Things I Do for Idiots

"You know it," I said grabbing two extra tan and the black papers before jumping on his back. "Can you like, go to the paint guy over there?"

"Yeah," He mumbled grabbing my thighs and lifting me up higher as he walked over.

"Hey, I need to get these two paints," I said handing the guy the paint strips.

"Wow...you're Synyster Gates," The guy said paying no attention to me, I turned my head to Brian and whispered 'He's googly eyeing you Brian!'

Brian laughed and smiled at the guy.

"Yes I am, but can I get these two?" he said taking the paint strips from me, as he handed them to the guy.

"Yes sir!" the guy said "But can I have an autograph?"

I looked at Brian then the guy. "Why?" I asked slowly

"Well, you've never heard of Avenged Sevenfold have you?" Brian asked

"No..." I said "Should I have?"

"The guys and I are in a band," Brian said

"That explains the weird names," I said nodding

"Stage names," He said smiling

He bent down and signed a paper for the guy.

"Gah you're heavy," He mumbled as he leaned over.

"You didn't just call me heavy," I said jumping off his back.

"Well you are, I'm not calling you fat, I swear but leaning over, you tend to get heavy," Brian said as he walked after me.

"Jerk," I mumbled walking away farther from him.

"Paint will be done in thirty minutes sir!" the guy said as Brian ran after me.

"Payge, please I didn't mean it like that," He whined as he tried to grab my hand.

"Sure you didn't," I said holding my stomach, trying to see if I really was fat.

"You're not fat," He said pulling my shirt up and looking at my stomach.

"It's actually really toned, do you work out?" he asked but I slapped his arm.

"Ow," He said smiling

Little Bit Later

"Alright, so we have green sheets, green comforter, green curtains, green whatever the fuck that is and paint, I think we can go," Brian said as we sat in the car going through the bags of bedding.

"That was actually a sham, but whatever the fuck can work just as well," I said smiling over at him, he shrugged as he put the key in the switch and turned it on.

"Yeah, anyway, want to try and learn to drive?" he asked

"Do you have life insurance?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, should I worry you just asked that?" he asked

"No, not unless you think you should," I said cutting my eyes at him.

"You're cute when you are being sarcastic," He said then stopped talking "I can't believe I just said that, jailbait,"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear it," I said smiling

He sighed happily and smiled. "We'll try and drive tomorrow? How about that?" he asked

"Sounds good to me, lets go," I said smiling

We drove home, well he did and about killed us twice, and to think he wants to teach me to drive? Ha!

"Where the hell have you been? It's been three hours since you left!" Matt said walking up

I held my stomach and waddled up to my room, feeling like any moment everything I ate earlier that day could fly up my throat. "What's wrong with her?" Zacky asked walking up

"She can't handle me driving," Brian said laughing

"You drive like a maniac Brian, no wonder," Johnny said walking up eating a slice of pizza, I groaned and walked back down the stairs, passing everyone I walked back to the car, grabbing the bed sheets and comforter I walked back inside whining.