Mielisairas Rakkaus - a Crazy Dudesons Love Story

“Shh!” Lynn laughed quietly as she, Bam, Jarno, and one of Bam’s camera crew followed her into HP’s room, which had recently become Nikki’s. “We’re gonna wake up the love birds.” Bam announced with a stupid girn to his camera. “Wake her up, and I’ll have Jukka kick you in the nards.” She spat sternly and opened the door. “Better yet, you two stay out here… she hates you anyway Bam.” She grinned and pulled Jarno into the room, quickly and quietly closing the door behind her so Bam couldn’t get in.

It took everything Jarno had not to giggle behind the camera when he saw Nikki and HP. Nikki was still asleep, holding his hand, and he had gone from the awkward position Bam and Jukka had taped before to cuddled up to her, with her head on his shoulder. “Do we move them before he wakes, or do we let them find themselves like that?” he asked quietly. “I don’t know! But sh-shit!” she gasped and ducked down behind the chair as HP stirred, waking Nikki.

“Jarno, what the f… HP!?”

HP woke as soon as his name was called, jumped, and fell out of the bed. Upon hearing the commotion, Bam and his crew burst through the door, hitting Lynn in the back of the head but giving her the escape before her friend noticed her in the room. “Nothing happened,” HP defended quickly from the floor. “Your pants are undone.” Bam smirked. “She did that last night but nothing happened!” he pushed. “What the hell?” Nikki demanded from the now twelve men in the room, since all of Bam’s crew had crowded in, as well as the other two Dudesons.

“We were going to tape you sleeping together, but then you woke up.” Jarno explained, “We know that nothing happened like that because Dunn explained everything to us.”

“What?”

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Dunn asked in mild concern. “I remember drinking and goofing off with you guys. I remember throwing one of your friends into the pool, you guys crashed into me at one point… did that knock me out?”

“No, you stayed up and kept drinking, then tried to fuck Dunn.” Dico explained with a laugh. Nikki looked up at them in confusion as Bam made some joke about her that got him punched in the arm by Jukka, and ordered out of the room by Ape.

“Guys, leave her alone… she had a rough night and is wicked hung over.” Lynn sighed from the doorway. This time it was Jarno punching her in the arm. “I did it again,” Nikki groaned, burying her head in the pillows. “No, babe, you didn’t. Dunn pushed you away, and handed you off to HP, and HP didn’t even touch you like that. The only reason you woke up cuddled up to each other was because you were really drunk and passed out holding his hand. If he moved he would wake you up, and he didn’t want to do that so he fell asleep all awkwardly posed trying not to do anything stupid to upset you. Well stupidity comes naturally to stupid people when they’re asleep, and since he was out cold when he cuddled up to you and put your head on his shoulder, we can’t blame him.” Lynn explained with a shrug. “You know more than they do about this?” Jarno asked with a grin. “Mmhmm. I know Nikki like the back of my hand, and HP isn’t the kind of guy to screw his new friend because she’s drunk and not making good decisions. At least I don’t think he is.”She nodded and sat beside Nikki, rubbing her back between her shoulderblades. “Now, go away Finn-boys, and let me tend to my poor, sick, broken, hung over, puky, best friend who has no idea how pitiful she looks right now because her head is buried under the pillow, making her look like a dead ostrich.” She ordered.

“Fuck off Lynn.” Nikki spat from her place under the bedding.

“Trying to help, Nikki.”

“I don’t need it. Fuck, off.”

“Don’t bitch because you drank too much.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m so fucked up I couldn’t find my own ass.”

“Grab your ass, Nikki.” She smirked.

“What?”

“Grab, your, asscheeks.” She clarified, struggling not to laugh, “Jarno, please make sure this is on tape.”

Nikki slowly moved her hand, but hit the bed beside her instead of the demanded body part. “Nikki, I regret to inform you, that you are too fucked up to find your own ass!” she squeaked through her laughter, and ran from the room before her friend could hit her.

“Nikki don’t worry, you haven’t gone back to the way your life used to be.” Jukka sighed, patting her on the shoulder lightly. “I drank so much I can’t remember who I tried to sleep with… that’s the life I used to live, Jukka. The difference is that Dunn and HP didn’t do it.” She mumbled. “No the difference is that you are a different person.” Jarno corrected.

