When Everything Gets Crazy, I Get Lost In You.

I wake up in the morning when I feel Adam's body shift next to mine, and his arm slip around my body gently. I open my eyes and look up at him and see that his eyes are shut. I move a little closer to him and he opens his eyes and looks down at me, smiling sleepily. He brings his hand from my waist up to my face and strokes my cheek gently with his fingers.

"Happy birthday butterfly babe," he says softly, his already raspy voice sounding slightly husky.

I reach for his mouth with mine and kiss him passionately for a minute, then his alarm starts going off on his night stand. He groans and rolls over to shut it off.

"Babe," I say to him.

"I have to go do some obligated band thing at some radio station."

"You're leaving me on my birthday?"

"The sooner I go, the sooner I can come home." I roll over onto my back and cross my arms over my chest, pouting. He snuggles in close to my and wraps his arm around my waist, kissing my ear lobe.

"Babe, don't be mad at me," he says in between kisses. "Do you want to know what your surprise is?"

"What surprise?"

"Your birthday surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"You'll like this one. I promise," he says, leaning over and kissing my lips. I kiss him back, then go back to my pouting.

"Do you wanna hear it?"

"Yes." He rolls over and reaches into the drawer of his nightstand. I hear him light a cigarette and fiddle with some papers, then he rolls back over, supporting his body weight on his elbow. He waves two tickets in front of my face, dangling the cigarette between his lips.

"What are those?" I ask. God, why does he have to be so irresistible? He pushes a piece of his long black hair back.

"These are two tickets to see Citizen Cope at the Star Lounge in Chicago, tonight for a special acoustic concert."

"Citizen Cope?" He nods his head and I smile, reaching up and taking his face in my hands. He quickly takes the cigarette out of his mouth and I kiss his lips.

"Good surprise?" he asks.

"Great surprise. I can't wait." He starts humming a Citizen Cope song to me, then we're interrupted by a knock on our bedroom door.

"Come in," I say to the door. It opens and Jack steps in the room, wearing dark colored jeans, his leather jacket and his book bag hanging on his shoulder.

"Hey baby," I say to him, sitting up on my elbows. Adam is laying on his side next to me, looking over his shoulder at Jack.

Jack leans over Adam's body and gives me a one armed hug, and hands me an envelope.

"Happy birthday Mama," he says quietly and deeply.

"You got me a card?" I say, looking at the envelope.

"Yeah, don't open it until I leave. I gotta go to a class this morning, then I'm coming back for the rest of the afternooon.

"You working tonight?" Adam asks him.

"Mike's gonna come and get me, but I don't know how much work we'll be doing." he nods.

"So, I'm gonna go. I'll be back in a little bit," he says.

"Yeah, I've gotta get going too before Chris starts calling and freaking out," Adam says, kissing me one more time and flipping the covers off of his body.

"Bye Mama," Jack says as he turns to leave the room.

"Bye baby." After he's gone, and Adam is in the shower, I open Jack's card. It has a white background with some pretty flowers on the front and some silver script that says, Happy Birthday. I open it and on the inside is the pretty basic message, then Jack has written some words at the bottom.

Hey Mama, thanks for everything that you've ever done for me, and everything you continue to do. I'll never be able to thank you enough. I love you. I hope you have a good day. Jack.

I smile at the message then close the card and put it and the envelope on my night stand. I get out of bed and put some sweat pants on and a black bandeau top, gathering all of my hair on top of my head and holding it there with an elastic. I go out to the kitchen and start a pot of coffee, feed the dogs and let them outside which, Jack must have already done since the only thing they want to do is chase squirrels. I bring them back inside and pour myself a cup of coffee, and sit on the kitchen counter waiting for Adam to get out of the shower.

He comes out a little while later, dressed in jeans, a flannel shirt open with a white shirt under it, and a black zip up hooded sweatshirt over it, and a black beanie on his head. He has his combat boots in his hand, and he drops them on the floor next to the dining room table on his way into the kitchen. He zips the sweatshirt up about halfway, then pours some coffee into thermos. He comes over to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"What time is the concert?" I ask him.

"The first set starts at seven thirty."

"How many sets are there?" he shrugs.

"Three, four maybe."

"How long are you going to be?"

"I have no clue."

"What are you doing just an interview?"

"Yeah I guess." I nod and take a sip of my coffee. He comes over to me and gives me one last kiss.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you too, Babe."

"Be good. I'll be home as soon as I can." I watch as he walks out of the back door, and listen as he starts his car and backs it out of the garage. I look down at Simba and Mabel and sigh.

"Happy birthday to me, eh?" They just wag their tails and pant with their tongues hanging out of their mouths.

I go into Jack's room where all of my drawing things are, and sit down at the desk where I used to do all of my art. Since Jack moved in I haven't done a lot in here, but we've kept it pretty much the same. Jack said that he liked all of my drawings that were up on the wall so he left them there.

I take out some paper and sharpen a pencil and start sketching some classic black and white roses. About a half hour into my drawing, the door bell rings. I get up and follow the dogs to the door and when I open it I see Jack standing there, with a huge bouquet of white roses in his hands.

