Therapy

Stifling a yawn, Erin quickly typed up the notes she had made during her last appointment, before hitting the print button so that she could add them to her clients’ file. Zacky was due at the office at any minute to take her out to lunch, and she wanted to be finished up before he got there. She had almost considered cancelling on him. Brian hadn’t left hers until gone 2am, and she was just about managing to stay awake. Erin had also figured that it would save the possibility of her giving anything away when it came to her and Brian, because she knew full well Zacky wouldn’t be able to resist filling her in on all the new developments regarding Brian and Michelle.

However, it would be the last opportunity she would have to see Zacky before they took to the road the following week, and she would only have to endure him moaning about not being able to spend time with her before he left, especially as she would refuse to attend any send off that someone would no doubt organize for the guys before the week was out.

Gathering up the sheets of notes and observations from the printer, Erin placed them neatly into the file, before returning it to the correct drawer in the filing cabinet. She checked the time and took the black shrug that hung on the back of her chair, slipping it on.

“It’s in the high 70’s out there today, and only Benny would be wearing a sweater.”

Rolling her eyes, Erin flipped Zacky off as he appeared in the doorway, made sure she had everything in her purse, and walked over to him.

“Are you here to take me out to lunch or poke fun at me?” she asked, narrowing her eyes in spite of the smile that threatened to break free at any moment.

“Most definitely the first, and you know there will always be a little of the second, I’m your best friend, it’s my job,” Zacky informed her, winking.

“Really now? Well, carry on and you may well find yourself demoted from best friend to lowly minion, Baker,” retorted Erin, allowing Zacky to hug her.

“You’d miss me too much,” he murmured.

“Unfortunately, you’re probably correct in your assumption,” admitted Erin.

Over the years, Erin had remained so close to the guys, with Zack and Jimmy being the ones she rarely went a day without speaking to. The bond between her and Zack had only deepened further after Jimmy had passed, both of them feeling the need to fill the gaping hole he had left in both of their lives.

Zack was the one Erin spoke to about everything that went on with her, all except the last three months, and what was now transpiring between herself and Brian. It had caused a cloud of guilt to hang over Erin of late. She didn’t like that she was hiding stuff from him, but she just couldn’t even contemplate mentioning it yet. Not until both she and Brian felt the time was right.

“C’mon, let’s go eat,” Zacky stated, kissing her forehead before letting Erin to pull out of the embrace.

Once outside, Erin locked up the office, having let Jude take the rest of the day off once her last clients had left. Tuesday was a day for few appointments, and Erin decided that today they should both take advantage of that and have the afternoon to both do as they pleased. Settling herself in Zacky’s car, she failed dismally to hide yet another yawn she had been trying to suppress.

“Are you not sleeping again?” Zacky asked, voice full of concern.

“I just had a late night is all,” Erin assured him, knowing that his immediate thought would be that the insomnia that plagued her whenever she was troubled or upset had returned.

“I just got caught up with work stuff, really,” she stressed, attempting to ease Zack’s mind. “I haven’t been hit with insomnia since… well, since Jimmy,” she added softly.

“That’s a fucking lie!” Zacky exclaimed. “You weren’t sleeping well about three months ago,” he reminded her.

Erin blushed a little as the memory of how stressed she had been when Brian and Michelle had first shown up at the office for counselling came flooding back, and the sleepless nights it had in turn caused for the first couple of weeks.

“Okay, I stand corrected,” she admitted sheepishly. “But that was nothing, it’s over, and I’m sleeping just fine now.”

Her tone alerted Zacky that this particular conversation was over. He sighed, knowing better than to continue to pursue it any further.

They made small talk regarding the tour whilst Zacky drove them to the Italian restaurant they always visited on their lunch dates. Erin loved to see him so animated and excited about going back on the road, something she wasn’t sure she would witness amongst any of the guys again. It wasn’t long before they were parked up and heading into La Strada and being shown to their table.

“So, any interesting clients lately?” Zacky questioned as they sat perusing over the menu.

Taking a sip of her mineral water, Erin eyed him across the table.

“You never ask me about work, because you know I won’t tell you,” she pointed out. “Why the sudden interest?”

