Mielisairas Rakkaus - a Crazy Dudesons Love Story

Dave, and Squint were standing outside Lynn’s hotel, since it was the closest, waiting on Jarppi, Jukka, Jarno, HP, Lynn, and Nikki. For half the trip they were right on Dave’s bumper, then he looked back and they were gone. Just as he was about to call Jarppi, his car came to a screeching stop in front of them, and Nikki fell out of the front pasanger side door wheezing with a mix of laughter and panic. Lynn climbed out of her door, stepping on Jarno’s man business in the process, and joined her on the ground with similar actions. HP and Jarppi got out and came to stand beside the girls as if nothing had happened, joined by Jarno once he recovered.

“Where’s Jukka?” Dave questioned with slight worry. “In the trunk,” HP answered with a grin. “Why?” Squint asked slowly. “Nick had a little problem with her claustrophobia, that’s all. We pulled over, stuffed Jukka in the trunk, and everything’s okay.” Lynn answered with a wide grin. “So what had you two all tweaked when he stopped the car?” he asked. “Jarppi’s driving!” they answered together, making everyone else laugh around them.

They were interrupted by HP’s phone ringing. “Who is it?” Dave asked quickly. “It’s Jukka, he would like to be let out of the trunk now.” He laughed while hanging up the phone. “Keep him in there!” Lynn shouted. “Why?” Jarno and Nikki asked in unison. “When we were walking to the car he grabbed my ass. I’d get him back on my own but he’d like it too much.” She shrugged and started walking into the hotel. “Please don’t leave him in there, he could suffocate.” Nikki protested when Jarppi followed her. He just laughed something she couldn’t understand and kept following Lynn. Dave left too, followed by Squint, leaving her frustrated and standing between Jarno and HP.

“You’re not gonna let him out, are you?” she asked flattly. Jarno started to laugh while HP shook his head. “Fine, then I will,” she shrugged and walked to the trunk. Both men watched in amazment as she effortlessly picked the lock with a clothshanger from her bag, and stepped back while Jukka climbed out and hugged her. “I knew you would be on my side.” He beamed. “You helped me, I helped you.” She shrugged and picked up her belongings before following her friends into the hotel.

Only an hour into their party, Lynn’s room was more than trashed. The bed was somehow flipped over, a table was broken, food was everywhere, and the curtains had been torn down. Three hours in the mess was worse and the bathroom door was broken off its hinges. Five hours in, they had been kicked out. Nikki once again rode in the passanger seat of Jarppi’s car, while he drove. HP drove Dave’s car, Dave rode in the middle of Jarppi’s back seat, Lynn got the trunk, Squint rode with HP, and Jarno was laughing so hard at Nikki trying to speak Finnish he could hardly film their trip to Squint’s hotel.

The party continued well through the night until everyone just fell asleep. Nikki ended up sleeping in Jukka’s arms while holding a small handheld video camera, hiding in Squint’s huge suitcase in the closet while they played hide and seek. Her claustrophobia wasn’t so bad since she wasn’t nervous, so it didn’t bother her at all at that point. Squint was under the sink in the bathroom, Dave took the bed, Lynn pretty much fell over standing in the middle of the floor and stayed there, and Jarno set his camera up to tape everything while he hid and fell asleep under the bed. Jarppi was asleep on the floor also, and HP pushed Dave onto the floor beside him so he could have the bed; payback for putting a mousetrap on his ear earlier in their party.

“HP, HP wake up,” Jarno whispered early the next morning. He was the first to wake since it eas extremely early, and saw a perfect opportunity to wake evreryone up, and probably get thrown out of the hotel in the process. But they had a third room to get to anyway, so it was all right. HP stirred a little and sat up, waiting for an explination while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I am going to set off the fire alarm, then you yell fire and hit them with the fire-extinguisher.” Jarno explained. He started to laugh quietly as the camera man struck six matches and held them under the fire-detecter. As soon as it started to go off, HP went into action.

“FIRE! GUYS, FIRE! WAKE UP!”

Nikki woke up to HP’s shouts with no memory of where she was. She could hear people rushing and crashing around somwhere, but where she was there was no light, or room to move, and there was someone else pressed up against her. “What is happening?” Jukka muttered as he woke up, but she couldn’t answer, because now her claustrophobia was an issue. “FIRE!!” Dave yelled, “NIKKI WHERE ARE YOU!?”

“D-Dave,” She whimpered while struggling in whatever she was trapped inside. Jukka wrapped his arm around her and held her still while fishing around his pockets for his cell phone, as soon as he had it he opened it up to use it as a flashlight to find the way to undo the suitcase, but it wasn’t visible. He looked over to see that Nikki looked ten times worse than she did in Jarppi’s car before he was stuffed in the trunk. Immediately he pressed redial, and called for help.

