Brothers

Aiden

As soon as the door swung shut I dropped my head onto the desk with a dull thud. I don’t know why he does that to me. As well as it being sort of fundamentally wrong in the eyes of nature, I know he doesn’t actually like me in that way, he’s just doing it to mess with me. Sad thing is he probably thinks it’s all great fun whereas I am actually falling for him. For my brother! How sick and twisted is that? I’m such a freak.

I can see my whole future, as a freak, planned out ahead of me. I’m gonna eventually need glasses cos of all the fucking reading I have to do, and I’ll develop a hunch from bending over books and essays and fucking dissertations and whatever else you have to do to be a full time student. I’ll become even more pale than I already am and my skin will become translucent so I’m not even the sexy kind of pale, I’m just the unhealthy, weird kind of pale. And I’ll probably develop a raspy stutter from not talking to anyone, ever. And then whenever I do try to make a friend, they’ll run screaming and blowing on their rape whistle because I will have, at this point, solidified a reputation for myself as a brother-loving freak. All the while Caleb will probably charm some dim-witted heiress into falling in love with him and be living it up in some palatial mansion somewhere with the rest of the guys, occasionally going, ‘Hey, remember Aiden?’ and the other will go, ‘Huh, yeah, I wonder whatever happened to him?’

I’m rambling. Essentially what I’m trying to say here, is that I am on a one way train to Freakville, population: me (pending).

Which is another reason I’m not telling anyone I’m struggling to stay awake in my classes. I mean, I passed the Leaving Cert past year, when I was still fifteen. I got all the tests off the internet and did them without cheating, and I got full marks. I’m kind of proud of that, but I haven’t even told Alana. I’ll suffer through this year instead. It wouldn’t suck so much if Caleb didn’t insist on being some sort of surrogate parent, just to mix in with the already creepy mixture of brother and sexual tormentor. I could easily bunk off for the year and pass the exams again come June, but there’s no way he’d allow me. Which is just hypocritical if you ask me, but try telling him that.

When I emerged from my room three hours later, I walked up to the sitting room where the guys were still all sprawled out on the couches. The only difference was the game, which had changed to Grand Theft Auto, and the fact that Caleb was at work. The sweet smell of weed was absent from the room, but Rain and Dylan both had opened bottles of cheap generic cider in their hands while the twins battled it out on the PS3.

Wordlessly, I handed them each a three page essay on the theme of cultural context in Bel Canto. They all stared at the essays for a second, then jumped up and pounced on me. I fell back onto one of the couches laughing as they all tumbled on top of me, expressing gratitude by messing up my hair and hurting me physically.

‘Our little genius,’ Rain ruffled my hair as they all struggled to get off me. ‘There’s a plate of spaghetti for you in the microwave.’

I hadn’t realised I was hungry until he’d said it, but as soon as he did my stomach rumbled loudly and I jumped up to heat my dinner. It was a rare but not unusual gesture for somebody to make me dinner; I think every now and again they remember that I’m only sixteen and more often than not exhausted with my workload from school – not to mention theirs as well. I’m really lucky I have Caleb; he works two jobs to make sure I don’t have to get one, just so I can keep up with all my honours classes and homework and extra credit assignments. Sometimes I want to tell him that I could get a job and go to school as often as he does, but then I’d have to explain why and he’d smack me around the head and tell me to get my ass to university.

And then I’d have to move out.

Just as I was tucking into my spaghetti, there was a knock on our front door; our doorbell had stopped working eons ago.

We all glanced at each other, it was after nine o clock and anyway anybody who would visit us was already living here.

‘Parents?’ Dylan asked, and we all shook our heads in turn.

‘Social worker?’ Damien chanced; more head shaking.

‘Landlord?’ Peyton asked, and six sets of eyes widened in response to the question. Surely not. He never came around. The place was a tip. We’d get thrown out.

‘Aiden, get rid of him!’ Jayden hissed, nudging me. ‘Say we’re not here and you’re not allowed to let anyone in when you’re home alone.’

‘Dude, he knows I’m emancipated,’ I said, rolling eyes. ‘That won’t fly.’ But I stood up. I was the only fully sober one there anyway. ‘If you eat my dinner, I will take those essays back,’ I warned severely, before walking out of the sitting room and down the hall to open the front door. I would have left it on the latch as I peeped outside, but that was broken too.

