Brothers
Four
Okay, so yeah. Occasionally I will have sex for money. I have two jobs but they’re both part-time, earning minimum wage at one and barely above that at the other. And it’s not like it’s the greatest chore in the world; I enjoy sex. And I’m good at it.
Which is not to say that every now and again I won’t feel a total shit rag and wish that I had the kind of life where going out and getting laid was dubious pleasure rather than the thing that was gonna put Aiden through college, or buy him a new duvet because he was freezing at night.
It is what it is, and I get by. I can say no. I’m young enough and fit enough that I couldn’t really be forced even if it had ever crossed anyone’s mind to try. It’s not much of a life but it’s a living, and I’m not ashamed of it.
Although, that said, it’s not like I broadcast it either. None of the guys know, and I’d sooner die before telling Aiden – he’d automatically assume it was all his fault, which is an unfortunate tendency of his. No amount of telling him that it wasn’t his doing and that it was my choice would convince him, so in all it’s just simpler that he doesn’t know. With the guys, there’d be quiet, unspoken sympathy and piss-taking in equal amounts, which I guess I could handle, I just don’t really want to. Plus, the less they know, the less Aiden knows.
-----------------------------------
Aiden
When I got home from school that day I felt like cutting off my own arm. Alana had been clinging to me nervously all day, which would have been fine if, you know, she’d been a nervous mess over what happened with her stepdad, but no. She was freaking out over Rain. Who, you know, is pretty fucking good-looking or whatever, but still no George Boleyn.
Basically, if I had to hear one more word about the guy, or feel Alana’s nails dig into my skin one more time because his cropped up in the crowd, I was going to kill either her, me, or both.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket as I dumped my book bag in its usual spot at the end of the couch. Wandering over to the fridge, and then wandering back again when I saw it was bare, I fished my phone out of my pocket and flipped it open.
Mt me n twn aftr skl. Otsd Br Rs.
I’m used to my brother’s warped grasp on text speak at this point, so it was easy enough to figure out that he meant “Meet me in town after school. Outside Briar Rose.” That’s not why I groaned and collapsed onto the couch, though purposefully choosing one that Alana was NOT on. I groaned because now, thanks to my brother attending school so infrequently, he doesn’t even remember what time it ends, and I would have to walk all the way back across town to meet him.
‘What’s wrong, Supernerd?’ Damien asked from the floor; his head was by my knee. As ever, he and one of the twins – I couldn’t tell which from the back – were attached by the phalanges to the controllers of the PS3. I think Uncharted 2 was playing out across the screen but, since I’m never allowed to play, I couldn’t be sure.
‘Nothing,’ I mumbled, glancing towards the grimy window – it was still pouring rain outside. But if Caleb wanted to meet me in town rather than come straight home and collapse into bed, then I knew it was probably important. I stood up, grabbed my coat – what there was of it – and headed towards the door.
‘Where are you going?’ Alana demanded before I was even out of the sitting room.
‘I have to meet Caleb in town,’ I muttered, avoiding her gaze. I knew she’d just go ahead and assume that I hadn’t told her because it was some sort of date and that she was going to insist on coming along anyway. In reality, I hadn’t told her because she’d been annoying the shit out of me today.
‘You can’t walk across town in that,’ she said flatly, surprising me.
‘I think you’ll find I can,’ I retorted, putting my hood up as if for emphasis.
‘No you can’t, you’ll get sick. Tell Caleb to get a taxi home, he can’t walk in it either.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘There’s obviously something he needs to do in town.’
‘Would you just shut up?’ the twin – Jayden – muttered from the floor, practically falling over as he got way too into the game. They’d all have arthritis by this time next year.
‘Alana,’ Rain said from his couch, and she blushed. Seriously though, what the hell? She’d never said anything about liking him before yesterday.
‘Yeah?’
‘You’re seventeen right?’ Was he making sure it would all be legal and correct or something? ‘You drive?’ He held up his hand; the car keys were nestled in his palm.