The guys decided to leave her when she flipped them off, knowing that she didn’t want them filming her. When they walked out the door, Lynn had Bam in a headlock while clinging to his back, and he was spinning in a circle trying to free himself. Dunn, Raab, and Dico were laughing so hard it looked like they would die, Ape was watching worriedly, and Squint and Phil were in the kitchen eating potato chips, talking about girls. “Is this what we consider to be normal?” Jarppi asked with a grin to the camera. “Yeah.” Jukka laughed as Lynn was bashed into the wall. “Jukka, he hurt me!” she whined, “Kick him in the nards!”

“What?” he asked blankly. “The nads, man-business, nutsack, balls, groin, or crotch! Depending on who you’re talking to… I don’t know how to say it in Finnish, sorry.” Squint called out, explaining her order. “Dude,” Bam warned as Jukka walked over to him laughing and grinning ear to ear. Before he could get another word out, Jukka’s foot had made hard contact, and sent him falling to his knees, dropping Lynn on her head. “Well… it was more graceful in my mind.” She giggled as he helped her up. “Yeah, but this was funny.” He grinned and pulled her over to the couch to sit beside him and watch Bam roll on the ground, holding himself and groaning.

“Kick him harder, and see if he can sing opera!” Dunn laughed. “Dico don’t you fucking dare!” Bam shouted, but was ignored. “Nope… that was more of a tribal growl… try again and change the station!” Lynn laughed hysterically. “That’s enough, he’s in enough pain.” Ape sighed. “You’re only saying that because you want grandkids.” Raab laughed. “Every mother does.” She shrugged and went to sit with her husband.

Eventually Nikki came out of the room fully dressed with her hair and makeup done, and smiling. “Well, someone’s having mood swings.” Bam commented when he saw her, trying to hide how attracted to her he was. The Dudesons however, didn’t notice how beautiful she looked, they only noticed that she was wearing her long sleeved shirt to cover her arms. “Well, what do we have planned for today?” she asked, ignoring the stares, and Bam’s comment. “Well… nothing really. We were all going to recover from the party.” Jarno answered.

“Wait, weren’t you like, seriously hungover this morning? Like, a few hours ago?” Raab questioned. “Still am,” she laughed weakly. “It’s a skill we both posess. No matter how bad the hangover, we can act through it unless something’s terribly wrong.” Lynn explained. “Sounds nice.” Dunn nodded. “It is. Now you boys lick your wounds from last night, I wanna go out and play.” Nikki grinned and went out the door hand in hand with Lynn.

“This sucks. If they didn’t have their cameras here we could be skinny dipping.” Lynn frowned as they swam together, fully dressed. “I’m surprised you care about the cameras.” Nikki smirked, letting the cold water numb her headache.

“Good point… I will if you will.”

“I am not stripping down… the second I do, will be the second the guys all come running out to play some stupid game, and catch me in the buff.”

“Awe come on, it’ll be fun!”

“You go ahead, I’m happy in my jeans and shirt, thanks.”

Lynn huffed and started removing clothing, tossing them carelessly over Nikki and laughing as she tried not to be annoyed by her nude friend. No sooner did she chuck her panties, did Bam let out a surprised yell, catching both girls’ attention.

“Fucking told you.” Nikki smirked as Lynn ducked under the water after seeing Bam holding her underpants. “Uhm… what the fuck?” he asked blankly, still trying to wrap his head around the situation, and unable to make a worthy joke. “Nothing, go back in the house.” Nikki ordered. “No! We wanna see where this is going!” Raab laughed.

“Your hospital room, if you don’t get back in the house, dick-wipe.”

“That’s a new one.” Lynn laughed from behind her. “Oh come on, lighten up!” Dunn pushed. “JUKKA!!!” Nikki screamed, regretting it instantly with her hang over, but not really caring much since he came flying out the door ready for a fight, with HP, Jarppi, and Jarno close behind him. “Bam’s being a pervert and making us both uncomfortable, he won’t leave us alone!” she announced.

Bam’s face instantlty fell as the Dudesons turned their attention to him and his friends. “We aren’t doing anything perverted!” he defended. “You’re holding Lynn’s underwear.” Jarppi pointed out. “Ah! She threw them at me!” he argued. “I had to throw something! He was gawking!” Lynn shouted. “Leave them alone.” HP ordered. By this time Lynn was hiding behind her friend, biting her lip to keep from laughing as Bam’s crew started arguing with the Dudesons until they gave up and went back inside.