“Hello?” Jarno answered, laughing with everyone else as the prank settled down, “Jukka, where are you?”

“Is Nikki with him?” Dave demanded. “Put it on speaker!” Lynn ordered.

“Guys, we’re in the closet in Squints suitcase and we can’t get out! We need help!” Jukka’s voice announced, making it clear that they didn’t know it had all been a joke; they thought the hotel room was really burning. Before Jarno could say anything, the closet doors were thrown open, most likily being broken as well, and the case was unzipped by Jarppi and Dave. “It was a joke, sis, just a joke. Jarno and HP pranked us, that’s all. There’s no fire, you’re okay.” Dave soothed as Nikki sobbed into his shoulder. “Turn that camera off, Finn boy, or I’ll shove it up your ass.” Lynn ordered darkly; Nikki’s tears weren’t going to make any television episodes while she was around. He nodded and shut the camera off, and watched with everyone else as Dave comforted Nikki and finally got her to calm down.

“Why would you do that?” she whimpered while glairing at Jarno and HP. “It was a joke, we had no idea you and Jukka were in the closet. We were just supposed to wake everyone up and then laugh about it when the smoke cleared.” HP answered apologetically, genuinly feeling terrible for having played a part in something to upset her so much.

“It wasn’t funny, and I’m not laughing.”

“Hey, give the guys a break; they didn’t know.” Jarppi cut in. “Give the guys a break hell, you two watch your backs. Payback’s a bitch.” Lynn scoffed. “They’ll deserve anything you throw at them, just watch it because these guys prank back.” Dave grinned. “Why are you smiling? Your joke was ten times worse than theirs! If I’m getting anyone back, it’s you!” Nikki announced, pulling away from him and standing beside Lynn.

“Did you turn that camera back on?” Squint asked Jarno suddenly, noticing the way he had set it down, and positioned it to capture most everyone on the room. “He never turned it off.” Nikki laughed. “Assface.” Lynn sighed while throwing herself onto the bed that HP had slept in. “Takes one to know one.” Squint laughed, earning himself the finger as a silent reply.

“So what now? Since everyone is recovered from the jokes…” Dave asked awkwardly. “Food.” The girls answered together. “And no, none of you are cooking. With the way things are going, I just don’t trust anyone with my food.” Nikki added, finishing with “No offence, I’m just sayin’.”

“Maybe we should go down for breakfast?” Jukka suggested. “Good luck, Lynn and I got physically thrown out last night.” Squint sighed. “Why?” HP, Jarppi, Nikki, Jukka, and Dave questioned together, while he, Lynn, and Jarno started to laugh. “I got on the table and started stripping while Squint sang the Thong Song.” She explained. “It was very funny.” Jarno nodded. “Well… let’s try and if we get kicked out oh well; I’m about to die.” Nikki yawned, and led their group of sleepy, hung-over, but still somehow hyper people down to the resturant area of the hotel for some food.

Everyone was thrilled to see that they weren’t banned, and quickly just ordered the buffet. The Dudesons, Dave, and Squint goofed off throughout breakfast, but Nikki and Lynn were silent as they scarfed down their heaping mounds of food. “Jarppi I think you have some competition.” HP joked, as he was the only other person with that much food. “We’re hungry.” The girls shrugged together. “They kind of have that twin connection thing going on. They’ve been friends since… none of us really remember how they met. It’s been that long.” Dave explained when all four Dudesons reacted to their perfect “Doublemint Twins” moment.

Suddenly their peaceful breakfast was interrupted by Lynn shoving a handful of oatmeal into Nikki’s face. Nikki retalliated with a bowl of fruit salad, but missed and hit a nearby security guard. “Sorry!” she announced, but frowned realizing that he probably didn’t speak English very well, if at all. To her delight he waved that it was all right and walked away.

“We should race.” Lynn announced randomly. “Race to where?” Jarppi asked, clearly liking where this was going. “Dave’s house.” Nikki answered, already knowing what her friend had planned. “I’m on Dave’s team.” Squint announced immediately. “Then you’re not on mine.” Nikki replied, still a little mad at Dave. “Who the hell cares how we pick teams… readysetgo!” Lynn yelled and ran from the table to get her things. Nikki yelped and also dashed for her belongings, followed by Jarppi, HP, Squint, and Jarno who wanted to catch all of this on tape.

“Give that back it’s mine!” Lynn laughed as the girls scrambled for their belongings. “Go get it, I’m not helping you! We’re not on the same team!” Nikki shouted, and threw Lynn’s shower bag into the hallway, letting it’s contents spill all over the place.