As it was, I opened the door a crack and had a quick sconce at the person on the other side, before opening it fully to let Alana in. I was about to be annoyed at her for causing so much panic, but she was crying, so I stopped myself. I’m not especially good with girls, never having needed to learn, but I’m pretty sure when they cry, annoyance is not the reaction they want.

‘Um,’ I said, closing the door as she stood in the hallway, still pretty much bawling her eyes out. ‘What’s up?’ We’ve been best friends ever since I was skipped to her class two years ago, but I think I can honestly say I’ve never seen her cry. Which was weird.

She didn’t say anything, just continued standing there heaving and spluttering. I gave her a quick hug and told her to wait, then fairly fled back to the living room to get Rain.

‘There’s a girl and she’s crying,’ I said, looking straight at him and playing up the “I’m an innocent little kid and I have no idea how to deal with upsetting situations” thing, even though I’m only a year younger than most the people in the room.

Rain followed me out into the hall and I pointed at Alana.

‘Dude, that’s Alana,’ Rain said, even as he wrapped his arms around her naturally and started stroking her hair.

‘I know,’ I shrugged.

‘You’re a pretty crappy best friend, man.’

I shrugged again. ‘I don’t know how to deal with crying girls. You’re the only straight guy I know.’

‘God, I am. How weird is that?’

This little exchange all happened as Alana spewed liquid from various orifices in her head all over Rain’s shoulder and chest.

‘What’s wrong?’ I eventually asked, impatient to know what had happened.

Alana pulled back from Rain and wiped her face. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red. I had the weirdest urge to hold her hand.

‘Can I...Stay here for a few days?’ she asked hesitantly, sniffing.

I narrowed my eyes. ‘What are you up to?’ Alana can be a scheming little bitch when she wants to be. But I felt bad a moment later when she lifted up her top to expose fresh bruising across her ribs and stomach.

‘Jesus,’ I whispered, reaching out tentatively to touch her skin.

‘Fuck me,’ Rain said in the same hushed tone. ‘Who did that?’

‘M-my stepdad.’ She dropped her shirt. Alana’s mom died three years ago and since then she’s been living with her stepdad. Who’s always been a bit of an arse, but never abusive. Even if it was like Alana to hide something like that from me, there was no old bruising or any other injuries on her, so it had to be the first time.

‘Course you can stay,’ I said, even though I wasn’t sure how the others would feel about it. They’d have to deal. Rain and I led her into the sitting room, where Dylan and Damien were fighting over which game to play next and Jayden was collapsed against Peyton in a way that was weird for twins. Was implied incest just a side-effect of living in this house?

‘Alana’s staying for a bit,’ I said as nonchalantly as I could, as if it were nothing.

‘But she’s a girl,’ Peyton said carefully from the couch.

‘Well done,’ I said sarcastically under my breath so he wouldn’t hear me. ‘I know.’

‘But this is guys’ house,’ Jayden added. He was laying bodily across Peyton with his head resting on his twin’s shoulder. It was weird. It made me uncomfortable.

‘I know that too.’

‘There are seven of us. It’ll be weird.’

‘If Snow White managed I’m sure we will too,’ I said, rolling my eyes. I turned to Alana. ‘Come on, you can sleep in my bed,’ I said, taking her hand and pulling her towards the hall. ‘I’ll take the couch.’

‘Oh no, that’s okay, I’ll take the couch,’ she said, biting her lip. I’ve never seen her so nervous and vulnerable.

‘Don’t be stupid,’ I said. ‘Four of the guys who live here are at least half into girls.’

‘Oh.’ She paused. ‘I could sleep on your floor or something...’

I laughed. ‘Shut up Alana.’

Alana has been over to our place before but, for obvious reasons, we’ve never had to contemplate the size of my bed. As I said, I sleep in the box room, so my bed is really narrow, like really narrow. If I rolled over at night I should fall off, except that my desk is also squeezed into the room, so when I toss or turn, I just hit either the wall on one side of the back of my chair on the other.

‘Sorry,’ I muttered, motioning to the bed.

Alana sniffed. ‘No, no it’s fine, it’s perfect.’ I tried to go get her some pajamas from my wardrobe, which is at the end of the bed, but she suddenly wrapped me in a hug. She’s not taller than me, I’ve got about a three inch height advantage as she stands at 5’5”, but she is stronger, so it was more of a hug attack than anything. ‘Thank you so much Aiden. I’m really sorry.’