‘Oh! Um. No.’
‘Okay. Don’t worry about it Aiden, I’ll drive you.’
‘Excuse me?’ I surely had not heard correctly.
‘I’ll drive you. Where’s Caleb meeting you?’
Twilight Zone. Obviously. ‘Outside the Briar Rose...’
‘Okay. Let’s go.’
And then, because I suppose magnanimity is contagious, I said, ‘You coming Alana?’ Her death glare of doom almost made up for her hounding me all day.
------------------------------------
When I got out of the car I wandered over to Caleb as Rain and Alana drove away – ‘You wanna go get a coffee or something?’ ‘Um, yeah. Okay.’ ‘If you have time. It’s okay if you don’t...’ ‘No, I have time.’ ‘Okay. So coffee then?’ ‘Yeah, coffee sounds good.’ ‘Okay then. Coffee.’ ‘Yupp. Coffee it is.’ – and he grabbed me in a big hug suddenly, burying his head in my shoulder. Which is not easy to do seeing as he’s like, ten and a half feet taller than me.
I brought my arms up and wrapped them around him, rubbing his back gently. It was weird, but not unheard of; every now and again Caleb will for no reason get into some unidentifiable mood where he becomes really ridiculously affectionate. And not a, you’re-my-brother-but-I’mma-sexually-harass-your-ass-anyway type of affectionate... More like he’s doling out the hugs liberally because he needs someone to be caring towards him.
So, I knew the drill here. I let him hold me for a few minutes, holding him too, then let him lift me off the ground and swing me around so he could laugh it off as some sort of big-brother, I-can-still-pick-you-up-and-throw-you-down-and-don’t-you-forget-it type thing. I landed back on the ground holding my stomach; even though I’d known it was coming, the sudden difference from solid ground to no ground and back again still left me a little nauseous.
Caleb wrapped one arm around my neck tightly and I grimaced, expecting a noogie, but he just ruffled my hair and started pulling me down the street, laughing.
‘Where are we going?’ I demanded, tripping up slightly from my awkward position attached like a parasite to his side.
‘I got paid double time and a half for an extra hour at Virgin today,’ he grinned. I raised my eyebrows; it was not like Caleb to suddenly decide to go on a shopping spree once he got paid. He comes across as a total deadbeat, but he knows how to handle money and can be pretty economical when he has to be. ‘So we’re gonna get you some stuff that you direly need, starting,’ he pointed across the street as we veered left off the footpath, ‘with a proper duvet.’
I became excited. I’ll admit it. The thought of waking up warm like I did this morning, but every morning, and not embarrassingly curled around my brother, was a little overwhelming. We walked through the sliding doors of the Duvet and Pillow Warehouse, which actually looks nothing like a warehouse inside and is, in fact, disturbingly purple.
‘This one?’ I asked, once we had meandered our way through the shop to the duvet section, pointing at a rolled up and plastic-covered one that looked pretty thick.
‘What’s the tog?’ Caleb asked.
‘What?’
‘The tog rating, how warm is it?’
I shrugged. ‘I dunno. I haven’t tried it yet.’
Caleb rolled his eyes and walked over to me, nudging me out of the way so he could look at the label. ‘Four-point-five,’ he snorted, ‘that’s less than the one you have now. You need at least a nine, preferably, like, fifteen.’
So, I’m supposed to be some sort of genius (apparently) but I don’t even know there’s a rating system for duvets? I’ll never survive living on my own. I actually need someone to do the practical things for me.
I shook my hair out of my eyes and traipsed along after Caleb as he checked out one duvet after another. I was paying more attention to him than the shopping; I watched the way he leaned over the labels to read the information, the way he frowned if he didn’t like what he saw, the way he shook his hair out of his eyes – the exact same way that I did. We can both roll our tongues. We can both raise one eyebrow at a time.
‘So,’ I said suddenly, doing something I’d never done before. ‘What’s up?’ I looked at him meaningfully as he turned in surprise; he knew what I meant.
