Mielisairas Rakkaus - a Crazy Dudesons Love Story

HP felt as though his heart has been ripped out of his chest as he screamed into Nikki’s chest in agony, still trying to shake her awake. Jukka punched the doctor who called her time of death, cursing at him to keep trying to revive her as the heart-killing sound of Nikki’s flatline continued. The nurse who had tried to order them away form Nikki earlier was no crying as well, Dave was on the floor losing his mind, and Lynn had a breakdown as well, and Squint wouldn’t believe that it was real.

A few minutes earlier, everyone in the waiting room had been awakened by the sounds of people rushing past their door to get to Nikki’s room, and Dave’s yelling and screaming in terrible panic. HP had gone to get some more coffee, refusing to sleep until Nikki was out of danger, but when he returned her room was full of medical staff trying to revive her. His coffee hit the floor as he screamed her name, trying to get back to her as quickly as possible.

Jarno grabbed him and pulled him back to give the staff room to work, while Jarppi and Bam collected Dave. As soon as the man called her death, Jukka pinned him to the wall, screaming at him to keep trying until she opened her eyes. When he was given the news that there was no possible way to revive her, that she was dead and gone forever, he hit the doctor and would have hospitalized him if Rake and Lynn didn’t pull him away. As soon as he looked at her with his helpless and heartbroken expression she broke down in his arms, sobbing with more pain than she had ever felt in her life.

Nothing though, could compare to what HP was feeling as he held her lifeless body against him, shaking her and pleading with her to come back to him. By leaving him, she took everything, and all he wanted was to have her in his arms again. To see her smile, and hear her laughter, wipe her tears away when Jason’s memory came to haunt her, kiss her lips as she slept and watch the way she always seemed to smile in her dreaming state after. Everything he wanted was in her, and he couldn’t stand that it was now all gone.

After everyone calmed down, and went back to Castle Bam, the house was filled by the most haunting silence any of them had ever felt. The only sounds that could be heard, were doors opening and closing, footsteps, a few dishes clanking as Ape occupied herself cleaning, and occasionally sniffling and crying. Not a word was spoken, because each and every one of them knew that their voices would break.

“Dude,” Bam muttered late that night as HP stood in the doorway staring blankly into the guest room he and Nikki had shared. “I don’t know what I am doing.” HP sighed, turning to leave the room but Bam wouldn’t get out of his way.

“Just be okay for her, she needs you to keep going.”

“How can I keep going?! She is GONE, Bam! I will never see her again! Never hold her, or tell her that I love, her! I will never buy that ring, and she will never know how much she means to me!”

Bam couldn’t think of anything to say as HP broke down again, continuing on about everything he would never see, or do until Ape came to help, eventually convincing him to sleep on the couch and get some rest since he couldn’t sleep in the room that was given to him and Nikki.

Over the nex few days, her funeral was planned and all hell was breaking lose. Bam wanted HIM to play, but Dave knew that Nikki wouldn’t want a huge deal made of this event. Lynn wanted to wear her pink tux, but Squint wanted everyone respectfully dressed in black. Dave wanted to bury her beside their parents, but Lynn and Squint told him she should be buried in Finland, here her heart was and where HP could at least visit her. Jarppi, Jukka, and Jarno wanted to do something special for her, and Dave told them that they shouldn’t even come to the funeral if they were going to be doing stunts “in her memory”. After that, it was all fighting and yelling until HP screamed at them all to stop, and stormed out of the house. Slamming the door hard enough to break it.

The day of the funeral was even worse. HP couldn’t believe how quickly time was passing. It was as if he was living in fast forward, and missing everything that was happening between her death and burial. He had finally stopped breaking down every five minutes, until his fellow Dudesons sat him down away from everyone else. He knew it was serious when Jarno’s camera was left behind, and all doors were closed.

“HP,” Jukka sighed, running a hand through his hair as they all awkardly tried to figure out the best way to talk to him.

“You aren’t giving me news that she is dead, so what is so hard to say?” he demanded shortly, in no mood to be around people.

“HP, we got some news last night about Nikki, and we couldn’t tell you because we didn’t know how.” Jarno sighed, sitting his friend down as they all claimed places at random.

“At first we didn’t want to tell you at all, but we would not make very good Dudesons if we kept something from you like that, we wouldn’t be friends at all.” Jukka frowned, still not knowing how to break the news to him until Jarppi just came out with it in the bluntest of ways.

“Nikki was pregnant.”

HP froze as his throat tightened again. “No… that’s impossible, we only… it hasn’t been that long!”

“I’m sorry, HP.” Jarno whispered as he broke down again, and they once again comforted him in any ways they could think of.

The burial was in Seinäjoki, and how they got there from Castle Bam before sundown he couldn’t even imagine, because her grave was already covered in grass that had grown over the turned up soil. Maybe more time had passed than he thought, and he was losing his mind. Whatever the case, he was doing no better than the day she died.

“Our baby would have been as beautiful as you are.” He smiled, sitting with his back against her stone and looking up to the sky, “Why did you have to be such a good person? You gave your life to save two strangers’ children… why? Why couldn’t you have been selfish and stayed away form the train?” he cried, and continued crying until someone’s hand touched his shoulder, and shook him.

He looked up quickly to see Jukka looking sadly down at him, but his surroundings had changed. “You need eat something, she isn’t going anywhere, HP. Come on.” He sighed, pulling his friend out of the chair beside Nikki’s bed. HP’s eyes got huge as he quickly turned around to Nikki, checking her weak pulse before kissing her head and bursting into tears. “You had a dream she died too, didn’t you?” Lynn asked quietly. “It was so real!” he breathed, gripping her hand once again and kissing her icy fingers. “I know, I never want to sleep again.” She huffed and sat down in Dave’s abandoned chair as Jukka sighed and went to get some food for them, knowing that HP wasn’t going to leave unless it was to help Nikki walk out of that hospital.