“Bitch.”

“We know you are.”

“Serious bitch!”

“Yes you are!” Nikki laughed and ran past her as Jarppi and HP grabbed some of her bags and helped her run away. Squint had his own camera out, and promised to give Jarno a coppy of everything he taped, so Jarno ran after them to make sure nothing was missed.

Somehow in the crazy rush of things, Nikki ended up driving Jarppi’s car, and following his directions on how to get to Dave’s house in Seinäjoki, from whatever hotel they were in, in Helsinki. Jukka, Lynn and Squint were crammed into Dave’s car with him, Jarppi was riding up front with her, and everyone else was in their back seat. “You have no idea how awkward it is to drive when you keep yelling in my ear! I don't know these roads, and this one feels to narrow!” she groaned.

“You’re doing fine, speed up!”

“Shut up Jarppi! I don’t need to go any faster, I’m way past the speed limit anyway!”

“Petal to the metal!”

“Stop helping Jarno!”

“Watch the potholes.”

“HP,”

“You’re in the wrong lane!”

“I KNOW! Stop distracting me this is hard! Wait what?!”

“BREAK!”

Nikki screamed, slammed her breaks, and swerved into a ditch in order to miss the car she nearly hit head-on. “Is everybody okay?” HP asked once he recovered a bit. “Yeah,” Jarppi announced, though it was obvious he was in pain. “I’m all right, the camera is not though, I don’t think.” Jarno announced, also clearly in pain. “Nikki?” he asked, but got no response.

“Nikki? Are you okay?” he repeated, but still got no reply, “Jarppi check Nikki!” HP shouted. “I am!” he replied worriedly. Nikki’s eyes were open, and she was breathing, but it was obvious she wasn’t okay. She was looking straight ahead of her with an expression of terror, her breathing was heavy, and she had tears in her eyes. “Nikki, look at me, are you okay?” he asked softly, but still with a heavy amount of worry. She blinked a few times and turned to meet his eyes, “I… W-we…” she stammared, unable to really function. “She’s okay I think, just in shock.” He announced to the others, and got out of the car as the other driver came up to them speaking in rappid Finnish that was a mix of anger, and concern.

Jarno also got out of the car, followed by HP, who opened her door and helped her out. She had a cut on her head which was bleeding and dripping down her face, but it wasn’t bad, other than that all she would have were a few bruises; she got the worst injuries out of anyone. “Nikki, can you breathe okay?” Jarno asked, now more concerned for her than his camera. “N-no,” she whimpered as the full event hit her; she could have killed someone.

“Come here away from the car.” HP sighed, and took her away from the now heavily dented vehicle. “No one is hurt. The other car doesn’t even have a cratch, I think you’re the most hurt of anyone.”

“The other driver, h-he’s okay?”

“That’s him there. He’s angry, but I think we won’t have to worry too much. Jarppi I think is handling it.”

She was really shaken up, and only responded by bursting into tears. “Shh, you’re okay. Everything is just fine, I just told you no one is hurt.” He sighed and pulled her into a comforting hug, giving her a shoulder to cry on.

Once everything and everyone calmed down a bit, she helped the guys get the car back onto the road, but not without the help of the other driver, some rope, and his truck. Within a few minutes they were back in the race. This time she sat in the back with Jarno, while HP drove.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jarno sighed after turning off the camera for a bit to save batteries; nothing exciting was happening since everyone was still pretty keyd up. “I’m fucking everything up.” She muttered, keeping her focus on the scenery going past her window. “How is that?” HP questioned. “Oh, let’s see. In my first two days in Finland I have gotten lost in Helsinki, forced you guys to stop your car for my panic attack, got trapped in a suitcase with Jukka, threw a bowel of fruit at a security guard, and wrecked your car. You tell me how that isn’t fucking everything up! Dave wanted this big happy family thing, where me and him live together again, and have fun, and everything is just great, but look how well that’s turning out!” she answered sarcastically, and even though none of them could see her face, they could tell she was starting to cry. “Getting lost was your brother’s fault, not yours.” He stated firmly, only glancing back at her before focusing his eyes back on the road. “And you being trapped in the suitcase can be blamed on these assholes.” Jarppi nodded. “Hey we said we are sorry!” Jarno protested, still feeling terrible for that prank. “It’s okay.” She mumbled.

“You know, hitting that security guard with the bowel of fruit was pretty funny.” Jarppi chuckled. “The pinaple stuck to him, that was funny.” HP added, but their efforts didn’t pay off; Nikki wasn’t going to smile any time soon.