‘Nothing,’ he mumbled, returning his attention to his task, knowing not to bother claiming confusion.
‘I’m not a baby, Caleb,’ I said lightly. ‘You don’t have to keep things from me. What’s going on?’
Caleb turned and smiled at me, then reached out and ruffled my hair again. I must be really fucking cute because all the guys seem to really like doing that.
‘Don’t worry about it, Aiden,’ he said, flicking my chin. ‘It’s no big deal. Here, I think this one is good.’
He grabbed a duvet and hauled it up to the counter to pay.
‘You’ll feel like you’ve woken up in a sauna,’ he said happily as we walked down the street. ‘What else do you need?’
‘Nothing,’ I lied easily. The duvet had cost €135. I don’t like lying to Caleb but that’s almost double what we spend a week on food; I wasn’t about to be selfish with his hard-earned money. His boss at Virgin Megastores is a total douche, Caleb can’t have exactly enjoyed working overtime just so he could afford to buy me pointless extras.
‘Liar. You obviously need a new coat,’ Caleb pointed out; my plastic raincoat was falling apart at the seams. ‘Since you seem to insist on walking home in the rain half the time.’
‘If you had the sense of a goldfish you wouldn’t get into a car with Peyton behind the wheel either,’ I snapped. I do hate being such a Good Boy all the time, but it’s who I am, I guess.
‘A goldfish? I’m at least as sensible as a carp.’ He was feigning hurt, and I couldn’t help laughing.
‘Come on,’ he said, nudging me with his hip so I turned towards Dunnes Stores.
Two hours later I had a duvet, a new coat, new socks and underwear (embarrassing. Really embarrassing), a pair of jeans, hat, gloves, and scarf, and some things for school. I didn’t even want to think about how much it had all cost as we sat into the back seat of the car, Rain and Alana in the front.
‘Jeez, spree much?’ Alana asked, twisting in her seat to look at the bags propped up on the seat between Caleb and I.
‘What’s for dinner tonight, Snow White?’ Caleb asked casually, dropping his head onto the back of the seat and closing his eyes. I knew he was changing the subject so I wouldn’t feel guilty.
Alana snorted. ‘You’ll be lucky,’ she said, facing forwards again.
‘Let’s just order pizza or something,’ Rain suggested from the driver’s seat, glancing at Caleb in the rear-view. Like they were in charge in something.
‘Nah man, I think I’m just gonna crash, I’m exhausted.’ He turned to me. ‘If you wake me when you come in I will sit on your face.’
‘I can sleep on the couch tonight,’ I squeaked, take by surprise with the whole sleeping-together thing. ‘With the duvet...’ I trailed off.
Caleb and Rain both snorted.
‘Enjoy getting rolled up in it and dropped down the stairs then.’ Caleb made a fair point.
I sighed. ‘I’ll try not to wake you.’
‘Or I’ll sit on your face.’
‘Yes. I got that.’
----------------------------------------------
When we got back to the house later Alana dragged me down my room by the wrist, not even offering to help me with all the stuff, and pushed me onto the bed roughly. I landed with a thump and an, ‘Oof!’ while she started pacing across my room, which was actually just two steps one way, turn around, two steps the other way.
Then she stopped, stared at me kind of creepily, and started ranting about Rain. I curled up to take a nap, but she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. ‘Tell me a story.’
So I told her about the day before when Caleb had raped my ear with his tongue in the sitting room.
‘Do you mean to say,’ Alana questioned me flatly, ‘that he does this in front of people?’
I shrugged. ‘Yeah. He does it all the time, except in school.’
Alana let out a strangled scream of frustration. ‘If you’d told me that before I would have spent a lot more time hanging out here!’
‘Gee, thanks,’ I muttered, getting up to put my new things away. I opened the duvet and spread it out on the bed; I guess Alana would be using it first.
‘What are you doing?’
‘What does it look like?’
‘Let’s go watch TV.’
‘We can’t. The PS3 is on 24/7.’
