Romeo, Romeo, Grow a Pair, Dear Romeo

I had only met her once.

It was the winter I was seventeen. She was shoveling a large amount of snow by herself and I couldn't help but notice when I sat in the living room of my aunt's house. I lived with her after my parents died when I was nine. My aunt and uncle were very nice to me and I was happy but it was different when I met the girl of my dreams. My aunt and uncle did all they could to keep me happy; signed me up for baseball and basketball. I tried football freshman year but wasn't a fan of it. I joined clubs that I liked, had a few girlfriends and handful of friends. I was happy with how my life was. They had gotten me to the RMV so I could get my permit and I was going for my license later on in the year.

My aunt was named Winifred and my Uncle named Franklin. We called them Winnie and Frank. They had a daughter who was two years older than me, being nineteen. My cousin and I were close but we usually kept to ourselves. She looked like my aunt. They both had beautiful blond hair and deep, condescending green eyes. Uncle Frank was a tall man, standing six foot one, easily being the second tallest in the house as opposed to me being five foot eleven. He had deep brown hair and casual, chilling blue eyes.

The girl across the street was the only person my age who came on my hill. That winter, her parents shoveled out her grandmother's car and she was shoveling out the driveway. She didn't wear a coat, just two gray sweaters, jeans, boots, a blue hat with strings hanging in her midnight black hair that hung loose around her shoulders, and a scarf that looked poorly made. She looked tired and would often stop to cough or wipe her nose with a tissue.

"Aunt Winnie," I said as I came away from the window. My aunt was making hot chocolate and my cousin was making cookies. "I'm going to help that girl who visits the Filipino lady all the time. She looks like she needs help." My aunt smiled, her pink lips stretching across her smooth skin. Her blond hair was tied up on her head and her green eyes sparkled.

"That's so sweet of you, Patrick." She said as she put her hands on her red Christmas sweater, supposedly over her heart. I scowled and walked to my room to grab my black coat, scarf and snow pants. I walked back downstairs and my cousin Louisa was putting on her boots. She pulled her blond hair under a winter's hat before slipping on her heavy coat and gloves.

"You're coming too?" I asked, making her look up at me.

"Yup. That's a lot of work for two people. Three is better than two." Louisa was the curt type. She had a very distinct way of looking at things and when she had her opinion, she had a good way to make other people think they were wrong. Even if they were right. Louisa had a very intimidating stare and when she looked at you with those big green eyes, you felt like you had done something wrong. I nodded a little without a word, and grabbed my boots before heading outside, Louisa not far behind.

"You could use some help." I said to the girl nervously, who did a double take on Louisa and me. I don't know what made me nervous. I had talked to strangers before. It wasn't like I was scared of them. And it certainly wasn't because she was a girl. I had talked to many of the girls at my school without knowing them. Thinking back now, I think it was because she looked so beautiful, her high cheeks and small nose a bright red and her black hair like a crow in the midst of doves. She had a strange beauty about her, a sense of maturity I didn't think a teenager could have. When she looked at us, she smiled a little, reached into her coat for a moment before pulling off her hat and headphones.

"Sorry?" she asked, her voice a sweet ring. It sounded a little uneven but that was only because the cold air was making it hard to breathe on this high hill.

"You want some help?" I asked, for some reason more nervous than before. She glanced back at the yard and front, as if someone were around who would be mad at her if she got help, before looking at the drive way. Her eyes were brown so dark it looked almost black against her tan skin.

"It'd be greatly appreciated." She said, almost apologetically. "You don't have to though. I don't want to impose."

"No," said my cousin in her usual curt nature, her placid face looking around at the snow. "We don't mind at all." The girl hesitated, staring at the ground for a moment, before nodding and smiling at me a little..

"Thank you," she murmured. She walked a few steps away to start on the snow and I got to work, noticing how diligent the girl was. She worked harder than Louisa and I put together and when we were done, she sighed and took off her hat again, smoothing out her deep black hair. "Thanks again," she said with a smile. Her eyes met mine and held them for a long time. I hadn't noticed girls' smiles before but I liked hers. It made me feel warm inside; it made me feel happy. I fought the embarrassed feeling that ran through my stomach after thinking that.

"Need anymore help?" Louisa asked, breaking our connection. The girl looked around again and, though there was plenty of snow to be shoveled, shook her head.

"I'm fine. Thanks for the help though." I stared at her for a moment, watching her face stay completely still. No sign of a lie. She needed help but she didn't want to bother us.

"Sure," we said together. She said her name and I remembered thinking it was such a nice name and it fit her warm face but I'd be lying if I told you I remembered it before that last day of my 17th summer.

"I'm Patrick and this is my cousin Louisa." She smiled and shook our hands politely. I remember noticing her cheeks were sprinkled with freckles. I really liked it.

"Nice to meet you." She said gently, as if at ease with just knowing our names. She looked back at her house, well her grandmother's house, before letting out a sigh. "I'm going to go inside, I suggest you do the same. It looks like it might start snowing again." I nodded dumbly and Louisa turned curtly. "Thank you so much again." She called out. I looked at her for a moment, staring into those big brown eyes before smiling a little.

