazy when the lead singer introduces him, and he goes out onstage with a big smile, waving at everyone. I stand with the rest of the guys as we watch Adam perform. One of my favorite things to do is watch Adam onstage. Lately I've seen so much of it that I haven't appreciated it as much, but seeing him onstage with another band, singing a song that isn't his own, is definitely bringing it back for me. When the song is over, Adam gives all the guys hugs then comes back over to where the guy's and I are standing to finish watching the show.

Once that show is over, we wait until the next band comes out. Since we've all been trapped on the bus for almost two months, none of us know what the hell is going on or what the schedule for the performances are, so this will be a surprise for all of us. We watch Puddle of Mudd play, and I jump up and down and rock out because they have always been a favorite of mine. The guys laugh at my enthusiasm, but I don't care. I'm having a blast. After Puddle of Mudd is done, Halestorm comes out and they rock too. In the middle of their show, Chris calls and tells us that we need to start heading back to the bus to get ready for the show.

We walk back to the bus and Mike and I hang out while the guys get dressed and ready to go. Since it is a festival, there are no dressing rooms, so they have to get dressed on the bus. Neil and Adam come out first. Neil in his usual uniform of jeans, a white undershirt and a black vest over it. Adam is wearing black jeans, a black sleeveless button up shirt, black combat boots like mine, and his black fedora. Once Barry and Brad come out we all go back outside and get in a van that's going to take us to the stage area. Mike goes off to work with the rest of the crew to get the stage set up, and the guys and I hang out in the backstage area.

The guys go out and play their show just before dark. I'm actually really excited to see some of my favorite bands that we were watching earlier, lurking sidestage watching the show. The crowd is really into it too, jumping and screaming whenever Adam tells them to, and anytime in between that he doesn't. Three Days Grace is playing before Godsmack, who is headlining, and when I look over I almost scream when I see Sully and Shannon from Godsmack standing literally ten feet away from me. I pull at Mike's hand and motion over to them, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. He looks over at them, then looks down at me and smiles. Now I'm kind of disappointed that we aren't going to be able to hang out after the show and watch their set. After the show gets done here, we are going immediately back to the bus so the guys can change, then we're getting in a van that is going to take us to the airport, then we're taking a red eye flight home, hopefully getting home in the morning.

"We're gonna go back to our first record, we're gonna do a song from our first record. And this song is about being stuck at home, with nothing to do. But more importantly, this song is about being treated like shit, while you're stuck at home with nothing to do," I hear Adam say to the crowd, snapping me out of my little trance.

"Now this is the song, where I want to see this whole fucking floor, going crazy, man. From the front, all the way to the fucking back. I want to see this place going fucking nuts. I know you can do it. If you're sitting down in your seats, I want you to get the fuck up. Come on, get up," he says. I smile a little to myself, nodding along to the opening chords that Barry and Neil are playing.

"Winnipeg, are you ready?!" he screams into his mic. The whole crowd screams loudly, and Adam shakes his head at them.

"I don't know. I can't fucking hear you. Winnipeg. Are. You. Ready?!" The crowd screams again, louder this time, but Adam yet again shakes his head at them.

"You know, we can do this all night, Winnipeg. One more time, lets see how fucking loud we can get. Winnipeg, are you ready?!" he screams one last time just as the band launches into the opening chords of Home. The crowd goes crazy and the guys are stomping all over the stage, headbanging.

"I'll be coming home, just to be alone!" Adam yells into his mic, flipping the crowd off.

In the middle of the song there is a little breakdown part and he makes the crowd sing back to him until he's once again satisfied with how loud they're getting, then they go back into the last chorus. When the song is over a shit ton of pyrotechnics go off, and Neil slams the drums hard. When its over, they stay onstage for a few minutes and throw things to the crowd until they're beckoned off the stage by security and Chris.

Once they're off stage, its a rush to get back in the van and get back to the bus. Once we're back to the bus, it's a rush to get changed and get our bags loaded into the van, and load back up to head to the airport. I'm still dressed in the same clothes that I wore all afternoon. Adam and the rest of the guys all got to change.

The van is eerily quiet after being onstage in front of all those people. To go from thousands of people screaming, and amplifiers wailing, and pyro going off, to utter and complete silence in less than a half hour, is quite startling. I know my ears are ringing, I can only imagine what the guys are going through here.

