Mielisairas Rakkaus - a Crazy Dudesons Love Story

“Why do you do this?” HP asked Nikki sadly. They were the only two in the room but she wasn’t speaking to him. She hadn’t said a word since she woke up. “Everyone is worried about you, and we all cried when we thought you were going to die. Even Bam cried, and you two almost hate each other, but he was that worried about you. You can at least talk to us.” He frowned, but she wouldn’t even look at him. He sighed heavily and left her alone.

“Cheer up, Emo Kid. She’ll be fine.” Lynn nodded when he joined her and the others in the cafeteria for dinner. “How are you this calm?” he asked in a mix of disbelief, and outrage. “Because this is who she is. She’s upset because she thinks we’re mad at her for what she did. She didn’t want to hurt us she wanted to hurt her. The fact that she won’t talk to us, or even look at us, is a good thing.” She nodded.

“I still can’t believe it,” Dave muttered, blankly pushing his pudding around on his plate, “She’s been in so much pain, for so long, and I thought it was all just fucking great… I let her get this way.”

“No you didn’t, if you want to blame someone blame Jason and Sarah. He broke her, and she forced her to give up something she’s always wanted. Once that happened, and she recovered a little, they came back into her life and hit a reset button.” Squint explained. “Besides, now you know the truth and can kick them out of her life for good. God knows she’ll never do it on her own; she’s too damn nice.” Lynn added. “Man, we’ve known this chick for one party, and we know her deepest secrets and have seen her try to kill herself.” Bam sighed. “Yeah, but you’ll see her good points too. She can only get better from here, she just needs a push, ya know?” Squint smiled. “A push where, every time we try to talk to her she ignores us!” Raab frowned. “He means support. She just needs some support and that should be enough to get her going again.” Phil explained before they once again sat in silence.

Things didn’t get “back to normal” for a month after Nikki got out of the hospital. In that time, Bam and his crew had gone home, Sarah and Jason were banned, by law, from Dave’s property, and Lynn and Jukka had painted HP’s room bright yellow, just because he and Nikki had both mentioned how ugly that particular shade was while shopping one day in the paint isle.

“Okay, Nikki, I dare you to kiss HP.” Lynn grinned during a game of Truth or Dare with the guys at Dave’s house. Jarno istantly focused his camera on their faces. “You just kissed Squint a few seconds ago, why is this so difficult?” Dave teased when she couldn’t make eye-contact with the demanded Dudeson. She very quickly kissed him, giving a peck on the lips that was nearly three seconds long, if that. “That was not a kiss!” Jarppi announced. “He’s right, it has to be at least five seconds to count as a kiss.” Lynn agreed, struggling not to laugh as HP hung his head, and Nikki started blushing.

Nikki and HP once again followed through with the dare, but this time he was a little more serious, and she wasn’t going to pull away any time soon.

“Damn, okay… y-you two proved your point,” Dave announced after their dare kiss turned into a passionate lip-lock of honest emotions.

“S-sorry,” she blushed after they parted, unable to look at any of them. “Look at this, HP is grinning like a madman! It is like the first time he has kissed a woman!” Jarppi teased as the camera left her and went to him. “Because it is,” Jukka laughed as Nikki’s blush went deeper. “Do you remember when you first got here, and I told you these four were really great, and that you’ll fall in love with them?” Dave asked, receiving a nod for an aswer. “I didn’t mean like that.” He frowned.

“Okay, since this is obvious that you two are liking each other, any dares between you are not alowed. And, you two need to sit closer together… Jarppi, switch places with Nikki.” Squint announced, making the two of them sit side by side. “HP isn’t alowed in the bedroom tonight,” Lynn laughed and got kicked in the leg by her best friend.

Nikki didn’t make eye contact with HP for the rest of the night, and not a word was spoken between the two. The other three Dudesons teased her for quite a while, until they realized how upset it was making her when she hit Jarno with a pillow and knocked his camera from his shoulder to the floor. She almost cried after that one, feeling terrible for almost breaking it, and shortly after went to bed.

“I can’t believe it took this long,” Squint laughed as he, Jukka, Jarno, Jarppi, Dave, Lynn, and HP sat together outside, moving their party to let Nikki sleep. “What took this long?” HP questioned. “For you to kiss her! I mean, damn, it’s painfully obvious you’ve wanted to do that since… oh let’s see… from when she fell in the woods, and you carried her back I think.” He answered. “Earlier than that, it was his idea to go check on her when we first met.” Jarno informed. “Even better,” Lynn smirked.

