Half Truths.

The buzzing of Kennedy’s phone against the bedside table woke me up.

“‘Hi! It’s Kennedy. Sorry I missed your call! Leave your name and number and I’ll call you back when I can. Thanks!’ Kenny? It’s John. This is like my fourth call. Seriously. Call me back.”

Memories of last night came rushing back. I groaned. I did not want to face today. I shook Kennedy gently. “Hey... It’s morning.”

He turned over and gave a sleepy smile. “Morning.” He kissed my cheek a little sloppily. I didn’t mind. Well... I did and I didn’t.

Either way, I couldn’t help but smile back. “Hey.” My voice was soft. He cuddled into me and I ran my fingers through his hair. It was nice like this.

Kennedy’s phone started buzzing again. He sighed and reached over to grab it. “Hello?” By the look on his face, I guessed it was John. “Yeah... sorry, I forgot. I was hanging out with Garrett. Yeah, I ended up sleeping over.” His face looked panic-stricken as he lied. “We were watching movies and stuff so we were up late. Yeah, I’m about to head home in a bit. I’ll see you later.” He hung up and sighed once more.

“Everything... okay?” I propped myself up on my elbow and titled my head.

He gave a hesitant nod, “If we never speak of what happened last night, yeah. I mean... it’s not going to happen again. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...”

I silenced him by hugging him tightly. “It’s okay. I understand.” And I really did, John was confusing as fuck anyways. “Just know... that we are friends. And you can always talk to me or anything.”

He gave a half smile, “Yeah... thanks Garrett.” He climbed out of bed and got dressed. “I’ll text you later okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Now go make up with the pretty boy.”

Kennedy shook his head and laughed. “Bye G.”

“Later.” I was alone again. I shrugged my shoulders for no reason in particular and I sank back under the blankets. I guess I could sleep in.

I woke up around late afternoon to a neon-pink post-it on my window.

So you like to sleep in on weekends?

I yawned and stuck it with the others. I pulled a pen out from my desk drawer and wrote a reply. Yeah, so? I opened my window and climbed out. I was wearing boxers and the afternoon was hot enough so I didn’t really give two shits.

Just after I stuck the orange paper onto my neighbour’s window I heard a call from down below. “Garrett!” I turned to find the owner of the window smiling and waving up at me. “Not sneaking into my room to steal my underwear, now, are you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Ew, why would I do that? That’s disgusting, John.”

“Says the boy who’s crouching outside my bedroom window in his boxers. I think the world would love to know you wear Ninja Turtles boxers.” John chuckled and walked over to the vines (I noticed them the other day and figured that was his climbing mechanism) by my side of the house. “Go put some clothes on, kiddo.”

I scoffed but went back in my room anyways and pulled some clothes on. I wasn’t dressing to impress. Once I was seated against the wall between his window and mine, I noticed he lit a cigarette and was holding an unlit one out for me. “No thanks.”

He shrugged and put it back in his packet. “‘Yeah, so?’” He quoted. “Very articulate, Mr. Nickelsen.”

“Says the one who probably stares at me through my barely opaque curtains.”

“I do not stare. I merely pass by.”

“What about the front door?”

He shrugged. “How is staring even relevant to that?”

I chuckled a bit. “I just thought I’d bring it up.”

“You’re a strange kid, y’know.” He shook his head. “But I like you. You’re pretty cool.”

“Thanks?” I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to take that as a compliment or not.

John just laughed and took a drag on his cigarette. As I watched him, he seemed to be at ease. I guessed everything went all right with Kennedy. Well, I hoped so.

By the time December rolled around, the only thing that really changed was the weather. It was a lot cooler. I went out with Pat a couple days ago to get a new jacket and stored John’s “gift” in my closet.

“How come you don’t just wear the one John gave you? I’ve seen you wear it a couple times.” Pat had questioned.

“Eh, it’s just easier I guess.”

“....Er... okay. Oh! I get it. Leather’s not really your thing, is it?”

“..Yeah, it’s not.” So we got a plaid, “I-look-like-a-lumberjack” jacket. But it was warm and comfortable, and kept my mind off of John, so it was perfect.

To say I was jealous when we hung around John and Kennedy was an understatement. More than once, I just got up and left when they were being really lovey-dovey. Kennedy would text me later, apologizing, but I brushed it off. It wasn’t his fault anyways, I just had to learn to keep better control of my emotions. I didn’t expect any apology from John either; we didn’t really talk anymore, not that we really even talked a lot in the first place.

