Change of Heart

My throat closed up and I just barely managed to choke out a, "What?!"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed. I mean, he liked you last time you came here too, but when you went away, he started focusing on other girls. He thought you were just another crush until you came back and he found out that he still liked you."

Frantically, I searched Soda's face for some sort of a joke, a punchline, a 'gotcha!' But none of that was present. He was dead serious. "How is this possible?" I mumbled. "I didn't get that at all."

"Just because he didn't come straight onto you doesn't mean he wasn't interested. Darry's the kind of guy who takes things slowly, so he was just waiting for the right time when he felt comfortable to ask you out."

"And now he can't because I'm going out with Dally," I sighed. Inside my head, it felt like there were small elves that were jackhammering against the inner lining. "God, why didn't I know this earlier?"

"Why? You like him too?"

"I don't know." As I kept talking, everything got more and more confusing. I did like Dally, of course, but knowing that Darry liked me too made me feel differently. Like...maybe questioning my decisions or something? Ugh...I was so mixed up.

"You look like your brain's going to explode," Soda informed me, an actually worried look on his face.

"It might," I replied honestly. I sat down on the couch in the living room and breathed deeply for a couple of seconds.

"God, I didn't know that you'd have an aneurysm over this."

"I'm not. I'm just...I don't know what to think."

It made sense. Why Darry seemed upset when I told him that I liked Dally, how he didn't want to go with me to bail out Dally, how he wasn't around so much anymore.

The door flew open right then, and Dally walked in. "Oh, you're up," he announced, walking over to me and sitting to my left, throwing his arm around my shoulders.

Soda looked from Dally to me and back before escaping into his room, muttering about having to save one of the shirts hanging in his closet because it was going to be set on fire by pigeons. At least, that was what I thought I heard...

"So how are you doin' today?"

"Fine," I replied, smiling slightly. I leaned against his shoulder. "You?"

"Okay." There was a moment of silence before Dally whispered, "Are you going to come to Buck's party with me tonight?"

"No." I felt his arm stiffen around me.

"You said you would."

"No, I said that I would eventually, not tonight. We'll still go though. I don't back out of my word." I kissed him quickly on the lips, feeling my heart pound in my chest, and got to my feet.

"I'll believe you for now, but you better not be shitting me." Dally had a playful look in his eyes. He took my hands and pulled me back onto the couch. Then, his hand on the back of my head to lead me closer, he pulled me toward him, and our lips connected. He kissed me roughly, which I wasn't completely comfortable with, but I wasn't uncomfortable enough to pull away. Then, after a couple minutes, he started to pull me on top of him.

I didn't realize what was going on around me until the door swung open forcefully. The sound of Pony's laugh was evident, as well as Sammy saying, "Um...ew..."

Blushing, I turned around to face them. "Sorry," I mumbled before actually bringing up my eyes to see them.

Darry was standing there, a slightly helpless look on his face, though there was an edge of anger on it too. Pony and Sammy were staring at me with a mixture of horror and surprise.

When I realized that not only had Pony and Sammy seen that, Darry had too, my face blanched and the tips of my fingers ran cold. I didn't want to hurt Darry, but I guess that was what what happening.

Instead of addressing anything, Darry kept walking without making eye contact with me. My heart sank.

"Ouch," Sammy mumbled. Something in her eyes just made me feel even worse.

"I think I better go," Dally expressed. He kissed me quickly before escaping out the door. Lucky...

"That was really bad timing," Pony informed, giving me a slightly pained look.

"I know, but nothing serious was going to happen."

"It looked like it," Sammy rolled her eyes. Yeah...couldn't really argue with that.

I just sort of looked down at the ground, feeling more and more guilty. It wasn't possible to feel any worse than I did.

"It sucks how he just told us that he liked you and we assured him that you'd never go for Dally..." Sammy continued, giving me a look that could kill.

Okay, thanks for making me a liar. I definitely felt even guiltier... After all, I didn't want Darry to find out like that. I didn't want anyone to find out like that. But I guess it was too late now, too late to turn back.