When Everything Gets Crazy, I Get Lost In You.

I wake up when I feel Adam squeeze my leg. When I open my eyes, Austin is walking down the hall towards us, still wearing the scrubs and gown that they made him wear in the delivery room.

I try to read his face, but I'm so tired I can't read him. Adam and I have been up for twenty-four hours now.

Austin's parents stand up and rush over to him.

"Austin, how did it go? How are the babies?"

"How is Jackie?" Jackie's mother asks. Adam and I get up and hang towards the back of the group. Austin sighs.

"Karma Faith is four and a half pounds, twenty inches long. And Adam Christopher is four pounds thirty-six pounds, twenty-one inches long. They went into NICU as soon as they came out, so we didn't get to hold them or anything. We probably won't for a while."

"But everything went okay? No complications?"

"As far as the birth, no. They didn't cry or anything when they came out. The doctor said it's because their lungs aren't fully developed yet. They'll have to stay in the incubator's until they can breathe and eat properly." I can tell he's exhausted.

"What about Jackie, Austin?" I ask gently.

"She's fine. Really tired, but she made it through the delivery fine. She's in recovery right now, then she'll be moved back to a regular room."

"Any ideas on how long they'll be in NICU?" his dad asks. He shrugs.

"I don't know. Could be weeks. I'm gonna go up there now and see them, and talk to the doctors. But I wanted to let you guys know what was going on first."

"We should go call the family," his mother says to Jackie's mother. She nods and they both run off down the hall.

"I'll go up there with you, son," his dad says, patting him on the shoulder.

"Thanks dad." He looks at us then, and I go over and give him a tight hug.

"I'm gonna need a smoke when I come back, so you two stick around," he says quietly into my ear. I nod and he let's go of me.

"Will you guys stay with Jackie if they bring her up before I get back?" he asks Adam and I.

"Yeah, of course." He nods then he and his father walk down the hall towards an elevator. Adam and I sit back down in the chairs we were in before.

"Thank God," I say to him once we're alone.

"Yeah."

We sit there for a little while until the nurses bring Jackie back to her room. Then we go inside and sit with her while we wait for Austin to come back. She's really tired, but she says that she's going to wait to hear from Austin before she sleeps.

Austin comes back a little while later and gives Jackie two Polaroids that the nurses took of the babies, and tells her the very little information that he knows. She falls asleep with the pictures still in her hands, and the three of us leave her alone and head back downstairs to smoke. Austin is back in his regular clothes now.

"Is there anything you need us to do, Austin?" I ask him when we get outside. He lights his cigarette before answering.

"Just, call the guys and let them know since I'm sure my mom forgot to. And check on Austin." I nod.

"We can do that." He takes a long drag from his cigarette.

"They're so small, you guys. Like, half Austin's size when he was born."

"No shit," Adam says on an exhale.

"And I can't hold them, or touch them yet because they might get sick. I mean, do you know how that feels? As a parent to be told that you can't touch your own kid because it might really hurt them."

"It sucks, man."

"Fuck yeah it sucks. How is Jackie going to handle that? When we had Austin he was with us almost constantly, and now, she hasn't even seen these two in person for more than a second." His eyes are glassy, and I can tell that if her were by himself right now, he would probably be in really bad shape.

"It'll be okay, Austin," I say. "The babies will be fine, and that will be what keeps you and Jackie going. Just knowing that they're going to be okay."

"They have to be, Soph. I don't know what I'll do." I drop my cigarette on the ground and walk over and hug him.

"Shh," I shush into his ear while he hugs me back.

The sun is up now, shining bright over all the cars in the hospital parking lot. Austin and Adam both put out their cigarettes, and Austin heads back up to be with Jackie.

I get my cell phone out of my purse and call Cody to check on Little Austin, and to give him the update on the twins. Then I call the rest of the guys, and text Jack. When I hang up after making all of the calls, I see Adam yawn.

"You should go home and get a few hours of sleep, babe," I tell him.

"I'm good. We're both tired."

"No. I got a little sleep while they were in delivery."

"I don't want to strand you here if I take the car."

"I don't need to go anywhere. If I do, I'll just wait for you to come back with the car." He yawns again and I laugh at him.

"Babe, go. I'll be fine here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I put my hand on the back of his neck and pull his head down for a kiss.

"Alright. Call me if you need me," he says.

"I will. Sleep well." He kisses me again, then turns and walks off toward where our car is parked.

I go back inside and go to the cafeteria for some coffee, then go back up to Jackie's room

She sleeps for a few hours, and when she wakes up I can tell she's worrying about the babies. An idea pops into my head then.

"So the place across the street has amazing smoothies. Who wants one?" I say. Everyone gives me their smoothie order, and I write them all down on a napkin.

"Austin, do you have your car keys?" he reaches into his pocket and pulls them out, tossing them to me.

"I'm parked in the east side lot," he tells me.

"OK. Anything else anybody needs while I'm out?"

"My babies?" Jackie asks hopefully. I give her a smile and a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll be back." I turn and walk quickly out of the room

I quickly locate Austin's car in the east side parking lot, and navigate my way off of hospital property. Driving past the smoothie place, I work my way back toward the other side of town.