Distress may have been a no-go area for me, especially girls-wise, but gratitude I could deal with, even the pathetic kind Alana was dishing out. I hugged her back and said, ‘Don’t worry about it, no thanks necessary.’ I paused. ‘Do you wanna tell me what happened?’

Alana pulled back and sat down on the bed, shifting unconsciously so her back was to the corner. I noticed the defensive position as I pulled some sweatpants and a faded black band tee from my wardrobe for her to sleep in. The sweatpants would be too long for her but shouldn’t be overly loose, and the band tee was so old it was unravelling, but was softened from so many washes that it wouldn’t irritate any of the wounds on her midriff.

There was a knock on my door as Alana finished changing, and Rain stuck his head into the room.

‘You guys okay down here?’ he asked. We nodded. ‘Can I get you anything, Alana?’ Oh great. He liked her. How fucking typical.

Alana shook her head, hugging her knees up to her chest on the bed. ‘I’m okay. Thanks.’

Rain closed the door again and I rolled my eyes at my best friend. ‘You walk in here covered in tears and snot and still one of them fancies you. Now that’s a talent.’

Despite herself, Alana laughed weakly. ‘Yeah, right.’

‘Go on,’ I said, crawling up on the bed beside her. ‘Tell me what happened.’

It turned out Graham had gotten fired that day for sleeping on the job and in typical loser fashion, as with most of the parents of any kids in my school, he tried to drink the problem away, stumbling from bar to bar before being kicked out and sent home.

‘I was watching TV when he came in, and he started shouting at me that it was too loud. He picked the TV up and threw it out the window, and I screamed, and he kept shouting at me to be quiet but I was so scared. And he came over and shoved me off the armchair onto the floor and sat on me and started pulling my hair and my clothes, and...’

I may be little, but I have an astonishing capacity for anger. ‘Jesus, Alana, did he...?’

Alana looked up, my meaning registering on her face. ‘No! No, not that. But he started hitting me and yelling at me to be quiet, but I was screaming even more then. So I poked him in the eyes really hard and legged it over here once he fell over.’

We were quiet for a few minutes. I was contemplating what I’d do to Graham Ferguson if I was Caleb or Rain or somebody who weighed more than 100lbs.

Alana tipped her head back against the wall. ‘Tell me a story,’ she sighed.

I was used to this routine. Any time something happened to Alana that she didn’t want to think about – a bad result in a test, a boy rejecting her, and now her stepfather beating the shit out of her – she asked that I tell her a story. And I’ve gotten good at choosing ones that are of the right magnitude to distract her from her situation. Obviously, this one would have to be pretty big.

‘Once upon a time,’ I started, tipping my head back too so we were both staring at the ceiling, ‘there was a boy who was crushing big time on his older brother.’

Now I was the only one staring at the ceiling. Alana was staring at me.

‘Are you actually admitting it or are you just trying to cheer me up?’ she demanded, sounding more like her old self. At least it was working.

‘I’m actually admitting it.’

‘I’m unprepared. I mean, I’ve thought about this day a lot, but now that it’s finally here I don’t know what to say. Can I watch?’

‘No. There’s nothing to watch. Unless you think you’d get off on Caleb sexually torturing me.’

‘I would.’

‘You still can’t watch.’

‘But I’ve been through an ordeal. It might make me feel better.’

I scowled. ‘Don’t try emotionally blackmailing me, I’m giving you my bed.’

Alana pouted but relented. ‘You’re right. Thank you. I’ll figure something out in a few days, I promise.’

‘You can stay as long as you like. The couch is probably more comfortable than my bed anyway.’

Alana stifled a yawn and then, as they’re contagious, I did too.

‘Are you gonna come to school tomorrow?’ I asked, getting up and stretching.

‘I dunno. I guess. It’s not the end of the world right?’

I shrugged. ‘You should probably go to the police in the morning.’

Alana’s eyes widened. ‘I’m not going to the police! They’ll put me into care.’

‘You could get emancipated.’

‘I don’t have a job.’

‘Neither do I.’

Alana scowled. ‘They think you do. And anyway, you’ve got Caleb.’

‘Just, think about reporting him, okay?’

