Mielisairas Rakkaus - a Crazy Dudesons Love Story

It only took four hours and three beers for Nikki and Lynn to make up and become best friends again. Squint was crowned King of Ending Girl-Drama by Lynn, and somehow Jarppi became Tiffany. No one really knew how he got that name, but it stuck and it was funny.

“Whoa, is that a mud-pit?” Lynn laughed as the grand tour of the Dudesons ranch was coming to an end. “Yeah, our pet pig Britney dug it up.” Jukka nodded. “We should so have a mud-wrestling championship sometime.” Nikki laughed. “How about now?” Jarppi asked with a laugh, and threw her in. “What, you’re not gonna get dirty too?” she asked with a pout. “Nope I am!” Lynn shouted before he could answer, and before Nikki knew what happened she was face down in the mud with Lynn straddling her back. “I win!” she beamed. “Ten… nine…eight…seven… six… five,” Squint counted as Nikki struggled to roll Lynn off of her, “Four…” the Dudesons joined in, “Three… Two…”

“FUCK!” Lynn shrieked as she was thrown to Nikki’s left as she rolled and quickly jumped to her feet. “One second to spare! Bring it on baby!” she cheered. Lynn laughed and tackled her and the actual wrestling began. “Careful with what you tape Jarno, people may think this is porn.” Squint laughed as Nikki slipped out of her shirt to get out of Lynn’s grasp. “COUNT IT!” she screamed, now holding Lynn in a headlock to keep her sprawled out in the mud. The guys counted with Lynn squirming and laughing curses the entire time, but Nikki won.

“Does anybody have a stick?” she asked as Lynn walked out of the pit and threw her shirt back at her. “Will this work?” Jarno asked, tossing her the leg of a chair that had been broken. “Perfect, Squint called winner.” She grinned evilly while sitting on her knees. He sighed and removed his shoes and shirt before kneeling in front of her and holding the stick. “Someone call go.” They asked together. “Three, Two, One, GO!” Jarno, HP, Jukka, and Jarppi all shouted and instantly the two were fighting for the stick.

“The goal is to take it away from the other player. She doesn’t look like it, but Nikki’s a seriously strong person so these matches are always fun to watch.” Lynn explained as the two muddy friends rolled all around the pit. “Yeah, we know. She wrestled Jarppi and threw him into the pool.” Jukka grinned.

Squint cried out suddenly, followed by Nikki screaming in victory. Everyone’s attention went back to the fight to find Squint curled up in a muddy ball, holding his crotch and groaning. “We are in a mud-pit, I am going to play dirty.” She announced to the camera, annunciating the D and T in “mud-pit” heavily. “All’s fair in love and war.” Lynn snickered while dragging Squint out of the pit. “Who wants some?” she asked with a wild laugh and without warning Jukka tackled her.

They wrestled for a short while before being stopped by Lynn. “Assume the position!” she ordered, making everybody laugh as Jukka and Nikki knelt in front of each other, both holding the chair leg. The guys counted it down, called go, and Jukka pulled hard, thinking he would just yank it out of her grasp. But Nikki’s plan was to drive herself towards him, causing him to fall back with her on top of him. She rolled, he rolled with her, and suddenly she shot away from him holding the stick above her head. “Next!” she beamed.

Jarppi’s match was a lot longer than Jukka’s. He had a plan, and that was to tire her out so that her grip would slip. She had a plan too; it was hold on as tightly as possible while he rolled all around with her clutching onto it. Finally though, both of their grips slipped and left them holding the stick one handed. “No grab backs!” Lynn and Squint shouted together. “That means we have to fight one handed.” Nikki explained and kicked his ankle out from under him, taking the stick in the process.

Jarno lost pretty quickly after starting a second one-handed match, but that was because Nikki cheated and gave him a wedgie with her free hand.

HP showed no mercy, and pinned straddled her, pinning with his legs in a way that made it so she could hardly move as he held her down with his body weight. Within minutes he had the stick and she was sitting in the mud pouting while the Dudesons jumped around cheering for their friend.

Without warning she whipped a wad of mud at him, and he retaliated with a handful of his own. In no time at all everyone except Jarno was involved in a six-way mud-wrestling match, just for fun.

Eventually they all got tired of the mud and went over to the hose to get cleaned up, taking turns spraying each other until the mud was gone. “You guys have the best house ever!” Nikki laughed as they sat around in the sun to dry off a bit. “Yeah, it’s pretty nice.” Jukka nodded fondly. “Better than Dave’s.” Lynn scoffed. “Only because Sarah is over there.” Nikki laughed.