‘Then let’s go watch that.’
I gave her a sceptical, I-know-what-you’re-up-to look. ‘So yesterday you couldn’t even be in the same room as Rain; now you think you might get to see Caleb raping me you suddenly don’t mind anymore?’
‘Uh huh. That’s it exactly,’ Alana admitted shamelessly, hunting me out of my room and back to the sitting room. I dropped into my usual seat beside my brother and Alana sat on the couch next to it, all the better to stare and drool I guess.
After five minutes of watching us closely, and getting the occasional odd glance from Caleb to supplement my glare, she said suddenly, and really loudly, ‘Aiden, you smell really fucking good today.’
I felt my jaw clench up with the effort not to smack her upside the head. ‘Thank. You.’ I said stiffly.
‘Seriously. What shampoo do you use?’
‘It’s called Essence of Shut The Fuck Up,’ I hissed under my breath.
‘Caleb, can you smell that?’ Alana asked him pleasantly. Wary of the way she’d been staring at us, he leaned towards me slowly, still looking at her cautiously, and sniffed at my hair.
He shrugged. ‘Smells like hair.’ And leaned back into the couch again, returning his attention to Dylan and Rain doing god knows what on the PS3.
‘Bet it’s really soft too,’ Alana went on regardless. ‘May I?’ She brought her hand up and touched my hair lightly. ‘Mm. It is. What do you think Caleb?’
I was going to kick her out of the house. I really was. I wanted to move away from her but that would mean moving closer to Caleb, and that was just what she wanted.
‘Alana, you’re creeping me out just a little,’ Caleb responded without taking his eyes off the action on-screen. He grabbed me by the forearm and pulled me towards him, one arm wrapping around my waist. ‘Leave my little brother alone.’
Alana smirked at me and stood up. ‘I’m gonna call for Chinese. Anybody else?’
There was a flurry of requests and Alana went into the kitchen to make the call. As soon as she was gone Caleb’s attention was off the game and on me.
‘Have you been telling tales to Alana?’ he whispered in my ear, nibbling on my helix as his hot breath turned me red all over. ‘Is this what she wanted to see?’ He must really fucking love my ears.
I felt the arm that was around me lift and suddenly his fingers were playing with my hairline, tickling me and causing me to arch my neck slightly. My eyes drifted closed involuntarily as he started to suck on my earlobe, still moving his fingers in and out of my hair slowly. My breathing was getting shallow and my fists clenching when he pulled away, turning back to the TV screen as if nothing had happened. I opened my eyes to see Alana staring at us in shock, then her mouth spread into a huge grin. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so happy.
Of course, then we had to go back to my room to dissect every detail of it. Sometimes, I really wish Alana was a guy.
Caleb
Like I said before... Sometimes I do feel like a total shit rag about the sex-for-money thing. There’s not really any feeling I can imagine worse than feeling used. And yeah, whenever I do get depressed about it, my little brother’s the only one who can pull me out of it.
I try not to think about it too much, but sometimes right before I fall asleep I won’t have the energy to distract myself and I go over all the meaningless fucks and crumpled fifties and hundreds changing hands. At least I’m not cheap. But I think the reason Aiden can bring me back to me is cos I know he loves me. When he’s hugging me and rubbing my back, I know it because I’m his brother and he cares about me and he wants me to be okay; not just because he likes how my body feels in his arms or he thinks he’ll get a discount for showing some affection.
He doesn’t even know how much I couldn’t live without him.
-------------------------------
I was laying in bed later after sexually harassing him for a while, unable to sleep for thoughts of Vienna, and the rest, when I remembered the crumpled piece of paper I’d found in Aiden’s pocket the night before. I sat up and groped on the bedside table for my phone, then crawled to the end of the bed and pushed my arm into the small space, trying not to think of spiders and the other things that probably, most likely, lived in there. Then I sat back on the bed and smoothed out the piece of paper, unlocking my phone so the light shone onto the picture. I felt my eyebrows slowly inch upwards as I took in the lewd drawing, signed by Alana. And felt my dick twitch in my boxers.