I reach Austin and Jackie's apartment building a few minutes later, and pull Austin's SUV into it's regular spot, then head into the building.

I use his house key to get in, and find Cody and Danielle inside with Little Austin.

"Hello," I call in to them. They both look up at me, then get up from the couch where they were sitting.

"What are you doing here?" Danielle asks.

"I came to relieve you guys of baby sitting for a while."

"You don't have to do that."

"It's fine. I was going to take him to the hospital so he could see his parents. Jackie's a little down about not being able to see the twins, so I thought it might cheer her up."

"That's a great idea," she says. Cody leans down and picks up Little Austin, who was clinging to his leg.

"You wanna go see mama and papa?" he asks him. Austin rattles of some unrecognizable baby gibberish and waves his arms around.

"I'll take that as a yes," Cody says, handing him off to me.

"You have his car seat, I'm assuming?" Danielle asks.

"Yeah, I brought Austin's car."

"Mama, papa," Little Austin says. I smile at him.

"Yeah, we're going to see mama and papa."

"Those are his only two words," Danielle says.

"They're good words to know."

"Mama, papa." I laugh at him and take his diaper bag from Cody. I tell them to take off since I'll probably either take him home with me, or have Austin's parent's take him with them.

I take him down and load him into the car, being careful not to bonk his head with the seat belt buckle like the last time. Then, I drive him back toward the hospital, going through the drive through at the smoothie place on my way.

"Alright Austin, we're here," I say, putting the car in park and getting out.

I carefully balance all of the smoothies and the infant as I walk across the parking lot. Once inside, I put Little Austin down and he walks slowly with me. It's hard for me to believe that he's almost a year old, and that it's almost been a year since Adam's dad died. I shake my head to free it of the thought, and carefully navigate Austin to Jackie's room.

I push the door open and let him walk in first.

"We're here," I say. They all look up with shock when they see Austin.

"My baby!" Jackie shouts, holding her arms out to him. "Come here, my love." Austin scoops him up and puts him in her arms as I pass out the smoothies.

"Thank you, Sophie," Austin tells me. I wink at him and give him his drink.

Jackie is hugging and kissing Little Austin, letting him drink out of her straw.

"You have a new little brother and sister, baby. What do you think about that?" she asks him. He goes on with the baby gibberish again, making her laugh.

"Their names are Karma and Adam. Just like Uncle Adam, but smaller." I laugh at that and take a sip from my mango smoothie.

"Thank you so much for bringing him." I wink at her and give her a little smile.

"I thought you could use some cheering up from your big man."

"He is getting big, isn't he?" I nod.

"I can take him home with me if you want, or you guys can take him," I say, motioning toward Austin's parent's.

"Absolutely.

We all hang out for a while until Jackie starts to get tired again, and it's time for Austin's nap. I help Austin's parent's put the car seat in their car, and send them off. Then I go back and have another cigarette with Austin.

"You should go home and get some sleep."

"I can't. Adam took the car. I'm stranded."

"Take mine."

"What if you guys need to go out and get something?"

"We'll send Jackie's mom to get it." I think for a few seconds.

"Okay, I'll go. Is there anything you want me to bring back?"

"No, just go. We'll need you rested up and ready to help us eventually." I smile and he gives me a one armed hug.

"Call me if you think of anything you want me to bring back."

"I will." I take his keys back from him, and head off in the direction of where I parked his car.

I drive back to my house, where I find both Adam and Jack's cars parked in the driveway. I park behind Jack, and get out.

I go in the back door, so I don't wake Adam up. When I come in, Jack is in the kitchen. He looks at me when I come in.

"What are you doing here?" he asks me quietly.

"Austin sent me home to get some sleep." I lean down and pet the dogs, then walk around to the other side of the bar and lean on it to talk to him.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"I made brownies," he says, pointing at the pan cooling on the counter in front of him.

"That's surprisingly domestic of you, Martha."

"I think I ate the jar of frosting though." I fake a gasp.

"Jar of frosting. What next? You're going to tell me those are from a box?"

"I think I ate the frosting."

"I think you did too." He opens the cupboard and looks inside for a while before finally coming out with a bottle of chocolate syrup and a bag of mini York peppermint patties.

"Chocolate syrup, kinky," I say to him. He pops open the bottle and squirts it all over the top of the brownies, then looks up at me.

"Nice."

He takes the wrappers off of about a dozen of the candies and chops them up with a knife, then sprinkles them over the brownies too.

"Want one?" he asks me.

"Duh." He grins and slices two of them, giving one to me. I take a large bite and my eyes roll skyward.

"Well?"

"I love you, kid."

"I love you too." We finish our brownies, then I go into the bedroom where Adam is still sleeping.

I crawl into bed next to him, waking him up when I do.

"Why didn't you call?" he asks me groggily, lifting his head slightly.

"I didn't want you to have to get up."

"How did you get here?"

"I borrowed Austin's car." He groans and lays his head back down on the pillow, closing his eyes. He puckers his lips up for a kiss, so I lean in and give him one.

"Your lips taste like chocolate."

"What?"

"Your lips. They reek of chocolate," he says, opening his eyes.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Jack made sin brownies and I ate one."

"Sin brownies?"

"They're amazing." he sighs.

"Gotta love our kid."

"Yeah."