Status: if youd like you can subscribe, i'm going to write a short sequel to this :D
On To The Next One.
one of one
Phoenix’s pov
I still don’t understand what I did. What I did to make you do this to me. I was so in love with you, Quinn you were my whole world. Maybe that’s why everything is so hard for me. You weren’t my first boyfriend, I’d had all of my firsts taken from other boys at other times except my first love, because Quinn-baby that was you.
Being in love was really the best thing that I had ever felt. The feeling that I knew I would do anything for you. That you did brighten up my day and made me smile when I was sad. Even after all you did to me I still think you are such a beautiful person.
I can hear the yelling, the bed hitting against the wall, my boyfriend moaning like he only should with me. I will see the bruises, the scratches down his back. I’m going to be able to smell sex next time I walk into our bedroom.
I just felt so small. Like everyone was laughing at me all the time because I kept taking your cheating ass back! I was the stupid one, and you got the perks or being in a relationship while sleeping around at the same time.
Yet, all I did was pull the door closed and walked back outside toward my car. I couldn’t take walking into the room to yell at you. I’d have to see you with that, that fucking whore you were with. Truthfully they probably didn’t know you were with someone. That you had a cute little boyfriend who keeps taking you back every single time you fuck someone else.
All I hope is that you weren’t cheating on me the entire relationship. I’d like to think for at least a small time you were happy, and in love with me. You told me you loved me, and even when I broke it off, when I finally left you, you told me you loved me. I just don’t know if you can ever trust a liar. I guess I just have to pick and choose.
An hour I came home with puffy eyes and a sad look to my face. I’d gone to get a coffee and tried to fix up my face in the bathroom but it hadn’t worked. Anyone who wasn’t blind could tell that I’d been crying. There was nothing I could do and really, I deserve to fucking cry. My boyfriend was just having sex with someone in our bed not even an hour ago.
I carelessly dropped my car keys on the kitchen table once I’d made my way into it and sat myself down on one of the chairs. I just wonder if Quinn’s nice little fuck had left yet. I’m guessing yes, he probably doesn’t want to get caught. If he did they could have fucked on the couch.
“Phoenix, are you home?” Quinn called from a different room in the apartment. I felt my eyes tear up from just hearing his voice.
“Yeah.” My voice came our raspy and thick with tears as I called back to him. Any moment he’d come running out with a smile on his face like he hadn’t just cheated on me.
My eyes zones in on the clock that was hanging on our kitchen was as I watched the seconds tick away. Before long I herd the pitter-patter of Quinn’s bare feet coming down the hall as he made his way toward the kitchen.
Once he entered he came right over to me and placed a kiss on the top of my head. “How was your day baby?” That question was just mean, especially with the baby that was tacked on to it. He’d gone over and pulled the fridge open, bending himself over so that I had a nice view of his boxer clad ass. Lucky me.
“Well it was good, but I bet your day was a lot better seeing as I haven’t had the pleasure of fucking someone today.” I was proud and surprised at my statement. It came out calm and bitter just like it needed to. I didn’t shutter and I didn’t start crying like I thought I would have. I watched as his body went ridged and he turned to look at me with shock written all over his face.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” I wish he would come clean instead of lying to me. He’d moved to he was in my line of sight but I just let my eyes fall to the table.
“I originally came home an hour ago, but I left when I heard you moaning and went to cry at the coffee shop.”
I even took him back after that. He promised me it would be me and only me. I guess it’s true when they say love is blind because all I could see was the boy I was madly in love with and I believed all his empty lies.
I didn’t think he’d keep cheating on me but I think once the lies let his mouth he was thinking about his next fuck.
And you’re on to the next one.
On to the next one.
On to the next one.
On to the next one.
The next time I caught you, the second time I’d walked into the house to hear you and another man’s moans and groans filling the air I thought I would have passed out. My world blurred together for a few moments as I held the wall for support.
A choirs of ‘of fuck’ and ‘harder’ were screamed into the air as my wobbly legs brought me closer and closer to the bedroom that we shared. The constant banging and moans just broke my heart more and more with every second but I couldn’t put up with this again.
I let myself stand right in front of the door, my hand raising and my fingertips ghosting over the wood. My head dropped so that my chin rested against my chest as the tears began to fall.