That was when the door opened.
Which is not to say that every now and again I won’t feel a total shit rag and wish that I had the kind of life where going out and getting laid was dubious pleasure rather than the thing that was gonna put Aiden through college, or buy him a new duvet because he was freezing at night.
It is what it is, and I get by. I can say no. I’m young enough and fit enough that I couldn’t really be forced even if it had ever crossed anyone’s mind to try. It’s not much of a life but it’s a living, and I’m not ashamed of it.
Although, that said, it’s not like I broadcast it either. None of the guys know, and I’d sooner die before telling Aiden – he’d automatically assume it was all his fault, which is an unfortunate tendency of his. No amount of telling him that it wasn’t his doing and that it was my choice would convince him, so in all it’s just simpler that he doesn’t know. With the guys, there’d be quiet, unspoken sympathy and piss-taking in equal amounts, which I guess I could handle, I just don’t really want to. Plus, the less they know, the less Aiden knows.
-----------------------------------
Aiden
When I got home from school that day I felt like cutting off my own arm. Alana had been clinging to me nervously all day, which would have been fine if, you know, she’d been a nervous mess over what happened with her stepdad, but no. She was freaking out over Rain. Who, you know, is pretty fucking good-looking or whatever, but still no George Boleyn.
Basically, if I had to hear one more word about the guy, or feel Alana’s nails dig into my skin one more time because his cropped up in the crowd, I was going to kill either her, me, or both.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket as I dumped my book bag in its usual spot at the end of the couch. Wandering over to the fridge, and then wandering back again when I saw it was bare, I fished my phone out of my pocket and flipped it open.
Mt me n twn aftr skl. Otsd Br Rs.
I’m used to my brother’s warped grasp on text speak at this point, so it was easy enough to figure out that he meant “Meet me in town after school. Outside Briar Rose.” That’s not why I groaned and collapsed onto the couch, though purposefully choosing one that Alana was NOT on. I groaned because now, thanks to my brother attending school so infrequently, he doesn’t even remember what time it ends, and I would have to walk all the way back across town to meet him.
‘What’s wrong, Supernerd?’ Damien asked from the floor; his head was by my knee. As ever, he and one of the twins – I couldn’t tell which from the back – were attached by the phalanges to the controllers of the PS3. I think Uncharted 2 was playing out across the screen but, since I’m never allowed to play, I couldn’t be sure.
‘Nothing,’ I mumbled, glancing towards the grimy window – it was still pouring rain outside. But if Caleb wanted to meet me in town rather than come straight home and collapse into bed, then I knew it was probably important. I stood up, grabbed my coat – what there was of it – and headed towards the door.
‘Where are you going?’ Alana demanded before I was even out of the sitting room.
‘I have to meet Caleb in town,’ I muttered, avoiding her gaze. I knew she’d just go ahead and assume that I hadn’t told her because it was some sort of date and that she was going to insist on coming along anyway. In reality, I hadn’t told her because she’d been annoying the shit out of me today.
‘You can’t walk across town in that,’ she said flatly, surprising me.
‘I think you’ll find I can,’ I retorted, putting my hood up as if for emphasis.
‘No you can’t, you’ll get sick. Tell Caleb to get a taxi home, he can’t walk in it either.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘There’s obviously something he needs to do in town.’
‘Would you just shut up?’ the twin – Jayden – muttered from the floor, practically falling over as he got way too into the game. They’d all have arthritis by this time next year.
‘Alana,’ Rain said from his couch, and she blushed. Seriously though, what the hell? She’d never said anything about liking him before yesterday.
‘Yeah?’
‘You’re seventeen right?’ Was he making sure it would all be legal and correct or something? ‘You drive?’ He held up his hand; the car keys were nestled in his palm.
‘Oh! Um. No.’
‘Okay. Don’t worry about it Aiden, I’ll drive you.’
