Change of Heart

I sighed as I woke up, looking out the window. At the realization that it was my last day in Tulsa, I teared up a little.

I didn't want to leave Tulsa, not at all. Sure, I knew that I'd be going back to California, where I'd be able to attend Stanford, but...something had changed in me. That wasn't the most important thing in my life anymore, school.

Shaking my head, I worked to clear my head. I shouldn't spend my last day worrying.

There was a knock at the door, to which I immediately said, "Come in."

For a second, I hesitated when I saw Darry walk into the room, closing the door behind him. "Why aren't you at work...?" I wondered, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I can't do that," he whispered, pulling me close to him. "It's your last day. You have to spend it the best you can."

"Okay," I agreed, moving a little closer before pulling back. "I gotta brush my teeth first."

A few minutes later, I went back and tackled him. His hands were around my waist securely as I leaned down, kissing him with intensity.

"Come on," Darry whispered, pulling on my hand. "Let's go have breakfast."

"You didn't eat yet?" I asked as he kept his hand entwined with mine as we walked down the stairs, leading the way.

"Nope. I was waiting for you to get up." As we walked into the kitchen, I took a seat at the kitchen table and watched him start to prepare breakfast.

"Are you sure you don't want me to do that?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at him.

"No. You just sit there." Darry looked over and grinned at me before turning back to the stove.

Not long later, he put down the plate in front of me and sat in the chair next to me. We ate in silence, and it felt kind of wrong. I felt like I should have said something, but I just wasn't quite sure what exactly to say.

"So what do you want to do today?" Darry asked. "It's your last day, so we can do whatever you want to."

"I just want to spend it with you," I smiled, taking his hand. "But whatever we do, it's up to you."

"Ugh...I see what you did there," he laughed, remembering that I hated making decisions of any kind. "Alright. Well, we could just hang around here for a while."

"Okay," I agreed, getting up. We settled on the couch, Darry's arm around my middle, and watched TV for a while.

There was a knock at the door about a half hour later, and I got up before Darry could even comprehend what happened so that I could see who was there. He was kind of acting like I was sick or something, catering to everything I said. It was annoying and awesome at the same time.

"Hey!" I greeted Sammy at the front door, though I was kind of confused. All those weeks ago, when Pony cheated on her and he apologized, she hadn't taken him back. I felt badly for Pony, but at the same time, I totally understood her point of view. It's hard to forgive someone and forget everything that happened when that strong trust bond has been broken.

"Hi!" Sammy stepped through the door and hugged me. "I knew that today was your last day, so I just wanted to say goodbye. And I brought..."

"Johnny!" I exclaimed as he came out from behind her before she was ready. I hugged him tightly. With all the drama that had gone on this summer, I hadn't spent nearly enough time with him. It was almost like he wasn't even there some of the time. It was sad, but I was glad that I got to see him now.

For a while, we all sat around in the living room, talking, laughing, and catching up. Eventually, Soda and Ponyboy got their lazy butts up and joined us, and though Pony and Sammy were both there, it wasn't awkward.

Around two o'clock, everyone left to go out for a late lunch, leaving Darry and me alone in the house. We started watching TV again, but in the middle of the news, I started to cry a little. I hadn't realized that I was even thinking about leaving, but after I started to crying, I couldn't avoid the subject.

"Shhh," Darry soothed, running his hand through my hair. "It's okay." I felt him kiss the back of my head.

"Ugh," I sniffled, wiping my eyes and face. "I hate crying. I just...I'm gonna miss this...a lot."

"I'll miss you too," Darry teased. He turned me around to face him before cupping my face in his hands.

"Listen," he started, his eyes intense. "I know that you don't want to go, but you're gonna have to be strong. We all do."

I nodded and wiped my eyes. This wasn't the time to get upset. There was still a whole day ahead of us, and I didn't want to waste it.

Slowly, I pulled him closer to me and kissed him deeply. Without missing a beat, he flipped us over so he was resting on top of me.