He was breaking my heart yet again, but this time I wouldn’t let him get away with it.
I pulled my hand way from the door and just sat myself down against the opposite wall.
The day I left Quinn was terrifying, truthfully. I was living with him, and I knew that I didn’t have enough money for my own place. I wasn’t going to be able to make it all by myself but I knew that I couldn’t let that keep me in a relationship with a guy that clearly didn’t care about me. His lies about changing couldn’t go on.
This time I’ve got to live without you.
That’s just the way it has to be.
I had a lot of friends that were more then willing to help because they loved me more then my cheating boyfriend did. I couldn’t allow myself to be miserable like Quinn was making me so I knew I had to learn to live without him and move on with my life.
When the two were finally done having sex and left the bedroom they were both met with my tear soaked face. I’d been wearing eyeliner so I probably looked horrible but it really didn’t matter.
“Phoenix.” Passed threw Quinn’s lips like my name just made it harder. Like he didn’t want to be caught, yet again, fucking someone behind my back.
“Why do you do this to me?” I whimpered out because, this fucking hurts. I love him, even if he likes to prove to me how much he doesn’t love me. “You could at least go to your whores house! You’re fucking random people in our bed!” I screeched out. I think deep down I knew he wanted me to find out about all this. If he didn’t he would have been much more careful.
“Baby! You have to understand that I don’t mean to do this, it just happens! I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” By now his knees had buckled and he was on his knees in front of me, our faces level. I watched as he brought his hands up as if it cup my face but I didn’t want him touching me. The thought of his hands being all over another man then touching me made me sick.
“Don’t you fucking touch me.” My voice was cold and hard and my heart just continued to shatter into more and more pieces. “I don’t deserve this Quinn. I’m a good fucking boyfriend, I love you so much but I can do so much better. I’m not doing this again.”
“No Phoenix, please baby. You can’t leave me. I love you so very much.” How could I tell if that was the truth or not?
“If you loved me like you say you wouldn’t keep cheating on me.” I looked past Quinn’s head for a moment to see the guy scrambling around our bedroom getting dressed. He looked completely horrified when he caught me looking at him. I could tell he didn’t know about me. “I’ll call you in a few days so I can pick up my stuff.” and with that I was gone.
I still don’t understand what I did. What I did to make you do this to me. I was so in love with you, Quinn you were my whole world. Maybe that’s why everything is so hard for me. You weren’t my first boyfriend, I’d had all of my firsts taken from other boys at other times except my first love, because Quinn-baby that was you.
Being in love was really the best thing that I had ever felt. The feeling that I knew I would do anything for you. That you did brighten up my day and made me smile when I was sad. Even after all you did to me I still think you are such a beautiful person.
I can hear the yelling, the bed hitting against the wall, my boyfriend moaning like he only should with me. I will see the bruises, the scratches down his back. I’m going to be able to smell sex next time I walk into our bedroom.
I just felt so small. Like everyone was laughing at me all the time because I kept taking your cheating ass back! I was the stupid one, and you got the perks or being in a relationship while sleeping around at the same time.
Yet, all I did was pull the door closed and walked back outside toward my car. I couldn’t take walking into the room to yell at you. I’d have to see you with that, that fucking whore you were with. Truthfully they probably didn’t know you were with someone. That you had a cute little boyfriend who keeps taking you back every single time you fuck someone else.
All I hope is that you weren’t cheating on me the entire relationship. I’d like to think for at least a small time you were happy, and in love with me. You told me you loved me, and even when I broke it off, when I finally left you, you told me you loved me. I just don’t know if you can ever trust a liar. I guess I just have to pick and choose.
An hour I came home with puffy eyes and a sad look to my face. I’d gone to get a coffee and tried to fix up my face in the bathroom but it hadn’t worked. Anyone who wasn’t blind could tell that I’d been crying. There was nothing I could do and really, I deserve to fucking cry. My boyfriend was just having sex with someone in our bed not even an hour ago.
I carelessly dropped my car keys on the kitchen table once I’d made my way into it and sat myself down on one of the chairs. I just wonder if Quinn’s nice little fuck had left yet. I’m guessing yes, he probably doesn’t want to get caught. If he did they could have fucked on the couch.
“Phoenix, are you home?” Quinn called from a different room in the apartment. I felt my eyes tear up from just hearing his voice.
