Nothing Lasts Forever

Standing there, it felt as if I were floating. The room was fuzzy around the edges, but clear right in the middle. It seemed like I was looking around the unfamiliar apartment with a set of binoculars.

“Who are you?” A voice called, frightened. I could tell it was coming from the couch as I stood in the kitchen.

I turned around on my heels while flashing a smile at Ashlyn. “You don’t remember me? Even after thatamazing night we shared together?”

Her pale lips parted ever so slightly, and her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember what exactly had gone on last night. “You mean…. You and I… uhh.. you know?”

I chuckled, and shook my head. “Nope. Unfortunately, you decided to throw up and pass out. I can see how that’s just so much more fun.” Note the sarcasm? Good.

The brunette sent me a small glare, but stood up from the couch. “So we didn’t… you know… uhh… do it?”

“No,” I stated after another long moment before turning around once more and facing the stove. I was planning on cooking us up a couple of eggs. A luxury breakfast, if I may say so myself. Oh and to top it off, pop tarts. I smacked my lips together, my mouth was already beginning to water. “Before I run off, how about I make you breakfast? Perhaps a pot of coffee to help with that hangover, as well?”

“Thanks, I’d like that.” Her voice almost seemed strained as I heard her feet softly shuffling across the carpeted floor.

~
I woke up then, my head and heart both pounding; for two separate reasons.

Every single night since meeting up with Ashlyn on Sunday, I found myself drinking all the time. I was drunk to no end, trying to drain all memory of Ashlyn from my memory bank. However, that was hard to do when every dream you had at night involved of that very person in some way, shape or form.

A loud groan escaped my lips as I began to think about her once more. My heart was beating a little faster now, my palms sweaty and my stomach felt a little upset. What was it the girls called it when they liked some guy? Oh right, it felt like butterflies were fluttering around in my rib cage.

It made no sense to me. I had the girl once, and she had this huge impact on me. A frown creased its way onto my lips as I sat up. Shaking my head slowly I stood, making up my mind. I had to go see her. I didn’t give a damn how early it was in the morning.

After slipping on a random pair of converse, and then grabbing a black hoodie, I was outside of my apartment building walking in the pouring rain.

~

I was soaked to the bone by the time I got to her apartment complex. I stood in front of it for a long moment and hugged my chest. The wind wasn’t helping much with this on pour of rain. With a small shiver, I took in a deep breath and then stepped underneath the awning. I jingled the handle for a moment, trying to open the door.

Fuck.

I needed a key to get into the damn apartment building.

“ASHLYN!” I yelled out at the top of my lungs, hoping that with some miracle she’d hear me from her apartment and come running outside to find me. I tried again. “ASHYLN!”

The only thing that awarded me with a response, was the howling of the wind and the pitter patter of the rain against the rooftop of the buildings. My eyebrows furrowed, and anger seemed to build up in my chest. How could I have been so stupid; just letting the dancer slip out of my fingers the next morning? I could have asked her out on a date, or maybe just stayed and made sure that her headache from the hangover had actually disappeared.

But, no, I gave her space. Thinking that maybe it was a one-time thing, and since it happened the first time I met her, I figured I’d never be able to fuck her. Yet here I was thinking about her almost 24/7.

I’m not much of a religious person, but perhaps God has been giving me a sign. That Ashlyn and I were meant to be together.

That was it. I needed to get in there.

My hands formed into fists, and I started banging on the doors non-stop. It took three minutes for someone to finally respond to my obnoxious pounding. It was the elderly woman I had spoken to on Sunday that opened it. “What do you want at this ungodly hour?”

“I need to speak to Ashlyn, let me in!” I muttered with chattering teeth. I made my way towards the door and attempted to push pass the elderly woman but her look stopped me. With my new found impatience I snapped at her. “What?”

“She moved.” Her voice seemed pained as she told me those words. A look of sorrow washed over her features.

“W-what do you mean?” I demanded, shaking my head in disbelief.

“I mean just what I said.” Her voice cracked. “She moved… onto… a-a-a better place.”

“Bull shit!” I yelled, not buying it at all. “I was going to ask her out. I have this weird feeling in my gut that we were made for each other.” My words flew out of my mouth in a hurry as I tried to push past the elderly woman once more.

“You don’t seem to understand what I’m saying,” The woman sighed, and then looked up at me one last time. “S-she is no longer with us.”

I stood there, staring. My heart crashed down into the pit of my stomach. I shook my head once more. “No!”

My voice cracked, and a small tear cascaded down my cheek as I looked up the flight of stairs. Ashlyn couldn’t be dead… she … she just couldn’t be!

I hadn’t gotten her out of my mind for almost a week now. I had taken that as I sign to mean something. My journey just couldn’t end here. But before I could push pass the woman once more, she shut the door and bolted it.

Stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans I let out a small shaky breath.

I guess I’ll go home now.