Caleb

I got home around half eleven, letting myself into our stale smelling house with my key tiredly. I battled the urge to go straight to bed and collapse onto it for the next eighteen hours, but I sucked it up and went into the sitting room. The blue TV screen was glowing eerily in the corner, Damien was passed out on the third couch, Aiden was asleep on the first, and Jayden was sitting on the second, his legs spread with Peyton kneeling between them.

I growled angrily and caught Peyton by the collar just as Jayden finished coming. He stared at me nonchalantly, cum dribbling down his chin.

‘I thought I was clear when I said, “not in front of Aiden”,’ I hissed, glancing down at my brother as I spoke to make sure he was still asleep. His breathing was even and he let out a cute snore, but he was shivering without a blanket.

‘Dude, he’s asleep,’ Jayden said irritably, grabbing Peyton’s hand and pulling him down onto his lap. ‘Chill out.’

‘Because there’s no way you’d wake the dead when you climax,’ I spat. ‘Why is he sleeping up here anyway?’

Peyton shrugged. ‘There’s some chick in his bed.’

I couldn’t help smirking at the scene playing out in my head; Aiden trying to put off the advances of some strong willed girl, terrified of her heterosexuality, and eventually fleeing to the safety of the sitting room.

I dropped onto the couch by his head, careful not to wake him. He was curled up tightly in the foetal position, leaving more than enough room for me. I played with his hair unconsciously as I chatted with the twins.

‘Where are the others?’

‘In bed. Unless Rain is down in Aiden’s room,’ Jayden smirked.

‘What happened, anyway?’ I didn’t really care, but it seemed like they expected me to ask.

‘Alana came over here all freaked out and crying. You know Rain can’t resist a damsel in distress.’

‘Do you know why she was upset?’

‘Something about her stepdad. Aiden said she’s staying here for a while.’

‘So Rain gets to be Prince Charming while we’re the Seven Dwarves?’

‘Well, six, technically, unless Rain is a dwarf and the prince...’

I rolled my eyes and stood up. ‘It’s a wonder you’re failing maths,’ I said sarcastically, and slid my arms under Aiden’s tiny body.

‘Are you going to drop him down the stairs?’ Peyton asked excitedly, sitting forward.

‘What? No, he can sleep with me.’

‘So... We’re not allowed to even touch in front of him, but you’re gonna butt-rape him in his sleep?’

I scowled. ‘You’re sick.’

I carried Aiden out of the room and up the stairs towards my room, then laid him down on the double bed where he immediately went back to his tight foetal position, cuddling into the duvet and trying to get warm. He was still wearing the clothes he’d changed into when he got back from school, a pair of grey sweatpants and a white muscle tee, even though he had no muscles to speak of.

I stripped out of my black work uniform and pulled the covers back off my bed, first moving Aiden so he was on the far side under the blanket and then climbing myself. We don’t have any central heating but I get really hot and sweaty at night so I sleep in my boxers, usually waking up to find the duvet on the floor where I’d kicked it at some point during the night. Aiden is different, he’s almost always freezing.

I tucked the blankets around his little body tightly and he snuggled into them, then I rolled over to face into the room and go to sleep.

Aiden wasn’t having that though. He moved in the bed until he was curled up against my bare back, and I could feel him shivering against me. Sighing, like I could pretend to myself that it was some sort of chore, I twisted back around so I was facing him and wrapped my arms around him, rubbing my hands over his arms and back to try and warm him. Aiden stopped shivering eventually and uncurled his body, but pressed himself closer to me, his legs tangling through mine as he buried his face in my collarbone.

As if I didn’t get hot enough by myself at night.

Finally Aiden stopped his annoying combination of wriggling, snuggling, shivering, and twitching, sighed, and fell into a deeper sleep. I felt my hands sliding slowly down his back.

Bad Caleb.

I slipped my fingers under his muscle tee and gently caressed his skin, it was soft and silky and I felt his back arch slightly in response to my touch. I couldn’t help myself; I smirked and lowered my hands further until they were on his ass outside his sweatpants. I frowned when I felt something prickly under my right hand. Slipping my hand into his back pocket I pulled out a piece of crumpled paper, and I remembered him snatching it off me before in the sitting room. What was it?

I pulled my hands away from his body carefully so as not to wake him, but as soon as I lifted my arms he started moving again. I put them back, and gently tossed the piece of paper off the end of the bed, where it bounced and rolled into the small space between the bed and the wardrobe. I’d look at it tomorrow.