“They were talking about moving in together.” Squint announced. Nikki groaned while rolling over and burying her face in HP’s shoulder. “If Bitch moves into Dave’s, will you adopt me?” she asked like a little child, but was unable to do it without laughing hysterically. “No, seriously I don’t think they will move in together.” She giggled. “Why not?” Jukka and Squint asked together as she rolled back to her original position. “Because Dave will see her true colors and realize she’s a cunt-face.” She laughed. “I hope so. Damn I hate that whore.” Lynn nodded.

“Hey, we are blowing up Jarppi’s car tomorrow, you guys should help!” Jarno announced, changing the subject to something lighter. “Yeah! I think Nikki deserves to have the first shots at it!” Jukka laughed. “What can we do to help? I would love to blow that sucker up.” She laughed with a slight roll of her eyes. We are filling it with gasoline and some fireworks, and then taking turns shooting it with rockets!” Jarppi explained enthusiastically. “Yeah, I definitely want to help!” She nodded firmly. “Me too?” Lynn begged. “Of course, and Squint also! We can invite everybody!” HP nodded. “Everybody?” Squint and Nikki asked, suddenly losing their enthusiasm. “Well… we only have one, two, three, four, five, six… eight rockets.” Jarppi grinned, “So that means only four other people can help.” He shrugged. “You’re the man, Jarppi.” Nikki nodded happily thrilled to know that Sarah and Jason would have no part in their fun.

Squint slept on the floor in the living room that night, since HP claimed the couch and both girls shared his room that he had donated to Nikki. Though neither female in the house actually went to bed while the others slept. “Nick, you remember when we used to sneak out like secret spies, to climb up and sit on the roof at night?” Lynn whispered. “Super Secret Spy Ninja Jedi Training?” she asked with a chuckle. “Yes!” she hissed with a squeak of laughter, “How about we try Super Secret Finnish Spy Ninja Jedi Training?”

“You’re the bomb.”

“Shit straight I am. Let’s go.”

Both girls quietly made their way through the house, passing Squint who was sleeping with one of Jukka’s shoes as a teddy bear. They had to hug each other and bury their faces in the others’ shoulders to keep from laughing so they could tiptoe past HP, and get out the door.

“That was easy.” Nikki laughed quietly as they began their ascent to the roof of their house. “Of course, because it was the easy part. This is where it’s hard to sneak!” Lynn hissed. Both of them had trouble climbing, but eventually they were awkwardly positioned, lying on the roof, watching the sky.

“It doesn’t get too dark here in the summer, does it?” Lynn mused.

“No… it’s really pretty.”

“I know, why can’t nights in LA be like this?”

“What, quiet?” Nikki questioned, making both of them laugh.

“Yeah, quiet, relaxing… this feels like home. Like my whole life I’ve been in the wrong place until now.”

“You’re getting mushy on me Dr. Phyllis.”

“Hey, I wasn’t being mushy, I was being dramatic! There’s a difference!”

Nikki nodded and stayed quiet until both girls fell asleep.

That morning was crazy for the guys. All five of them searched the entire ranch for the girls, and the woods around it. Squint even called Dave to see if they went back home, but he hadn’t seen them. “Could Nikki have run off?” Jarno asked worriedly. “Lynn would’ve left a note.” Squint sighed in exasperation. “Then we’ll keep looking.” Jarppi announced and continued to travel the ranch, calling their names.

Nikki stirred as she heard her name being called. She sat up, completely disoriented, and felt herself sliding. Before she knew what was happening she was falling, and screaming for her life as icy water surrounded her. “Nikki! Are you all right?” HP gasped as he pulled her out of the pool. She couldn’t answer through her coughing, but clung to him for dear life. “What happened?” Jarno demanded as he and the others came running to them from different directions. “I don’t know… she fell into the pool.” He answered in pure confusion, still doing his best to comfort her until she calmed down.

By that time Lynn was awake and trying to figure out where she was. She carefully maneuvered to look down at the others after remembering their Super Secret Finnish Spy Ninja Jedi Training the night before and started laughing; Nikki fell off the roof again. Without giving it a single thought she did a front flip from the roof and into the pool, causing a splash big enough to hit everyone around her. “Where did you come from?!” Jarppi demanded after swearing in Finnish from his surprise shower. “The roof… we slept there.” She shrugged. “You fell from the roof into the pool?” Jukka asked Nikki. “You are lucky you hit the pool.” HP frowned. “Like I meant to fall off the stupid roof!” she retorted. “Yet, you always do.” Lynn laughed, ringing out her hair as she hopped out of the water.