“Yeah.” My voice came our raspy and thick with tears as I called back to him. Any moment he’d come running out with a smile on his face like he hadn’t just cheated on me.
My eyes zones in on the clock that was hanging on our kitchen was as I watched the seconds tick away. Before long I herd the pitter-patter of Quinn’s bare feet coming down the hall as he made his way toward the kitchen.
Once he entered he came right over to me and placed a kiss on the top of my head. “How was your day baby?” That question was just mean, especially with the baby that was tacked on to it. He’d gone over and pulled the fridge open, bending himself over so that I had a nice view of his boxer clad ass. Lucky me.
“Well it was good, but I bet your day was a lot better seeing as I haven’t had the pleasure of fucking someone today.” I was proud and surprised at my statement. It came out calm and bitter just like it needed to. I didn’t shutter and I didn’t start crying like I thought I would have. I watched as his body went ridged and he turned to look at me with shock written all over his face.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” I wish he would come clean instead of lying to me. He’d moved to he was in my line of sight but I just let my eyes fall to the table.
“I originally came home an hour ago, but I left when I heard you moaning and went to cry at the coffee shop.”
I even took him back after that. He promised me it would be me and only me. I guess it’s true when they say love is blind because all I could see was the boy I was madly in love with and I believed all his empty lies.
I didn’t think he’d keep cheating on me but I think once the lies let his mouth he was thinking about his next fuck.
And you’re on to the next one.
On to the next one.
On to the next one.
On to the next one.
The next time I caught you, the second time I’d walked into the house to hear you and another man’s moans and groans filling the air I thought I would have passed out. My world blurred together for a few moments as I held the wall for support.
A choirs of ‘of fuck’ and ‘harder’ were screamed into the air as my wobbly legs brought me closer and closer to the bedroom that we shared. The constant banging and moans just broke my heart more and more with every second but I couldn’t put up with this again.
I let myself stand right in front of the door, my hand raising and my fingertips ghosting over the wood. My head dropped so that my chin rested against my chest as the tears began to fall.
He was breaking my heart yet again, but this time I wouldn’t let him get away with it.
I pulled my hand way from the door and just sat myself down against the opposite wall.
The day I left Quinn was terrifying, truthfully. I was living with him, and I knew that I didn’t have enough money for my own place. I wasn’t going to be able to make it all by myself but I knew that I couldn’t let that keep me in a relationship with a guy that clearly didn’t care about me. His lies about changing couldn’t go on.
This time I’ve got to live without you.
That’s just the way it has to be.
I had a lot of friends that were more then willing to help because they loved me more then my cheating boyfriend did. I couldn’t allow myself to be miserable like Quinn was making me so I knew I had to learn to live without him and move on with my life.
When the two were finally done having sex and left the bedroom they were both met with my tear soaked face. I’d been wearing eyeliner so I probably looked horrible but it really didn’t matter.
“Phoenix.” Passed threw Quinn’s lips like my name just made it harder. Like he didn’t want to be caught, yet again, fucking someone behind my back.
“Why do you do this to me?” I whimpered out because, this fucking hurts. I love him, even if he likes to prove to me how much he doesn’t love me. “You could at least go to your whores house! You’re fucking random people in our bed!” I screeched out. I think deep down I knew he wanted me to find out about all this. If he didn’t he would have been much more careful.
“Baby! You have to understand that I don’t mean to do this, it just happens! I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” By now his knees had buckled and he was on his knees in front of me, our faces level. I watched as he brought his hands up as if it cup my face but I didn’t want him touching me. The thought of his hands being all over another man then touching me made me sick.
“Don’t you fucking touch me.” My voice was cold and hard and my heart just continued to shatter into more and more pieces. “I don’t deserve this Quinn. I’m a good fucking boyfriend, I love you so much but I can do so much better. I’m not doing this again.”
“No Phoenix, please baby. You can’t leave me. I love you so very much.” How could I tell if that was the truth or not?
“If you loved me like you say you wouldn’t keep cheating on me.” I looked past Quinn’s head for a moment to see the guy scrambling around our bedroom getting dressed. He looked completely horrified when he caught me looking at him. I could tell he didn’t know about me. “I’ll call you in a few days so I can pick up my stuff.” and with that I was gone.