‘Excuse me?’ I surely had not heard correctly.
‘I’ll drive you. Where’s Caleb meeting you?’
Twilight Zone. Obviously. ‘Outside the Briar Rose...’
‘Okay. Let’s go.’
And then, because I suppose magnanimity is contagious, I said, ‘You coming Alana?’ Her death glare of doom almost made up for her hounding me all day.
------------------------------------
When I got out of the car I wandered over to Caleb as Rain and Alana drove away – ‘You wanna go get a coffee or something?’ ‘Um, yeah. Okay.’ ‘If you have time. It’s okay if you don’t...’ ‘No, I have time.’ ‘Okay. So coffee then?’ ‘Yeah, coffee sounds good.’ ‘Okay then. Coffee.’ ‘Yupp. Coffee it is.’ – and he grabbed me in a big hug suddenly, burying his head in my shoulder. Which is not easy to do seeing as he’s like, ten and a half feet taller than me.
I brought my arms up and wrapped them around him, rubbing his back gently. It was weird, but not unheard of; every now and again Caleb will for no reason get into some unidentifiable mood where he becomes really ridiculously affectionate. And not a, you’re-my-brother-but-I’mma-sexually-harass-your-ass-anyway type of affectionate... More like he’s doling out the hugs liberally because he needs someone to be caring towards him.
So, I knew the drill here. I let him hold me for a few minutes, holding him too, then let him lift me off the ground and swing me around so he could laugh it off as some sort of big-brother, I-can-still-pick-you-up-and-throw-you-down-and-don’t-you-forget-it type thing. I landed back on the ground holding my stomach; even though I’d known it was coming, the sudden difference from solid ground to no ground and back again still left me a little nauseous.
Caleb wrapped one arm around my neck tightly and I grimaced, expecting a noogie, but he just ruffled my hair and started pulling me down the street, laughing.
‘Where are we going?’ I demanded, tripping up slightly from my awkward position attached like a parasite to his side.
‘I got paid double time and a half for an extra hour at Virgin today,’ he grinned. I raised my eyebrows; it was not like Caleb to suddenly decide to go on a shopping spree once he got paid. He comes across as a total deadbeat, but he knows how to handle money and can be pretty economical when he has to be. ‘So we’re gonna get you some stuff that you direly need, starting,’ he pointed across the street as we veered left off the footpath, ‘with a proper duvet.’
I became excited. I’ll admit it. The thought of waking up warm like I did this morning, but every morning, and not embarrassingly curled around my brother, was a little overwhelming. We walked through the sliding doors of the Duvet and Pillow Warehouse, which actually looks nothing like a warehouse inside and is, in fact, disturbingly purple.
‘This one?’ I asked, once we had meandered our way through the shop to the duvet section, pointing at a rolled up and plastic-covered one that looked pretty thick.
‘What’s the tog?’ Caleb asked.
‘What?’
‘The tog rating, how warm is it?’
I shrugged. ‘I dunno. I haven’t tried it yet.’
Caleb rolled his eyes and walked over to me, nudging me out of the way so he could look at the label. ‘Four-point-five,’ he snorted, ‘that’s less than the one you have now. You need at least a nine, preferably, like, fifteen.’
So, I’m supposed to be some sort of genius (apparently) but I don’t even know there’s a rating system for duvets? I’ll never survive living on my own. I actually need someone to do the practical things for me.
I shook my hair out of my eyes and traipsed along after Caleb as he checked out one duvet after another. I was paying more attention to him than the shopping; I watched the way he leaned over the labels to read the information, the way he frowned if he didn’t like what he saw, the way he shook his hair out of his eyes – the exact same way that I did. We can both roll our tongues. We can both raise one eyebrow at a time.
‘So,’ I said suddenly, doing something I’d never done before. ‘What’s up?’ I looked at him meaningfully as he turned in surprise; he knew what I meant.
‘Nothing,’ he mumbled, returning his attention to his task, knowing not to bother claiming confusion.