“Why were you up there?” Squint asked with a tired sigh. “Super Secret Finnish Spy Ninja Jedi Training.” They answered together and the guys started to laugh. “Ninjas are better at leaping from rooftop to rooftop, like shadows!” Jarppi shouted like an excited child. “We were sleepy ninjas.” Lynn shrugged and leaned her full weight against Jukka who stepped back and let her fall to a sitting position. “Jerk-off.” She laughed. “I’m sure he does.” Nikki nodded, once again joining the others in hard laughter before walking into the house to get changed.

Jarppi and Jukka left and a few minutes later returned dressed as clowns, wearing scary Halloween clown masks. “Guys, the hell?” Lynn asked blankly. To answer her question Jarppi turned to face the camera. “We the evil clowns, are going to kidnap our new friend Nikki, and hold her hostage from the others.” Jarppi grinned. “Yeah, our first prank of the day!” Jukka added, finishing with an evil laugh and running into the house with Jarppi close behind, being trailed by Jarno who held the camera.

Lynn and Squint both protested heavily, but their arguments fell on deaf ears. “They won’t hurt her.” HP assured. “Not on purpose, but Nikki’s afraid of clowns!” Squint sighed and took off after the Evil Clowns just as Nikki started screaming.

“Nikki! Nikki it’s us, calm down!” Jukka laughed as Nikki fought against them. Both Dudesons took off their wigs and masks. Tears were still streaming down Nikki’s face as she looked up at him in disbelief. “It was a joke.” Jarppi explained. “It isn’t very fucking funny!” she spat. “We didn’t think it would scare you so much.” he confessed. “Of course it did, I’m afraid of clowns! When I was little my dad took me to a circus, and I got lost in a room full of clowns. I was three and I never forgot it! After that I had nightmares of evil clowns laughing at me because I was lost and alone, and eventually as I got older they started hurting me and trying to kill me! That joke isn’t funny!” she explained angrily.

“Nikki, chill a tad, they didn’t know. We tried to tell them but they were already in prankster mode.” Lynn sighed and hugged her friend. “Well, another thing we didn’t know about you that we do now.” HP nodded as they all retired to the living room while Lynn and Squint made their After Party Breakfast Special, which consisted of anything they could find to eat in the Dudesons’ fridge.

“We called Dave to invite him over for the car, he said he should be here in a few hours.” Jarno announced as they ate the surprisingly… edible, breakfast that Squint and Lynn had created. “Great, I’ll have to change though.” Nikki nodded. “Why?” Jarppi asked while turning his toast into a buttery mess, almost exactly like Nikki’s. “Because he doesn’t know, remember? And he can’t know. So I have to wear sleeves to cover my scars and track marks.” She sighed. “Oh yeah, sorry I forgot about that.” He nodded.

Lynn once again wore her pink tux, which had come to be her favorite outfit of all time, while Nikki wore a long sleeved black shirt, lose fitting blue jeans, and old tennis shoes. Squint stayed in the oversized blue shirt and pajama pants he has slept in since he figured they would end up doing something to mess up their clothes anyway.

Everyone was armed with their own fireworks to shoot at the car when Dave arrived, but instead of his crummy little white car, a nicer dark blue one pulled up and parked beside their barn. “Are you serious?” Squint whispered. Nikki started laughing quietly and leaned against the house as Jason walked up to them smiling. “Dave couldn’t make it, because he had to do a tattoo for my sister. He said you guys shouldn’t care if I take his position because Nikki and me need to catch up.” He smiled, refusing to take his eyes off of her; “I still can’t believe how great you look now. Six years have made a huge difference.”

HP grabbed Lynn before she could move, knowing she was about to hit him, while Squint rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. Nikki just smiled a convincing smile and took a few steps towards him, “Thanks, Jason. Things have changed a lot in the last six years.” She nodded and handed him his fireworks. “Shall we blow up the car?” she asked Jarppi happily.

To her surprise, Jukka had Jason walk up ahead with him and Jarppi, keeping Jarno, Lynn, himself, Squint, and HP between him and Nikki. “You seem happy to have him here.” HP commented as they walked side by side. “Not at all, it’s acting. But if I treat him like shit, he goes to Dave and tells him everything.” She explained quietly. “They are blackmailing you.” He muttered.

“I know, but I can’t do anything about it. I can’t lose my big brother; he’s the only family I have now. Dad died a few years ago, and is now buried a few places from Mom.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know about your parents.”

“It’s okay. That’s something I hardly talk to anyone about. Not even Squint and Lynn.”

“But he loves you, and if you tell him then he will understand. He may be angry with you, but he will not disown you the way you are afraid he will.”

“You don’t understand, HP. It’s really complicated. Let’s just blow up this car, and pretend Sarah and Jason are in the trunk.” She smirked as they finally got close to the big open space with only the car for at least a mile.

