Mielisairas Rakkaus - a Crazy Dudesons Love Story

HP felt as though his heart has been ripped out of his chest as he screamed into Nikki’s chest in agony, still trying to shake her awake. Jukka punched the doctor who called her time of death, cursing at him to keep trying to revive her as the heart-killing sound of Nikki’s flatline continued. The nurse who had tried to order them away form Nikki earlier was no crying as well, Dave was on the floor losing his mind, and Lynn had a breakdown as well, and Squint wouldn’t believe that it was real.

A few minutes earlier, everyone in the waiting room had been awakened by the sounds of people rushing past their door to get to Nikki’s room, and Dave’s yelling and screaming in terrible panic. HP had gone to get some more coffee, refusing to sleep until Nikki was out of danger, but when he returned her room was full of medical staff trying to revive her. His coffee hit the floor as he screamed her name, trying to get back to her as quickly as possible.

Jarno grabbed him and pulled him back to give the staff room to work, while Jarppi and Bam collected Dave. As soon as the man called her death, Jukka pinned him to the wall, screaming at him to keep trying until she opened her eyes. When he was given the news that there was no possible way to revive her, that she was dead and gone forever, he hit the doctor and would have hospitalized him if Rake and Lynn didn’t pull him away. As soon as he looked at her with his helpless and heartbroken expression she broke down in his arms, sobbing with more pain than she had ever felt in her life.

Nothing though, could compare to what HP was feeling as he held her lifeless body against him, shaking her and pleading with her to come back to him. By leaving him, she took everything, and all he wanted was to have her in his arms again. To see her smile, and hear her laughter, wipe her tears away when Jason’s memory came to haunt her, kiss her lips as she slept and watch the way she always seemed to smile in her dreaming state after. Everything he wanted was in her, and he couldn’t stand that it was now all gone.

After everyone calmed down, and went back to Castle Bam, the house was filled by the most haunting silence any of them had ever felt. The only sounds that could be heard, were doors opening and closing, footsteps, a few dishes clanking as Ape occupied herself cleaning, and occasionally sniffling and crying. Not a word was spoken, because each and every one of them knew that their voices would break.

“Dude,” Bam muttered late that night as HP stood in the doorway staring blankly into the guest room he and Nikki had shared. “I don’t know what I am doing.” HP sighed, turning to leave the room but Bam wouldn’t get out of his way.

“Just be okay for her, she needs you to keep going.”

“How can I keep going?! She is GONE, Bam! I will never see her again! Never hold her, or tell her that I love, her! I will never buy that ring, and she will never know how much she means to me!”

Bam couldn’t think of anything to say as HP broke down again, continuing on about everything he would never see, or do until Ape came to help, eventually convincing him to sleep on the couch and get some rest since he couldn’t sleep in the room that was given to him and Nikki.

Over the nex few days, her funeral was planned and all hell was breaking lose. Bam wanted HIM to play, but Dave knew that Nikki wouldn’t want a huge deal made of this event. Lynn wanted to wear her pink tux, but Squint wanted everyone respectfully dressed in black. Dave wanted to bury her beside their parents, but Lynn and Squint told him she should be buried in Finland, here her heart was and where HP could at least visit her. Jarppi, Jukka, and Jarno wanted to do something special for her, and Dave told them that they shouldn’t even come to the funeral if they were going to be doing stunts “in her memory”. After that, it was all fighting and yelling until HP screamed at them all to stop, and stormed out of the house. Slamming the door hard enough to break it.

The day of the funeral was even worse. HP couldn’t believe how quickly time was passing. It was as if he was living in fast forward, and missing everything that was happening between her death and burial. He had finally stopped breaking down every five minutes, until his fellow Dudesons sat him down away from everyone else. He knew it was serious when Jarno’s camera was left behind, and all doors were closed.

“HP,” Jukka sighed, running a hand through his hair as they all awkardly tried to figure out the best way to talk to him.

“You aren’t giving me news that she is dead, so what is so hard to say?” he demanded shortly, in no mood to be around people.

“HP, we got some news last night about Nikki, and we couldn’t tell you because we didn’t know how.” Jarno sighed, sitting his friend down as they all claimed places at random.

“At first we didn’t want to tell you at all, but we would not make very good Dudesons if we kept something from you like that, we wouldn’t be friends at all.” Jukka frowned, still not knowing how to break the news to him until Jarppi just came out with it in the bluntest of ways.

“Nikki was pregnant.”

HP froze as his throat tightened again. “No… that’s impossible, we only… it hasn’t been that long!”

“I’m sorry, HP.” Jarno whispered as he broke down again, and they once again comforted him in any ways they could think of.

The burial was in Seinäjoki, and how they got there from Castle Bam before sundown he couldn’t even imagine, because her grave was already covered in grass that had grown over the turned up soil. Maybe more time had passed than he thought, and he was losing his mind. Whatever the case, he was doing no better than the day she died.

“Our baby would have been as beautiful as you are.” He smiled, sitting with his back against her stone and looking up to the sky, “Why did you have to be such a good person? You gave your life to save two strangers’ children… why? Why couldn’t you have been selfish and stayed away form the train?” he cried, and continued crying until someone’s hand touched his shoulder, and shook him.

He looked up quickly to see Jukka looking sadly down at him, but his surroundings had changed. “You need eat something, she isn’t going anywhere, HP. Come on.” He sighed, pulling his friend out of the chair beside Nikki’s bed. HP’s eyes got huge as he quickly turned around to Nikki, checking her weak pulse before kissing her head and bursting into tears. “You had a dream she died too, didn’t you?” Lynn asked quietly. “It was so real!” he breathed, gripping her hand once again and kissing her icy fingers. “I know, I never want to sleep again.” She huffed and sat down in Dave’s abandoned chair as Jukka sighed and went to get some food for them, knowing that HP wasn’t going to leave unless it was to help Nikki walk out of that hospital.