When we get to the airport, Chris gets us all set up so that we're in line and waiting with our tickets and passports, then he takes all of our luggage to check it in so that we don't have to worry about it. Sometimes it is nice to have Chris around to be our bitch boy. Surprisingly, the line for our flight is pretty long and it's about an hour long wait before we actually board the plane at 12:30 at night.

Our flight is supposedly only supposed to take 2 to 2 and a half hours, but we sit on the runway for what feels like days, but is only about an hour before we takeoff, then we have to stop about halfway home in Milwaukee, to switch planes. Once we board the next plane it's already four in the morning. We sit on the runway for another hour before we take off.

We finally land at about six thirty in the morning, in Chicago. Mike's girlfriend, Shayna is waiting for us at the airport with Heather, Rhonda, and Janin. Both Rhonda and Janin have the kids with them, including their baby boys that were both born right before we left on tour.

"Hey babe," Mike says to Shayna, wrapping an arm tightly around her neck and giving her a kiss on her forehead. We all talk for a few minutes, then we all head off to get our luggage. After we get our luggage we all go in separate directions to leave. I'm completely exhausted from the flight. None of us got any sleep on the plane. In fact, none of us have probably gotten any sleep since the night before and it's written all over Adam's and Mike's faces.

We drive the hour back to Peoria, and Shayna drops Adam and I off at our house. When we get there, I see Billie's car parked by itself in the driveway. Jack and Nikki are at school I assume.

"Billie's here," Adam says. His voice just above a whisper. I lean over the front seat and give Mike and Shayna a kiss, then Adam and I get out of the car and collect our luggage from the trunk.

When we go inside the dogs start barking immediately, greeting us at the front door. We crouch down and let them jump all over us and lick our faces. We pet them and give them hugs and kisses, just as Billie walks around the corner.

"Welcome home," she says, holding her arms out to us. I stand up first and give her a hug, then Adam stands up and gives her a hug.

"How was your flight?"

"Long as hell," Adam says, dumping one of his bags on the floor.

"Where's Jack?" I ask her.

"School. They were on their way out when I was pulling in. Jack was driving Nikki in your car."

"His car. We gave it to him before we left. How did they seem?"

"Fine. Jack stopped and talked to me for a second. He asked me if I needed him to do anything before you guys got home. Nikki waited for him in the car."

"How did she seem?"

"Good, I guess. Just, normal. She said hello, then she got in the car and waited for him. Why?" I shake my head.

"I'm probably just over thinking it."

"Well you both look exhausted. You should go on into bed and get some sleep. I'll get your bags unpacked and do your laundry, and then I'll go grocery shopping and get you some food since I'm sure Jack has been too busy to keep the house stocked while you were gone."

"Thanks, mom," Adam says to her. "You don't have to stay though."

"No, it's my pleasure. I have nothing else to do this morning. I might as well do what I can to help you guys get settled in."

"Well thank you."

"I made coffee, but I'm sure you guys probably just want to get to bed."

"Yes," I say.

"Mabel, Simba, come on. Lets go to bed," Adam says, patting his leg so they follow him into the bedroom. I yawn and watch them go, then sit down on the arm of the couch.

"So how are you? How's dad, and Liv and Kya?" I ask. She smiles reassuringly at me.

"I will be here when you wake up, my love. Go on to bed with Adam." I yawn again and she pats the side of my face lightly.

"Night night," I tell her and she laughs, then I go into the bedroom.

I find Adam pulling back the blankets on the bed and crawling in, in only his boxers when I come into the room. I go into the bathroom to wash off yesterday's make-up and when I come back out I see Adam laying on his back with his eyes shut. Both dogs are laying on either side of his feet. I go into the closet and put on a 3/4 sleeved nightshirt. I walk up to the side of the bed and grab Simba around his stomach and pull him over to the side of the bed, then I crawl in next to Adam. He wakes up when I do and looks over at me.

"Thanks, I thought my feet were going to suffocate." I laugh and curl up into his chest.

I feel Simba scoot over so that he's as close to me as possible. I smile to myself and shut my eyes, and not too much longer, we're all asleep.