For You I'd Tear Out My Own Heart

Three Years Later…

Breath by breath came to me, heavier than the last. I was in full panic mode. I was so afraid that something would go wrong, that I couldn’t focus on the wonderful job Amanda did with my make-up. Nina, Amanda, and Kara were all in the room with me, helping me get ready.

I could imagine Rian, Jack, and Zack were all in with Alex right now. Oh, Alex. Today was the day we were going to get married. He asked me two years ago, and I instantly accepted. I felt great right now, on top of the world. The only thing bothering me was the stress.

“Zoe, will you relax,” Kara pushed. “I promise that this isn’t that hard. I did it two years ago and it went completely fine, don’t you remember?”

I smiled and sighed. “I know you’re right. I’m just afraid something will go wrong at the reception or the wedding.”

“Oh, Zoe,” Amanda put her hands on my shoulders. “You look beautiful, I’m positive that Alex looks handsome. Al l the guests are here; and all the bridesmaids and groomsmen are here too. Everything is running smoothly.”

“So, when do we start?” I asked from my seat in the chair.

“The wedding is about to begin. Your cousin, Layla, is going to go down first with her brother, Nathan. Then Alex’s cousins, Talia and Dominic, are going to go. Next are Jack and I; then Nina and Rian. And finally Kara and Zack will walk down.” Amanda explained.

“Wait, why isn’t Kara and Rian walking together. And why not Zack and Nina?” I questioned.

“Remember, I’m your maid of honor,” Kara told me. “Zack is the best man, so that’s why we’re walking together. It’s not a big deal honestly.”

“Okay, now I remember,” I contemplated.

“Alright, your cousins are walking out now,” Amanda told me. “We all better get ready because Alex is already at his place.”

Kara, Nina, and Amanda helped me walk in the annoying high heels to the big church doors. I stood a little to the side so no one would see me or my dress. Couple by couple went in as I stood and waited patiently.

Before Zack went in, he went over to me and kissed me on the cheek. “You look beautiful; you’re going to do just fine.”

“Thanks,” I hugged him tightly. It was going to be weird to no longer live with Zack in California. I will be living in Lutherville with Alex, Rian, and Kara in their house. Now that I’ll be moving out of Zack’s house, Nina will start living there.

Zack smiled once more as he went in; which meant it was my cue. My dad took my hand and smiled widely at me; admiringly. “You look absolutely stunning, Zoe.”

“Thank you, Dad,” I smiled at him before the doors opened once again, and we began to walk down the aisle.

Admiring family members and friends of Alex and I stood accordingly to their seats; watching me in my white dress. I blew a kiss to my mother; who was sitting in the front row where my father would be the moment he let me go to Alex.

I looked up to see Alex smiling widely at me. He cut his hair a bit shorter for the occasion; in an effort to look a bit more professional and not so much a rocker. I smiled at him just as wide; I couldn’t believe that we were finally getting married. And I couldn’t be happier
because of it.

My dad let me go with a soft smile, and Alex helped me up the few steps it took to be level with him. He took my hands and squeezed them in reassurance. He could tell that I was nervous, and I could see that he was a bit nervous as well; though he was trying to hide it.

The Priest began to say the words it took to be married. I wasn’t paying too much attention though, because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. It was a miracle that the two of us ever got back together. I mean it took me three fucking years. Thank goodness I finally got a clue.

“Now, do you, Alexander William Gaskarth, take Zoe Nicole Merrick as your wife?” the man asked Alex.

He smiled at me before saying. “I do.”

The man nodded before then turning to me. “And do you, Zoe Nicole Merrick, take Alexander William Gaskarth as your husband?”

“I do,” I gave Alex a smile.

“I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Gaskarth,” the crowd cheered as he said those words. “You may now kiss the bride.”

And with that, Alex took me by the waist and kissed me gently. The room cheered and clapped as we held hands and walked swiftly out of the church with smiles on our faces. This is what I lived for; being with him.