He still left post-its on my window though. It got to a point where I would get one every day. Sometimes they would be questions, random comments, or just something he saw on a billboard in the city. I didn’t always reply but he didn’t seem to care.

No one ever learned about what happened between Kennedy and I. We never cared to tell anyone. Time went on.

“Hey, G?”

“Yeah, P?” I was typing up my homework on my laptop while Pat laid on my bed. He was looking over at the wall of post-its, probably looking to see if there were any new ones.. Once he asked who they were from, and I had said that John was weird; he seemed to understand from that.

“We’re best friends, right?” Where was this coming from?

I stopped typing. “Yeah... what’s on your mind, Pattycakes?”

He didn’t look at me. “I was just thinking... best friends tell each other everything, right?”

Please don’t tell me he found out about that time with Kennedy. “Yeah...”

“So... if you liked someone, you would tell me?” That was it?

I sighed in relief, a small grin playing on my lips. “I would.”

Pat stared at me curiously. “What’s with that smile? You DO like someone, don’tchaaa? Awwe, c’mon G!”

“Wouldn’t it be awkward? What if I liked you?”

He shifted awkwardly and maybe even flushed a bit. “Not really... and if you did, that’d be cool, I guess. I mean, we already kiss and stuff, G.”

“We do not kiss. You kiss me, sir.” I got up and sat down at the edge of the bed.

He shrugged, uncaring. “So, will you tell me?”

“Can you keep a secret?”

He rolled his eyes, “Really, G? You’re gonna pull that one on me?” He laughed and smacked my arm playfully. “Of course!”

“Well, it’s not you... sorry, P.”

“Obviously. You’re just in it for the sex.”

“Yeah, man. The sex that we don’t have.” We laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. So tell me!” He demanded impatiently.

I motioned towards the wall of neon coloured paper. “You already know, don’t you?”

Pat smiled slyly and leaned up to ruffle my hair. “I knew it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so butthurt when it comes to him.”

I scoffed. “I do not get butthurt, Pat. Only you do.”

“Is that why you glare at Kenny?”

I rolled my eyes. “I do not glare at Kennedy.” And I didn’t... purposely. It was kind of a mixture at the idea of them being a couple, not Kennedy himself. Kennedy was... nice.

"Riiight," Pat simply rolled his eyes, "I'm not blind, y'know."

"Alright, okay. Sure." And we left it at that.

I was standing in the park, the cool breeze brushing past me. Kennedy had texted me a few ten minutes ago, asking if we could hang out. He said him and John had had a fight, or well disagreement, to put it lightly. I hugged my jacket tighter to me. What if Kennedy had told John? John would tell Pat, wouldn’t he? So then John would hate him.. them, and so would Pat. Oddly, enough, I didn’t really care if John found out; I cared more about Pat’s reaction. He was my first actual friend here, he was my best friend, and even if these few short months, I didn’t want to lose that.

“Hey!” Kennedy panted as he ran up to me. I gave him a small nod of acknowledgement. “Sorry about calling you out... I mean, I just... wanted someone to talk to.” I nodded again. “He doesn’t know... he just... suspects... says I look at you too much.”

I gave him an odd look but didn’t say anything.

He sighed, “I really am sorry, Garrett.”

I shrugged.

“Oh, dammit all.” And he hugged me. He didn’t talk, although that was his reasoning for calling me out; instead he kissed me and kissed me and kissed me.

I felt guilty.

“Kennedy, stop.” I pushed him away gently. “We... really shouldn’t.” Irony. I didn’t mind last time.

He frowned. “You didn’t mind last time.”

I cringed. Read my thoughts, huh? “Sorry... it’s... too risky.” I was making excuses.

“I-I’ll break up with John.” He blurted out.

“You love him...” He bit his lip and my eyes widened in realization. He wanted us both. “Kenny...”

“I’m... sorry, okay?” He wouldn’t even look at me. “I’m selfish. I already know that.” Lonely. He was lonely. He felt that no one ever really truly loved him. In a way, I didn’t understand, but at the same time I did. It felt like he didn’t belong.

I hesitantly held his hand. He looked up. “Hey, let’s just go to Starbucks or something.”

He gave me a tiny smile. “Thanks, Garrett.”

I shrugged and smiled back. “What are friends for?”