Draco's Diary

She's gone.
She's been sent to Azkaban.
I haven't any idea what happened. I wasn't even there, at the hospital when it happened.
All I do know is that my father has taken my loves hospital room at St. Mungo's. In a medical induced coma to dull out the pain.
The healers say that they haven't seen a case where a spell could do so much damage. They say they haven't seen or heard of a Crucio spell cast so strong until now.
Rayline. I've admitted it already. She's my love. And I cannot deny that, I do not have any sort of regret toward her. Nor will I ever. I love her.
And I know her.
She wouldn't do something like this without a reason. Something set her off. He must have said something to her. She wouldn't have risked her arrest over something that would ultimately mean nothing to her in the long run.
She would have wanted a much bigger kill.
Now, this girl, this woman; has a sense of morals. No matter how convoluted they may be. It's never crossed my mind that one day she would snap. I knew she was hiding secrets, too many. It was so horrid of me to never have realized that.
I spoke to my mother earlier. It was difficult for me to get her to stop crying to tell me what happened. all she could say was, "Her eyes. Her eyes. S-she smiled, Draco!"
And honestly I couldn't make any sense of it.
The other Death Eaters who were there went into hiding. Probably thinking that when she would inevitably get out of Azkaban she would come after them like she did Lucius.
Ridiculous.
But, is it inevitable? Will she get out of Azkaban?

Sincerely, Draco Malfoy.

These thoughts raced through my mind unceasingly. I couldn't bare the proposal of her never seeing the light of day.
I didn't know how to help, no one would tell me anything.
I was forced tot he conclusion of taking her place in the Dark Lords eyes. How I would accomplish that, I did not know.
I didn't know whether to write her a letter because I wasn't sure if she would be there when it arrived.
Many breakouts have occurred at Azkaban, compliments of the Dark Lord, needing his most prized Death Eaters back in the field.
That bloody Fudge is doing a wonderful job at not acknowledging it whatsoever. He might as well be an accomplice for the Dark Lord with all the good work he's doing in helping him.

I sat in my room, trying to stop thinking for five minutes. A headache has erupted in the back of my skull. Sharp shooting pains coursing through my brain.
I looked outside, the sky a light blue, black trees outline the scene outside my window.
I think back to when Rayline was here, smoke in the air, her smiling as she talked; My heart raced as I thought back to when we kissed.
Damn it!
How she makes me feel like this when she's not even present, baffles me.

How I wanted to kiss her again, feel her touch on my neck, my shoulders, my stomach, I shuddered at the thought.
And I realized at that moment how different we could be.
How little I knew about her.
How much I wanted to know about her.
But I don't know if I'll ever get the chance.
My head thumped into the back of my skull, the rhythm heavier than my heartbeat. It felt as if my head were going to split.
I clutched my head, slumped over the bed, the pulsing got worse and worse until I let out the beginning of a scream.

"Draco... Draco. Don't try to save me. Don't. They won't come for me, I'll save myself."
Shadows became visible, I saw a hunched over figure whispering those words to no one. But it was whispering to me. She was whispering to me.
Rayline.
I heard maniacal cackling in the background, someone screaming in the next cell. I was in Azkaban.
The feeling of hopelessness was like an air that I didn't have to breathe, but knew it was there. I could see the effects of it. But I was unable to feel it.
I heard her breathing lightly and quickly, like she was practicing something, like a breathing technique. Something that looked something completely unrelated to wizardry. I wondered what she was up to, what things she was capable of. Things that I've never asked her about.
I noticed she didn't look sallow and pale like the others, her lips were still full and pink. Her hair was still as red as the blood that coursed through her veins; Her clothes tattered and worn. The lurid wear of a prisoner. She had her hair around her face, her beautiful face that never lost it's glow, even in this depressing setting. but one thing I did see was a fake look of despair.
She knew that she was safe, but she needed to make it look as if she were suffering just as much as the other prisoners. She was fine. This was her, she was showing me she was alright.
I don't know how she could have done it, but she had. She had sent me a vision of her surviving. Of how she was. It was more than a letter could ever portray.
I smiled, and began to walk forward to get a better look at her. But something had crossed my path before I could take my first step.
A black cloaked figure blocked my vision, and went towards her cell.
I roared in anger and jumped forward, only to land on the plush carpet in my room.

Rayline.
My love.
My heart and soul.
Was alright, and that was all I needed to survive.
I lasted three weeks on that alone.

Only to have my hopes shattered with one sentence uttered by my mother.

"She's gone, she's escaped. No one knows where she went, Draco. She's escaped from Azkaban."

I fell backwards, scrambling away from my mother, my horror-stricken mother.
I knew that the only thing she was worried about was that Rayline would come back and cause some different kind of harm to her family.

But that's not at all what would happen.

In all honesty, I didn't know what would happen.

I didn't know if I would ever see her again, I didn't know whether she would go rogue and try and kill us all, I didn't know if she was going to join this side ultimately or go to the light side.

I was so confused, all I wanted at this moment was another one of those skull-splitting headaches. Just so I would have the chance of seeing her once more.
See where she was. Where she might be going.
Anything.

Now my mind was scattered, jumping around to random scenarios that most likely would never even happen.
And I needed to stop it, I needed to man up.

I'll man up tomorrow.

Today, I will be helpless, I will let my emotions get the best of me.
I went into the bathroom, the medicine cabinet and took out a random bottle of pills.
I took five of them, not knowing what they would do, but I knew they wouldn't kill me.
All I wanted was to be incapacitated for the rest of the day.
I laid down on my bed, covered myself with the sheets and let myself be covered with darkness. The air became heavier under the sheets but I stayed there, waiting for the drugs to kick in.

The last thing I thought of before I fell unconscious was Rayline's eyes.

Nothing was seen before my eyes, nothing but Rayline's eyes.
Her beautiful eyes.

I woke up the next day with tears falling from my eyes.

I do believe that something could be done about this. Man up, remember? What are you going to do about that? I'd get on that, soon. Because this isn't a very good look for you. what if Rayline saw you like this? What would she say? You need to do something, be proactive. She's not just going to show up on your doorstep. Don't try and find her, it'll be useless and it'll get you in a mess that you won't be able to get out of. Trust me, She knows what she's doing. And if she doesn't, then she's finding out right now. Rayline is clever, much too clever for her own good. And you need to realize that moping around, taking drugs, and crying like a baby isn't going to do anything.

My conscious was trying to tell me something, it was telling me to listen, and listen I did.
Nothing good would come out of me acting like this.
It's pitiful.

I fixed myself, and called Tommy Vega. A trainer.
I'd need something productive to keep my mind off of this.

He showed up an hour later.

And that began filling the time, time that I would've spent being stupid. I learned new spells, fighting techniques, mental blocking.
On my downtime, I remembered things she taught me.
The spells she created and taught me, the potions, everything she once taught me.

And then I realized one day, she never took her things.
They must still be in her room! No one has entered it since she disappeared.
I ran to her room and slammed the door open

Empty

I checked the date, the train for Hogwarts was going to be here tomorrow.
They must've taken her things magically back to the school.
I slumped myself against the door, defeated.
I knew she wouldn't be in school.
And I knew I would be blamed for that.
I dreaded tomorrow.

I slept in her bed that night, it still smelt like her perfume.