"Don't worry about it." I said softly. Her brown eyes were like hot chocolate when I smiled at her. She smiled back, a wide one that showed most of her straight, white teeth and when she shook my hand again, I felt warmer. I felt like the happiness she felt was seeping into me, warming me in the winter's harsh winds. She turned away from me and I felt stuck where I was. I had met the girl I dreamed about; beautiful, hard working and I didn't know it at the time but she was funny too. I swallowed hard, somehow forgetting how to breathe, to think, to feel. I turned around and headed towards my house, closing the door as I entered.

The house was a large one, the front door opening up the house to a staircase that lead to the top floor where the bedrooms were. To the left of the door was the living room, full of warm colored furniture that was comfortable enough to make you want to sleep. It faced a large television that was rarely used by anyone. We all had our own televisions and so it didn't really get used. Passed the living room was the dining room that usually sat the four of us--my aunt, uncle, cousin and myself. Then through the right door of the dining room was the large kitchen that almost looked like the kitchen at Ray's house on Everybody Loves Raymond. The kitchen led you back to the main staircase and to the right of the staircase was my uncle's study. He was a professor during the school year at some college in Boston. I never found his work interesting.

I walked up to my room that was the last on the left. Clothes were scattered around the room but you could still see my floor. My bed wasn't made and my computer's screen saver was the only real light in the room. I sighed and closed my door, pulling off my large coat and heavy gloves. I looked down at my pink hands and thought back to the girl. She worked with her bare hands…I swallowed, feeling bad for her. I pulled off my boots and socks, replacing them with warm, dry ones before changing out of my snow pants and into pajama pants. I ran my hand through my wet, brown hair and slipped a warm t-shirt on--after stripping off the other one--and adding another sweater. I wondered if she had clothes to change into.

The wind howled outside my window and I walked over to it to see if it was snowing again. She was out there again, shoveling away at her grandmother's car that was higher in the driveway. We had cleaned out the end so she could drive out but the girl was cleaning around the car. She hadn't changed out of her clothes and she stopped more frequently to cough. She kept going though. She was out there for a half hour on her own, shoveling the car out. When she was done, she sighed, walked over to the stone wall that surrounded her grandmother's front yard, and sat down. She coughed violently and leaned forward to hold her head. She was sick and they were making her work.

She jerked upright when someone called her name. She turned around and waved her hand a little. For a moment, she stood before she gave in to whoever it was and placed the shovel against the wall. She walked around, coughing while she did and disappeared into the house. I didn't see her again that day, or even the next day. It was Christmas Eve when I saw her again and she looked….well, I really couldn't tell. She was wrapped in those same sweaters and I couldn't tell what she was wearing. I longed to see her again, something I didn't expect I'd do. I wanted to see her so bad it hurt. I didn't know why, I didn't understand what about the girl made me want to see her, to talk to her….

I wanted to see her smile at me again, as if that would do anything. I wanted to hear her voice, as if it would make me feel better. I wanted to warm her hands though they were probably already warm….What I longed most was the warmth I felt. When I didn't see her, I felt constantly cold. Not temperature cold but the cold you feel when you stand outside in the rain for a long time waiting for the bus or a cab to get somewhere you really wanted to go and when you get there, you find out it wasn't what you thought it would be. Like when she wasn't around, something was missing. I barely said anything to the girl, could hardly remember her name, but I never forgot that smile and the warmth I felt. I didn't get a chance during the rest of winter or during the spring to see her or talk to her again. It was that summer I saw her the most and I loved to see her walk by my house everyday.

It was the first week after school let out and she was playing with our dog, Leigh. Leigh got out often, mainly because Louisa never bothered to tie her up, but she'd always find her way home. The girl was being lead to our door by Leigh but was suddenly pulled away and handed a ball. I walked down from my room, swallowing as I did. It was her, at my house, playing with my dog. The knock on the door hit me like a load of bricks. The realization that the girl I had pined over for months on end was going to talk to me. I was going to finally feel the warmth again. Instead of me, however, my aunt answered the door.

"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed my aunt. I didn't hear what she said or even what the girl said. I just noticed her timid smile after my aunt complimented her and her warm smile as she looked down at the dog before she had to go. It was that smile that made me happier than ever.

"No, of course not. I just wanted to bring her home before she was missed."

"You're such a sweetheart!" My aunt said. The girl smiled at my aunt and stood, bidding fair well. I stared at where she stood and started forward. I moved through the door, standing with my aunt, watching as the girl entered the large brown house.

"Who was that?" I asked, looking down at the five foot three woman.

"A very nice young lady who brought Leigh home. She called her Buddy though. I would think that's a boy's name." I nodded a little and held out my hand.

"Can I take Leigh for a walk?"

"Of course Patrick." She said as she placed the leash in my hands and called over the dog. Only, she didn't come when called.

"Buddy," I said suddenly, the thought coming to my head. She jogged over, her eyes staring up at me, her tail wagging but when she blinked, she turned her head away and moved around me. She was looking for the girl. "I know I'm not her," I said as I placed the leash on her collar. "But you'll have to deal OK?" The dog barked at me and I sighed before starting towards the pumping station with Leigh.