"Delivery for the birthday girl," he says. I take the flowers from him and look at the card.

For my black butterfly. Happy Birthday. - Adam I smile and move back so that Jack can come back inside.

"They're from Adam," I tell him, taking them into the kitchen to put them in some water.

"I know. Who do you think went and picked them up this morning?" I look at him and realize that he never had time to go all the way to the school, sit through a class, and come back home.

"You went and got the flowers?"

"All thirty six perfect white roses."

"They're my favorite."

"That's what he said." I cut the paper from around the stems and put them in a vase, then fill it up with water. When I'm done I set the vase out on the counter.

"So now what?" he asks.

"I don't know. I was drawing," I say, leading the way back into his bedroom. I sit down at the desk and he looks over my shoulder at the rose drawing.

"Sweet." he goes over and lays on his bed, picking up the guitar that I bought him for Christmas and playing it quietly while I go back to drawing.

"Have you talked to Nikki lately?" I ask him, selecting a new pencil.

"She sent me a text lastnight, but I didn't respond to it." I lean over my drawing, and start sketching in some random music notes around the roses.

"And?"

"She said that she went in to have the pregnancy test, and that the results would be coming in sometime today, I guess. And that she would let me know."

"And you haven't heard from her today I take it?"

"My phone is shut off." I nod and keep drawing, and he keeps playing, singing some random parts to a bunch of random songs. We go like this for a couple hours until Adam comes back home, then we all hang out in the living room.

I lay on the couch and Adam sits on the floor in front of me, sitting with his back against the couch. I drape my arms around his shoulders as he and Jack watch TV. The next thing I know, I'm waking up. Adam is still sitting on the floor in front of me, and I can see Jack sitting at the opposite end of the couch. I look at the TV and see a commercial for Gerber baby food is on. I tighten my grasp on Adam's shoulder and whine a little so he knows I'm awake. He looks over his shoulder at me and grins.

"You know, I could satisfy these maternal urges that you're having," he says.

"Getting me pregnant?" I ask sleepily, rolling onto my back.

"I was gonna say a trip to the animal shelter, but if pregnant is what you want." I hear Jack snicker from near my feet and I playfully kick him in the side of the head, making him laugh more.

"What time is it?" I ask them.

"Time for you to start getting ready to go to Chicago," Adam says.

"Chi-town," Jack shouts, making Adam laugh a little.

"Alright, here I go," I get up from the couch and stretch my arms above my head. I feel Adam rubbing my leg while I stretch, which is feeling way too good so I move on into the bedroom to shower and get ready.

When I get out of the shower, I do my hair big and crazy, then I do my make up. I dress in jeans and a gray sweater that has two cut-outs in the sides near the ribs. I slip into my favorite shoes. I put on my two necklaces, one that I wear everyday with Adam's first initial on it, and the second that I just got when we got off of the tour that has Jack's on it. One is silver and one is gold, so they match pretty good. I also put on a ring and large hoop earrings. I grab my purse and head back out to the living room to where the boys are.

"I'm ready," I say to Adam. Both he and Jack give me a once over and I spin around to give them the full view.

"Well?" I ask.

"Gorgeous, as usual," Adam says. Jack just turns his head back towards the TV. Adam stands up and goes to the coat closet, taking out my black trench coat. He puts it on for me, then gets out his leather jacket and puts it on, leaving it open.

"What time are you guys coming home, do you think?" Jack asks, coming into the foyer where we are.

"I don't know. Probably not too late."

"Are you leaving soon?" I ask him.

"Mike said he'd be here at eight, so I'll be here for a little while." We say our goodbyes to him and he shuts the door behind us. We get into Adam's new car and he drives us on the hour long ride to Chicago.

When we get to the Star Lounge, Adam parks his car in a parking lot behind the building, and we walk about a block around to wait in the short line that has formed outside the front of the building. Adam throws his arm around me while we wait and I look inside the windows.

"Babe," I say to him.

"Hmm?"

"There aren't that many tables. Where are we going to sit?"

"I called ahead and had them put our name on a table so we won't have to stand." I nod, and he looks down at me. I give him a kiss.

"You're the best husband ever."

"You're the best wife ever. I don't know how I convinced you to love me."

"It didn't take much convincing, my love." We move forward in the line and a guy standing by the door takes our tickets and marks our hands, then we go in and sit at a table near front of the "stage," on the right side.

A waitress comes over and I order a glass of red wine, and Adam orders an espresso. We also order some cheese bread and marinara to eat since this place doesn't serve full meals.

At exactly seven thirty, Citizen Cope comes out and starts his first set. Adam and I nod along and sing with the music. When the set ends an hour later, I've had two and half glasses of wine and am feeling a slight buzz, but after I eat some more of the bread and sauce I feel a little better.

We find out that there are three sets, but we decide to leave after the second one ends at ten thirty. Walking in the cold air sobers me up a little more, but sitting in the warm car on the drive home is making me sleepy and leaves me feeling blissfully drunk.

"What a good birthday," I say wistfully, leaning back in my seat, turning my body towards Adam a little.

"I'm glad you had a good day. I'm sorry I had to leave you this morning, though."