**********

“Who’s ready to catch the flowers?!” I screamed from the balcony in the reception hall. Alex was right beside me, and I was about to throw the bouquet to some lucky girl standing below me.

I threw them behind me and quickly turned around to see who caught them; it was Nina. It made me smile that my brother might be the one to actually get married next. Alex then led me downstairs, where a slow dance was going on.

He took me by the waist and we started swaying back and forth. “Zoe, I love you.”

I smiled and buried my head into his chest. “I love you, too.”

Not many words were spoken after that because we wanted to savor the moment I guess. Soon enough we’d be in the Bahamas; where we could talk to no end. Well, I don’t think that’s the only thing we’ll be doing, if you know what I mean.

A light tap on Alex’s shoulder made me jump slightly in surprise. When I looked up to see it was Zack; I immediately calmed down. He then spoke. “Do you mind if I take her away from you for a moment?”

Alex nodded. “Not at all.”

Zack soon began to sway me back and forth as well. He sighed. “Gosh, I can’t believe you’re married, Zoe. I always thought I’d get married first because I’m older.”

I chuckled. “Not by much, kid. But that’s okay; you got to be happy with Nina longer.”

“I suppose that’s true,” he smiled at the thought of her. “But no matter how happy I’ll be with Nina at the house; I’m going to miss you.”

“Aw,” I cooed. “I’ll miss you too of course. But I don’t think that brothers and sisters are meant to be together for their whole lives.”

“That is true,” he admitted. “But we still have to visit each other a lot.”

“And call once a day when we’re not together,” I said as the song ended. We pulled apart and nodded.

A faster; more upbeat song came on; and every girl rushed to the dance floor. I kicked off my heals the second I realized it was Poker Face. Amanda, Nina, and Kara all rushed beside me as we began to sway together in unison.

As soon as she began to sing, the all of us joined in. I didn’t know the whole thing, but Amanda knew every word to it. We all laughed and continued dancing oncewe knew the lyrics again. Out of the corner of my eye I could see at our table that the four boys were looking at us with strange looks on their faces.

The crowd all calmed down once the DJ began to speak. “So, the groom would like to say a few words. So, let’s get him up here!”

Alex smiled and went up on the small stage we had in the room. I blushed slightly when he winked at me. The girls smirked at me; which meant they knew exactly what he was about to do – great.

“Alright everybody,” he said to calm down the crowd of people. “As many of you know, Zoe and I weren’t always on the same page with our feelings. So, I wrote this song specifically for her. It’s a song I like to call Running from Lions, and it goes a lot like this.”

Zack came out with his guitar and began to play the original version of it. The sound of his
gorgeous voice soon began to go through the microphone. “Get me out of this place before I cause more damage, a small price to pay for building houses out of match sticks, and when things get to hard, you’ve got me to blame for every fight that breaks out in every lover’s name. Don’t’ forget we’ve got unfinished business, stories yet to unfold tales that must be retold, and I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness, keeps me wanting, keeps me wanting more.”

Verse by verse was sung as tears began to rise in my eyes. I remember the very day in the hospital when he told me this song was about me and no one else. I looked at him longingly as the crowd looked at me with a small smile.

Soon enough; unfortunately; the song was coming to an end. “Don’t forget we’ve got unfinished business, stories left to unfold, tales that must be retold, and I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness, keeps me wanting, keeps me wanting, keeps me wanting, keeps me wanting more.”

“I love you,” those were the last words he spoke before getting off stage and kissing me. The crowd was clapping wildly from his performance and the fact that he was the sweetest man to walk this earth.

I knew that Alex and I went through a lot in the last nine years, but I knew this was right. I knew that where I was, it was exactly where I needed to be. I smiled and kissed him once more as I continued to think. I never thought it would happen again, but it did. And I was proud of the fact that I was no longer Zoe Nicole Merrick; but now Zoe Nicole Gaskarth.