Draco's Diary

For the next few weeks, I found myself becoming distant.
Robotic, It seemed.
I refused to let myself get too close to these people.

My Friends...

No, not my friends, people who would get in the way. Get Hurt.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. My mind has been filled with disconnected thoughts, plans, ideas...It was suffocating.
On rare occasions, I found myself clutching my head and gasping for air that would not help.

Nothing seems to help anymore, not even meditating, which used to be my gateway to relaxation. Now it seems that everything that used to be comforting, is now hopeless.
I'm hopeless.

Stop this, Now!

My head screamed.I was losing hope in myself, in my mission.

This will work, you have to believe that! You're acting like you have no idea of what to do! Don't you dare give up! Don't forget in what you came here to do.

I sighed and relaxed my position. I was right, I couldn't forget the importance of what I came here to do. I'd need to stop acting like a silly teenage girl and get over it, I've only known them for a week, And surely they could not care about me as much as I thought they did, enough to worry.

Yes, realization washed over me in comforting waves. I knew what to do.

I ran over to the bottom of my bed, where my unopened trunks lay.I wrenched open the top with new found hope,
Determination.
I pulled out one out, Protective Spells, by Worbeka Stoll. 1867
I flipped through the pages and hastily wrote down the ones i would need.
Tonight I was going to ensue on the first phase of my mission.

I left the Gryffindor common room that night with a plan, as uncomfortable as it was going to be, I was going to talk to Dumbledore.

I had an idea of where his office was, no doubt it would be obvious.
And it was, two gargoyles were perched on gray pedestals beside a portion of blank wall.
"Password" one of the gargoyles spat, I'd no idea what the password was, so I just went with the obvious.
"I need to speak with Professor Dumbledore, it's urgent"
They sighed gruffly and a large, wall-to-floor door appeared, it opened silently.
I walked inside as it shut behind me, an eagle brought me up to another door, I knocked.
"Come in"
I did as I was told and pulled the door open, Dumbledore was sitting behind a large, grandiose desk, blue eyes twinkling knowingly behind his half-moon spectacles. He smiled,"Have a seat, Ms. Dormir."
I didn't smile as I sat down, but did as I was told, nonetheless.
"Licorice Snaps?" He offered a small bowl of the vile candy. I fought against scowling at the bowl, "No thank you."
He nodded and set the bowl down, folding his hands.
Dumbledore knew a lot of things, but he did not know of me, I was sure of that. I'm sure he doubted i was just an ordinary student, but still, I was not on his radar.

"Professor, I'd like to speak with you about something, something important."
He nodded, intrigued.
I sighed, not wanting to do this. It was necessary, I couldn't have certain things in my way if I were to complete my mission successfully. Things that Dumbledore could take care of.

"Professor, there are things about myself that I cannot tell you, because that would put you, and myself in danger. I am here to help you, and your students-" I made that part vague and insignificant, I doubted he would need to know that I'd be helping the entire wizarding community as well. "- And being able to help you is going to be difficult if I spend half of my time in detention, won't it? I pray that you do not think I'm making this up to muck about around the grounds and not get into trouble for it."
He nodded once more, still speculative.
Damn, i was going to have to explain.
I sighed, "Professor, in the 1970's, I'm sure you remember the rise of the Death Eater's. Do you remember which name's stuck out the most?"
He froze,eyes wide,"The Dormir's, but how-"
I cut him off, "My parents. yes. And now they're dead. There is a prophecy, that of which I'm sure you know of. But there is another, Albus. Hidden beneath the more gratifying one of Mr.Potter, Considering my presence of being here, I'm sure you can figure out who it belongs to. I've already spoken too much of what I'm not supposed to, I do not seek your help, nor your protection. Only your understanding..."

I watched him soak up the information, his eyes still twinkling. "Professor, I need to be able to walk the grounds, without Filch on my back, for I do not wish to harm any of the faculty. I can handle the Prefects and such, but I need to know that I have your cooperation if I'm sent here by a staff member concerning my 'Delinquencies'.

He was nodding, eyes closed. "Ms. Dormir, you have my word. I will not ask you to convey information to me, You have the cooperation of Hogwarts."
I smiled in gratification and stood, "Professor, I thank you."
I walked out of his office smiling, glad I would be able to go undetected without a Dillusionment charm.
My high only increased when I realized no one was in the common room, everyone asleep.

I settled myself onto the couch beside the fire. The warm caressing my cheeks, arms, neck, Oh how I was content. I didn't notice I had fallen asleep next to the spitting fire until a dream began to play behind my eyelids.

A scream of agony emitted from a small girl on a shiny marble floor, she was writhing in pain, but this was the only thing she let slip, now she was still. The Cruciatus curse still set upon her, she showed no reaction, not even letting a tear slip from her wild black eyes. The girl was about nine now, in baggy jeans and a long sleeved white shirt. Her father stood before her, grimacing at her lack of response. "What is wrong with you girl?" He whispered, confusion etched in his features. No one came to stop her torture, this was training. Not discipline. She had no need for discipline, she always did as she was told, in the most graceful of ways. Her mother, long black hair resting on her shoulders, sat watching this interaction. Her daughter was becoming, in her eyes, perfect. A perfect warrior, indestructible, the perfect Death Eater. The curse was removed, and the girl stood, straightening her shirt. She looked at her father, then her mother, and nodded. They both smiled at their 'perfect' daughter and nodded to let her go to her room. "Wait, Rayline. We have someone we'd like you to meet." Her mother's tuneful voice called to her. The girl turned around and walked towards them, awaiting their guest. A black shadow appeared in the living room, gliding forwards. The girls eyes widened. She knew who this was, and she knew what happened when he showed. "Hold her down." The shadow demanded. The girl struggled against her parents arms, she made no sound as the burning cuts were being made into the back of her neck. She could feel from the inside out, the shape it was becoming. She wasn't afraid, nor ashamed. The girl was angry, seething. She would've waited, she would've became stronger. Now they put this upon her without her consent! Fury bubbled up inside her, her onyx eyes smoldered with the fire behind them. When they let her up she ran, ran outside, to the forest. She ran to a large tree and screamed, the tree buckled and snapped, falling onto the black ground beneath it. What a wonderful thing, she thought. How magnificent, she ran around, waving her arms, making trees fall one after the other with the force of her anger, the force of her magic, her powerful, horrible magic...