His hand was warm on the back of my neck, and it was giving me goosebumps. When his hand started to crawl up my shirt, touching the tender skin on my stomach, I pulled away and looked up at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, starting to get up.

"No," I stopped him. "Don't be."

It was at that moment that I realized how much I really cared for Darry. I wanted him to have the most important thing to me, the most important thing to most girls, my virginity. I knew that I wouldn't regret it. How, I wasn't sure. It was a feeling in my gut.

Starting to kiss him again, I let my hands wander up his shirt. In response, he smiled into the kiss and picked me up from the couch, bridal style, before making his way down the hallway.

***

The rest of the night went well. Darry made dinner, since I insisted that we had a normal dinner instead of going out. Darry and I were almost attached at the hip for the entire night, and from the look that Soda shot Ponyboy, they knew something was different.

After dinner, Two-Bit and Steve made appearances to say goodbye, though they didn't stay too long. Then, right before I was about to head off to sleep, Dally showed up.

"Hi," he nodded, looking a little out of place.

Sensing something, everyone made excuses to clear out of the living room so Dally and I were alone.

"Leaving tomorrow, Two-Bit told me," he started, his hands in his pockets. I'd never seen him look so...insignificant before. It was strange.

"Yeah." Being the bigger person, I gave him a hug. "Wish me luck at Stanford."

"Good luck," Dally repeated, smiling. A genuine smile. My heart stuttered for a second from the pure shock.

I waved before saying, "Bye, Dally. It's been nice knowing you."

He smirked at the irony and said goodbye as I turned away from him, knowing that would be the last time I ever would see him. The last time I saw anyone.

***

The next morning, Darry carried my bags out to the car, and the entire drive to the airport was silent. Every now and then, a tear would escape down my cheek, but I worked hard to keep them suppressed. I didn't want Darry to know how upset I was about leaving.

It was only after I picked up my ticket that everything started to settle in for him. He grabbed my hand as we waited for my flight to be called, squeezing hard.

"Man, I'm gonna miss you," he informed me huskily.

Running my thumb along the top of his hand, I mumbled, "I'll miss you too."

From a short distance, I saw an elderly woman looking at us, her head cocked slightly to the right. I gave her a quizzical look, and she smiled at me.

"You two remind me of my Alfredo and me," she mused, her hands clasped and a dreamy look on her face. "Married fifty seven years before the flu took him."

Giving Darry a sad look, I wondered about that. I could definitely see me marrying him, and I had before. But how was that going to happen, with me halfway across the country? He was just going to find another girl that was much prettier and more interesting than me... It wasn't like they were in short supply.

Me though...I wouldn't find anyone. I knew that. If he found someone new, that would have been fine. I'd just live my life alone, wishing that I'd done something different.

Unless I stopped it now.

"Maybe I shouldn't go," I panicked, looking at Darry with my eyes wide. "Maybe I should just stay with you...We could..."

Darry stopped me by putting a hand over my mouth. "Sophia, don't talk like that. Shush. You're going to go to college, and you're going to be successful. Don't even think about staying."

"Flight 139 now boarding," a pleasant woman's voice announced over the intercom.

After closing my eyes for a second to compose myself, I stood, my bag in hand, my suitcase in the other. Darry and I walked to the gate, and I turned to say goodbye.

Darry threw his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "Alright, I changed my mind. Don't leave. Don't leave me."

"I have to," I sobbed, finally letting the tears flow. "I think...I think it'd be easier if we broke up... Just while I go to college. If I graduate and, somehow, you don't find someone new...then we'll see."

He looked shocked as I walked toward the gate shakily, not believing what I'd just done. I silently thanked the lord that I didn't wear makeup as I started through the file of people. Right as I was about to walk through the doorway and lose Darry forever, I heard a scream.

"I LOVE YOU, SOPHIA!"

Out of instinct, I turned toward him. I wanted more than anything to yell the words back, but before I was able to, the crowd pushed me forward, cutting off my view of the man I really loved.