“Just know, HP, as much as I love you guys, if you hurt her I’ll beat the living fuck out of you. I know you aren’t anything like Jason, but you hurt her even once and I’ll rip your balls off.” Dave announced seriously. “You wouldn’t want Lynn to live up to her tattoo either.” Squint nodded. “What tattoo?” Jarno questioned. Lynn smirked and took off her pants, revealing a punk-rock tattoo of a half heart necklace of a Best Friends set on her thigh, inside the loop of the chain read “Break Their Hearts I’ll Break Your Face”. “Nice.” Jukka laughed.

“We have a few tattoos actually.” Squint laughed, taking off his shirt and showing the same tattoo as Lynn on his side, however where her half heart said “Best”, his said “Forever”. “Nikki’s says ‘Friends’ on it. We got them to match the necklaces we used to wear.” Lynn explained. “I didn’t even know you three had those tattoos.” Dave laughed. “You should see our other matching tattoos.” She grinned. “Should I even ask?” HP asked with a smile. She replied by turning around and pulling down her yello underwear, showing a laughing skull, flipping them all off. “Nikki has that too?” Dave gasped. “We all got tattoos that are easy to hide.” Squint shrugged.

A few hours of joking around, laughing until it hurt, and a bloody nose later, they all decided to call it a night, and went to bed. Before going to sleep Jarppi promised the best game of Hide-and-Seek they had ever played in the morning, and while Lynn was as excited as a five eyar old going to Disney World, Dave was seriously worried about the consiquences it would pose on them as he lay awake in his bed.

“SHIT!” Squint screamed the next morning, waking Nikki and sending hear falling onto the floor in the room she and Lynn shared. “Damn your constant pranking! I’m out of clean clothes, butt head!” Lynn ranted as Nikki slowly walked out of the room, only to be hit with a balloon filled with ice cold water. “This was not our doing!” Jukka defended as another balloon hit the wall beside her doorway.

“What’s going on, Jarno?” she demanded after recovering from the shock of ice water. “Dave decided to wake everyone up early today. It’s a lucky thing you got up when you did, he was taking the hose through your window next.” He answered. “Lucky me,” she yawned and cautiously made her way to the bathrrom, only to find HP hiding in the shower in his underwear. “I don’t need to know,” she cut off when he tried to explain while being kicked out of his hiding place.

After Dave’s morning prank ended, and everyone calmed down, Jarppi announced that the game of Hide-and-Seek was to begin. Somehow Jarno and Jarppi ended up competing on who could find the most people, even though there were no teams set up. They both promised a surprise for anyone who got found, and due to that little hint, everyone hid in the best places they could find. Dave was the first one out, because he hid under the kitchen sink; whatever the surprise was, his screams and swears echoed through the entire house.

“HP, about last night,” Nikki muttered awkwardly as they hid in Dave’s dumpster together. Though it was too dark for them to see each other, she could feel him tension up beside her. “I’m sorry,” he sighed quietly.

“N-no,” she laughed.

“What?”

“I, uhm, well I was wondering if-”

“And now I win.” Jarno smirked after throwing the lid open and letting the light flood the plastic container, blinding HP and Nikki both. “Jarno don’t!” she screamed just before he shocked her with a cattle prod, sending her screaming and twitching into HP, who was given his ‘surprise’ shortly after.

“Who the hell would give you guys a cattle prod?!” she demanded angrily while half lying in HP’s lap, glaring up at the grinning blonde. “We have our sources.” Jarppi shrugged as he walked up beside Jarno. “Well they hurt lkke hell.” She spat. “Do they?” Jarno questioned, alerting her that they hadn’t been hit with one yet.

Without warning she jumped out of the dumpster and wrestled him to the ground, taking the cattle prod away in the process. Both blondes let out a mix of pained shouts, and laughter as she shocked them for revenge and HP took charge of the camera to document it all.

“That was by far the worst game I’ve ever played.” Lynn frowned when they got back to the house. “Original though, give them that.” Squint shrugged. “Oh yeah, let’s torture the losers of the game! Great idea!” she spat. “Lynn, you’re just mad because Jarppi made you piss yourself.” Dave chuckled. HP, Jarno, and Nikki all froze and started at her before Nikki burst into fits of laughter.

“You what?!”

“It’s a side effect when you really have to pee and someone electrocutes you!”

“He made you pee your pants.”

“I heard you screaming from all the way in here, pussy.”

“He made, you pee, your pants.”

“You hid in a dumpster with HP, taking ‘dirty things go in dirty places’ to the next level!”

Nikki started to blush instantly, “We weren’t doing that,”

“Uh-huh, gettin’ it on in a trash can.”