“Lynn… are you wearing any clothes at all?” Jarno questioned. “Nada.” She grinned, standing up so she was exposed from the waist up. “Don’t look so surprised, Jarppi said himself she’s like Jukka in woman’s form.” Nikki sighed. “Before you decide to heir this, just remember that my grandmother could easily find your show.” Lynn laughed before doing a headstand in the pool.

Nikki just laughed and got out, falling over the edge and landing hard on the ground before laughing even harder. “Are you two still drunk?” HP asked seriously. “Probably,” she answered as he helped her up.

“I need some asprin or something… do you have any?” she asked hopefully. “Bam does, if you can convince him to share, since you two lied to get him into trouble.” Jarppi smirked. “Please, Jarppi? It really hurts,” she pleaded. He sighed heavily and walked back into the house, coming out a few minutes with a glass of water, bottle of pills, and arguing/pissed off Bam Margera following him. “Thanks,” she smiled and took her proper dose before tossing the bottle to Bam. “I told you she didn’t need that many.” Jarppi retorted to a muttered line of swears as his American friend stormed back into the house.

“I’m gonna take a nap, have fun Lynn.” Nikki sighed and started walking towards the woods. “Wait, why are you going there?” she demanded. “The guys are loud and they hurt my head.” She answered honestly.

“Wow… someone’s pissing with the puppies today. You went from acting through it to naptime in the trees. D’you have your phone?”

“No,”

“Go get it. You’re not going Anywhere without it.”

“Yes, Mother,”

Lynn smirked and splashed Nikki as she walked past her towards the house. “We can have them be quiet if you want to sleep in a bed.” Jukka pointed out. “Eh,” she shrugged, not really giving a good enough reply for them to know what to do as she walked through the door.

“Yeah, she’s right here… uh-huh, one sec.” Bam nodded as she passed him in search of her phone, he was talking into the Dudesons’ house phone. “Nikki, it’s some guy named Dave, he wants to talk to you.” He explained. “Dave?” she breathed as he handed her the phone. “Yeah.” He nodded, looking at her like she had grown a second and third head.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Hey… look I know this is awkward… I, uhm, okay listen… Sarah and I are getting married, and I wanted you to be at the wedding… can you do that for me? You’re my only family here.”

“What?” she asked flattly, making the others around her stop and listen curiously to her side of the conversation.

“Basically, can you and Jason get along long enough to walk down the isle together? If you can’t do this then he’s going to be my best man… and I’d really like for you to be my best Woman, like you were last time.”

“Can Jason and I get along long enough…? What the…” she stopped and took a breath before continuing, “The last time we actually spoke, the last thing you said to me was to get my shit and leave, and that you would call me later if I could come back… now you want me to be in your wedding, to the woman who caused all of this?”

“She didn’t do a damn thing, Nikki! Are you still trying to lie your way out of murder?!”

“I didn’t have a choice!” she yelled as tears started rolling down her cheeks, “I didn’t have a choice, because you would have done this! I miss you, Dave, I miss having a big brother! I miss having a family! But-”

“Nevermind, Jason’s just fine as a Best Man.”

“Dave,” she pleaded but it was too late, he had already hung up. Hurt and fury overwhelmed her, and without thinking she threw the phone across the kitchen, not caring that she had ripped it out of the wall, and broke it against the one opposite. “Wow,” Dunn nodded awkwardly.

“Nikki, are you okay?” Jukka asked worriedly, but she didn’t answer. “Nikki,” he pushed, now putting his hands on her shoulders. “Jason’s gonna be his best man, he’s marrying Sarah. He wanted me to be there, but I fucked it up… god damn it!” she yelled through gritted teeth, slamming her fist against the wall, “I miss my brother,” she cried.

“Damn,” Bam muttered and walked out of the room. Lynn came in after getting dressed to find Nikki in Jukak’s arms in the kitchen, and everyone else in the living room sitting quietly. “What happened?” she demanded. “Dave called.” Squint answered bitterly. “He’s marrying some chick named Sarah.” Raab added. “He’s what? To that bitch! He’s marrying that bitch!” she yelled, but was silenced by Nikki ordering her to shut up as she tore away from Jukka and going into her room, slamming the door behind her.

“Razors are out here, right?” Squint demanded, receiving nods from all four Dudesons. “Don’t let her out of the house, keep the window under guard.” Lynn sighed and sat down beside Ape.