‘I’m not a baby, Caleb,’ I said lightly. ‘You don’t have to keep things from me. What’s going on?’
Caleb turned and smiled at me, then reached out and ruffled my hair again. I must be really fucking cute because all the guys seem to really like doing that.
‘Don’t worry about it, Aiden,’ he said, flicking my chin. ‘It’s no big deal. Here, I think this one is good.’
He grabbed a duvet and hauled it up to the counter to pay.
‘You’ll feel like you’ve woken up in a sauna,’ he said happily as we walked down the street. ‘What else do you need?’
‘Nothing,’ I lied easily. The duvet had cost €135. I don’t like lying to Caleb but that’s almost double what we spend a week on food; I wasn’t about to be selfish with his hard-earned money. His boss at Virgin Megastores is a total douche, Caleb can’t have exactly enjoyed working overtime just so he could afford to buy me pointless extras.
‘Liar. You obviously need a new coat,’ Caleb pointed out; my plastic raincoat was falling apart at the seams. ‘Since you seem to insist on walking home in the rain half the time.’
‘If you had the sense of a goldfish you wouldn’t get into a car with Peyton behind the wheel either,’ I snapped. I do hate being such a Good Boy all the time, but it’s who I am, I guess.
‘A goldfish? I’m at least as sensible as a carp.’ He was feigning hurt, and I couldn’t help laughing.
‘Come on,’ he said, nudging me with his hip so I turned towards Dunnes Stores.
Two hours later I had a duvet, a new coat, new socks and underwear (embarrassing. Really embarrassing), a pair of jeans, hat, gloves, and scarf, and some things for school. I didn’t even want to think about how much it had all cost as we sat into the back seat of the car, Rain and Alana in the front.
‘Jeez, spree much?’ Alana asked, twisting in her seat to look at the bags propped up on the seat between Caleb and I.
‘What’s for dinner tonight, Snow White?’ Caleb asked casually, dropping his head onto the back of the seat and closing his eyes. I knew he was changing the subject so I wouldn’t feel guilty.
Alana snorted. ‘You’ll be lucky,’ she said, facing forwards again.
‘Let’s just order pizza or something,’ Rain suggested from the driver’s seat, glancing at Caleb in the rear-view. Like they were in charge in something.
‘Nah man, I think I’m just gonna crash, I’m exhausted.’ He turned to me. ‘If you wake me when you come in I will sit on your face.’
‘I can sleep on the couch tonight,’ I squeaked, take by surprise with the whole sleeping-together thing. ‘With the duvet...’ I trailed off.
Caleb and Rain both snorted.
‘Enjoy getting rolled up in it and dropped down the stairs then.’ Caleb made a fair point.
I sighed. ‘I’ll try not to wake you.’
‘Or I’ll sit on your face.’
‘Yes. I got that.’
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When we got back to the house later Alana dragged me down my room by the wrist, not even offering to help me with all the stuff, and pushed me onto the bed roughly. I landed with a thump and an, ‘Oof!’ while she started pacing across my room, which was actually just two steps one way, turn around, two steps the other way.
Then she stopped, stared at me kind of creepily, and started ranting about Rain. I curled up to take a nap, but she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. ‘Tell me a story.’
So I told her about the day before when Caleb had raped my ear with his tongue in the sitting room.
‘Do you mean to say,’ Alana questioned me flatly, ‘that he does this in front of people?’
I shrugged. ‘Yeah. He does it all the time, except in school.’
Alana let out a strangled scream of frustration. ‘If you’d told me that before I would have spent a lot more time hanging out here!’
‘Gee, thanks,’ I muttered, getting up to put my new things away. I opened the duvet and spread it out on the bed; I guess Alana would be using it first.
‘What are you doing?’
‘What does it look like?’
‘Let’s go watch TV.’
‘We can’t. The PS3 is on 24/7.’
‘Then let’s go watch that.’
