Change of Heart

When I woke up, the sun was shining brightly through the window, causing me to blink rapidly, trying to keep the light from getting in my eyes.

"Are you finally awake?" someone mumbled.

"Shut the blind," I ordered sleepily. The person got up and obliged, and then I could finally see.

I was on the floor of the bathroom, the toilet to the right of my head. Darry was standing there, looking down at me and shaking his head. "God, I can't believe you."

"Darry?" I was shocked. The last person I expected to wake up and see was Darry.

"Yeah? What the hell were you thinking? Don't you ever use your head?"

"Guess I'm like Ponyboy, huh?" I laughed lightly, but it made my head pulse. Ugh...

"No. Even Pony has the sense not to go to a party and get drunk."

With that sentence, everything started to come back. Drinking, kissing Dally, almost sleeping with Dally before sending him to get me more beer. He'd come back with another glass, which I sucked down quickly, and then...I didn't remember anything.

"What happened?" My hand was pressed against my forehead, which felt warm under my palm. Now whether that was because my forehead was actually hot, or my hands were just really clammy and cold, I didn't know.

"Dally said that you drank three huge glasses of beer and then were talking nonstop before you started going on and on about something, though about what, he wouldn't tell me. And then, when you started puking, he brought you here and left."

It was then that everything finally sunk in. "He didn't really care about me at all, did he?" I whispered.

"No. Dally doesn't love anything, nothin' but Johnny. He almost killed himself because he thought Johnny died."

"What?!" I squealed, then wished I hadn't. "You know what? Never mind. I'll ask you later." After taking a breath, I got back to the previous subject. "God, I don't know why...he only wanted to sleep with me."

"You were just another conquest. Johnny and I warned you, but you didn't listen. That's your own fault."

"I know." I sighed as my head started to throb and closed my eyes to try to ease it.

"You didn't..." Darry trailed off before clearing his throat. "Right?"

"Not that I know of," I answered truthfully. "God, I can't believe I did that."

"Neither can I. And I wasn't so thrilled that I had to stay here all night and hold your hair back while you puked and went on and on about how sorry you were about everything and how much you didn't really like Dally."

I winced. "Sorry."

"It's fine. It's all settled." He gave me a small smile, which made me want to jump for joy. I never thought I'd see that again.

Darry turned and was about to walk out the door. "Get yourself cleaned up. I got you one of my shirts and a pair of Pony's shorts to change into."

"Thanks," I granted, knowing that he did that because he didn't want to go through my clothes. "And Darry, thanks a lot for being there for me when he wasn't."

He smiled again, very slightly, before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a second and almost ran right away from it. Thinking about how Darry, or anyone, for that matter, saw me like this made me blush tremendously. My cheeks were flushed, but the rest of my face was dead pale. My hair was all twisted and knotted, and my skin was clammy. Oh...ew...there was also a stain near the collar of my shirt. Didn't take a lot of brain power to figure out where that came from...

Without a second thought, I hopped into the shower and made sure that I was the cleanest I had ever been in my life. After brushing my teeth so long and hard that my gums started to bleed, I walked into the living room, where all three Curtis brothers plus Sammy were watching TV. My head was still throbbing and I was still nauseas, but at least I wasn't disgusting anymore.

Soda, Ponyboy, and Sammy just stared at me, as if they couldn't believe what they saw. I felt my face turn to flames, and Darry stood up, deciding not to isolate me.

"Want anything?"

"Aspirin, please," I half-begged. Darry nodded and got up from the couch. Since everyone was still staring at me with disbelief, I decided to follow Darry.

"Here," he offered, putting the pills in my hand carefully to make sure that I didn't drop them, though my hands were shaking slightly.

"Why were they looking at me like that?" I whispered so they didn't hear me.

"'Cause they don't know the whole story. All they know is that I sat with you in the bathroom all night. They figure you got drunk though, and they're kind of shocked that you'd do that. I don't blame them."

"God, I can't believe you did that. After all I did to you."

He just shrugged, staying quiet, as we ventured out into the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water for me, which I took a gulp of before popping the pills into my mouth and swallowing, wincing.

"Hey," I stopped him from going back into the other room. "What exactly did I say when I was only half-conscious?"

"Lots of things," he answered, his eyes intense.

I just kept staring at him so that he'd elaborate. Finally, he opened his mouth and took in a breath to start talking.

Then, the door opened forcefully.

"Johnnycakes?" Pony gasped, as if he couldn't believe it. Johnny was the one that just walked in, the door that loud? Was that possible?!

"Sophia Grace," Johnny hissed, stepping into the kitchen. The look on Johnny's face almost made me start bawling. He looked so angry; I'd never seen him like that, and from the looks on everyone else's faces, they hadn't either.

"Johnny?" Darry escaped out of the room to escape the impending drama, but I had a feeling that this conversation wasn't going to stay within the walls of the kitchen.

"Are you stupid or something?! Going out with DALLY of all people?! And oh, not only that, but I warned you about him! I TOLD YOU! But you went ahead and did it anyway! And not only that, but you got shitfaced?! I hope to God that you didn't do anything stupid!"

"I..."

"You're damn lucky that Darry actually gives a rat's ass about you because otherwise, you'd have been jumped by the Socs or something, just left out in the street. I can't believe you did that. I wonder sometimes how I'm the greaser, and you're the brainiac going off to Stanford. I really do."

Something about that got me right in the heart. I knew that Johnny was right. He didn't drink, and he actually had some common sense.

"I'm sorry, Johnny, but that's all over now. I'm not with Dally anymore."

"Well, you better tell him that, 'cause I'm not sure he knows."

"Whoa, Johnny, you sure that's you?" Ponyboy let out in a breath, absolutely shocked. Everyone was just...stopped in their tracks. Johnny had never, ever scolded anyone, especially not to that degree.

I could feel the tears starting to build in my eyes, which was making my head pound even more, as I thought more and more about Johnny's last comment. It hurt how much that actually applied.

The door opened again, and in came Dally, bright-eyed. "Hey," he greeted.

All the eyes turned from Johnny and me to Dally, who was extremely unwanted and out-of-place. Then, Dally's and my eyes locked.

The pressure was building, and finally, I just ran into my room and shut the door. I just lied on my bed and closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them again, everything would be back to how it was before, and everything was just a nightmare. My life wasn't turning upside down.

Oh, how I wished that were true.