Chapter 25

“God damn it, Nikki, enough! Wake up!” Lynn growled, bashing her head against the wall as she sat on the floor in the hallway outside of Nikki’s room. It had been three days, and still nothing had really changed.

“The doctors said she is doing better now than she was before, maybe she will wake up soon.”
Jarno smiled hopefully, putting his arm around her as she sighed in defeat and leaned against him. “Look on the bright side, she isn’t having any problems breathing, she isn’t bleeding anywhere anymore, and they saved her foot! She will just need physical therapy.” Bam grinned happily.

“I want my best friend to wake up. I miss my sister.” She whimpered, burying her face in Jarno’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. Bam frowned, unable to find a way to lighten the situation, and went back to staring at the clock, trying to count how many times the second hand went around in an hour. Needless to say, the group was running out of ways to occupy themselves.

Dave and HP were still by Nikki’s bed, watching her “sleep”, though deep down they both knew she wasn’t actually sleeping, as much as she was in a drug induced coma by the doctors. She still hadn’t woken up, even without the drugs, and even though Dave would never admit it he knew there was still the risk of losing her.

“Wake up, wake up, the sun outside is shining for us.” Squint sang under his breath randomly, catching the attention of Jarppi, Rake, and Lynn who stared blankly at him for a second before he sang it again, making Lynn smile.

“Wake up, wake up, the sun outside is shining for us.”

“Come play, come play, we’ll laugh and run and play all day.” She sang with a bit of a laugh, as a tear slid down her face.

“Wake up, wake up, if you’re asleep you can’t play with me. Wake up, wake up, I wanna go outside and play.” They sang together, both starting to cry a bit as the song started over.

“Wake up, wake up, the sun outside is shining for us. Come play, come play, we’ll laugh and run and play all day. Wake up, wake up, if you’re asleep you can’t play with me. Wake up, wake up. I wanna go outside and play.”

“What is that?” Bam finally asked as if they were going insane. “It’s a song Nikki and Lynn made when they were really little. Dave explained with a sad smile, able to hear them from his seat beside Nikki’s bed, “When one would wake up or Lynn would come over and Nikki was still asleep they would sing it as loud as they could, jumping up and down on the other’s bed until they woke up and played. When they met Squint, he learned the song and started singing too.” He nodded. “Before long it just became like an alarm clock to us, my phone even plays it when it’s time to wake up now. We recorded it.” Squint beamed, quickly wiping a tear from his eye as silence fell over the group once more.

“Wake up, wake up, the sun outside is shining for us.” HP sang under his breath, looking longingly out the window and imagining her running around at the Ranch with him, bring a small smile to his face. “Come play, come play, we’ll laugh and run and play all day.”

Before long the others joined him, until everyone was singing for Nikki.

“Wake up! Wake up! The sun outside is shining for us! Come Play! Come play! We’ll laugh and run and play all day! Wake up! Wake up! If you’re asleep you can’t play with us! Wake up! Wake up! We wanna go outside and play!”

“Ehem!” an annoyed female voice coughed, silencing everyone, “Just what do you think you’re doing? It’s bad enough you’re taking up the whole hallway, you don’t have to annoy everyone with made up childis bull too!”

“Please, just let us have one thing to give us some hope, okay? No one else complains about us except you. No one else has a problem with us being in the hallways, or singing. It isn’t our fault you’re jealous of Nikki.” Ape frowned.

The nurse glared at them all before storming off, no doubt to find security.

“Thanks, Ape.” Lynn smiled before standing up and stretching. “Lunch time?” she questioned, receiving a few nods of agreement. With a nod to the ones who chose to stay behind, she led the way to the Cafeteria.

All through lunch she told stories about Nikki, making everyone laugh as they listened to all of her crazy or embarrassing moments. They heard everything from kindergarten, to meeting the Dudesons, to their game of Simon Says, and Hide and Seek.

“She’ll wake up, Lynn.” Ape sighed when Lynn suddenly broke down again, now finding it impossible to eat or breathe properly.

“I J-just want her b-back!” she cried, balling her hands into fists in her hair, pulling it at the roots and clenching until her knuckles turned white, “I want h-her awake and w-with me!”

“We all do, Lynn.” Rake frowend deeply, hating as much as anyone else to see her cry.

While Rake and Ape comforted Lynn, and Dico and Jukka sat helplessly, everyone except for Dave and HP were pacing impatiently in the waiting room. Finally Squint couldn’t take it anymore and ran down to the cafeteria, finding his friends half way there in the hallway, and slamming into Dico, sending them both crashing to the ground with a hard thud and grunting.

“Squint what happened?!” Lynn demanded without even bothering to help her friend up.

“Nikki!” he shouted, but that was all he was able to get out in his frantic thoughts.

“Nikki what?” Jukka pushed while helping his friends off the ground.

“Nikki… s-she just, sh-she,” he struggled, tearing up as Lynn darted down the hall and ran to her friend’s room, closely followed by everyone else, except for Squint who was slower due to his breakdown, and Ape who wanted to make sure he was okay. When he told her what was happening, everyone else was too far ahead to hear him.

When they reached Nikki’s room, the nurse wouldn’t let them in, or even near the door. She could barely see HP and Dave standing in the corner crying. The doctors were talking while nurses could be seen and heared working quickly, things being moved around, but the one sound Lynn wanted wasn’t there. Nikki’s heart monitor wasn’t beeping, or even flatlining, it was just silent.

Then she finally got a glimpse of her friend and almost passed out in shock, screaming through her sobs.

“NIKKI!”