For Always, Forever

After the very last chemo session, Alex was expecting Jack to drive him home so that they could curl up and watch a movie, maybe fall asleep on the couch and make a ton of dumb jokes that no one else would understand. He was wearing pajama pants and a hoodie, he hadn’t showered and he wasn’t even wearing real shoes. So he was surprised, to say the least, when instead of going home, Jack drove him to the high school they had both gone to; the place where All Time Low had been born. Jack squeezed his hand lovingly. It was sort of unbelievable that he’d finished his cancer treatments finally – where had the time gone? He pressed his lips to Jack’s neck lovingly, leaning into his boyfriend’s side as they looked out over the place they had spent four years in hell.

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” said Jack. “D’you know it’s been a year since our first kiss today?”

Alex blushed. “You remembered?” He slid his fingers between Jack’s, grinning like a fool. “So are you going to tell me what we’re doing here?” They were standing on the front steps – the same place they’d been on the day they met. So many things had changed since then. Who would have thought that two best friends could fall in love? Jack had surprised him in so many ways over the past year.

“I remember everything that has to do with you,” Jack told him. “Remember the day we met, you were standing right here and Rian’s dumb jock friends were making fun of your accent? And then I told them off, ‘cause I liked your dumb Good Charlotte t-shirt? That was right here, that was the first day I ever met you. So I wanted to bring you back here ‘cause... uh... I have something I wanted to ask you.” For the first time since Alex had known him, Jack looked truly nervous. “God, don’t look at me like that. You’re making me so nervous.”

“You’re making me very suspicious of your motives,” Alex said.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Ten years of friendship plus a year-long relationship can do that. I’m not very good at being sneaky,” he admitted. “I had to make Matt help me.”

“Is this the part where you get all overly sentimental on me and say something dumb and mushy because it’s our anniversary? ‘Cause it would be really nice if we could hurry the process along... I’m really tired, and Glee is on in an hour.” Alex was almost shocked; normally Jack would’ve put up a huge fight about having to watch what he had affectionally dubbed The Dumbest Show On The Planet. “Hey. Stop gettin’ all serious on me, Bkat. You didn’t even protest having to watch Glee.”

“Maybe I secretly like watching it because you sing along and it’s really cute.”

Alex pouted. “That takes half the fun out of watching it. So are you going to tell me what you’ve been sneaking around for, or should I just assume that you don’t love me anymore and you’re leaving me for Matt?” He had pretended not to notice Jack sneaking around the house, calling their tour manager at weird hours and generally acting like a complete lunatic for the last two weeks. “Seriously, though. What is all this about?”

“If you would stop interrupting me, I would be done already.” Jack exhaled nervously. “I totally had this awesome little speech prepared and everything, but now I’m so nervous I can’t remember it, so I’m just going to come out and say it. Also, Matt told me I have shitty taste in everything, so that’s why I’m empty-handed. Matt sucks and he doesn’t get an opinion anymore. So... um... Yeah. I love you, and you’re my favourite person ever, and this is probably the shittiest proposal in the history of life, so... Will you marry me? ‘Cause that would be kind of, like, awesome.”

“That’s what you’ve been sneaking around for this whole time?” Alex breathed. “You are the stupidest man on the planet sometimes. If you were going to pick anyone to go engagement ring shopping with, Flyzik should have been last on the list. Like, the very last. Your blind, Lebanese grandmother has better taste in jewellery than that asshole does.”

“Does that mean you’re saying yes?”

Alex pretended to consider it for a minute. “Hmmm, I dunno... I’d have to spend the rest of my life with you. Seemed like a good idea when we all thought my days were numbered, but now that I have, like, eternity... Of course I’ll marry you, fuckwit.” He smiled and leaned up to press his lips to Jack’s. “And don’t get any grand ideas about trying to get out of watching Glee with me just ‘cause we’re engaged now. You’re watching it.”

**

Zack rolled over in bed groggily, trying to untangle himself from the sheets without waking Rian. He almost didn’t want to bother trying to find something clean to throw on, but on the other hand... Things had gotten really awkward with Martin since they’d kissed. Soon after that, Zack and Rian had talked things out and were giving the relationship another shot. So, on the morning after the first time he’d had sex with his boyfriend, it would be nice to avoid an awkward conversation with Martin, especially if he was naked. He couldn’t stand the sad way Martin looked at him; he knew what Martin’s opinion on the matter was, but he was in love. It was pointless to try and fight it; he and Rian went together like a moth drawn to a flame.

“Where are you going?” Rian yawned, snuggling up to him. “Stay in bed with me.”

Zack sighed. “I need to take my pills, babe. I’ll only be gone a few minutes, and then you’ll have my full, undivided attention again. Although it’s not like you didn’t get enough of that last night...”

“Doesn’t stop me from wanting more of it. God, you’re gorgeous first thing in the morning; I could get used to this.” Zack found a pair of boxers – it was debatable who they had originally belonged to – and slid them on. “You’re gonna take those off when you come back to bed, right?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Zack said, leaning over to give him a kiss. He had mostly learned to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in his gut when they touched; Rian loved him, they were in a stable relationship. There was nothing to worry about. Rian had even gone with him to the doctor to learn about safer sex after the diagnosis. So why did he still have this lurking feeling of wrongness sometimes? This was what he had wanted. “I love you,” he said.

“Love you too,” Rian murmured. He was already falling back asleep.

Zack padded out into the hallway, praying that Martin wasn’t up yet. Of course, his luck could never be that good; the older man was in the bathroom shaving. He avoided Martin’s gaze, carefully unscrewing the tops of his pill bottles and swallowing the pills with a glass of water. It was horribly awkward; he knew that Martin could see the love bites on his chest and shoulders. He knew that Martin had probably heard them the night before, too... Rian wasn’t exactly what could be considered quiet in bed.

With that tight feeling still in the pit of his stomach, he went back to bed, leaving his boxers on. He felt slightly nauseous, as he always did in the morning. Maybe in a bit, he could convince Rian to take him out for breakfast, and they could avoid the morning-after awkwardness with Martin altogether. Why had he let Martin kiss him that day? Furthermore, why had he kissed back? He cuddled into Rian’s chest, listening to the drummer’s calm, even breaths until he fell back asleep himself. It had been a long night – he deserved a little more sleep. Just because everything felt wrong didn’t mean it actually was. He was probably just freaking out because he’d been so nervous about the sex. Yeah, that’s what he’d keep telling himself until it was true.

As he drifted off, though, he couldn’t help comparing that moment to others he had spent falling asleep in Martin’s room. It had been different then. He’d felt so comfortable, so content... Why did he feel nervous around the one person that meant the world to him? It didn’t make any sense. He made a mental note to ask Jack or Alex about it – after all, they were engaged, so they were the closest thing to a relationship expert he had. Plus, it would be nice to talk about something besides the wedding for once. They’d asked him to be the best man, and he still hadn’t started thinking about what he would say at the reception. He didn’t even have a date; ostensibly, he would go with Rian, but he hadn’t actually asked yet. Not that it mattered either way – Rian was in the wedding party, too, so maybe he should take Martin instead, as a sort of peace offering. But then, what if Rian got offended and felt like he was choosing Martin over him? So maybe he wouldn’t take a date.