“At least neither of them wet their pants.” Squint snickered, causing several people in the room to renew their laughter. “Shut the hell up,” she spat angrily. Thanks to Dave being a “Borning Douche” he ended the fight before it could start, and saved everyone a lot of headaches.

They ended up in a comfortable silence for the first time since Nikki, Squint, and Lynn moved to Finland. The silence was broken when the guys started talking in Finnish, leaving Squint, Dave, and Nikki sitting awkardly and wondering what they were saying.

“Sign in to your MIM.” Squint texted to Nikki, since Dave had paid for her to have a new top of the line phone, to make up for everything he had done.

WickedPixie is now online!

KingOfTheMountain: You should seriously think about making a real move on ho

WickedPixie: Did you just call him “ho”?

KingOfTheMountain: Hp! You know the o and p are side by side

KingOfTheMountain: He really likes you and I know you like him too

Nikki didn’t answer, but glanced over at HP who was engaged in rapid conversation with his friends.

KingOfTheMountain: See now that’s what I mean youre in love with him and not like you were with jason

WickedPixie: I’m not in love him.

KingOfTheMountain: Oh bullshit nikki!!! Youre just scared hes going to hurt you but guess what he’s not he wouldn’t hurt you if his life depended on it because one hes in love with you and two jukka jarno jarppi dave me and lynn would probably all kill him

WickedPixie: Would it kill you to use punctuation at least? It makes it hard to read your text when its all blended together like that.

KingOfTheMountain: Youre changing the subject

Nikki again didn’t reply, but instead of HP, she looked directly at Squint, who was watching patiently for her answer.

“Who are you texting?” Dave asked, causing Squint to quickly close his phone and Nikki to delete her IM history. “Okay, nevermind.” He shrugged and walked away.

WickedPixie: That was close, Squint.

KingOfTheMountain: Lol yeah it was can you imagine what he would do if he joined this conversation

NotReallyCrazy0121012 is now online!

WickedPixie: Yeah he’d never let me live it down…

NotReallyCrazy0121012: Never let you live what down?

“Shit,” Nikki laughed, glancing up and realizing that she and Dave were still signed into their group conference from the night she found out she was moving to Finland. “Oh yeah,” he smirked, confusing all four Dudesons.

KingOfTheMountain: Keep it down would ya they’ll figure it out

NotReallyCrazy0121012: Sorry but its funny.

WickedPixie: Not really… its embarrassing… what if HP read what we were texting about?

KingOfTheMountain: Hed know you love him and want to kiss you again

NotReallyCrazy0121012: He’d ask you to stay with him tonight.

KingOfTheMountain: Lol

WickedPixie: LOL!! Your faces right now trying not to laugh!!

NotReallyCrazy0121012: At least we’re not laughing… like YOU.

“Has anyone seen my charger? I just got a Mobil IM alert, and then it died!” Lynn asked from the bathroom. “You use your phone in the shower?” Jarno questioned. “I’m not in the shower anymore,” she answered. “It’s plugged into the wall by the kitchen table!” Jarppi answered. Lynn thanked him in Finnish, and made Dave choke on his coffee.

“Who’s been teaching you to speak Finnish?” he asked with a laugh. “Jukka,” she nodded proudly. “I should have guessed.” He sighed as the Dudesons started laughing. “Why, what did I just say?” she demanded while glaring at Jukka. “You said ‘Thank you very much’.” He nodded. “You called him a whore.” Dave laughed. “Jukka you asshole! No wonder the guy at the mall laughed at me!” she shouted before throwing the nearest object, which was the television remote, at his head. After that she stormed off and sat at the kitchen table to check on her IM alerts.

I_OWN_GODS_SOUL is now online!

WickedPixie: Hi Lynn!

NotReallyCrazy0121012: Nice name…

KingOfTheMountain: Lmfao you changed your name

I_OWN_GODS_SOUL: No I didn’t, my acc got phished and I had to delete it… 

WickedPixie: Well… upside is you got a better name than “My_socks_are_pink”.

I_OWN_GODS_SOUL: OMG we had been awake for 74 hours… like the name was my fault!

NotReallyCrazy0121012: Why were you awake for so long…?

WickedPixie: For a bet.

I_OWN_GODS_SOUL: Bet against Sqint.

KingOfTheMountain: Lol and I won.

“Fuck you!” Lynn shouted, once again making the Dudesons stop their conversation in Finnish and laugh in confusion.

“Are you four texting each other from across the rooms?” Jarno asked suddenly. “We are not texting, Jarno.” Squnt sighed, “It’s an Instant Messanger.”