I gave her a sceptical, I-know-what-you’re-up-to look. ‘So yesterday you couldn’t even be in the same room as Rain; now you think you might get to see Caleb raping me you suddenly don’t mind anymore?’
‘Uh huh. That’s it exactly,’ Alana admitted shamelessly, hunting me out of my room and back to the sitting room. I dropped into my usual seat beside my brother and Alana sat on the couch next to it, all the better to stare and drool I guess.
After five minutes of watching us closely, and getting the occasional odd glance from Caleb to supplement my glare, she said suddenly, and really loudly, ‘Aiden, you smell really fucking good today.’
I felt my jaw clench up with the effort not to smack her upside the head. ‘Thank. You.’ I said stiffly.
‘Seriously. What shampoo do you use?’
‘It’s called Essence of Shut The Fuck Up,’ I hissed under my breath.
‘Caleb, can you smell that?’ Alana asked him pleasantly. Wary of the way she’d been staring at us, he leaned towards me slowly, still looking at her cautiously, and sniffed at my hair.
He shrugged. ‘Smells like hair.’ And leaned back into the couch again, returning his attention to Dylan and Rain doing god knows what on the PS3.
‘Bet it’s really soft too,’ Alana went on regardless. ‘May I?’ She brought her hand up and touched my hair lightly. ‘Mm. It is. What do you think Caleb?’
I was going to kick her out of the house. I really was. I wanted to move away from her but that would mean moving closer to Caleb, and that was just what she wanted.
‘Alana, you’re creeping me out just a little,’ Caleb responded without taking his eyes off the action on-screen. He grabbed me by the forearm and pulled me towards him, one arm wrapping around my waist. ‘Leave my little brother alone.’
Alana smirked at me and stood up. ‘I’m gonna call for Chinese. Anybody else?’
There was a flurry of requests and Alana went into the kitchen to make the call. As soon as she was gone Caleb’s attention was off the game and on me.
‘Have you been telling tales to Alana?’ he whispered in my ear, nibbling on my helix as his hot breath turned me red all over. ‘Is this what she wanted to see?’ He must really fucking love my ears.
I felt the arm that was around me lift and suddenly his fingers were playing with my hairline, tickling me and causing me to arch my neck slightly. My eyes drifted closed involuntarily as he started to suck on my earlobe, still moving his fingers in and out of my hair slowly. My breathing was getting shallow and my fists clenching when he pulled away, turning back to the TV screen as if nothing had happened. I opened my eyes to see Alana staring at us in shock, then her mouth spread into a huge grin. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so happy.
Of course, then we had to go back to my room to dissect every detail of it. Sometimes, I really wish Alana was a guy.
Caleb
Like I said before... Sometimes I do feel like a total shit rag about the sex-for-money thing. There’s not really any feeling I can imagine worse than feeling used. And yeah, whenever I do get depressed about it, my little brother’s the only one who can pull me out of it.
I try not to think about it too much, but sometimes right before I fall asleep I won’t have the energy to distract myself and I go over all the meaningless fucks and crumpled fifties and hundreds changing hands. At least I’m not cheap. But I think the reason Aiden can bring me back to me is cos I know he loves me. When he’s hugging me and rubbing my back, I know it because I’m his brother and he cares about me and he wants me to be okay; not just because he likes how my body feels in his arms or he thinks he’ll get a discount for showing some affection.
He doesn’t even know how much I couldn’t live without him.
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I was laying in bed later after sexually harassing him for a while, unable to sleep for thoughts of Vienna, and the rest, when I remembered the crumpled piece of paper I’d found in Aiden’s pocket the night before. I sat up and groped on the bedside table for my phone, then crawled to the end of the bed and pushed my arm into the small space, trying not to think of spiders and the other things that probably, most likely, lived in there. Then I sat back on the bed and smoothed out the piece of paper, unlocking my phone so the light shone onto the picture. I felt my eyebrows slowly inch upwards as I took in the lewd drawing, signed by Alana. And felt my dick twitch in my boxers.
That was when the door opened.