"You can make up for it tonight." He looks over at me and I give him my best seductive smile. He reaches across the car and takes my hand in his and we ride like that the rest of the way home.

As soon as we pull into the driveway, I notice that something doesn't feel right. Everything looks normal. My car and Jack's car are both parked where they belong in the driveway. The light next to the garage door is on, and the porch light is on. I can hear loud music playing in the house though, which isn't too weird.

"Jack's getting down," Adam remarks as we walk inside.

As soon as we enter the house I notice that our bedroom door is shut and the dogs are nowhere in sight. I take my jacket off while Adam goes to the stereo to turn the volume down a little. While he's messing around with that, I march straight over to Jack's bedroom door, which is closed. Without knocking, I barge right in. When I do, my heart drops and I feel my face turn red.

On the bed is Jack's ex-girlfriend, Kari-Ann, with her skirt pulled up around her waist and her panties around her ankles. Standing between her legs is Jack. Kari-Ann screams when she notices me standing there, and Jack looks over his shoulder at me.

"Jesus Christ Sophie! Get the fuck out of here!" he screams at me, attempting to push me out of the room with one hand. Both him and her scramble to fix their clothing. I feel Adam come up behind me, but I don't even care. I'm so pissed right now I could kill someone.

"Jack, you have about thirty five seconds to get this fucking slut, out of my house," I threaten, my voice low.

"You can't tell me what the fuck to do! You're not my mother!"

"I can tell you to get her the fuck out of this house, Jack! It's my fucking house, and she isn't allowed anywhere near it. Now get her the fuck out!"

"Babe, come on lets calm down a little here," Adam says to me calmly. I flash him a death glare and back out of Jack's room as calm as I can. Jack comes stalking out a second later.

"Are you out of your rabid ass mind? What the fuck is wrong with you?" I shout at him.

"I'm an adult I can do whatever the fuck I want."

"Yes you can, just not with that fucking crack whore!"

"Hey! Watch your mouth or I'll fuck you up," Kari-Ann yells at me from where she is now standing behind Jack.

"Oh, you're a hero. Why don't you shut the fuck up and get the hell out of my house before I drag you out myself," I say to her.

"Is that a threat?"

"No, that's a fucking promise. Something you wouldn't know two shits about." She lunges at me then, and Jack grabs at her to keep her away from me. Adam is holding me back as well and I'm just laughing at her.

"See what a fucking prize you've got here, Jack?" I yell as he pushes her towards the front door. I hear the door slam and a second later he comes back in, and I can tell that he's pissed. But you know what, so am I.

"So how much did you have to pay her to get her to spread her legs for you? I'm sure it wasn't too much for that fucking coke slut. She'll do anybody for anything, I thought you learned that already?" I snap at him.

"Shut the fuck up already. You don't know anything."

"I know that she's a fucking slut and a user, Jack. Here's a question for you. Did you check her arms for track marks before you fucked her? Or how about this, did you ask her what kind of drugs she had in that fucking ugly gold purse before you allowed her to come in our home?"

"I don't give a fuck. I wasn't fucking her for drugs, so I didn't care."

"Did you care if she gave you a fucking disease, Jack? Hell, she's spread her legs for every dealer in this fucking state, she's probably got lots of diseases."

"Fuck you. I hate you."

"Whatever Jack, hate me but hear this. When your dick falls off and no one wants you, don't come fucking crying to me!" He stomps into his bedroom and slams the door shut. I throw my arms in the air and stomp over to where Adam is now sitting on the couch. I slam my body down on the couch and lay my head in his lap.

"That went well," he says.

"Our kid hates me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"Didn't you hear him? He said that he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Babe." Right at that moment, Jack comes stomping back out of his room and into the living room.

"And another thing, you can't tell me what the fuck I can do. I'm an adult." I put a hand on my forehead and sigh.

"Jack, I don't know how to explain this to you. I understand that you're an adult and that you can make your own decisions, and I will always support you in your decisions. But not this one. I will never be OK with you being around that girl. In case you forgot, I've seen this girl rip your heart out more than once. Adam and I have been the ones to pick up the pieces everytime she screws you over. So no, I will not support that. She is not allowed in this house, and the level of disrespect that you showed me by having her here, blows my mind." He's just staring at me now. Adam has his hand on my stomach and is watching me while I speak.

"You and Adam are drug addicts, Jack. You always will be. We've all understood that for a while now, and we've been dealing with it. That girl, is an addict and for whatever reason she hasn't made the decision to get herself some help. I understand that it's harder for some people, but I don't believe that she wants help. I'm sorry, but I don't. I also believe that whether she's on drugs or not, she will always be a manipulative slut. She will always fuck with your head, and other men's heads until she gets whatever it is that she wants. That is why she is not allowed in my house. I will not allow a drug addict into my home where you two live, it's not going to happen. I hope you can understand why."

"You don't know what I went through tonight."

"And unless you tell me, I won't ever know, Jack." He shakes his head then and stomps back into his room, shutting the door.

"Ugh, this night went from so good to so bad," I say to Adam.

"How can I make it better for you, Babe?"

"Take me into the bedroom, and clear my mind... all night long."