“Since Nikki was the one to crash the car, we give her the first shot.” Jarppi announced and lit her rocket. She took aim, and missed terribly. “Okay, so you drift high and to the left!” Lynn laughed hysterically, taking aim. “And you drift low and to the ground.” She smirked as her firework went a few feet in front of them and fizzled out in the grass. Each Dudeson took his turn firing, but no one hit the car. Two full rounds, later it was back to Nikki for her fourth attempt, but this time she wasn’t alone.

“Let me help you.” Jason offered, standing behind her and helping her to aim, keeping their bodies extremely close. “She’s not pushing him away…why isn’t she pushing him away?” Lynn demanded through gritted teeth. “Because she, is still, in love, with him.” Squint answered.

“You know, I never forgot about you Nikki. I never stopped regretting taking Sarah with me, instead of you when I moved here either.” Jason whispered to Nikki as he helped her with her aim. The way his breath danced across her neck gave her shivers, and brought back old memories of how happy and deeply in love they were before. “Shoot the fucking rocket!” Lynn ordered sharply. “Sorry Lynn,” Nikki laughed and lit her rocket. “Miss, miss, miss, miss,” Squint pleaded quietly as the glowing spark flew towards the car. “YES!” Lynn cheered when it landed six feet away from it. “Well, you’re not so great at helping, are you? It still missed!” Squint beamed as Lynn fired her own rocket, and also missed again.

“Fuck it! Let’s all just fire all the rockets we have and blow the fucker to smithereens!” Nikki shouted, since she was actually getting bored with the game now, and needed something to get Jason off her mind. “Here, I’ll hold the camera while you do that… I really don’t want to be involved in that.” Jason announced. “Be careful with his baby, or I’ll have your ass.” Lynn smirked as Jarno taught him how to work the device, and within less than a minute the six of them were screaming and charging the car with fountains. Four minutes later the car was in flames and fireworks were shooting everywhere since they had loaded the car for destruction.

“I’M SIIINGING IN THE RAIN! IN THE FLAMING RAIN! WHAT A WONDERFUL FEEEELLLING, IN THE BURNING RAAAIINNNN!” Lynn sang at the top of her voice as she danced around, dodging falling fireworks. Nikki joined in, as well as Jukka, Jarppi, HP, and Jarno, while Jason filmed from a distance. “Don’t tell me you love him again.” Lynn sighed after catching Nikki watching him. “I never stopped,” she confessed. “You don’t need him. He hurts you, he hurt you really bad, and left you to drink, shoot, slash, and fuck yourself into destruction. You almost died because of him!” she spat before Jukka ran up and carried Nikki off.

“What are you doing?” she laughed. “You have a phone call.” He explained simply as HP handed her his cell.

“Hello?” she answered, trying very hard not to laugh.

“Hey Nikki, its Dave. When are you coming home?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“Well I miss you, for one, and you have to work tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay. What time?”

“Four.”

“Okay, I’ll be home before then. I gotta go though, bye.”

“Wait, ask the guys if Jason can stay at their place tonight.”

“Why?” she demanded harshly.

“Ask!”

She sighed heavily and handed the phone back to Jarno. “Ask Dave what he wants.” She spat.

“What, why? … No… Because we don’t have enough room here, sorry. … We would but with Squint, and Lynn, and Nikki there just isn’t room for him. … Goodbye.”

“What did he want?” Jarppi asked as soon as the phone was hung up. “For Jason to stay with us.” He answered. “Hell no. Hell mother-fucking no.” Lynn replied sharply. “I told him there isn’t room.” He shrugged as they made their way back to Jason so he could retrieve the camera.

By the time Jason left, Lynn was asleep and Squint wasn’t far from it. The car had burned out, and the Dudesons and Nikki were all relaxing in their living room, though Nikki was very on edge and not doing much relaxing. “Did he do something, Nikki?” HP asked finally, he had been trying to avoid asking that exact question all night but just wasn’t able now; she looked very upset. “No,” she answered honestly; “Well… he didn’t mean to, I’m hurting but not because of him. Ugh, it is because of him it… he didn’t… I don’t know!” she sighed, rubbing her hands down her face. “What’s on your mind?” Jarppi asked as he turned to face her better.

“Jason,” she muttered into her hands, “I didn’t think I did. I thought I was over him, but when he was helping me aim… it was just like things used to be and I realized I still love him. I don’t want to get hurt again, because I don’t want to go back to that life, but it just felt so… right when he had his arms around me.”

None of the guys had anything to say for a while, until HP spoke up. “If you love him, then go for it. But be careful and ready to leave if anything happens. You always have a place here to stay, too.” He announced. “Thanks,” she laughed and hugged him before retiring to her room, which Lynn was sharing, and crashed.