Zacky shrugged.

“Just wondering. Did I mention that Brian and Michelle had been seeing a marriage counsellor?”

Erin placed her glass carefully on the table, welcoming the interruption of the waitress, ready to take their order. It gave her a moment to collect herself and hopefully not give anything away.

“No you didn’t,” she answered calmly after ordering her Caprese sandwich.

“Yeah, right here in Long Beach too apparently,” Zack told her, a smirk twitching at the corner of his plump lips.

The way he looked at her triggered something in Erin’s mind, making her wonder if Zacky knew something, or whether he was trying to figure out if it had been her.

“Well, this is California, divorce lawyers and marriage guidance are like Starbucks round here, there’s one of us on every corner,” Erin joked lightly, praying Zacky didn’t try to dig further.

“I guess,” Zacky mused, his green eyes still locked firmly with Erin’s.

Erin sighed, wondering just where this line of conversation was going to take them. She had grown accustomed to being constantly updated with every little detail of Brian’s life over the years, which had always made ever trying to put her feelings on the back burner a little difficult. There was something about Zacky’s manner that told her that today wasn’t going to be any different. There was just one slight difference, she was already clued up, and that made her a little nervous, knowing that one small lapse in concentration on her behalf and everything would be out in the open.

“So, is Gena going with you next week?” Erin asked, believing that a change in subject would be the appropriate route to take.

“For about a week, then she has to get back to the salon,” Zacky answered, laughing. “Rin, that was the lamest way to avoid talking about Gates,” he added.

“Zack….”

“You don’t usually have a problem when I mention him,” he continued.

“Maybe for once I’d actually like our time together to be Brian free, especially as this is going to be the last time I see you for lord knows how long,” explained Erin, desperate to steer away from the topic.

“You’ll see me in three weeks when we’re playing the shows near home,” Zacky countered.

“Not to talk to, you’ll be on stage, and you know I won’t come backstage afterwards, no matter how many passes you keep throwing at me,” Erin argued, frustration lacing her tone.

“Okay, so come to Matt’s parents on Saturday when we all get together,” Zacky suggested.

The debate ceased as their lunch was placed in front of them, Erin waiting for them to be alone before she allowed it to continue.

“No Zack, we go through this every time. It’s just better that I stay away.”

Placing his fork on the side of his plate, Zacky sighed deeply. It was true, they did go over this time and again, but today was different. Today Zacky wanted to tell her that this wanting to keep her distance from Brian had to stop.

“Rin, we all completely understood why you and Brian ended things, it made sense at the time. We even understood why you both felt it best to not see or speak to one another, because it was obvious you just would have gotten back together. But it’s been ten years sweetheart, surely now all of that can be forgotten.”

“But Zack….”

“I don’t wanna hear any excuses about how hard it would be because you still love him, and how he’s married and shit, because that’s kinda irrelevant.”

“I’m sorry? How can that be irrelevant?” Erin probed, trying to keep up the act of being none the wiser.

“Brian and Michelle have split up. According to Michelle, this counsellor told her she needed to force Brian to speak about the past to try and resolve some issues, and instead it opened up a whole can of fucking worms and she left him.”

Erin pursed her lips a little, knowing that Michelle’s version of the conversation she had had with her was a little misleading, but it was a point she couldn’t raise.

“Oh,” was all she could think to say in response. Erin knew she should probably ask how Brian was doing, but it would be just another part of the pretence she was keeping up. It was better to just leave it how it was.

“Just think about Rin,” Zacky suggested gently.

Erin could do no more than nod in reply. She was going to have to talk about all of this with Brian when she saw him later, as it was dawning on her that keeping their reconciliation from everyone wasn’t going to be as simple as they had led themselves to believe. She pushed her sandwich to one side, her appetite having dissolved somewhat, even though she had barely touched it. The sound of a phone ringing brought her from her thoughts.

“It’s Matt, I’d better take this,” Zack groaned, taking his cell from his pocket and heading out to the street.

”Zack, you still with Rin?” Matt asked before Zacky had even had chance to say hello.

“Yeah, why?”

”That’s probably the best place for you to be right now. Val’s been doing some digging, she knows what we did…and she’s pissed!”