“You are using the Instant Messanger from across the room to each other?” HP asked. “You speak in Finnish, we speak in IM.” Nikki shrugged. The guys glanced at each other before Jukka jumped over Jarppi and took her cell phone. Squint’s face went white as he started to read the texts, and Nikki started blushing. “My socks are pink?” he questioned, looking up at Lynn. “Don’t judge,” she announced.

“What were they talking about?” Jarppi asked. “Lynn’s socks, and a bet against Squint.” He answered, sending a quick smile to Nikki as she silently thanked him for not announcing everything. “That’s no fun,” Jarppi pouted. “Well, your idea of fun includes making Lynn pee herself, so naturally…” Squint laughed, trailing off as Lynn’s cell phone hit him in the back of the head.

“We should play a game,” Dave suggested. “What kind of game?” HP questioned.

“Simon Says.”

“That glint in the eye says this isn’t going to be like other games of Simon Says,” Jarno announced, receiving a nod of agreement from Nikki.

“The losers of Simon Says, do a Walk of Shame through town.”

“And how do we decide the caller? Because the caller can’t lose…”

“I say we do a painful challenge, and the first to drop out is the first loser and the caller.” Nikki suggested. “I know just the challenge too!” Lynn squeaked and ran off to the garage, returning with three boxes of Hot Plates.

“I knew these would come in handy someday.” She giggled while setting them up. “But there are only six sets, and eight of us.” HP pointed out. “Dave has two more sets, making eight burners.” She explained, signaling for Dave to get his burners.

The task was simple. Sit on the burners, turn them on, and don’t be the first to get up. “Can you imagine going to the ER with butt burns from this?” Dave asked with a laugh. “Hello, Doctor, my friends and I have severe burning of the backside and need urgently to be treated.” Squint said. “And what were you doing to receive such burns?” Lynn questioned.

“We sat on some Hot Plates.”

“Sir, may I ask why you did that?”

“We were cooking, and the reciepe called for toasted buns.”

Nikki, Dave, Jarno, Jukka, HP, and Jarppi couldn’t contain their laughter at their improvised skit, and continued to laugh until the plates finally heated up to the point they could feel some degree of pain.

“Ouch… okay they’re getting hot!” Nikki announced, squirming in discomfort. “Ah… ah… o-oh my god, holy shit!” Dave nearly yelled as they grew even hotter. “If you couldn’t see what was happening, you’d think Dave was doing something else.” Jukka announced. “That would be funny if my ass wasn’t on fire!” Squint whined.

“Fuck this was a stupid idea!” Lynn screamed around the same time everyone else started shoutuing in pain, being to stubborn to leap off their burner first. “FUCK IT!” Dave screamed, leapt from his burner, and ran to his bathroom to soak himself in a tub of cold water. “Sh-shit!” Lynn yelped, and joined him.

Within seconds, Nikki, Squint, and all four Dudesons had left their burners and ran to different cold places to ease the pain. Squint ended up in Dave’s cooler, Jarppi dropped his pants and sat in the large meat freezer, Jukka ended up in the fridge, Lynn and Dave were still in the bathroom, and Jarno, HP, and Nikki were all in the pool they had put in Dave’s back yard.

“Did either of you see who won?” Nikki asked painfully while trying to get her bottom to stop burning. “No,” they answered in unison. “Damn,” she laughed before going under completely, and coming back up. “Why did you do that?” Jarno asked, since it wasn’t their heads that were burning. “If your whole body is wet, it’s easier to regulate your internal temperature. I’m hoping that will help cool my ass off.” She explained. “I don’t think it works that way,” HP grinned. “Well it was worth a try!” she pouted before splashing him in the face.

“Jarppi! Get your bare ass off my meat!” they heard dave shout a few hours later. Nikki started laughing so hard she slipped and fell under the water; if Jarno hadn’t caught her by the arm and pulled her back up, she would have drowned herself. “That s-sounded so, gay!” she laughed. “It did,” HP nodded with a grin as they went back into the house, since everyone’s butts had stopped burning.

“We can’t do the game right now, because I’m having some troubles with the shop. There’s some legal shit going down over payments, which I have made, but they’re saying I’m now three months overdue for my rent! I’ll be back later, don’t murder my house.” Dave announced once everyone was grouped in the living once more. “Sounds great,” Lynn sighed. “Relax, since I lost your ass burner game, I’ll also pick up some fun stuff for Simon Says,” he winked and took off, leaving everyone to entertain themselves for the rest of the night.