After an hour of driving in silence Jarno’s phone started to go off, and after a short conversation with whoever was on the other line he hung up and sighed. “They booked a hotel for all of us to stay at, because they know it’s impossible to drive all the way to Seinäjoki in one night.” He announced, “They’re already there… five hours ahead of us.”

“Then we’re not stopping! Get some sleep, we’ll take turns driving and get there first. I don’t know what the losers will have to do, but I don’t think we are going to like it.” HP replied. “Good idea.” Jarppi nodded. “We should stop at the hotel.” Nikki announced. “Then they will beat us.” Jarno pointed out. “Not if we do a little Sabotaging.” She grinned. “I like the way you think.” Jarppi nodded approvingly. She muttered her thanks and fell asleep, and stayed that way until they reached the hotel Dave and the others were staying at.

As soon as they got there, Jarno’s camera was on and taping. Nikki was feeling a lot better after getting some decent sleep, and was very into helping Jarppi and HP sabotage their opponents. “I just got a better idea.” Nikki gasped before Jarppi could slash Dave’s tires.

“What?”

“Take the car.” She grinned evilly.

He started to laugh quietly as she opened the door and started hotwiring. “Put their stuff in the parking lot here, I’ll ride shotgun, one of you drive. We’ll haul ass and get there by tomorrow evening.” She hissed while unloading the trunk of all of Lynn and Squint’s belongings. As soon as they were done, Jarno hooked up a small dashboard camera to Dave’s car, and Jarppi jumped into the driver’s seat while he and HP ran back to the other car and she got in the passenger seat.

“I love how Jarno just pulls a random camera from his ass so he doesn’t miss any footage.” She laughed as they got ready to leave. “Is that where he’s keeping them now…?” Jarppi questioned suggestively, but was unable to keep from smiling and they both burst into laughter.

HP suddenly laid on the horn and screeched tires out of the parking lot, making Nikki squeak and jump, and Jarppi laugh that he was glad to have that on tape. Dave, Jukka, Squint, and Lynn all came out of the hotel in their pajamas, and in Jukka’s case boxers, yelling and shouting as Jarppi waved out the window to them and followed HP, laughing all the way. “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS! REVENGE WILL BE MINE!” Lynn screamed at them. Nikki replied with flipping her middle finger out the window and laughing just as hard as Jarppi.

The end of the race named Nikki, HP, Jarno, and Jarppi victorious, and newly formed best friends. Jarppi’s car quit working and had to be pushed the last little bit to Dave’s house, Dave’s car lost the back bumper, and Dave, Lynn, Squint, and Jukka had to be their slaves, dressed in pink maid costumes, and high heels. Lynn somehow found a pink suit and wore that under the excuse “If the guys have to dress in drag, so should I.”

Dave’s house was a very small blue farmhouse about half an hour away from the Dudesons’ ranch. He had a barn/garage but it collapsed, and when asked what happened to it he, Jukka, and Jarppi all just started laughing.

Since she won, Nikki didn’t have to carry anything into the house, or set up her stuff in the bedroom that she would be sharing with Lynn. Dave and Lynn did that while Jukka and Squint cleaned up the house, and she HP, Jarppi, and Jarno kicked back in the living room, and relaxed.

“JUKKA!” Jarppi yelled while ringing a little bell. “What?” he demanded from the kitchen.

“We need more drinks!”

“Get them yourself, we’re busy!”

“Jukka who lost the race?”

“We did, because you stole the car!”

“Who lost the race?”

“We did.” He sighed.

“So who is the servants all dressed up for their work?”

“We are,”

“BRING US MORE DRINKS, MAID JUKKA!”

“And some ice cream!” Nikki added with a laugh.

Nikki burst into uncontrollable laughter as he came in balancing four glasses of tea, since that was all Dave had in the house at the moment, and four bowels of light green ice cream. “This does not look like any ice cream I have seen,” HP announced suspiciously. “It’s mint! You know Dave loves mint ice cream, Nikki!” Squint shouted from the other room. “It’s true.” She shrugged, and joined the guys in digging in.

“This is not mint!” Jarno coughed as soon as he took his first bite. “Frozen wasabi?” Nikki squeaked through her own coughing. Jukka left the room laughing through his victory. “W-we need to get them back for that.” She announced. “Yeah, but first we need some water.” Jarppi nodded, also coughing with the rest of them.

“So how do we get them back for the wasabi?” she asked once they recovered, and were able to get away from the maids long enough to plan something decent. “Not sure yet.” Jarno replied. “I have a plan, but it only takes two.” Jarppi announced. “And who’s the second?” she asked. “HP.” He grinned simply, “Besides, you need to sleep. Your eyes look worse than Jarno’s.” he joked. She nodded with a yawn and went to her bedroom and was asleep within minutes.